How much times does your MENA man spend on the phone or computer???

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

My husband is online watching 3arabtv from the time his eyes open until he falls asleep. We don't have tv at home, because the constant noise makes me just crazy. So, yes, the constant noise from the computer makes me nuts too. I wish I could meet the people who developed this thing called the internet, I have a few things to say to him. Oh, wait! I use it a lot too. My bad! LOL

Well there is a program called SPECTOR PRO which costs 99 dollars which I installed on my computer that screen shots and records every single IM conversation, email, myspace vist and website visit as well as everything looked at. You can check behind anyone using the program by pushing a series of 5 keys then a secret screen pops up and then you enter a password and a control panel pops up and you can fast foward through site visits and go directly to all outgoing emails.

Word of warning, I caught my husband using this and I ended up with a broken laptop. I have not seen any email exchanges but there were other things that upset me. He broke the laptop. I have since reinstalled it on the new one and ( I had bought a back up cd which I recommend highly) If hes not doing anything, you are relieved. If he is, you are going to find out more than you EVER wanted to know. Especially if there is chatting going on because it records all IM conversations from messengers. You have to be very stealth and then record over a week. Once you find out everything, you can either confront, or not confront or figure out from there what you will do.

I dont regret installing the program because I really needed to know where I stood. He still doesnt know exactly how I catch him because this program is so stealth, it has no file, no identifiers ANYTHING. You can do things with it you couldnt imagine. I can also see what my 13 year old does online as well.

I think that for each their own but if I was having SERIOUS doubts, I wouldnt mine a program. If you are unaware of things and a 6 hour a day session on the internet is making you feel insecure, I think this could clear alot of things up. I know for sure without it I wouldnt have had a clue.

Personally, I have not come to a decision about what I am doing about staying in my marriage or leaving but I will say that knowing what was going on behind my back has helped somewhat in perception and not thinking I am overreacting. I was pissed for a reason

[doodlebugg 10]

My husband is online watching 3arabtv from the time his eyes open until he falls asleep. We don't have tv at home, because the constant noise makes me just crazy. So, yes, the constant noise from the computer makes me nuts too. I wish I could meet the people who developed this thing called the internet, I have a few things to say to him. Oh, wait! I use it a lot too. My bad! LOL

Well there is a program called SPECTOR PRO which costs 99 dollars which I installed on my computer that screen shots and records every single IM conversation, email, myspace vist and website visit as well as everything looked at. You can check behind anyone using the program by pushing a series of 5 keys then a secret screen pops up and then you enter a password and a control panel pops up and you can fast foward through site visits and go directly to all outgoing emails.

Word of warning, I caught my husband using this and I ended up with a broken laptop. I have not seen any email exchanges but there were other things that upset me. He broke the laptop. I have since reinstalled it on the new one and ( I had bought a back up cd which I recommend highly) If hes not doing anything, you are relieved. If he is, you are going to find out more than you EVER wanted to know. Especially if there is chatting going on because it records all IM conversations from messengers. You have to be very stealth and then record over a week. Once you find out everything, you can either confront, or not confront or figure out from there what you will do.

I dont regret installing the program because I really needed to know where I stood. He still doesnt know exactly how I catch him because this program is so stealth, it has no file, no identifiers ANYTHING. You can do things with it you couldnt imagine. I can also see what my 13 year old does online as well.

I think that for each their own but if I was having SERIOUS doubts, I wouldnt mine a program. If you are unaware of things and a 6 hour a day session on the internet is making you feel insecure, I think this could clear alot of things up. I know for sure without it I wouldnt have had a clue.

