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Nessa

Life/Death choices

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Life Choices  

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  1. 1. Would you choose your unborn child's life over yours (your wife), if one of you had to die to save the other?

    • Female, USC, no
      19
    • Female, beneficiary, no
      20
    • Female, USC, yes
      6
    • Female, beneficiary, yes
      5
    • Male, USC, no
      8
    • Male, beneficiary, no
      0
    • Male, USC, yes
      0
    • Male, beneficiary, yes
      2
  2. 2. Abortion - against or in favor

    • Male, USC and pro-choice
      6
    • Male, foreign and pro-choice
      1
    • Male, USC and pro-life
      2
    • Male, foreign and pro-life
      1
    • Female, USC and pro-choice
      19
    • Female, foreign and pro-choice
      19
    • Female, USC and pro-life
      5
    • Female, foreign and pro-life
      4
    • Male, USC - I don't have an opinion about this/don't care
      0
    • Male, beneficiary - I don't have an opinion about this/don't care
      0
    • Female, USC - I don't have an opinion about this/don't care
      2
    • Female, beneficiary - I don't have an opinion about this/don't care
      1
  3. 3. In which cases would you abort your child, if you found out they had a disease/disorder detectable during pregnancy - see links below and choose all that apply

    • I would never have an abortion, no matter what
      19
    • Down Syndrome
      28
    • 22q11.2 Deletion Syndrome
      26
    • Cystic Fibrosis
      25
    • Turner Syndrome
      25
    • Spina Bifida
      25
    • Cleft Palate
      17
    • Tay Sachs Disease
      29
    • Sickle Cell Anemia
      22
    • Fragile x Syndrome
      24
    • Other disease/disorder - explain
      19


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Filed: Timeline

I bet it's depressing. And I'm happy right now coz I just saw titties on TV. Wouldn't wanna ruin the mood.

In all seriousness, I've been to the local school for kids with developmental disorders - lots of Downs. Pretty depressing.

Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.

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Filed: Other Country: India
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That is such a hard decision, I can't imagine. It wouldn't be easy to decide that but I feel the baby's life should be spared.

Female USC, pro-life

I couldn't with a clear conscious terminate any pregnancy. I would have to leave it up to God about the baby's life. I don't believe an embryo or fetus is just a part of my body as if I have total control over it. If it was just the "woman's body", as is one of the main arguments for abortion rights that a woman should decide what to do with her own body, then why is it the woman's body that has to change behavior and adapt to grow a baby. It's not good if you do drugs or smoke or don't take care of yourself while you are pregnant because it effects that separate entity that is growing in you. Why wouldn't the "thing", if people don't want to accept it's a separate life, in the mom just adapt and go with the flow if it was just part of the woman's body. I just can't accept that it's the woman's own body she is deciding about. Her reproductive organs are hers, but once an egg is fertilized I don't believe it's part of the woman's body like another organ. It is a separate entity needing the mother's body to help it grow into a baby.

BTW I know a boy who is 12 who was born with a cleft palate and was adopted by close friends of ours, he is perfectly fine. He had to go through a lot of surgeries but he is a happy kid.

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Filed: Country: Jamaica
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If I were pregnant and one of us had to die to save the other, I would choose to abort. At this point, I have a husband, an ex-husband suffering from cancer, children, and aging parents who need me.

Otherwise, I do not belive in abortion for myself and would not abort for any physical affliction the child may have.

However, I belive people need to do whatever is right for them in this situation.

My 16 year old SIL just faced this issue and chose an abortion. I supported her fully.

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Filed: Country: Philippines
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I would abort for all of those diseases. If you've ever had someone in your family that was as severely disabled as my brother was then you would understand. He was 3 months premature and made it. Then, when he was about 1 month old he got spinal meningitis. I don't know all of the details but I do know he is the smallest baby to ever survive the condition he had. They said he wouldn't live past age 3. When he made it to 3 they said 5. When he made it to 5 they said 9. When he made it to 9 they stopped saying. The doctors were so amazed he was still alive they stopping trying to predict how long he would be around. They said it was due to his great care at home that he was able to live so long. He couldn't walk or talk. He could make noises but only as basic as a baby. He couldn't control his body temp so he had to take special medications. He had seizures almost daily even though he didn't have epilepsy. He had to take growth hormone to grow because his gland didn't work properly. They had to stop giving him the growth hormones when he was 7 because he was getting too big for people to properly take care of him. He finally passed away at age 12 from aspiration pneumonia. I wouldn't want any child to have to go through anything even close to any of that EVER. If I knew ahead of time that a baby had a disease I would abort.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Turkey
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i find it interesting the amount of people that would have anm abortion if they found out their kid had one of those diseases, specially the ones that are operable, like cleft lip or palate. Deny a child the right to be born because of that is just plain mean.

