divorcing:(

[NonyGuy 0]

Well...things just aren't working out. It's been a constant strand of fights, about 2-3 per week, since my wife arrived in the USA. I just don't know what happened. I had such high hopes and I was CERTAIN my life was going to be perfect. And now I'm ready for divorce...

Just a couple questions....

I'm planning on having my wife go back to Thailand AFTER she receives her advance parole. That way, she can at least come back if we feel we made a mistake and want to try it again. Is this a really bad idea?

Can she file for divorce in THAI courts? (We were married in Virginia, USA) If she can, can the Thai courts award her all my money and would the US government enforce me paying her everything? How does all that work?

Once she is back in Thailand, can I file for divorce here in the US without her being here? How will I serve her papers if I don't even know her address in Thailand? She lives in a small village and I honestly doubt mail is even delivered there.

Can anyone help me out??

[pushbrk 13,073]

Well...things just aren't working out. It's been a constant strand of fights, about 2-3 per week, since my wife arrived in the USA. I just don't know what happened. I had such high hopes and I was CERTAIN my life was going to be perfect. And now I'm ready for divorce...

Just a couple questions....

I'm planning on having my wife go back to Thailand AFTER she receives her advance parole. That way, she can at least come back if we feel we made a mistake and want to try it again. Is this a really bad idea?

Can she file for divorce in THAI courts? (We were married in Virginia, USA) If she can, can the Thai courts award her all my money and would the US government enforce me paying her everything? How does all that work?

Once she is back in Thailand, can I file for divorce here in the US without her being here? How will I serve her papers if I don't even know her address in Thailand? She lives in a small village and I honestly doubt mail is even delivered there.

Can anyone help me out??

Thai courts can award what they award but a US court won't force you to pay on a Thai court judgment. Getting advance parole will allow what your propose but her returning to Thailand is up to her, not you.

Yes, you can file for divorce here, with or without her address.

My fatherly advice is to give your marraige some more time and effort before deciding to end it. Things can be tough in the beginning, even for successful marriages. Sometimes fights are a result of mutual immaturity, and the natural head butting that occurs when adjusting to life with a partner and in a new culture. Given a positive attitude and some give and take, things often settle down.

[baxxy 0]

Well...things just aren't working out. It's been a constant strand of fights, about 2-3 per week, since my wife arrived in the USA. I just don't know what happened. I had such high hopes and I was CERTAIN my life was going to be perfect. And now I'm ready for divorce...

Just a couple questions....

I'm planning on having my wife go back to Thailand AFTER she receives her advance parole. That way, she can at least come back if we feel we made a mistake and want to try it again. Is this a really bad idea?

Can she file for divorce in THAI courts? (We were married in Virginia, USA) If she can, can the Thai courts award her all my money and would the US government enforce me paying her everything? How does all that work?

Once she is back in Thailand, can I file for divorce here in the US without her being here? How will I serve her papers if I don't even know her address in Thailand? She lives in a small village and I honestly doubt mail is even delivered there.

Can anyone help me out??

You can divorce her here without having an address for her in Thai. How long have you guys been together, in person I mean, not including the LD beforehand.?

[NonyGuy 0]

we have been together since may of 2007, and we were married in April of this year. This marriage has been nothing but a struggle since she got here. Seems we loved each other more when we were on opposite sides of the world.

With this affidavit of support, do I have go really provide for her for ten years no matter what? She can basically freeload off me in US for ten years and not have to do anything for herself?

If she goes back to Thailand, and I file for divorce here....I don't have to prove to the US court that I served her papers?

Thank u all for your replies!!

[pushbrk 13,073]

we have been together since may of 2007, and we were married in April of this year. This marriage has been nothing but a struggle since she got here. Seems we loved each other more when we were on opposite sides of the world.

With this affidavit of support, do I have go really provide for her for ten years no matter what? She can basically freeload off me in US for ten years and not have to do anything for herself?

If she goes back to Thailand, and I file for divorce here....I don't have to prove to the US court that I served her papers?

Thank u all for your replies!!

Since her AOS is not yet approved, you may "withdraw" your affidavit of support, effectively killing her AOS process. Since she arrived on a K1 visa, she has no other way to obtain a green card except to accuse you of abuse. There are ways to serve her by publication. Check your state's divorce laws. I said you can do it, not that there wouldn't be issues to deal with.

