Is my husband taking advantage of me?

[Yiyi and Chris 0]

I agree with Olivia...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

50% of everything he has is yours!!!

including his debts, remember........

It depends on which state they reside in and where they were married.

In Texas and Idaho the couple does not split the debt that they came into the marriage with and there is no alimony like in California.

I am unsure of the marriage laws in Chicago where her profile says she lives.

Mona Lisa $5 and hour is not even the federal minimum wage. It is ridiculous that you work for your Husband and his Mother in Laws company without a wage especially working weekends and holidays. They are both taking extreme advantage of your kindness and naiveness. There are laws to protect you. You may be eligible for back wages. At the minimum they should pay you $7-$10 an hour and time and half for Holidays and overtime if you worked more than a 40+ week, which sounds like you may have if you're working weekends too.

Document all your time worked if you can remember that far back.

Then go get your drivers license and or learn the bus route and start shopping for a new job. Since you're going to need a reference for when you start applying for other work keep on good terms.

I agree it's time to empower yourself and establishing your life in the US even if that means finding work outside your Husband's company and family.

Find out the laws in your state about how your Husband's bills affect you accordingly and then make your choices of if you want to be added to them or not.

A few more things I'd like to add.

When you get a new job get your own bank account and put money aside in it enough to support yourself for six months if things get worse with your marriage. Do not tell him what you make or what you are bringing home or what you are saving until he is forthright with you about his financial situation. Do not put him on your account as you've seen their greediness and need to protect yourself. I agree with the others that you need to sit down and talk with him first about everything and get some straight answers.

I am wondering if this company was his parents and when the Dad was out of the picture the Mom put the son on all the accounts as he was stepping up to take it over. Then it would make sense why her behavior is the way it is. It still does not make it right that you are not getting a standard living wage.

[Yiyi and Chris 0]

It really doesn't sound good how this guy is treating you, but we are noone to judge, we are all here to give you some advices, at the end it will be you who make a decision

[Fandango 1,439]

1. Dude is a pu$$y-whipped Momma's Boy.

2. You CANNOT cure a Momma's Boy. - Mommy will always be right, and you will always be wrong.

3. If you DO co-mingle your finances, you'll be screwed cuz it sounds like Mommy has screwed everything all up. Your credit rating will be affected too.

4. If you DON'T get your name on things, you won't have a prayer of being considered a partner in a valid marriage, and you might be asked to leave the country.

5. I'd make plans for getting a real job, getting an apartment, and letting hubby stay where he is; shagging his mommy.

Seriously - Dude is a worthless, spineless, useless TOOL if everything is like you say it is. GET OUT NOW or you will always be second-best to Mommy.

I agree.

Tho even without a co mingling of accts, in FL at the very least...his debt is her debt too. Don't know about everywhere else.

[almaty 19]

not true, in all states..where one party in the marriage can file bankrutcy and not the other...

[Nessa 23]

talk to him and if things don't change go and find yourself another job. I'd never allow someone to take advantage of me like that.

[msu17 0]

Definitely try talking with him. If that doesn't work, my next suggestion would be go talk with a financial planner. If nothing else comes from it, they should at least be able to point out the fact that his mom being on your bills and not you isn't normal. I know I'd have an easier time getting my husband to go to a financial planner than a therapist to talk about these issues. Hopefully he would fully disclose to the analyst his financial situation so you can get a better picture of what's going on. Finally, either get a contract signed with his family and demand a fair salary, min. wage at least. Personally, I would just politely tell them you wish to pursue other interests, start looking for another job and offer to help out until you have found this new job.

Keep in mind finances are the #1 reason for divorce. He needs to be open with you for this marriage to work.

[Cdn_Ali 11]

Does his mother own half the company? You need to stop working for free and don't add your name to any of the bills until you know the true financial situation of this company. I agree with everyone else - become independent and get your own job somewhere else. If your husband has any respect for you, he will understand. (If he doesn't understand? RED FLAG!!!!!)