Personally, I have not come to a decision about what I am doing about staying in my marriage or leaving but I will say that knowing what was going on behind my back has helped somewhat in perception and not thinking I am overreacting. I was pissed for a reason

I don't have any suspisions at all but if I did I doubt this would help find whatever it was I was worried about since everything would be in arabic!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

My husband is online watching 3arabtv from the time his eyes open until he falls asleep. We don't have tv at home, because the constant noise makes me just crazy. So, yes, the constant noise from the computer makes me nuts too. I wish I could meet the people who developed this thing called the internet, I have a few things to say to him. Oh, wait! I use it a lot too. My bad! LOL

Well there is a program called SPECTOR PRO which costs 99 dollars which I installed on my computer that screen shots and records every single IM conversation, email, myspace vist and website visit as well as everything looked at. You can check behind anyone using the program by pushing a series of 5 keys then a secret screen pops up and then you enter a password and a control panel pops up and you can fast foward through site visits and go directly to all outgoing emails.

Word of warning, I caught my husband using this and I ended up with a broken laptop. I have not seen any email exchanges but there were other things that upset me. He broke the laptop. I have since reinstalled it on the new one and ( I had bought a back up cd which I recommend highly) If hes not doing anything, you are relieved. If he is, you are going to find out more than you EVER wanted to know. Especially if there is chatting going on because it records all IM conversations from messengers. You have to be very stealth and then record over a week. Once you find out everything, you can either confront, or not confront or figure out from there what you will do.

I dont regret installing the program because I really needed to know where I stood. He still doesnt know exactly how I catch him because this program is so stealth, it has no file, no identifiers ANYTHING. You can do things with it you couldnt imagine. I can also see what my 13 year old does online as well.

I think that for each their own but if I was having SERIOUS doubts, I wouldnt mine a program. If you are unaware of things and a 6 hour a day session on the internet is making you feel insecure, I think this could clear alot of things up. I know for sure without it I wouldnt have had a clue.

Personally, I have not come to a decision about what I am doing about staying in my marriage or leaving but I will say that knowing what was going on behind my back has helped somewhat in perception and not thinking I am overreacting. I was pissed for a reason

I don't have any suspisions at all but if I did I doubt this would help find whatever it was I was worried about since everything would be in arabic!

Not if( like some discussions I have seen on this board over the last year and a half) hes trying to hook up stateside or is carrying on online relations with women in Europe or Canada that you do not know about OR worse hes fixing his situation to exit the relationship ( seen this as well........) Much of this correspondance will be in English. For you specifically it may not be. For me it WAS an issue and its a good software program to know about

[Martiniolive 0]

are you saying you have evidence because of the spector program that your hubby is conspiring to hook up with someone in canada or europe of? I would have a heart attack! Did you suspect this stuff going on before you got the spector program? OMG.. what were the clues??????

My husband is online watching 3arabtv from the time his eyes open until he falls asleep. We don't have tv at home, because the constant noise makes me just crazy. So, yes, the constant noise from the computer makes me nuts too. I wish I could meet the people who developed this thing called the internet, I have a few things to say to him. Oh, wait! I use it a lot too. My bad! LOL

Well there is a program called SPECTOR PRO which costs 99 dollars which I installed on my computer that screen shots and records every single IM conversation, email, myspace vist and website visit as well as everything looked at. You can check behind anyone using the program by pushing a series of 5 keys then a secret screen pops up and then you enter a password and a control panel pops up and you can fast foward through site visits and go directly to all outgoing emails.

Word of warning, I caught my husband using this and I ended up with a broken laptop. I have not seen any email exchanges but there were other things that upset me. He broke the laptop. I have since reinstalled it on the new one and ( I had bought a back up cd which I recommend highly) If hes not doing anything, you are relieved. If he is, you are going to find out more than you EVER wanted to know. Especially if there is chatting going on because it records all IM conversations from messengers. You have to be very stealth and then record over a week. Once you find out everything, you can either confront, or not confront or figure out from there what you will do.

I dont regret installing the program because I really needed to know where I stood. He still doesnt know exactly how I catch him because this program is so stealth, it has no file, no identifiers ANYTHING. You can do things with it you couldnt imagine. I can also see what my 13 year old does online as well.

I think that for each their own but if I was having SERIOUS doubts, I wouldnt mine a program. If you are unaware of things and a 6 hour a day session on the internet is making you feel insecure, I think this could clear alot of things up. I know for sure without it I wouldnt have had a clue.

