Would you live in MENA if you had to?

[Henia 11]

I lived there almost a year total, and I always knew it was a possibility. There are nice things about the country but nice for vacationing. I would never want to live there unless I was filthy rich and able to pretend it was somewhere else. There is too much wrong with that country which would make it risky and dangerous for me to live there, although I would have done it if I had no choice, but probably been depressed the rest of my life. In the end, we would live together wherever, but we are more happy here.

Yes, yes and yes.

It's easy to say "Yes!" if you've only visited and vacationed there. Living and visiting/vacationing are two very different things. The idealistic vision we all have of living in another country is different from the reality...that's not to say it's good or bad, but you don't really understand that until you do it.

You hit the nail on the head on what I wanted to say. Personally, I live here but living here is much much different then any of my visits. For right now, even with its ups and downs living here is good ... what I want to do! But I think if I were "tied" here then no-way would be easy with that thought.

Things that have happened to us since our visa ... I guess were some way from the God to show us that living in the US (right now) would not be a good idea. I know if we did use that visa, right now we would be up ####'s creek in problems ... probably hating each other and well on our way to divorcing. But I say thanks, that (for now) we did not use the visa.

And living here, for the best parts I have chance to work (make money) even being pregnant and bed-riden ... not much money but tutoring children is enjoyable and does bring in little pocket money. After I will see ... plus living 5m from the Mediteranrean is a real dream ... being in country where the moral standard is higher and I really have no fears raising my children here! Plus, Europe is only a ferry away (when we have the money) ... plus the most important my stress is gone here! I am not a mad woman! LOL!

[*Maureen* 0]

I lived there almost a year total, and I always knew it was a possibility. There are nice things about the country but nice for vacationing. I would never want to live there unless I was filthy rich and able to pretend it was somewhere else. There is too much wrong with that country which would make it risky and dangerous for me to live there, although I would have done it if I had no choice, but probably been depressed the rest of my life. In the end, we would live together wherever, but we are more happy here.

Yes, yes and yes.

It's easy to say "Yes!" if you've only visited and vacationed there. Living and visiting/vacationing are two very different things. The idealistic vision we all have of living in another country is different from the reality...that's not to say it's good or bad, but you don't really understand that until you do it.

You hit the nail on the head on what I wanted to say. Personally, I live here but living here is much much different then any of my visits. For right now, even with its ups and downs living here is good ... what I want to do! But I think if I were "tied" here then no-way would be easy with that thought.

Things that have happened to us since our visa ... I guess were some way from the God to show us that living in the US (right now) would not be a good idea. I know if we did use that visa, right now we would be up ####'s creek in problems ... probably hating each other and well on our way to divorcing. But I say thanks, that (for now) we did not use the visa.

And living here, for the best parts I have chance to work (make money) even being pregnant and bed-riden ... not much money but tutoring children is enjoyable and does bring in little pocket money. After I will see ... plus living 5m from the Mediteranrean is a real dream ... being in country where the moral standard is higher and I really have no fears raising my children here! Plus, Europe is only a ferry away (when we have the money) ... plus the most important my stress is gone here! I am not a mad woman! LOL!

Henia, how long have you been living over there?

[Aymsgirl 0]

It is in our plan after both of my children from my first marriage graduate High School. Which my son is only going to be 9 so maybe you would call it our 10 year plan. I want our son to learn his other culture and roots. I would have stipulations to living there though that my husband and I have discussed already. I feel that he sacrificed for me and in return if we both feel the need to move in the future I can do this for him. I just want want to be able to come home and visit my family and friends.

[nunyab 0]

It is in our plan after both of my children from my first marriage graduate High School. Which my son is only going to be 9 so maybe you would call it our 10 year plan. I want our son to learn his other culture and roots. I would have stipulations to living there though that my husband and I have discussed already. I feel that he sacrificed for me and in return if we both feel the need to move in the future I can do this for him. I just want want to be able to come home and visit my family and friends.

