Any Doctor Will Tell You...

[Brad and Vika 129]

On my last trip to Russia, on the day I was heading back we stopped off at a grocery store to pick up some fruit I could munch on for the trip home. I picked out a couple apples, and she made me put them back. She said they were too big, called them "chemical apples," and said they were unhealthy. I think I remember someone else here whose fiancee/wife used the term "chemical" to describe abnormally large fruit also. She picked out 4 very small but super tasty apples instead.

I hear that all the time. Several years ago in Minsk, I remember shopping for pork cutlets at the central market. Cuts of meat were out in the center of a stadium sized room, on chilled counter tops. As my ex prepared the meal, I commented on the difference in sanitation and the look of the meat and produce. She laughed, saying that Americans were way too concerned with calories, carbohydrates, and the fat content of food, and the presentation. She said that the pork we bought today was a pig two days ago, and there were no dyes, steroids, preservatives or chemicals in it. It was much better than what we could get in America. She also posed an interesting question. Why does American bread (with lots of preservatives and chemicals in it) become inedible if you leave it out in the air for a few hours, but those round loaves of dark bread in Eastern Europe (without chemicals presumably) can sit out overnight and be eaten in the morning? The thought being that the preservatives actually spoil the bread - and cannot be good to eat.

Edited August 9, 2008 by Brad and Vika

[slim 1,533]

This is weird. All the pain that occurs in the kidneys is usually kidney stones.

Don't let your ladies go through the pain of those stones, please talk them into getting rid of them.

She doesn't have kidney pain. It's lower-abdominal pain. Sometimes it's back pain. Or, it could be neck pain. Her feet hurt a lot. Her wrists always hurt. Once, she had elbow pain. Headaches and stomach aches are quite common. Her legs often hurt after working more than four hours. Often she has pain in her ribs. I believe she's even told me her hair didn't feel good because her scalp was in pain.

No matter where her pain is, it's always a pain in my @$$.

[Brad and Vika 129]

This is weird. All the pain that occurs in the kidneys is usually kidney stones.

Don't let your ladies go through the pain of those stones, please talk them into getting rid of them.

She doesn't have kidney pain. It's lower-abdominal pain. Sometimes it's back pain. Or, it could be neck pain. Her feet hurt a lot. Her wrists always hurt. Once, she had elbow pain. Headaches and stomach aches are quite common. Her legs often hurt after working more than four hours. Often she has pain in her ribs. I believe she's even told me her hair didn't feel good because her scalp was in pain.

No matter where her pain is, it's always a pain in my @$$.

[groovlstk 0]

For those who aren't married and living with their Russian spouse, don't think that the wacky "alternative" opinions your significant other has are cute or endearing. Hearing a woman tell you that she caught a cold by sitting on a cold bench may seem amusing, but it's a whole other ball of wax when you're living together and medical issues arise.

[PJB 0]

This is weird. All the pain that occurs in the kidneys is usually kidney stones.

Don't let your ladies go through the pain of those stones, please talk them into getting rid of them.

She doesn't have kidney pain. It's lower-abdominal pain. Sometimes it's back pain. Or, it could be neck pain. Her feet hurt a lot. Her wrists always hurt. Once, she had elbow pain. Headaches and stomach aches are quite common. Her legs often hurt after working more than four hours. Often she has pain in her ribs. I believe she's even told me her hair didn't feel good because her scalp was in pain.

No matter where her pain is, it's always a pain in my @$$.

All these "pains" are very much a part of Slavic culture. In America we look at physical problems as something that should be attended to swiftly and efficiently with little or no whining involved. Take a pill, get an operation, get it fixed. But Slavic culture views ailments or physical complaints as something to be tended to by loving, caring family and friends. A quick fix with a pill is NOT accepted as a correct treatment. Family members are expected to offer love and comfort with hot teas, massage with medicinal creams, hot compresses and special foods. Even a trip to the doctor results in comforting advice and concern along with an RX.

The best way to treat your wife's pains is to be sympathetic, make hot compresses and cups of tea with lemon and honey. Massage her back and get a warm scarf for her neck. You are not dealing with mysterious illnesses, you are dealing with cultural differences that all those $$$ won't cure.

In other words your wife is seeking demonstrations of love from you. The more logic you give her the more "pains" she will develope.

[Brad and Vika 129]

This is weird. All the pain that occurs in the kidneys is usually kidney stones.

Don't let your ladies go through the pain of those stones, please talk them into getting rid of them.

She doesn't have kidney pain. It's lower-abdominal pain. Sometimes it's back pain. Or, it could be neck pain. Her feet hurt a lot. Her wrists always hurt. Once, she had elbow pain. Headaches and stomach aches are quite common. Her legs often hurt after working more than four hours. Often she has pain in her ribs. I believe she's even told me her hair didn't feel good because her scalp was in pain.

