Does your muslim husband mind if you drink?

[Staashi 371]

But I would assume the majority of the muslim men as the majority of christian men do not accept drinking alcohol. and that in that given situation the men would not want their wife to drink either.

Do you really think that's true? I haven't gotten that impression at all.

Nor have I. It's frowned upon in some denominations or individual congregations but accepted (in moderation) in others. I've been in Protestant communion services where wine was served, with grape juice as an alternative.

Well, it depends what type of Christian denomination we're dealing with - Catholics...we like the liquor - wine, beer, hard, etc. Protestants...depends which denomination someone is - methodists, presbyterians, etc - they will drink on occasion - just not too excess. Southern Baptists - definitely not - well, at least not in front of others that know them.

We actually have a joke here in the South about what religions do not recognize about each other, and I say this as a JOKE, so please nobody get offended:

Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah;

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Church;

and Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

[caybee 21]

My husband and I were both drinking when we first met, you know, out in the clubs and stuff. But as we began to get more serious he asked me to stop drinking as he had as well. I know he's not had a drink of any alcohol in about 7 1/2 years. I have had so much drama and trauma over the alcoholics in my family that it was not a problem for me at all to agree to not drink anymore. We are around alot of friends and co-workers that are very much into "social drinking" and the peer pressure that we get now is worse than when we were both younger. But we stand our ground and have made a choice as a couple not to drink or have alcohol in the house.

Hicham had quit smoking until the whole thing happened with his parents. I even smoked a pack over a weeks time from the incident as well. I haven't had anymore but he has not stopped. When either of us smoke, we NEVER, NEVER do it in front of our son. We usually wait till after he's gone to bed and we go out on the back porch and have tea and a smoke. Our deal is that if I quit drinking soda, he'll quit smoking. We are both currently working on our vices! When Hicham's ready to stop, I know that he will.

These are definitely issues that a couple should discuss prior to marriage. You might not think these are big issues, but they certainly can turn into major arguments down the road. It's good to know where you both stand in the beginning.

I've said this once and I'll say it a hundred times.....you MUST establish your boundaries in the very beginning. It will save you immense heartache in the end.

Truer words were never spoken.

[Nothing1234 2]

My husband and I were both drinking when we first met, you know, out in the clubs and stuff. But as we began to get more serious he asked me to stop drinking as he had as well. I know he's not had a drink of any alcohol in about 7 1/2 years. I have had so much drama and trauma over the alcoholics in my family that it was not a problem for me at all to agree to not drink anymore. We are around alot of friends and co-workers that are very much into "social drinking" and the peer pressure that we get now is worse than when we were both younger. But we stand our ground and have made a choice as a couple not to drink or have alcohol in the house.

Hicham had quit smoking until the whole thing happened with his parents. I even smoked a pack over a weeks time from the incident as well. I haven't had anymore but he has not stopped. When either of us smoke, we NEVER, NEVER do it in front of our son. We usually wait till after he's gone to bed and we go out on the back porch and have tea and a smoke. Our deal is that if I quit drinking soda, he'll quit smoking. We are both currently working on our vices! When Hicham's ready to stop, I know that he will.

These are definitely issues that a couple should discuss prior to marriage. You might not think these are big issues, but they certainly can turn into major arguments down the road. It's good to know where you both stand in the beginning.

I've said this once and I'll say it a hundred times.....you MUST establish your boundaries in the very beginning. It will save you immense heartache in the end.

Truer words were never spoken.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

But I would assume the majority of the muslim men as the majority of christian men do not accept drinking alcohol. and that in that given situation the men would not want their wife to drink either.

Do you really think that's true? I haven't gotten that impression at all.

Nor have I. It's frowned upon in some denominations or individual congregations but accepted (in moderation) in others. I've been in Protestant communion services where wine was served, with grape juice as an alternative.

Well, it depends what type of Christian denomination we're dealing with - Catholics...we like the liquor - wine, beer, hard, etc. Protestants...depends which denomination someone is - methodists, presbyterians, etc - they will drink on occasion - just not too excess. Southern Baptists - definitely not - well, at least not in front of others that know them.

We actually have a joke here in the South about what religions do not recognize about each other, and I say this as a JOKE, so please nobody get offended:

Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah;

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Church;

and Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

I'm an Italian-American Catholic and I don't drink nor do I smoke. I have no desire to do either. My husband is happy that I don't, but he also said if I wanted to drink it was my choice.