If you're so sure your marriage is over, withdraw the affidavit of support and file for divorce now. Or, instead of simply waiting for the possibility your mind(s) will change, why not actually decide together to save the marriage or end it.

[NonyGuy 0]

we have been together since may of 2007, and we were married in April of this year. This marriage has been nothing but a struggle since she got here. Seems we loved each other more when we were on opposite sides of the world.

With this affidavit of support, do I have go really provide for her for ten years no matter what? She can basically freeload off me in US for ten years and not have to do anything for herself?

If she goes back to Thailand, and I file for divorce here....I don't have to prove to the US court that I served her papers?

Thank u all for your replies!!

Since her AOS is not yet approved, you may "withdraw" your affidavit of support, effectively killing her AOS process. Since she arrived on a K1 visa, she has no other way to obtain a green card except to accuse you of abuse. There are ways to serve her by publication. Check your state's divorce laws. I said you can do it, not that there wouldn't be issues to deal with.

If you're so sure your marriage is over, withdraw the affidavit of support and file for divorce now. Or, instead of simply waiting for the possibility your mind(s) will change, why not actually decide together to save the marriage or end it.

If I withdraw the AOS now, doesn't that mean she'll have to leave the US immediately and she will not be able to return without a visa? We both have agreed that we need to at least separate for awhile. We were hoping she could just get her Advance Parole or conditional green card, then return to Thailand for our "separation". If while we were apart we decided we wanted to try it again, she could return to the US easily...but if we wanted to just permanently end it, I could file for the divorce.

[Mononoke28 135]

I also agree that marriage is very, very difficult at the beginning especially if most of the courtship was long distance. But it can be resolved and with time things smooth out by themselves and with a little effort. Some people just don't want to deal with it and call it quits, others stick out for a while until things get better.

I hope things work out for the both of you, whether you stay together or not.

As for the divorce, yes, you can divorce her even if she's in her home country and even if she's not aware of you having filed for divorce. There are tricks lawyers pull for this, I've seen it happen twice already. So yes, it is possible.

Diana

[AlHayatZween 2]

So sorry to hear it's not working out, JCochran...

but it also sounds like you are not sure you two are looking to divorce.

Does she have any extended family or friends she could stay with here for a few weeks...? that way you two could separate and have that little extra emotional space you both might be needing... and then maybe you could arrive at a firmer decision?

Good luck,

hz

[NonyGuy 0]

So sorry to hear it's not working out, JCochran...

but it also sounds like you are not sure you two are looking to divorce.

Does she have any extended family or friends she could stay with here for a few weeks...? that way you two could separate and have that little extra emotional space you both might be needing... and then maybe you could arrive at a firmer decision?

Good luck,

hz

I really wish this were the case. She has absolutely NO ONE here in the states. Thailand is really her only option:(

[AlHayatZween 2]

So sorry to hear that...

i am sure you are thinking hard about it and weighing the good and the bad...

Whatever decision you make, i'm sure it will be for the best.

Good luck w/ everything,

hz

[baxxy 0]

we have been together since may of 2007, and we were married in April of this year. This marriage has been nothing but a struggle since she got here. Seems we loved each other more when we were on opposite sides of the world.

Sorry to hear that, but it happens with LOTS of couples who have a LD relationship. Like i've said before, you don't truly know someone unless you live with them.

[payxibka 10,047]

FWIW, as it relates to the I-864, as long as the alien is out of the country, the affidavit is unenforeceable. If while in country receives "means tested benefits", the US government could come to you for remuneration. The affidavit remains in effect until one of the triggers is met. If she never works and accumulates 40 qualifying quarters, becomes a USC, dies, you die or she leaves the country... it in theory could remain in effect indefinitely

Edited August 8, 2008 by fwaguy

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

I am sorry to hear that things are not working out for you and your wife. I just wish you could find ways to sort the differences.. If not then hope you would part ways as friends.. Best of luck!

[Thai family 0]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Have you read the book Thai fever? It is written for couples to read together. One side of the page is in Thai and the other is in English. There are totally different expectations and roles in Thai and Western cultures. It helps you to understand where each other are coming from. We got it from Amazon. My son devoured it. Of course not everything applies to everyone.

Thai Mom

-going on thirty years married to the love of my life

(no, I am not THAT old)