No matter where her pain is, it's always a pain in my @$$.

All these "pains" are very much a part of Slavic culture. In America we look at physical problems as something that should be attended to swiftly and efficiently with little or no whining involved. Take a pill, get an operation, get it fixed. But Slavic culture views ailments or physical complaints as something to be tended to by loving, caring family and friends. A quick fix with a pill is NOT accepted as a correct treatment. Family members are expected to offer love and comfort with hot teas, massage with medicinal creams, hot compresses and special foods. Even a trip to the doctor results in comforting advice and concern along with an RX.

The best way to treat your wife's pains is to be sympathetic, make hot compresses and cups of tea with lemon and honey. Massage her back and get a warm scarf for her neck. You are not dealing with mysterious illnesses, you are dealing with cultural differences that all those $$$ won't cure.

In other words your wife is seeking demonstrations of love from you. The more logic you give her the more "pains" she will develope.

Great post and perspective - thanks

[slim 1,533]

All these "pains" are very much a part of Slavic culture. In America we look at physical problems as something that should be attended to swiftly and efficiently with little or no whining involved. Take a pill, get an operation, get it fixed. But Slavic culture views ailments or physical complaints as something to be tended to by loving, caring family and friends. A quick fix with a pill is NOT accepted as a correct treatment. Family members are expected to offer love and comfort with hot teas, massage with medicinal creams, hot compresses and special foods. Even a trip to the doctor results in comforting advice and concern along with an RX.

The best way to treat your wife's pains is to be sympathetic, make hot compresses and cups of tea with lemon and honey. Massage her back and get a warm scarf for her neck. You are not dealing with mysterious illnesses, you are dealing with cultural differences that all those $$$ won't cure.

In other words your wife is seeking demonstrations of love from you. The more logic you give her the more "pains" she will develope.

I usually make her a warm glass of "shut the hell up." Probably not as effective as your method described above but I'm not a medical expert, especially not an Eastern medical expert. Munchausen syndrome gets no play in this house.

When she was working overtime at a the mom and pop restaurant and complained about her feet hurting, back hurting, wrists, etc., I had sympathy and suggested a workout regimen to combat the fatigue her body was starting to feel. If she would've listened to me and built up the muscles and flexibility required to sustain long work days she wouldn't have had so much pain. Instead, she suggested creams, oils, hot baths, warm tea and plenty of massaging and pampering by me. I'm happy to comply while she's working 40+ hours a week and has cause for aches and pains. However, it's an entirely different story when she works part time logging less than 20 hours a week.

I would love to be able to kill the aches and pains she feels. But, after visiting several doctors and noting how the aches and pains correspond with other emotional lows in her life, I'm more inclined to believe this is a mild form of malingering moreso than actual physical pain. Regardless of what it is or where it comes from it's not going to be dealt with by hugs and kisses, tender massages with warm oil, a warm scarf lovingly draped around her neck... it will be dealt with by overcoming a physical problem. If there is no physical problem then there is no problem, period.

One of these days folks on this forum are going to realize their S/O is here in the U.S. now and all the "#######" they brought with them needs to disappear in short order. I'm not saying they should lose their cultural identity but I am saying while they're in America they need to be doing American stuff. At minimum, they shouldn't be limited to not doing American stuff because of cultural issues. "I can't work over 40 hours a week because my feet hurt and you not make for me foot massage" is complete ####### and it needs to end.

There comes a time when the cultural crutch needs to break and folks start walking unaided.

(Good luck getting it to work in your house. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about this. Maybe if I would pamper my wife a little more she would be able to work like a normal person. To me though, I don't see pampering after an 18 hour work-week helping her transition into a 46 hour work-week. But, once again, like most other things in my marriage, I'm probably wrong.)

[PJB 0]

All these "pains" are very much a part of Slavic culture. In America we look at physical problems as something that should be attended to swiftly and efficiently with little or no whining involved. Take a pill, get an operation, get it fixed. But Slavic culture views ailments or physical complaints as something to be tended to by loving, caring family and friends. A quick fix with a pill is NOT accepted as a correct treatment. Family members are expected to offer love and comfort with hot teas, massage with medicinal creams, hot compresses and special foods. Even a trip to the doctor results in comforting advice and concern along with an RX.

The best way to treat your wife's pains is to be sympathetic, make hot compresses and cups of tea with lemon and honey. Massage her back and get a warm scarf for her neck. You are not dealing with mysterious illnesses, you are dealing with cultural differences that all those $$$ won't cure.

In other words your wife is seeking demonstrations of love from you. The more logic you give her the more "pains" she will develope.

I usually make her a warm glass of "shut the hell up." Probably not as effective as your method described above but I'm not a medical expert, especially not an Eastern medical expert. Munchausen syndrome gets no play in this house.

