Thanks all for the congratulations!

[Nutty 2]

One difference between us is our temperments.

He is extremely calm. Almost horizontal in his calmness. While I am impatient often. So, when it comes to doing things he is as slow as molassas. WHile for me, I have a list and try to do everything perfectly and timely.

I've been reading about something called "adjustment disorder" and I think that is what I have. I have tried to adjust to living in the USA after living in India for a few years, but can't seem to keep up the pace. It makes me so stressed out.

All the while, when I am dealing with being a caregiver to that old man, working, trying to get my husband on his feet, I am stressing. And there is my husband preaching at me to be calm. I just can't stand it.

[tammy2688 1]

Do not feel bad for your outbursts. Any communication is good communication. Instead of keeping it all inside and waiting for the cork to pop, it is good that you are vocal. Tina, I am very vocal too and I never let things go easily. I too have my outbursts and frustrated days. When my husband comes, I will have to watch myself as well.

Abbas is a bit uneasy and he will get the hang of helping you and being a part of the machine of your life. He will get the hang of it, I promise you. He is hesitant and confused now as what to do and how to do it, but he will be a pro come one year. This is the hard time to pass, and you will see he is a good husband and supporter of you when you need the help around the house and in other areas. He will also get a job and understand the the feeling of working 50 hours a week and will know how to behave around you, your likes and dislikes and you will see you will not have to stress so much anymore. Take it a day at a time. Breathe. Pray. Give God a chance to help him understand what to do. Abbas will be there for you in all your highs and lows in life, he just needs some time here to be with you and see what life is like here.

My love and prayers, to you.

Tammy

[tammy2688 1]

One difference between us is our temperments.

He is extremely calm. Almost horizontal in his calmness. While I am impatient often. So, when it comes to doing things he is as slow as molassas. WHile for me, I have a list and try to do everything perfectly and timely.

I've been reading about something called "adjustment disorder" and I think that is what I have. I have tried to adjust to living in the USA after living in India for a few years, but can't seem to keep up the pace. It makes me so stressed out.

All the while, when I am dealing with being a caregiver to that old man, working, trying to get my husband on his feet, I am stressing. And there is my husband preaching at me to be calm. I just can't stand it.

Tina, my husband is that calm type too and I am that quick list making type and have to do everything on a schedule and timely fashion too. So I know what you mean. But remember, if there are TWO impatient and hot tempered people, there is only a catastrophe. I believe one reason you loved him is because he is different than you in nature. Yes it is annoying when you are freaking out and he is talking about how beautiful life is, but honestly, I am happy he is that way for you. Believe me, once he gets into work and this fast paced life, he will change a lot. He will understand your stress.

After 6 months of living here, your mentality and his mentality will be much more similar. Give it time and I know you and Abbas will be a wonderful and understanding couple, more than you already are.

With love,

Tammy

[Nutty 2]

One difference between us is our temperments.

He is extremely calm. Almost horizontal in his calmness. While I am impatient often. So, when it comes to doing things he is as slow as molassas. WHile for me, I have a list and try to do everything perfectly and timely.

I've been reading about something called "adjustment disorder" and I think that is what I have. I have tried to adjust to living in the USA after living in India for a few years, but can't seem to keep up the pace. It makes me so stressed out.

All the while, when I am dealing with being a caregiver to that old man, working, trying to get my husband on his feet, I am stressing. And there is my husband preaching at me to be calm. I just can't stand it.

Tina, my husband is that calm type too and I am that quick list making type and have to do everything on a schedule and timely fashion too. So I know what you mean. But remember, if there are TWO impatient and hot tempered people, there is only a catastrophe. I believe one reason you loved him is because he is different than you in nature. Yes it is annoying when you are freaking out and he is talking about how beautiful life is, but honestly, I am happy he is that way for you. Believe me, once he gets into work and this fast paced life, he will change a lot. He will understand your stress.

After 6 months of living here, your mentality and his mentality will be much more similar. Give it time and I know you and Abbas will be a wonderful and understanding couple, more than you already are.

With love,

Tammy

Dear Tammy,

You hit it on the nail, when you say one person is freaking out while the other is talking about how beautiful life is. He is always telling me to be calm. I just don't have the reserves anymore.

I am giving him a little shopping list of what to do now. A taste of responsibility:

1) I want him to go down to the DMV, alone, and apply for an ID card. The other option is that he finish studying the driver's handbook and take a driving test (but we need to borrow a car) and get his license. I want him to do this without asking for me to come along.