[doodlebugg 10]

not in the dead heat of summer no way no how. Maybe 1/2 year there in the fall/winter months and 1/2 year here.

[anxious 0]

I would love to live in Morocco.. with the understanding that the money has to be right.

I can't "rough" it with my kids.

It is in our 5 year plan though. I atleast wanted at a minimum to take the whole

family over there for 1-2 yrs. so we can all pick up the language.

Right now my 10mos. old is picking up on alot of the Arabic commands that

my husband gives. I can't imagine not being able to communicate with him in Arabic

and I am the type of person that needs to live in a Arab speaking country to fully absorb the lingo.

[Sandrila 1]

I certainly find myself asking this question.

My husband and I have discussed it thoroughly and after spending nearly 4 months there on/off

I think there is no other alternative but for us to live here in the good ol US of A.

First of all..I am not, by any means, a well off American. I am lucky to get my bills met every month

and immigration and lawyer costs, travel and basic means of communicating and supporting each other are

not allowing us to get ahead.

I am sure you all know how MOST of our husbands live there.

Being poor in USA and being poor in a 3rd world country...very different way of living.

There is no work for me to be had there...so if he cant find work and I have no work, how can we live?

You either have money or you have nothing there.

Could I, personally, live there and be happy. YES. I would love that opportunity but not living there as he lives there.

You need money. For everything. To have your place...to enjoy, eat, move around...do things...think if you didnt have a dollar in your pocket here, in our own country, for weeks, even months on end...and we all know that you cant really survive on love alone. We all know that money doesnt grow on trees. Lack of money can, and will, break down a relationship.

Kids...my kids are here and they are not young enough to "get used" to life there.

The pollution, language barrier, separation from family, distaste for the food and preconceived ideas of his country and life there would certainly compell me NOT to take them away from their comfortable safe existence here.

I cant force that on them nor can I choose between my husband and my kids.

As it stands..we are waiting. We both know what is best. HERE, no question. When I am there do I miss the comforts, luxuries and conveniences of my pampered American life? YES I do. Can I endure and enjoy a temporary life there with my husband?? I EMBRACE IT...but to burn all bridges of us coming here after working this hard..seems stupid.

I miss him. I truly cant live without him. I worry about him so much. I am living to see the day that he can be freed from the oppression he has endured all of his life. I cant imagine having to live the way he has past and present.

I pray to GOD that he will give us the chance to start our new life together and free us both from this uncertainty.

I love the food, music, culture, landscape and way of life of this place but unless I come into a windfall of money to support us there indefinitely, unless my kids are grown, unless he is given a nice job opportunity there to support us and my kids back home...Living in Morocco would not be a wise choice at all.

Things always look one way when you are just a visitor looking from the outside in but when are a resident looking from the inside out...

[Henia 11]

I lived there almost a year total, and I always knew it was a possibility. There are nice things about the country but nice for vacationing. I would never want to live there unless I was filthy rich and able to pretend it was somewhere else. There is too much wrong with that country which would make it risky and dangerous for me to live there, although I would have done it if I had no choice, but probably been depressed the rest of my life. In the end, we would live together wherever, but we are more happy here.

Yes, yes and yes.

It's easy to say "Yes!" if you've only visited and vacationed there. Living and visiting/vacationing are two very different things. The idealistic vision we all have of living in another country is different from the reality...that's not to say it's good or bad, but you don't really understand that until you do it.

You hit the nail on the head on what I wanted to say. Personally, I live here but living here is much much different then any of my visits. For right now, even with its ups and downs living here is good ... what I want to do! But I think if I were "tied" here then no-way would be easy with that thought.

Things that have happened to us since our visa ... I guess were some way from the God to show us that living in the US (right now) would not be a good idea. I know if we did use that visa, right now we would be up ####'s creek in problems ... probably hating each other and well on our way to divorcing. But I say thanks, that (for now) we did not use the visa.

