August 2008 Filers

[maliciant 7]

HappyDancer: the next step is in a few business days call them up and schedule your appointment. I hope you've gotten your cenomar, and any other documents you need already like birth certificates etc, there is a checklist floating around the forums (it's on the manila us embassy website) that gives you a list of all the documents you need as well as other information about what to do.

[Harsh 0]

wow! You step away for a couple of days and have to read more pages then "WAR AND PEACE" lol.... for the folks that are still waiting, I pray for you guys everyday, and will continue to do so until ALL of my fellow August filers get their NOA2's. For my friends that got thier approvals CONGRATS!!! now more waiting begins lol. By the way... FOR THE PEOPLE THAT GOT APPROVED...when you guys found out about the approval online, how long was it before you got something in the mail?? I got approved on Monday, and still have not gotten any kind of mail. How long should I wait to contact NVC to ask if they got my case????

[Gemmie 142]

Been feeling crappy lately.. even though we have the NOA2, our case is in London, and the medical/interview is waiting to be set up, I can't do anything about it yet cause I'm not going anywhere for a while.

I even find coming to VJ difficult nowadays because everyone is so excited for their special day coming along and know that it won't be happening for us anytime soon.. you guys have every right to be happy of course, and I'm happy for you ALL. It's just hard. A few of my friends have just moved into new apartments with their boyfriends and are all bubbly, talking about decorating and having their own time together. I am happy for them, but also envious; when will it be our turn? Someone else I know has been reunited with her American fiance after one month of applying for a visa. We're still kicking ourselves for going the UK-US route, hoping that Bill would have found a job and apartment by now, but no such luck. He's still applying to temp agencies, hoping they can find him *anything* that will be enough. For the first time, I'm questioning whether I want this enough to leave everything behind and move to the US where we have little chance of employment and an apartment.

It looks like I won't be seeing Bill for another 4-5 months too.. it's really putting a strain on our relationship at the moment. I just feel so tired of waiting and hoping, it's been 6 years since we met. So tired.. just feel the passion and hopes of being together are slipping away by the day as I watch everyone else bag the relationship goods. Is it normal to feel empty and no longer have much passion for the chance to be with the other, or is this something serious? I don't know.

Congrats on those that have been approved. Everything will go much faster from here. HD, schedule a medical exam and interview appointment. I called the medical place and they said they were only setting appointments for ASAP (not as far as March/April so I'll call back another time). Maybe yours will be the same, the Phillipines seems to be quite fast there.

Edited January 30, 2009 by Gemmie

[HappyDancer 7]

I called the NVC and got our Manila Case Number. Looks like I just need to gather the documents and call the USEM to schedule for interview. The medical is a first-come-first-served basis. The strain is because my daughter has school and I don't want her to keep missing class. Looks like we don't have a choice though.

For the first time, I would like to kick my fiance's a$s. He still hasn't filed for the employment letter! Nice! And the bank statements? Not done yet. hmmm... Looks like I could take a 6'2" guy down with a good killer kick!

[Fred N Emilia 0]

HD my employment verification letter took sometime to get so I really advice to get going on that. Make sure to get extra copies, written on letter head with REAL signatures from hi smanager or HR personel.

- Date hired

- Full time or part time

- Anual Salary

Did I miss anything? hee

And HD, dun forget the CFO seminar after the interview. This is not listed on packet 4 but the Pjhilippine goverment requires it or you will not be able to get passed immigrations in the PI.

[Chuck and Grace 0]

HD my employment verification letter took sometime to get so I really advice to get going on that. Make sure to get extra copies, written on letter head with REAL signatures from hi smanager or HR personel.

- Date hired

- Full time or part time

- Anual Salary

Did I miss anything? hee

And HD, dun forget the CFO seminar after the interview. This is not listed on packet 4 but the Pjhilippine goverment requires it or you will not be able to get passed immigrations in the PI.

Employment letter depends on the company. I told my HR dept I need one and they gave it to me about 30 minutes later. You could have him even write it, then give it to them for signatures.

Bank Statements are quick too, generally you can get on-line or within about 30 minutes at your local bank office.

So . . . Dont kill him yet.

[HappyDancer 7]

Thank you for all that. Whew... M still contemplating if I will kick him or just smack him now.

[Bulgarican 0]

Been feeling crappy lately.. even though we have the NOA2, our case is in London, and the medical/interview is waiting to be set up, I can't do anything about it yet cause I'm not going anywhere for a while.

