August 2008 Filers

[Badgerella 5]

Great to see some good news in this thread. Everyone said that it gets a lot faster after the approval, and they were right. You had nothing to worry about.

Just letting you guys know that I'm not going to be as active in here. I'm going to be honest, it's difficult watching everyone set up medicals, interviews, and POE dates. I've been having a lot of personal problems lately, and don't even know whether the move is going to be June or July. Either way, it's hard watching everyone fly through, knowing I'll be the last one here.

We were approved on January 2nd and I've had Packet 3 with me for almost a month, but I'm still waiting on my vaccination records and injections which I tried to request about 3 weeks ago but because of the snow in the UK, have had to keep rescheduling my appointment. I finally got one for next week, but then found out that the nurse may not have access to my records which means I'll have to make yet another appointment afterwards. I don't live in that town anymore which means travelling every time.

This means it's going to take a while to even schedule my medical, let alone my interview. I'm guessing it will be in April, and then it's another 2-3 months until POE. Bill doesn't know when he's going to visit me because he still doesn't have a job, but even if he does, it's going to be hard crying and waiting after yet another visit while everyone has already moved. I hope you understand.

This thread has been such a great help to me, I never dreamt that I could find as much support when I started this process. I'm happy for all of you that are getting your visas and setting out dates, you deserve it. I'll pop in now and then to check up on people, and of course I'll be on Facebook too.

Hi other "G":

I just wanted to let you know that while we have our NOA2 we are not rushing through the gate and could very well be putting right along with you two. We were not as prepared as everyone here with the paperwork etc and to be honest, Rob is still sitting on top of his packet 3 there in good ol Rushden himself

He has scheduled a medical for him and his son the 20th and our atty here in Cali is sending the paperwork (my stuff) to him this week sometime. We still have not gotten the newest police reports either.

In all reality we don't expect an interview any too soon (since we've not even mailed the damn thing) and for sure if they are living here in the summer I'll consider this a job well done on our part.

We miss each other terribly and neither of us has money or time off from work for a visit but in the long run...a former VJ'r that lives near me here, now married to a Brit said to me that this will seem like a "fleeting moment" in the big picture.

Keep your chin up and message me if you get down and want to chat with another "straggler"

PS: I'm on facebook as well...let me know if you want it. "G"

We're in the same boat, as well. NOA2 was received ages ago, we had a 52-day wait at NVC, my packets 3 and 4 are sitting on my desk and today I finally got the final interview date. It'll be on April 8th. Just two days before our petition actually expires. My fiance is coming to Croatia for the interview, but we still miss each other terribly as it's been around five months since his last visit. I, of course, just can't get into the US. Never could.

There are, of course, ups and downs, but we'll make it. I have six more exams to get done before I can graduate and, even though we plan it to be 'as soon as possible', I don't really know when, exactly, we'll start thinking about POEs. First I guess I'll need the visa, anyway.

[Chuck and Grace 0]

Yes, it's all over. Apparently this happens (break ups just before marriage) in more than HALF of engagements there! I know one girl it happened to 3 times. The culture is complex and like a box of chocolates until you marry. Here they call it cold feet but their culture has huge demands on the man's wallet starting at marriage and never ending expectations (that aren't reciprocated)...who knows, maybe I don't fit the bill?

certainly in many asian cultures, it is expected for family abroad to provide support. Where we might generally provide support to our family in crisis, they are expected to do it on an on-going basis. Even to the point that the family doesnt say Thanks, but just expects it. That is different than our culture or what some of us are used to, but it may not mean she was just interested in the money.

I dont know if you have recalled your visa application request, but you might want to think about it a little more. Certainly long distance relationships are hard and the strain of this process doesnt help, but maybe in a few days things will get better or you might be able to work it out.

I have seen other VJ'ers who were going to stop, but ended up working through the issue, and fortunately, the other didnt stop the process.

Only you can know and decide your situation, but you might want to think about it for a little while. You have came a long way in the process to stop now. Of course that is not to suggest you should go on just because of how much time (and money) you have invested, merely to say ####### happens, people fight, say things they dont mean and you are not in their situation so it is difficult to understand the details of what might be happening in their life right now.

Maybe the "cold feet" or "sabotage" you refer to IS normal - especially for her, and she may just need a little time to get past the issue. I have generally found my friends from Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, China, & Japan to be very loyal, dedicated, hard working and maybe overly family oriented compared to US standards. (maybe that is part of the reason for the low divorce rate? - because in some of these countries divorce can be done REALLY quickly and really inexpensive, but still the divorce rate is low).

Which ever way you go, best of luck.

