Fiancee is pregnant

[rebeccajo 14]

Hope someone can help me with this .

I just found out that my fiancee is pregnant ....................

Ok, I've been in exactly the same boat as you, so I can give you some advice.

First and foremost, don't listen to the people here who will tell you that nothing

can be done for your case, that pregnancy is not a valid reason for getting your

case expedited.........................

also, you came from the uk..and she is coming from a high fraud country the PI...so, your situation was much different

I know you were well intentioned, elwintro, but I agree with Brother Dean on this one.

By the time you sought help, your petition was in the hands of the London embassy. Manila may not be so willing to assist as London was.

But - it wouldn't hurt to try......

Edited May 18, 2006 by rebeccajo

[elwintro 0]

What really apalls me is not so much that people spout more opinion

than fact on this issue, but it is those despicable individuals that crawl

out of the woodwork to criticise and belittle people like me and my

fiancee who have gotten pregnant during the K1 process and are

looking for ways to speed things up.

Comments about cutting the queue, and pregnancy being a choice that

could've been prevented, are utterly crass, unsympathetic, and inhuman.

I'm surprised that nobody here has actually shown their true colours and

recommended the possibility of abortion given the anti-family, anti-children

sentiment some have expressed.

The bottom line is that it is fundamentally wrong and unjust NOT

to expedite K1 petitions for pregnant couples. They do deserve "special

treatment" because a child is no small matter, and it is for the greatest

good of the baby that the USCIS ought to see to it that the parents are

brought together ASAP.

I cannot condemn enough the insidious cretins on this board who insist

that pregnant couples deserve no special treatment. It is discrimination,

intolerence, and selfishness of the highest order. Yes, the visa journey

is long and hard as it is, but pregnant couples have a real and present

need to be together - they don't just have to deal with the heartache

of separation anymore. To say they should remain in the same boat

as everyone else is just plain wrong, and you people should be ashamed

of yourselves.

[Cristy 4]

The bottom line is that it is fundamentally wrong and unjust NOT

to expedite K1 petitions for pregnant couples. They do deserve "special

treatment" because a child is no small matter, and it is for the greatest

good of the baby that the USCIS ought to see to it that the parents are

brought together ASAP.

And again I ask how is this different than people with children? A few here have children who are missing the other parent, parents missing birthdays....etc.

I have just been diagnosed with a debilitating disease, should I get there sooner than someone who is healthy?

Can I make a special case because school starts end of July and I don't want my kids to be starting school late, in a new country, in a new home, away from their friends and family?

Everyone has special circumstances.

Being together for pregnancy is not a NEED it is a want.

Edited May 18, 2006 by cristy

[KAA 0]

What really apalls me is not so much that people spout more opinion

than fact on this issue, but it is those despicable individuals that crawl

out of the woodwork to criticise and belittle people like me and my

fiancee who have gotten pregnant during the K1 process and are

looking for ways to speed things up.

Comments about cutting the queue, and pregnancy being a choice that

could've been prevented, are utterly crass, unsympathetic, and inhuman.

I'm surprised that nobody here has actually shown their true colours and

recommended the possibility of abortion given the anti-family, anti-children

sentiment some have expressed.

The bottom line is that it is fundamentally wrong and unjust NOT

to expedite K1 petitions for pregnant couples. They do deserve "special

treatment" because a child is no small matter, and it is for the greatest

good of the baby that the USCIS ought to see to it that the parents are

brought together ASAP.

I cannot condemn enough the insidious cretins on this board who insist

that pregnant couples deserve no special treatment. It is discrimination,

intolerence, and selfishness of the highest order. Yes, the visa journey

is long and hard as it is, but pregnant couples have a real and present

need to be together - they don't just have to deal with the heartache

of separation anymore. To say they should remain in the same boat

as everyone else is just plain wrong, and you people should be ashamed

of yourselves.

Well put, I couldnt have said it better. I would feel this way even if my fiancee wasnt pregnant.

[elwintro 0]

I know you were well intentioned, elwintro, but I agree with Brother Dean on this one....

Yes, certainly, he has a valid point. But I still don't think the OP should

just sit back and do nothing. The USCIS and local consulates are morally

obliged to pay special attention to pregnant fiancees because their cases

are no longer about the desire of two people to be together, but are about

a real need for them to be together. Whether or not this obligation

is realised by the authorities at any level is another question, but, as my

mum always used to say, "If you need to go, speak up!"

[TracyTN 237]

elwintro, I would like you to show me where I criticized you or your fiancee for her getting pregnant (or anyone for that matter).

You're obviously very sensitive about this issue but at least give it the ol' college try to not lump all of us together.

[Jenn! 918]

Pregnancy was your choice.... its not an illness, could have been prevented...

[KAA 0]

And again I ask how is this different than people with children? A few here have children who are missing the other parent, parents missing birthdays....etc.

