The role of MENA visajourney in decision making

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Well,

Hey everyone. I wanted to bring this subject up because I maybe have turned more to visa journey for advice , emotional support and help with decision making in the last couple of months than I have ever imagined I would. I have appreciated the varying opinions and feed back as to how to handle certain problems that came up, both in the visa process and adjustment process after.

I wonder how many others really consult on here as to how to handle things?

I feel that only the American women on here can possibly relate to all the off the wall things I have had to deal with with him getting here and things coming up and problems arising. I think most of the hardest things come when they get here.. not in the process. Thats controllable. You can turn off the pc or the phone . But when someones already here you have to deal

Has VJ mena helped you make hard choices or is it more for fun or how do you view the boards?

[Henia 11]

VJ when I first found it ... so so much info that helped my case. And found alot of great people here ... who have been there from day 1! Vj did not help with my decision to stay ... other issues played into it buuuuuuuut still finding so much support from the info on here, just talking/reading posts and the people from here! But living here, I now come across so many people going throu INS ... I can send them here for info or try to "advise" them from my experience or what I have read.

Edited August 8, 2008 by Henia

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

VJ when I first found it ... so so much info that helped my case. And found alot of great people here ... who have been there from day 1! Vj did not help with my decision to stay ... other issues played into it buuuuuuuut still finding so much support from the info on here, just talking/reading posts and the people from here! But living here, I now come across so many people going throu INS ... I can send them here for info or try to "advise" them from my experience or what I have read.

Well there were SO MANY THINGS that I got from the forums like watching out for changing forms and then knowing how and when to contact the embassy and what I should do and not do. My lawyer was really amazing but he didnt even know all the things to watch for. I know people who married before me and applied before me from North Africa who STILL DONT HAVE THEIR HUSBANDS here and this has been well over a year and half and this has nothing to do with ap. Like some forms dont tell you what to write , like you need to write PRESENT instead of todays date on one line.

I got alot of ideas for recording information. :Like SKYPE if you charge it with money and use it to call instead of a phone card keeps a permanent record of all phone calls. Or use your home phone one time a week to show different types of communication. Or send cards or letters. Or have someone send you cards or letters so you have all your different proofs. I learned alot about other countries AP times so if I have met someone in person , I was able to talk reasonably intelligently about what cos were looking for although some cases defy all the odds.

All in all my relationship has been a roller coaster fraught with disaster but last night I discovered my husband adores grilled cheese sandwiches, just like me. And it was a moment. I could not have done this with out Vj. I dont know if we will make it but I do know that everything would have been a total mess without VJ. I am very very very grateful for these forums . PERIOD

[Henia 11]

I am very very very grateful for these forums . PERIOD

Here here! Me too!

[mimiiw 0]

Yes this site has helped me immensely despite the fact that I am not an American (Canadian) and the administration process regarding Spousal immigration isn’t quite the same; but I read faithfully all the time. I feel that this site has helped me deal with issues that I might not possibly have considered; as far as cultural aspects of marriage to a MENA man because regardless of how much I do try to understand; learn, and absorb about his culture –there are always surprises and unexpected situations that keep coming up time and time again.

Purely innocent phrases or actions; or aspects of behavior that for us here brought up in North America –things that we take for granted –that can be so easily misinterpreted by our spouses (and believe me I have committed so many innocent faux pas much to my regret). At least by reading this site and seeing how others deal with different situations; I feel it has really helped me emotionally, mentally, and intellectually in one way or another.