Personally, I have not come to a decision about what I am doing about staying in my marriage or leaving but I will say that knowing what was going on behind my back has helped somewhat in perception and not thinking I am overreacting. I was pissed for a reason

I don't have any suspisions at all but if I did I doubt this would help find whatever it was I was worried about since everything would be in arabic!

Not if( like some discussions I have seen on this board over the last year and a half) hes trying to hook up stateside or is carrying on online relations with women in Europe or Canada that you do not know about OR worse hes fixing his situation to exit the relationship ( seen this as well........) Much of this correspondance will be in English. For you specifically it may not be. For me it WAS an issue and its a good software program to know about

[Nasturtium 500]

how old are your twins? regardless, 3-5 hours on the computer, plus 2+ hours on the phone is ridiculous and downright rude and negligent when there's children to be taken care of. there's no reason whatsoever for you to be getting tired out taking care of them because he's on the computer.

I totally agree.

[jenmoh 0]

My husband hardly comes online and if he does it is for a few minutes. He does not like talking on the phone. However, I am sure when we go to the USA he will have to be on the phone for a bit since his mom has to know every little detail. I have found being in Jordan that Arabs are more of a social group then Americans. You(general) have to remember they(MENA) come from cultures where family and friends are coming everyday and a lot of time is spent socializing.

[anxious 0]

Really! I never heard of MENA so into the net, phones, etc before.

Rachid gets online....maybe....maybe....3 times a year. And is on the phone

only when he has to maybe using 200 minutes a month. He doesn't understand my need to talk to my family everyday.

I assumed alot of other MENA men were similar.

So what in the world are they talking about all day like that? Do they work?

Have any friends?

Im stunned, and would be pissed if he was chatting online or on the phone ignoring me, and I

definitely would get suspicious.

I wonder if they stayed in cybercafes all day in their native country?

Like, are they talking to men....all day like that?

Men talking to other men hours a day or even to their family alllll day???

I dont buy it.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

sofyan works from 6am til 4pm, then has the baby til 830pm when i get off work, so the answer is no, he checks his myspace and email a few times a week, but no chatting, and sunday is the day he would call back home...sunday morning, with a ONE hour calling card, more than that would seem very excessive to me

[ayesha4akram 0]

When my husband first got here, if he didn't go online, he would make/receive phone calls almost everyday. About a month later, he would go online fewer times (3 times a week to talk to family, although he does go online everyday to read the news there). Now he talks to his family on fridays only, unless they call him and ask him to come online for whatever reason.

It wouldn't bother me if he did talk to his family everyday, cause I probably would if the situation were reversed.

[caybee 21]

Really! I never heard of MENA so into the net, phones, etc before.

Rachid gets online....maybe....maybe....3 times a year. And is on the phone

only when he has to maybe using 200 minutes a month. He doesn't understand my need to talk to my family everyday.

I assumed alot of other MENA men were similar.

So what in the world are they talking about all day like that? Do they work?

Have any friends?

Im stunned, and would be pissed if he was chatting online or on the phone ignoring me, and I

definitely would get suspicious.

I wonder if they stayed in cybercafes all day in their native country?

Like, are they talking to men....all day like that?

Men talking to other men hours a day or even to their family alllll day???

I dont buy it.

Personally, I think if this goes on every day for weeks or months and the spouse or household responsibilities are being neglected because of it, there's a problem. But yeah, my husband is certainly capable of talking to family and male friends for several hours at a time, although this doesn't happen often. I've seen him do it plenty of times, and I've seen it pull him out of a blue funk when the adjustment has been especially difficult. My family and female friends are here in person, and I can spend hours at a time visiting with them once in a while, so to me it's no different if my husband does the same on voice and cam. He needs to catch up on family news or to chat with the guy who grew up a block away from him and understands things I don't 'cause I'm not male and I'm not Moroccan. I believe his Internet access has made all the difference in the world in the ease of his adjustment. OTOH, if I spent five or six hours a day, every day, in person with my family or female friends, that would be too much, and it would be no different if he did the same by phone or Internet.