And living here, for the best parts I have chance to work (make money) even being pregnant and bed-riden ... not much money but tutoring children is enjoyable and does bring in little pocket money. After I will see ... plus living 5m from the Mediteranrean is a real dream ... being in country where the moral standard is higher and I really have no fears raising my children here! Plus, Europe is only a ferry away (when we have the money) ... plus the most important my stress is gone here! I am not a mad woman! LOL!

Henia, how long have you been living over there?

Most of 2 years. Got the approval early on this year ...

[Henia 11]

It is in our plan after both of my children from my first marriage graduate High School. Which my son is only going to be 9 so maybe you would call it our 10 year plan. I want our son to learn his other culture and roots. I would have stipulations to living there though that my husband and I have discussed already. I feel that he sacrificed for me and in return if we both feel the need to move in the future I can do this for him. I just want want to be able to come home and visit my family and friends.

Amysgirl makes a good point ... about children from previous relationships. I have daughter from previous marriage. 8 years old. I brought her with me last year ... and has stayed ever since. How does everyone feel about their children (from previous relationship) moving to MENA too?

[amal 4]

My son is a huge reason I haven't considered making an extended visit there. He's 9 and I don't know how well he would adjust there.

How has your child adapted at 8 years old? You've been there 2 years so she was 6 when you went there? Slightly younger than my son so her adjustment may have been easier than I feel my sons would be. Has she learned the language? What have you done about school?

I told my husband a while back that I really want to go there for a month or 2 eventually. I'm on the fence as to wether I wanna bring my son with us or not.

[Nutty 2]

Yes. I would live in Iran.

The USA has a lot of wonderful things about it (great food, great entertainment, freedom). But life here is also stressful and demanding.

So I would not be opposed to giving Iran a second shot. Maybe instead of living in Kerman Iran (the middle of nowhere and considered even by other Iranians as a "crappy place to live") living in the north of Iran would be better for us.

I know I could make good money teaching American English.

[rclouse 0]

Morocco is a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there. Especially someplace like Marrakech, the noise and the traffic and the crazy hectic lifestyle. Plus with our son and daughter on-the-way, raising them in that environment is just plain dangerous. I'd feel extremely uncomfortable every time they'd go outside to play near a street.

[Henia 11]

My son is a huge reason I haven't considered making an extended visit there. He's 9 and I don't know how well he would adjust there.

How has your child adapted at 8 years old? You've been there 2 years so she was 6 when you went there? Slightly younger than my son so her adjustment may have been easier than I feel my sons would be. Has she learned the language? What have you done about school?

I told my husband a while back that I really want to go there for a month or 2 eventually. I'm on the fence as to wether I wanna bring my son with us or not.

She was 7 when we came here ... starting public school 3 rd grade. I would have started her out in lower level but the school officals said that was impossible due to overcrowding in the schools. I have almost regretted not putting her in the French state run school ... but without car the 2 hour 2x daily commute would be hell!

She is learning the local dialect derja ... classical arabic and french. Mach'Allah doing well but still not at level. I have hired 2 tutors ... but not much process with them!

As far as her upbringing I feel it is better here. She is free to play outside, something not allowed due to safety back in the US. I can leave her with my in-laws/neihbours without problem ... not like in the US. And she is with me ... not liek in the US where she was in daycare since birth particularly!

Once we get over the school issue ... everything wil be great!

[morocco4ever 63]

This was a real issue of our discussions once he was denied. He wanted to give up on the visa and me to move there. Then he was going to try to get a work visa in Italy. Well I am a little stubborn and insisted that we wait out the visa process. If he had a complete denial that would have been our last resort, and yes I would have.

On the other hand, now that he is here, the plans are to work here until retirement. Then we can move there. We should have enough resources to come and go as we please so I can still visit my family. It does scare me however.

[amal 4]

Thx for ur input Henia. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine that had taken her 9 year old to Jordan for just over a year. She said that he left here in the 3rd grade and when they came back to the USA he tested at 3rd grade level again so he had to repeat the 3rd grade and had to work hard to get up to level again. My son has issues in school as it is and I surely don't want him to be set back any due to a country relocation. *sigh* difficulties difficulties...