Does your muslim husband mind if you drink?

[Ban Hammer 13,445]

BTW, what's FUBAR?

f__ed up beyond all recognition.

[Staashi 371]

BTW, what's FUBAR?

Effed Up Beyond All Recognition

Edited August 6, 2008 by Staashi

[RAKASA 0]

[doodlebugg 10]

I thought everyone knew what FUBAR was! Back in high school kids would say, "dude you were fawkin' fuuuuuuuuuuubaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah last weekend!!!" lol

[morocco4ever 63]

I still say it makes a nice snack.

[Sandrila 1]

This is a really great topic for me.

I find that no girlfriends I have can even remotely understand how my husband is or why.

I have to admit at times it is restricting but I find I like my husband being attentive and protective of me

surely EVERYONE'S MARRIAGE is different and so are the boundaries you create in it

I am a social butterfly so for me to be more restrained now, is a big change for me

plus being extremely independent

he has already told me to keep the men far...like

any old friends (even if they are like family to me) cannot approach me physically at all

like any kissin or huggin...you know what I mean...meet and greet NO!

going out after work with co workers........light drinks NO!!

nightclubs without him here...NO NO NO

when I got back from Morocco April 2007..I got a new place and live alone (for now)...he always always always says

NO MEN IN THIS HOME...he feels very firm about it not being tarnished by any male presence..extreme I know but this is how he feels

in Morocco...he censored me totally in front of any male friends or acquaintances..some I couldnt even go near or talk to b/c they were "a certain kind of person"

I couldnt drink, smoke, dance or do alot of things unless he deemed it appropriate

Being out past 9...soooooooooooo questionable and NO

I mean after marriage I was surprised to see how much more authority he assumed and believe me I never had a man like this in all my life!

On top of it all he is some years younger than me but way more mature than any man 2x his age

I adore him even if he does bust my chops

It has been a change for me but a good change I feel. I have come to realize alot about respect for your spouse and how I may have been too easy in alot of my socializing (but then again, we are just used to living this way)

I dont know why I feel the need to vent

sometimes he drives me crazy..he is like a bloodhound and wants to know all about all

but I love him and i am very happy to have him in my life

he makes me feel special and I like the new world we are creating with each other

I cant wait till he comes and I think once he is here and can actually meet and see the people I know ...he will relax more...right now he probably feels insecure and left out....plus with the reputation we have over here in America, I think he doesnt want me to be like all Americans...we are a great country but we have alot of growing up to do.

I think alot of the wives on here can relate to some of the issues that I have stated.

I hope for us all to be reunited with our darlings and have a happy life

[Nagishkaw 510]

[Sandrila 1]

###### up

#### faced

obliviated

wasted

fired up

lit

hammered

annihilated

plastered

any others?

[morocco4ever 63]

Sandrila

I can relate to the issues you mentioned, and it had come up for us too, but I have also made it clear to him that some of this is not acceptable. I stated it from the start. He also said no men in the house. Well lets face it, men come to repair things in the house. How do you expect me not to allow him in the house, but still expect him to make repairs? I think some men come here and do change once they see that things are just different here. I think some come here and expect to much.

If what he states is all livable for you then thats great. If not I suggest you start working on it now in the kindest way possible. Remind him that what he sees on TV does exist, but it exist there in Morocco as well. I made sure to point it out everytime I saw a Moroccan singer on TV that was dressed questionable. He would tell me that it was just TV, and they were stars and not everyone dresses that way. Bingo! I think you get my point. The US is not what they see on TV, just like any other country.

Being married to an Arab can be hard, and it can be wonderful. But you need to think about how much of his demands are realistic, and how many you can live with? Work on it now so as to make it clear what to expect. You shouldn't have to change your entire personality to make him happy, keep that in mind.

[SaadBell 0]

Just have to ask the question, they have no problem with women working and earning their own way, a lot of time, money for them and their family, but when it comes to other issues, they turn old fashion? How can they allow the women they say they love, work their butts off paying for most of everything, while still trying to control them, that is crazy to me. I say if you are working, doing the house and kids, than all is fair, now if he is supporting you all the way than maybe he does have control. Just my thoughts You either take it all, and he totally supports all, or he just learns to shut up, since he is not doing the normal thing as in supporting his wife. I know there will be people upset at this, but just how I feel.

[lion_lioness 0]

This reminds me of a post from many moons ago...anywhooo... Every man is different. Also don't be surprised of what one may be ok with while you're still separated and how that might change once he is here. If you are both muslim, then I hope its something both of you agree not to do inshallah. If it is something you enjoy rarely/special day then definitely talk about it ahead of time but also be ready for a compromise later on.

My husband was really open minded about things - more than I wanted (at least I thought). However, after living here a year he has become stronger in his deen and I am thankful for that. Keeps me from falling off.... My ex-husband however, is/was/will prolly always been down for whatever! LOL So it depends.

Like many of the sisters said talk about it now (among other important issues) and keep a line of communication open as well.

best wishes,

[JULIAFERNO 0]

My fiance and I have a motto: "Everything is mutual." It's not fair for either of us to expect something of the other that we are not willing to do ourselves.

While he is "stricter" than most American men, he doesn't try to control what I do - he knows that I am an intelligent and responsible woman and that I love and respect him enough to control myself. But, that is something that has taken time and a lot of discussion, disagreement and some pretty heated arguments. Both of us have had to make compromises, and we both know that it's not "my way or the highway!" I think that placing incredibly strict restrictions on one another may work for awhile, but has the potential to explode. I think it is very possible to have a great deal of respect, love, and communication without ruling with an iron fist. Our relationship consists of discussions (albeit heated at times), not mandates.

JMHO.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Word!

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I directed my fiance to this thread and thought I'd share his two cents...

"Seller happy, buyer happy."

[mahboula 11]

Word!