[Chuck and Grace 0]

We're in the same boat, as well. NOA2 was received ages ago, we had a 52-day wait at NVC, my packets 3 and 4 are sitting on my desk and today I finally got the final interview date. It'll be on April 8th. Just two days before our petition actually expires. My fiance is coming to Croatia for the interview, but we still miss each other terribly as it's been around five months since his last visit. I, of course, just can't get into the US. Never could.

There are, of course, ups and downs, but we'll make it. I have six more exams to get done before I can graduate and, even though we plan it to be 'as soon as possible', I don't really know when, exactly, we'll start thinking about POEs. First I guess I'll need the visa, anyway.

I am in a parrelled boat also running in the slow direction. But my packet is sitting the AP pile at the embassy - I sincerely hope they beat the 52 days they took on yours at NVC. I am afraid my petition will expire before the embassy even lets us schedule an interview. This week they told me probably another 2-3 months before I can even schedule - and they have also had it since Jan 5th.

[Yader&Sarah 0]

I wanted my August Filer Family to be the first to know...

We were approved this morning!!!

All went well at the interview. It was amazingly brief, not difficult/threatening or anything at all negative in the face of the rest we have dealt with in the process. I was allowed to interview with him, which was really nice. Also, everyone at the embassy was actually friendly. An overrall good experience!

We are able to pick up his visa next Friday, and are planning a POE on Saturday though Houston. I will write more in detail later! We need to go celebrate!

Seb&terry: Congrats!!!

Hyena: I´m so sorry to hear! But I´m glad you realized sooner than later and I hope everything works out for you!

[Chuck and Grace 0]

I wanted my August Filer Family to be the first to know...

We were approved this morning!!!

All went well at the interview. It was amazingly brief, not difficult/threatening or anything at all negative in the face of the rest we have dealt with in the process. I was allowed to interview with him, which was really nice. Also, everyone at the embassy was actually friendly. An overrall good experience!

We are able to pick up his visa next Friday, and are planning a POE on Saturday though Houston. I will write more in detail later! We need to go celebrate!

Seb&terry: Congrats!!!

Hyena: I´m so sorry to hear! But I´m glad you realized sooner than later and I hope everything works out for you!

Congratulations. I am really happy you had no problems.

[Terri and Seb 0]

Congratulations Yader&Sarah!

[MARM 7]

Yader&Sarah: Congratulations! Now you can relax a bit (I am sure POE will be a smooth sail) until AOS!

:dance: :dance:

Hyena: I wish you the best in whatever decision you make, may God bless you and help you find the best path to continue with.

[dispozo 0]

Congratulations!!!! :dance:

Have a safe trip home!!!

[Bulgarican 0]

Congratz to everyone with the good news and Happy St.Valentines Day guys

[HYENA 4]

Thuleshark: That' is going to be very very romantic! enjoy!

Hyena: Oh God so you broke up with her?. That's what you are trying to say?, sorry my english is not perfect and I dind't get your message.

Sargent: Did my joke of the day yesterday inspired you?. I am cracking up with your conversation.

Gemma: Thanks for adding me to your facebook, its nice to have friends from different parts of the world, plus we have things in common like this pain visa process!. So everybody here who wants to add me my name is: Cynlee Pinargote just search for it and add!!!.

Dany&Chris: It wil come don't despair!.

Stinkerpotsam: I see everybody in UK is facing the same problems due to bad weather, well I hope the authorities over there get their as$$ to work soon!.

See you all in Facebook!

Yes, it's all over. Apparently this happens (break ups just before marriage) in more than HALF of engagements there! I know one girl it happened to 3 times. The culture is complex and like a box of chocolates until you marry. Here they call it cold feet but their culture has huge demands on the man's wallet starting at marriage and never ending expectations (that aren't reciprocated)...who knows, maybe I don't fit the bill?

On their side of the view (trying to be objective) family comes first so many of my assumtions and errors are due to independent thinking vs interdependent thinking. Because the dowry goes to the family and the husband is part of the family, everything is shared. It only when one removes an individual that something uneven is bound to happen. I cannot fault their culture and way of thinking and many of my assumtions are from my perspective alone. Having said that, any E W relationship is complex and challenging. i cannot begin to tell you the interpreted cardinal wrongs we've done to each other all completely misunderstood. We're still talking and trying to iron out ####### happened while I try ti analyze this whole thing. I think telling her flat out we need to see an international counselor so I can understand and she can understand each's cultures, nothing will be mistaken as evil, heinous and we can figure out ####### is going on.

The gold and money is supposed to go to the bride since they don't have divorce settlements over there; which makes sense...a nest egg also just in case. From my perspective, it's money grubbing uneccesary and costly for a newlywed to have to do. If they were well off or could contribute something, I'm sure they would and would truly pool our assets in the Thai fashion but unfortunate for me, they have nothing which saddens us all.