I even find coming to VJ difficult nowadays because everyone is so excited for their special day coming along and know that it won't be happening for us anytime soon.. you guys have every right to be happy of course, and I'm happy for you ALL. It's just hard. A few of my friends have just moved into new apartments with their boyfriends and are all bubbly, talking about decorating and having their own time together. I am happy for them, but also envious; when will it be our turn? Someone else I know has been reunited with her American fiance after one month of applying for a visa. We're still kicking ourselves for going the UK-US route, hoping that Bill would have found a job and apartment by now, but no such luck. He's still applying to temp agencies, hoping they can find him *anything* that will be enough. For the first time, I'm questioning whether I want this enough to leave everything behind and move to the US where we have little chance of employment and an apartment.

It looks like I won't be seeing Bill for another 4-5 months too.. it's really putting a strain on our relationship at the moment. I just feel so tired of waiting and hoping, it's been 6 years since we met. So tired.. just feel the passion and hopes of being together are slipping away by the day as I watch everyone else bag the relationship goods. Is it normal to feel empty and no longer have much passion for the chance to be with the other, or is this something serious? I don't know.

Congrats on those that have been approved. Everything will go much faster from here. HD, schedule a medical exam and interview appointment. I called the medical place and they said they were only setting appointments for ASAP (not as far as March/April so I'll call back another time). Maybe yours will be the same, the Phillipines seems to be quite fast there.

Gemmie, i'm a bit concerned for your words, not feeling the same passion for Bill isnt a good news dear, perhaps you have lost the love somewhere along the waiting?? you should think about it well, sometimes in our lives we pray for certain things to happen, we fight hard for every little piece of happiness, but sometimes it wasnt meant to be, sometimes we are being tested for a reason, perhaps this is not supposed to happen and we should think it all and realize what we passed and think if this is really what we want and WILL want in the future...sometimes relationships starts great, but one day we realize the love is gone, and the passion for one another is very important, i eager everyday to be with Chris and even all this waiting i still love him even more than before... What happened with you? Perhaps it is bcos of all this waiting and the struggles you have you just feel down for sometimes but inside yourself you want to be with Bill more than anything?? Is that so? The obstacles are supposed to test our love, the one who's real remains the one thats not just vanish...i'm sorry for your troubles, i cant wait to be with chris too, having our flat arranged and all these things that couples do, if this is what you want fight for it!!! DONT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!! Maybe i had to send this in private...i hope someone else will give you words of encourgement and some advice. Hugs to you dear, stay strong!!!

[Terri and Seb 0]

Awww, Gemmie. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down. I can't speak for everyone here, but me and Sebastian definitely went through a rough patch and considered putting everything on hold at one point. We were fighting incessantly over the silliest things and our relationship felt...robotic?

I have no idea what the underlying causes are for your current unhappiness (except distance, of course!) but maybe it's best that you have a bit longer to wait that way you can really deliberate on your decision to move to the U.S. It's a huge, scary move! And that's normal.

If all that is making you unhappy is the distance and separation, think of ways to spice things up. Me and Sebastian have done a few movie nights where we both hang out and watch something and talk about it afterward. Sounds cheesy, but it's really fun! And we send each other thoughtful little gifts and letters. I was stressed over finals week and he sent me a big thing of bath salts to relax- stuff like that really goes a long way. When I finally went to visit him in December, all of my fears vanished. I realized that so much of the strain we were feeling could easily be washed away with a kiss on the forehead.

If you're upset about other, more internal flaws with your relationship- you at least have time to make your decision carefully. You're still in uni-right? What about getting involved with other organizations? Sometimes distraction is the best medicine.

I hope you feel better!

[deneter 0]

Gemmie: My opinion is that this a very difficult and long process. All these hurdles can make it very hard sometimes. From a psychological point of view it is normal that you feel discouraged and depressed. You probably have the feeling that it is never going to end. Of course you are questioning your relationship. When you feel worn out yourself you will also have no strength to have passion for your relationship right now.

Of course it is important to always make sure that this is really what you want. But I think you also have to be aware of your current negative attitude.

I hope that things (job, appartment...) for you will work out at some point and that you can make a decision then. If you end a relationship at a hopeless point of time you will probably feel bad about it once things are better.

At the same time I am aware that you can face difficulties in this visa process that are very hard to surmount.

I wish you and your fiance a lot strength.

Feel hugged from me! I know what this process can do to you!

[Cuchita 1]

Call now Harsh! they are fast. Look at my timeline, and they did all that before the holidays. Remember to wait to talk to a live person.

Good luck and let us know.

wow! You step away for a couple of days and have to read more pages then "WAR AND PEACE" lol.... for the folks that are still waiting, I pray for you guys everyday, and will continue to do so until ALL of my fellow August filers get their NOA2's. For my friends that got thier approvals CONGRATS!!! now more waiting begins lol. By the way... FOR THE PEOPLE THAT GOT APPROVED...when you guys found out about the approval online, how long was it before you got something in the mail?? I got approved on Monday, and still have not gotten any kind of mail. How long should I wait to contact NVC to ask if they got my case????