I have just been diagnosed with a debilitating disease, should I get there sooner than someone who is healthy?

Can I make a special case because school starts end of July and I don't want my kids to be starting school late, in a new country, in a new home, away from their friends and family?

Everyone has special circumstances.

Being together for pregnancy is not a NEED it is a want.

They should expedite all cases were children are involved, pregnant or not. Also do some research about bonding while in the womb and fetal development. This bonding has a major effect on how the Father perceives his child and makes the bond stronger in life, also the father interacting with the baby (speaking closely to the stomach) builds bonds that will carry on throughout life (baby will already know the sound of the fathers voice even before birth). Not to mention stress on the Mother passes through the placenta straight to the baby subsequently raising the babys blood pressure thus making that baby whos mother had high stress, more susceptible to diseases like Diabetes and other major problems (all because the mother was stressing alot throughout the pregnancy)

Children are our future, and future care takers, to not put them 1st is definitely inhuman.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

I was gonna chime in as well with sometimes, in some cases, the Embassy will expediate the interview (not the actual approval process) in cases where one of the parties is expecting - but I see the OP already got that info for themselves so I'll just say; have a safe and trouble-free preganacy!

[Gikoo 0]

Congrats on the pregnancy, it truely "is" a blessing.

Here's a little information that I got, because I was in the situation about a month ago.

A few weeks after staying with my Fiance, we discovered she was pregnant. Of course it wasn't planned, but we both looked at it as a blessing as well. Some people try all they're lives to have kids, and can't, so who am I to say it was bad because of the timing. We felt fortunate.

After her first medical exam, she was told she was going to have many complications during the pregnancy due to her having an extremely small uterus. I also was concerned about the medical attention she would receive there knowing this, as she lives in the middle of the Pantanal in Brasil, and is far from any major city.

I called the USCIS and spoke to them about it. They said to "me" (as it could be different for someone else) that a normal pregnancy would not change the process at all. I also confirmed that by contacting the Consulate in Rio. Again, this is what "I" was told by the USCIS and the Consulate, someone else may have gotten different results, or answers.

Now, the USCIS told me that because her pregnancy was labeled as an extremely high risk, that I would more than likely qualify for expedited services under the "Extreme emergent situation" section of the expedited guidelines. I was told to have her get a signed letter from her Dr. explaining the circumstances of her pregnancy. I was to send this in with my I-129F.

Unfortunetly, a week later (April 15th) my Fiance lost the baby due to complications previously stated by her Dr.

Now, I know this is a different situation, but wanted to share my knowledge, and what I was told. I had not contacted my Congress person however, only the USCIS, and the Consulate in Rio de Janeiro.

Best of Luck to you both, and I hope you are united as quickly as possible.

Erik

So sorry to hear about your loss

[vera77 0]

Thanx everyone for taking the time to look at my post.

Didnt expect to cause so much comotion over it though so sorry about that.

As for the few that have negative thoughts about my fiancee getting pregnant it was purely a miracle that she got pregnant just like any pregnancy and i thank god for the blessing so sorry if anyone feels differant.

The reason i am concerned is that a visa once it is issued is only good for 6 months and the airlines wont allow a pregnant paasanger after they are 7 months and there is some concerns of flying a newborn baby until it reaches 6 months of age so i am worried we might lose the visa during this short window of oppertunity.

From the way i am seeing things progress on the timelines of most other cases it will be about 4 months before i get anything back from the uscis and then who knows how long it will be before the papers get forwarded to the embassy in manila.

I just talked to a person at my congressmans office and they informed me that they may be able to help with expediting the interview but thats after the approval comes from the uscis.

Are you sure that all airlines have that policy about the age of the baby? I had my baby fly the first time at 1 month and a half old. It was a european low cost airline and I was flying in Europe, ok, but maybe you can check the rules with different airlines.

Vera

[JenT 0]

They should expedite all cases were children are involved, pregnant or not. Also do some research about bonding while in the womb and fetal development. This bonding has a major effect on how the Father perceives his child and makes the bond stronger in life, also the father interacting with the baby (speaking closely to the stomach) builds bonds that will carry on throughout life (baby will already know the sound of the fathers voice even before birth). Not to mention stress on the Mother passes through the placenta straight to the baby subsequently raising the babys blood pressure thus making that baby whos mother had high stress, more susceptible to diseases like Diabetes and other major problems (all because the mother was stressing alot throughout the pregnancy)

Children are our future, and future care takers, to not put them 1st is definitely inhuman.

Anyone who has been on this board for any length of time whatsoever has probably come across posts from members who's SOs have abused their children... every situation needs to be evaluated on its own merit, considering the circumstances, for the sake and safety of the children involved. Look what's happened to cause the need for the IMBRA...