So...I'll step back and STFU and try to be openminded. I have too much heart invested and cold feet mixed with many months of separation compounded by cultural misunderstandings make this a daunting task for the strongest couples. It has tested every ounce of patience both of us have. When in doubt, do nothing (I'm a westerner so I tend to knee jerk too quickly, maybe even for my own culture). I'll sit and wait and try to be objective....

[HYENA 4]

I wanted my August Filer Family to be the first to know...

We were approved this morning!!!

All went well at the interview. It was amazingly brief, not difficult/threatening or anything at all negative in the face of the rest we have dealt with in the process. I was allowed to interview with him, which was really nice. Also, everyone at the embassy was actually friendly. An overrall good experience!

We are able to pick up his visa next Friday, and are planning a POE on Saturday though Houston. I will write more in detail later! We need to go celebrate!

Seb&terry: Congrats!!!

Hyena: I´m so sorry to hear! But I´m glad you realized sooner than later and I hope everything works out for you!

And I remember your Ohhh where's my NOA2??? That's awesome! Congratulations! WOW!

They've forgotten about me here.

I have not canceled anything...surely there's an old sage saying in every culture...when in doubt, do nothing. I have done nothing. I can sabotage my life enough but this involves another person and many more. I plan to go there and talk things out, ask difficult questions and see, in person again if it's all in place or the sheer months apart and distance has taken its toll. Sometimes I know I'll say some things on the phone she'll react to that if she saw me in person, she'd see my intentions (Asians go by outward expression far more than words). No wonder she wants me to turn on the webcam a lot! Even if it's 5 minutes, she has to see me when we talk. I agree with the earlier comment about Asian countries and low divorce rate. "I" need to do some changing in a big way. I already knew this but in different ways than I expected. We both need to calm down and regroup. Realizing also my life savings is all gone didn't help my stress level and perception of constructive criticism as over criticism, too. My personal life has been a living hell lately and the economy is stinging at a time when I've got hundreds of thousands all gone in a flash (long story but hopefully we'll make the person responsible homeless and sell their house...see how it feels via judgement, criminal suit and lien but that's been years in the making and so far, can't keep my head above water at the same time funding a marriage in Asia is a kick in the gut. To be honest, I'm scared sh)*&^less and having problems I wish would go away.

JOIN FACEBOOK VISAJOURNEY! It would be nice to meet some of you there!

Edited February 14, 2009 by HYENA

[TeeKol 0]

I wanted my August Filer Family to be the first to know...

We were approved this morning!!!

All went well at the interview. It was amazingly brief, not difficult/threatening or anything at all negative in the face of the rest we have dealt with in the process. I was allowed to interview with him, which was really nice. Also, everyone at the embassy was actually friendly. An overrall good experience!

We are able to pick up his visa next Friday, and are planning a POE on Saturday though Houston. I will write more in detail later! We need to go celebrate!

Seb&terry: Congrats!!!

Hyena: I´m so sorry to hear! But I´m glad you realized sooner than later and I hope everything works out for you!

Congratulations!!! Another one is free to go home

Edited February 14, 2009 by TeeKol

[Cuchita 1]

Congratz Yader / Sarah!!!!!!! finally you will be together here! uffff what a relief!.

Hyena: So its not over, hang in there maybe things will work out!, we all go thru difficult times, but if its true love time will tel!.

HAPPY VALENTINE´S DAY EVERYONE!!!!

[Terri and Seb 0]

Hyena: I think seeing an international counselor sounds like a great idea. Joined the facebook group yesterday!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Be sure to post all your mushy stories here!

[Caminic 0]

Congrats Yader&Sarah!! I get more excited every time I see someone get to the final end of all the waiting, it must be a wonderful valentine's day gift for you both. I am happy to hear all the good news from so many people and sad that others are struggling so much with the process. Speaking from almost 5 years of waiting I know there are ups and downs with it. You would be suprised the stupid things that are miscommunicated over the phone and via internet. I remember several years ago me and my guy thought each other wasn't leaving offline messages only to discover we both had been and messenger had been losing them. There is so much silly stuff and not being able to see a person's visual reactions makes a huge difference. What I can say for sure is that it gets better. When anyone in a long distance relationship I know is having problems I tell them to just sit and think what would your life be without them. If they just vanished and you never heard from them again, how would you feel and how would it be. Sounds simple because it is, just stop and think. Often as people we make things so complex and look past the simple. Take a few steps back and simply think about life. Really, really think about what simple things make you happy, the free things, because it is those things that matter when all around us changes.