Agree. Moreover, individuals born with down syndrome can now live rather long and happy lives and they are a joy to be around. Simply because someone experiences the world in a different way doesn't mean that they can't enjoy and get something out of life.

The only disease I checked was Tay Sachs Disease as it is almost always fatal within the first several years of life and seems to entail a great deal of pain and suffering for both the child and his/her parents. It would be difficult to have an abortion, but I think it would be more difficult to a child that would slowly die a painful death over the course of the next year or several years :(

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Hong Kong
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Male USC; If it were between my wife and her unborn child, there's no question for me, I'd have to choose Lai. It would be very painful to lose a child, but I couldn't bear losing Lai, especially if there were something that could be done to prevent it.

I'm pro-life, but I'd say not in an absolute sense.

As for what I'd do in the case of a serious birth defect, I honestly don't know...it would certainly depend on the prognosis; how much the child would suffer, and for how long. I don't know how I'd handle having a child with a severe mental handicap.... I spent three years working at a day program for severely-to-profoundly retarded adults; I don't think handle that for a lifetime. That's part of why we've decided not to have children; the risk of defects goes up precipitously after 40. I do have a lot of compassion for people who make the painful decision to terminate because of diagnosed genetic disorders.

I will say, though, I have a good friend who has the worst kind of Spina Bifida. He wasn't supposed to survive; he had an emergency baptism I think within an hour of being born because they didn't think he'd make it through the first day. Now nearing the middle of his fifth decade, he does have some associated health troubles from time to time, and he walks with special shoes and leg braces, occasionally using a cane, but otherwise he is doing well. He's brilliant, good-natured, and a wonderful person. It would have been tragic if the decision had been made to deny him the chance to live.

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I would choose the baby over myself and I could not in good conscience abort a baby. However, I am pro-choice; other people's decisions are not my own and it's better to have safe abortions available rather than having women receive illegal abortions.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
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I compleatly agree with you Nessa!!!... Beside cleft palate it's a preventable disease, the mothe just have to have good prenatal care

It has nothing to do with prenatal care. In my husband's case it was genetic...his father, grandfather and great grandfather all had clefts.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
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As a mother that lost a child with Trisomy 18, no NEVER would I consider abortion. I was high risk going into the pregnancy. I knew that and it was my choice. I had everything thrown at me on how my baby would die in utereo, and how if my baby lived, she probably wouldn't live past the age of 1. My thoughts were I was given this child for a reason. What did I do? I had a healthy pregnancy and delievered 3 months early. No extra measures were taken, but my family and I got to spend the most precious 180 minutes with our daughter. Would I change anything? Not at all.

My son is autistic and while things are challanging I love him to death. Parenting isn't easy regardless and abortion seems to be a way out.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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bump. this thread needs more votes!



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I voted other on the last question because I really don't know what I would do under those circumstances. I think I would have to be going through it to know.

Refusing to use the spellchick!

I have put you on ignore. No really, I have, but you are still ruining my enjoyment of this site. .

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Jordan
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I compleatly agree with you Nessa!!!... Beside cleft palate it's a preventable disease, the mothe just have to have good prenatal care

No no NO! It is nothing to do with good pre-natal care! It's nothing to do with what the mother does during the pregnancy. It's just a simple malformation of the palate - usually occurring in the first trimester and isn't preventable - if it's going to happen, it's going to happen.

Seriously, think before you post. ;)

I think maybe she was thinking of the spina bifida and folic acid connection.

Me-- USCF- I would want to die. Now I am pretty sure Ammar would choose me as he has said in the past... but when I was awake I'd be really ticked off. Pro-life. Not for anything.

None of my posts have ever been helpful. Be forewarned.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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before I would of said save the baby they have their whole life and I lived a long enough its their turn. But now I have 4 kids to think about if I die they would be seperated from not only their mother but their new baby brother or sister and also there step father cause they would have to move back to Canada to live with their useless father. They would never again see there sibling or their step father who does love them more then their own father. That is what being a parent is making hard choices based on all the family

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