[Fred N Emilia 0]

This process is long, with obstacles, filled with hearache, stress and TEARS! like what Dani said if it's meant to be then it's really meant to be. I never used to be believe in faith and meant to be since my childhood sweetheart and I met again. Before I decided to get into a long distance relationship I thought of it for a month to see if I can go through it again (done it before) but then since the love is still VERY STRONG we dove into it and so here we are.

GEMMIE all I can tel you is this, this process is full of tests, it will test you in the brink of falling and breaking apart. Being strong is very important but hey we can only take so much. I really agree on what Dani wrote.

Hang in there gurl! We are all here for yah!

[Gemmie 142]

Thank you, girls..

Dani, I do want that, I really do.. it wasn't long ago that Bill told me to imagine the day where we're painting a room for a child, getting to plan all of that together, and I was so so excited.. since then though, I've just had all of the energy knocked out of me.

This is meant as no disrespect to you and Chris at all, but we never experienced these feelings within the first couple of years of our relationship, either. We were feeling positive and hopeful and happy.. but we're on our 6th year of knowing each other, our 4th year of having the endless visiting cycle, looking at our 11th goodbye at the airport, and even though the end is now in sight, I feel as though I'm running on empty. Perhaps this is a normal thing to feel when you've been doing it for so long, I have no idea.

We've been fighting for it for so long, just like everyone here, and this is the first time that I've felt so incredibly frustrated to the point where I don't even want to talk about it anymore, I don't even want to discuss what's wrong.. has anyone else experienced that? We've been fighting about the practical things of the move such as him getting the job. We've been waiting TWO YEARS for him to find a job that makes enough so that we can just live together alone and be a normal couple.. now I find that I'm not even listening when he tells me about his job-hunting plans because I have no hope that he'll find anything.

Terri, "robotic" is right on the mark. There are times I'm laughing with my friends, we're having tea together, watching a movie, playing a game.. and then I go home to call Bill, and it feels so robotic. Sometimes we've exhausted all of the conversations we can to make the situation better and the only thing that would work is a big cuddle. Sometimes I want to burst out crying too because I can't have him but feel there's no point, because I can't have a comforting hug. That creates more frustration because I think to how long we have left until we can have it, and see a giant question mark. The same thing happened as you, too; the moment we could be together and cuddle, everything seemed so small and we were able to deal with it.

I don't fear for the internal things of the relationship as such; I know that we love each other. I fear that the external things are tearing away at the energy needed for this journey to be complete until I have nothing left anymore, no desire to carry it on. As it is, I'm going to be reading this to Bill later, as I haven't been able to put into words why I feel so empty about the situation.

Thanks for your words, though.. I hope you girls are hanging in there (especially you Terri, you're so close!)

[Chuck and Grace 0]

Gemmie, I cant remember all the 300+ pages of messages here, so I dont remember exactly why you cant move along more quickly now that you have the NOA2 - schooling? His job situation? Not sure. But I will (reluctantly) say this: Marriage is a big step. A big commitment. And a LOT of work.

With that little (and obvious) being said, you are young still - I am not going to make any lecture and dont really want to hear about that comment from anyone else either (I got married young the 1st time too - lasted 17 years, at least a few of those many days were probably happy). But my point is, I think no matter how old you are, things will change for you as time goes on. That means things that interest you now probably wont in the future. I do believe you can make a good choice and a good life even getting married when your young, but certainly things change faster when you are young. Hopefully you can change together. I would imagine things are changing for you now (like friends getting married, having kids, moving to new locations, etc) as well as changing for him (finished school, looking for a job, new place to live, etc).

I cant really imagine giving up my current life to move to another country. Certainly, I think I would be with the one I loved, but it must be difficult and scary.

Long Distance relationships are tough too, but they wont necessarily get better when your together - especially if you have never lived together. Someone that you love today could be someone you hate living with tomorrow, or they could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Last, as time goes by and you are apart, you can choose to make it better or let it get worse. Both people play a part in that. Certainly, things are always better for me when I am with Grace, but everytime I have to say goodbye for now, I hate it and our relationship gets worse after about a month or two, but then tends to improve again when we both realize that we want the same things ultimately - it is just the struggle and time apart that we hate.

Whatever happens, all I would suggest is make your decision carefully.

[maliciant 7]

HappyDancer: You have to give the embassy a few days to enter the petition into their system, after that you can schedule the appointment, you just have to guess, I think 3 days after they receive it you should be able to schedule it.

Gemmie: If the 1 month process is to go from the US to the UK and employment prospects are better there... what's holding him in america? You are both young enough it seems unlikely either of you would have much really tying you to a location (no kids, no house, just family). Is there some practical reason that you are going to him instead of the other way?