When she was working overtime at a the mom and pop restaurant and complained about her feet hurting, back hurting, wrists, etc., I had sympathy and suggested a workout regimen to combat the fatigue her body was starting to feel. If she would've listened to me and built up the muscles and flexibility required to sustain long work days she wouldn't have had so much pain. Instead, she suggested creams, oils, hot baths, warm tea and plenty of massaging and pampering by me. I'm happy to comply while she's working 40+ hours a week and has cause for aches and pains. However, it's an entirely different story when she works part time logging less than 20 hours a week.

I would love to be able to kill the aches and pains she feels. But, after visiting several doctors and noting how the aches and pains correspond with other emotional lows in her life, I'm more inclined to believe this is a mild form of malingering moreso than actual physical pain. Regardless of what it is or where it comes from it's not going to be dealt with by hugs and kisses, tender massages with warm oil, a warm scarf lovingly draped around her neck... it will be dealt with by overcoming a physical problem. If there is no physical problem then there is no problem, period.

One of these days folks on this forum are going to realize their S/O is here in the U.S. now and all the "#######" they brought with them needs to disappear in short order. I'm not saying they should lose their cultural identity but I am saying while they're in America they need to be doing American stuff. At minimum, they shouldn't be limited to not doing American stuff because of cultural issues. "I can't work over 40 hours a week because my feet hurt and you not make for me foot massage" is complete ####### and it needs to end.

There comes a time when the cultural crutch needs to break and folks start walking unaided.

(Good luck getting it to work in your house. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about this. Maybe if I would pamper my wife a little more she would be able to work like a normal person. To me though, I don't see pampering after an 18 hour work-week helping her transition into a 46 hour work-week. But, once again, like most other things in my marriage, I'm probably wrong.)

Wow, the love and understanding is overwhelming............ бедная жена.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I really enjoy Slim's sense of humor, but I may initially try a slightly different tac when Vika gets here.

[PJB 0]

I really enjoy Slim's sense of humor, but I may initially try a slightly different tac when Vika gets here.

When your wife whines give her 2 aspirin and a boot to the head...............

Edited August 10, 2008 by PJB

[Brad and Vika 129]

I really enjoy Slim's sense of humor, but I may initially try a slightly different tac when Vika gets here.

When your wife whines give her 2 aspirin and a boot to the head...............

Bednaya jena indeed... Although in fairness to Slim, there is a significant backstory there, and every couple will run their house differently.

[slim 1,533]

Wow, the love and understanding is overwhelming............ бедная жена.

That's what I keep hearing. "Poor wife because husband is so horrible."

I wish I had it so bad. I wish I married a woman who moved me into her place, bought me a car, took me on nice vacations and was completely devoted to me... and only made me work if I felt like it. Such a horrible life.

Bednaya jena indeed... Although in fairness to Slim, there is a significant backstory there, and every couple will run their house differently.

Every couple does run their house differently but my point is the households here in the U.S. tend to run a certain way and your S/O may try to pull that "because I'm different" ####### on you. Don't put up with it. They may be different, but they're not physically uncapable. Cultural difference or not, an able-bodied person needs to work to get what they want, not "blame" their spouse because they don't have it presented to them.

[Ana&D 0]

I'll just chip in true Ukrainian's prospective . Why we do swear on getting colds from "house wind" created by open windows/doors and horrible concequenses of seating on the granit for females, I've never ever heard that it might be unhealthy not to achieve "full release"...

P.S. Iodine and soda do work for sore throats, though. I wish I could get it into my fiance's head

[PJB 0]

I'll just chip in true Ukrainian's prospective . Why we do swear on getting colds from "house wind" created by open windows/doors and horrible concequenses of seating on the granit for females, I've never ever heard that it might be unhealthy not to achieve "full release"...

P.S. Iodine and soda do work for sore throats, though. I wish I could get it into my fiance's head

My husband has tried more than once to treat me with iodine gargle, mustard plasters and lack of fresh air. We usually play musical windows all winter. I run around opening windows to get some relief from the +25C temperature (because the radiator can't be adjusted or turned off!) and he's right behind me shutting all the windows to save me from the evil draft.

[radacos 0]

While I was also unfamiliar with the negative consequences of arousal without release for women, I can share some other beliefs commonly held in Romania:

- walking out of the house with your hair slightly damp causes meningitis;

- not just sitting, but also walking barefoot on the floor of your house damages the female reproductive tract (it causes you to "catch a cold in your uterus");

- not wearing a hat or headscarf in windy weather causes ear infections;

- drafts are, as anyone will tell you, the cause of numerous ailments ranging from colds to sore muscles;

- it is unhealthy to shampoo more than once a week;

- birth control pills are not so good because they contain male hormones and cause body hair to grow in abundance (this from my DOCTOR!).