For this I am really grateful to say the least. Just seeing that others are or have been in similar situations makes me realize that we share a very special sisterhood despite the fact that most of us will never meet in person

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I am very very very grateful for these forums . PERIOD

Here here! Me too!

see you monday Henia//

[brnidokiegurl 0]

In the beginning it is good to have everyone to ask about the forms, problems etc but what i find is in the many talks you hear things that cause others problems and this helps to alert hey we need talk about this before he comes...and we have many times...one couple cant compare to another but some things come close in nature. But as for major decisions no i feel that is alot of the problems we have so many opinions flying (me to) and in the end that is all they are is opinions because the person has to be responsible for their own choices no matter what others say.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Well,

Hey everyone. I wanted to bring this subject up because I maybe have turned more to visa journey for advice , emotional support and help with decision making in the last couple of months than I have ever imagined I would. I have appreciated the varying opinions and feed back as to how to handle certain problems that came up, both in the visa process and adjustment process after.

I wonder how many others really consult on here as to how to handle things?

I feel that only the American women on here can possibly relate to all the off the wall things I have had to deal with with him getting here and things coming up and problems arising. I think most of the hardest things come when they get here.. not in the process. Thats controllable. You can turn off the pc or the phone . But when someones already here you have to deal

Has VJ mena helped you make hard choices or is it more for fun or how do you view the boards?

[Ban Hammer 13,498]

Has VJ mena helped you make hard choices or is it more for fun or how do you view the boards?

yes, i had to make the hard choice of being friends with brnidgurl. she's soooo mean

[brnidokiegurl 0]

yes charles but u will miss me when im gone

[morocco4ever 63]

When I first joined is when we got denied. I didn't know where to turn. We had people try to tell us it was just normal AP and to wait it out. So I got some really wrong advice. On the other hand, after months of searching I found Chi. She really made a difference in our process. So as long as you have knowledgeable advice this forum is great. As far as personal problems, well I have plenty of support at home, and I don't need to air anything in a forum. On the other hand, if this is all a person has then at is better than nothing.

So now he is here, and he has the 10 year green card. He still needs his citizenship but in the most part he is done. So why do I come here? Well at times I don't have enough work, or perhaps nothing else going on. So I guess in some ways it is for amusement, but then again when I see something that reeks of denial I want to be able to help them so they won't feel as lost as I was. I can't even begin to tell you how I felt when that happened. It is by far the worst thing I have ever gone through, I thought I was going to have to move there, and I am not ready to move to another country at this point in my life. Maybe after retirement, but not now.

[maggieNomar 0]

VJ initially was a big help in preparing for the interview. I had already filed paperwork with an atty when I stumbled upon VJ looking for interview questions. I found MENA somehow and it turned out to be a Godsend in that the paperwork listed to bring (both on VJs general list and what my atty said) he changed. But only those that were currently going through interviews in Casa knew about the changes. I was able to get my fiance to get this additional paperwork so he didn't have to go back. I"m sure the help/advice I got at the time saved us a lot of wait time.

Now I hang around to help out if I feel I can (Brnid was my first project ) and make sure Charles! stays in line. but mostly because you people are pretty cool to hang with.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

VJ initially was a big help in preparing for the interview. I had already filed paperwork with an atty when I stumbled upon VJ looking for interview questions. I found MENA somehow and it turned out to be a Godsend in that the paperwork listed to bring (both on VJs general list and what my atty said) he changed. But only those that were currently going through interviews in Casa knew about the changes. I was able to get my fiance to get this additional paperwork so he didn't have to go back. I"m sure the help/advice I got at the time saved us a lot of wait time.

Now I hang around to help out if I feel I can (Brnid was my first project ) and make sure Charles! stays in line. but mostly because you people are pretty cool to hang with.

what can i say we tried and still trying

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I first joined after all my paperwork was sent off. Wish I'd found it before when I was assembling that frustrating mess and feeling like a spread eagle with all my personal information.

The discussions threads had me sometimes thinking, "Oh thank God it's not just me their SO's are like that too." It's been enlightening reading the various threads and learning about the other MENA countries and customs and culture.

I've found people here that understand what I'm going through unlike anywhere else that I could find. Some of the people here have become my friends for life and those friends I make my family.

Edited August 9, 2008 by Olivia*

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Brnid is my project now