As for the words that have been said about people's opinions within this thread, all I can say is that I have also been slammed as an OP with people's 'opinions'... when I got defensive about it, I was told to expect varying opinions and not to post otherwise (that's a paraphrase, obviously, but that's what I heard...)

A poster has to be prepared for opinions, and accept them as such, even if they are presented as facts. People get judgmental, even though most here make an honest effort to be open and compasisonate. When people are only given limited facts, or have personal experiences that cause them to feel strongly about certain subjects, there's going to be controversy. I'm tending to treat people's posts like child rearing advice... I listen to it all, gather the facts myself, and then make the best decision for my own circumstance.

Jen

[elwintro 0]

And again I ask how is this different than people with children?

I'm not talking about people with older children. That's not the issue here.

But, that issue also highlights the unreasonableness of the American family-

based immigration process. Why does it take months and months to come

to America when I could've brought my USC fiancee to the British consulate

and obtained a visa for her in an afternoon?

Being together for pregnancy is not a NEED it is a want.

Look, I think you're being a little unfair. There is a real need that both

partners should be together in order to establish a supporting environment

for the mum and baby when it arrives. Newborn babies need much more

care and attention than older children, and post-natal mums need the

immediate care and support (financially and otherwise) of their partners.

Yes, this isn't a life or death situation, but there is still a strong moral

obligation on the USCIS to expedite petitions for pregnant couples as

the well-being of mum and baby is strongly tied in with dad being present.

Regardless, I think we can all agree that the current American family

visa process is a monstrosity that needs severely reviewed.

[Tex'n'Brit 0]

Congrats on the pregnancy, it truely "is" a blessing.

Here's a little information that I got, because I was in the situation about a month ago.

...

Now, the USCIS told me that because her pregnancy was labeled as an extremely high risk, that I would more than likely qualify for expedited services under the "Extreme emergent situation" section of the expedited guidelines. I was told to have her get a signed letter from her Dr. explaining the circumstances of her pregnancy. I was to send this in with my I-129F.

Unfortunetly, a week later (April 15th) my Fiance lost the baby due to complications previously stated by her Dr.

...

Erik

So sorry to hear about your loss

Dear Erik,

I too, am very sorry to read of your sad loss and wish you and your lady all the very best for the future.

Never mind whether it's right or wrong to permit pregant women or separated parents to expedite/manipulate (take your pick...) the system because of their situation/condition. My personal opinion is ... that I would probably have felt resentful if every case involving a pregancy/child was given priority over childless couples, but I suspect it rarely happens anyway. I agree with the other poster that, if it was a reliable way to speed things up, it would have been mentioned in a 'sticky' post or a guide here somewhere. Of course if there were special circumstances - such as Erik and his fiancee, for example - well, I would have been fine with that sort of case leapfrogging over me. (After all, I usually let people buying one or two items go ahead of me in the supermarket queue! )

Either way, every case is different and the way each case is handled in each country is different too. Sometimes people asking for help keep hitting stone walls and sometimes they're given a break. So I reckon the OP should definitely have a try - contacting everyone and anyone that might be able to go in to bat for them. After all, I've always believed that, "If you don't ask, you don't get."

Some people here might benefit from taking a moment to calmly consider just how lucky they are that they can get pregant in the first place and then carry a baby to full term afterwards.

Just my personal opinions, of course.

All the best,

Sheila

Edited May 18, 2006 by Tex'n'Brit

[Cristy 4]

And again I ask how is this different than people with children?

I'm not talking about people with older children. That's not the issue here.

But, that issue also highlights the unreasonableness of the American family-

based immigration process. Why does it take months and months to come

to America when I could've brought my USC fiancee to the British consulate

and obtained a visa for her in an afternoon?

Being together for pregnancy is not a NEED it is a want.

Look, I think you're being a little unfair. There is a real need that both

partners should be together in order to establish a supporting environment

for the mum and baby when it arrives. Newborn babies need much more

care and attention than older children, and post-natal mums need the

immediate care and support (financially and otherwise) of their partners.

Yes, this isn't a life or death situation, but there is still a strong moral

obligation on the USCIS to expedite petitions for pregnant couples as

the well-being of mum and baby is strongly tied in with dad being present.

Regardless, I think we can all agree that the current American family

visa process is a monstrosity that needs severely reviewed.

I completely disagree. An older child needs their parents as much as and even more than a newborn. A newborn sleeps, eats and poops. One person can do it. I did it alone with twins and a 22 month old. It is not life and death. It is not a need, it is a desire. Sure it is best if families can be together.

This is about children....new or old....to say a pregnancy should expedite it over people with older children is just ridiculous.

Of course if you are in the situation you can make a ton of arguments for it. But in reality a pregnancy is no more of an emergent situation than almost anyone else on here.

If they open gates to speed up for pregnancy then should then do it for people with kids, people with illness....etc...the list goes on.

We all want to be with our SO and our kids..... we just have to wait.