[gensdad515 2]

Does his mother own half the company? You need to stop working for free and don't add your name to any of the bills until you know the true financial situation of this company. I agree with everyone else - become independent and get your own job somewhere else. If your husband has any respect for you, he will understand. (If he doesn't understand? RED FLAG!!!!!)

Have to agree with Platy. This dude needs to get some b@lls. Have a talk with hubby. It should be you and him, not you him and momma.

Being his wife you should be treated with a little more r-e-s-p-e-c-t. That's my 2 cents. J.

[yogib37 3]

whoa....brother platy...

well bro. Dean, I think he is 100% right what he said.. it may be blunt and direct to the point but, #######, he is right..

Yogi

[zqt3344 21]

Oh my, you have been duped. Be careful moving forward, God Bless you.

Hi everybody,

I love my husband soo much, but this situation has cold our married after the fight with his mother.

I am married 2 years and I have been here 1 year and few months, I dont have job yet but as my husband is a owner of a little company I have been working with him since I arrived here. After some months I realized that his mother (the secretary) was hidding some bills of me, I didnt know how many bills we had and I asked and asked her several time, she said everything was ok and he always said that everything was ok and she did agree with what he said. I have worked so hard and never saw the money, I have shame to ask for money to my husband to buy essential things for woman, I have working soo hard even in our aniverssary, sundays and holydays, I was working without know what I was working for and one day I got sooooo furious I fougth with her and let the thing very clear: I wanted to see every bill that arrived at home. So time past and I discovered that his bill is $50 thousand dollares and I realized that was her bad administration that let us deeper in bills and to get more drastic, today I called to the phone company to add my name in the bill and guess: the woman told there was two names there are HER NAME and his name, then I acessed anothers counts and the big surprise every bills are in his name and Her F*&^K name together.

She has a daughter that is not married yet and they keep telling her that if her and her boyfriend split up, everthing that she worked and paid for will pertence to her boyfriend because everything is in his name. With this example I mirror myself.

What Should I do with this situation? Talk with Him? Talk with her about this? Please some advice.

Mona Lisa

[bora bora 1]

1. You need to talk to your husband and let him know everything that is bothering you. Your mother in-law should not be included in any of the accounts and should not be responsible for your bills. Period. You're a married a couple now and need to take care of that stuff on your own.

2. Ask for a salary and noooooooooooooo, $5/day is not enough!!! You need to get paid a lot more than that.

3. If he doesn't like your suggestions, then it's time to get a job of your own and try to find some kind of independence in this country because without it, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life.

Diana

Exactly!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

50% of everything he has is yours!!!

including his debts, remember........

It depends on which state they reside in and where they were married.

In Texas and Idaho the couple does not split the debt that they came into the marriage with and there is no alimony like in California.

I am unsure of the marriage laws in Chicago where her profile says she lives.

Mona Lisa $5 and hour is not even the federal minimum wage. It is ridiculous that you work for your Husband and his Mother in Laws company without a wage especially working weekends and holidays. They are both taking extreme advantage of your kindness and naiveness. There are laws to protect you. You may be eligible for back wages. At the minimum they should pay you $7-$10 an hour and time and half for Holidays and overtime if you worked more than a 40+ week, which sounds like you may have if you're working weekends too.

Document all your time worked if you can remember that far back.

Then go get your drivers license and or learn the bus route and start shopping for a new job. Since you're going to need a reference for when you start applying for other work keep on good terms.

I agree it's time to empower yourself and establishing your life in the US even if that means finding work outside your Husband's company and family.

Find out the laws in your state about how your Husband's bills affect you accordingly and then make your choices of if you want to be added to them or not.

Again, depending on state law, her work for her husband's company (or even her husband and MIL's company) does not have to be for a wage. She could be contributing to the husband's equity in the company, and that increase or appreciation would become part of the marital estate.

[Yiyi and Chris 0]

MONA LISA NEVER CAME BACK, Let's hope that everything went well