[Staashi 371]

But I would assume the majority of the muslim men as the majority of christian men do not accept drinking alcohol. and that in that given situation the men would not want their wife to drink either.

Do you really think that's true? I haven't gotten that impression at all.

Nor have I. It's frowned upon in some denominations or individual congregations but accepted (in moderation) in others. I've been in Protestant communion services where wine was served, with grape juice as an alternative.

Well, it depends what type of Christian denomination we're dealing with - Catholics...we like the liquor - wine, beer, hard, etc. Protestants...depends which denomination someone is - methodists, presbyterians, etc - they will drink on occasion - just not too excess. Southern Baptists - definitely not - well, at least not in front of others that know them.

We actually have a joke here in the South about what religions do not recognize about each other, and I say this as a JOKE, so please nobody get offended:

Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah;

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Church;

and Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

I'm an Italian-American Catholic and I don't drink nor do I smoke. I have no desire to do either. My husband is happy that I don't, but he also said if I wanted to drink it was my choice.

My husband and I don't hardly ever drink - we're actually too cheap.

[caybee 21]

But I would assume the majority of the muslim men as the majority of christian men do not accept drinking alcohol. and that in that given situation the men would not want their wife to drink either.

Do you really think that's true? I haven't gotten that impression at all.

Nor have I. It's frowned upon in some denominations or individual congregations but accepted (in moderation) in others. I've been in Protestant communion services where wine was served, with grape juice as an alternative.

Well, it depends what type of Christian denomination we're dealing with - Catholics...we like the liquor - wine, beer, hard, etc. Protestants...depends which denomination someone is - methodists, presbyterians, etc - they will drink on occasion - just not too excess. Southern Baptists - definitely not - well, at least not in front of others that know them.

We actually have a joke here in the South about what religions do not recognize about each other, and I say this as a JOKE, so please nobody get offended:

Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah;

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Church;

and Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

Lifelong Presbyterian here, one of God's frozen people.

[morocco4ever 63]

I have never been much of a drinker, nor have I ever been a smoker (tried it, didn't like it). My husband had done them both in the past, but he quit drinking before we met, then quit smoking after we met. When he told me that he preferred that I didn't drink at all I didn't really care, it just wasn't a big enough part of my life to fight for. So neither of us do either. This was all established before we married, so no surprises. Allousa mentioned that it should be discussed before hand, and that is right on.

I am a firm believer that if you married them, and you are aware of what they are doing currently, or you are aware of what they want out of you, and you marry them with that knowledge then you must accept it. Same goes for us of course. Why live on the idea that when they get here they will change? Maybe they will, maybe they won't, but it is wrong to expect it.

[Sandrila 1]

My husband is Muslim and he does drink(not much), and certainly NOT during Ramadan time.

We dont live together here in USA, yet.

My husband doesnt mind me drinking, but drinking without him or out my with friends, NO

If he knows I am drinking alone, in my home, or had a couple drinks over my girlfriend's house (during a reasonable time of day) he is ok...but going out to bars......HELL NO! NOT AT ALL..parties at people's houses whatever the occasion, is definitely going to ruffle his feathers, as he knows almost every social occasion or event is celebrated with alcohol..even after a long day of work deserves a drink.

I am not much of a drinker. I mean I do drink but responsibly...I am 36 after all with 3 children and work on my plate so really how obliviated could I possibly get on a daily basis?

His fear is that when one drinks, they lose their senses...or someone else could persuade or take advantage of me

It is true that drinking too much does make one a little more sloppy, lax and forgetful

Since I know what I can do and what I cant do with him, I usually dont push the envelope BUT being American and having lived with certain freedoms all these years, there are some instances that have to be met 1/2 way

#1 we are only human

#2 it does get damn lonely and boring without our loved ones

#3 just because one cant see (insecurity), doesnt mean we are doing things UNCLEAN or NOT RESPECTABLE

[allousa 1]

I have never been much of a drinker, nor have I ever been a smoker (tried it, didn't like it). My husband had done them both in the past, but he quit drinking before we met, then quit smoking after we met. When he told me that he preferred that I didn't drink at all I didn't really care, it just wasn't a big enough part of my life to fight for. So neither of us do either. This was all established before we married, so no surprises. Allousa mentioned that it should be discussed before hand, and that is right on.

I am a firm believer that if you married them, and you are aware of what they are doing currently, or you are aware of what they want out of you, and you marry them with that knowledge then you must accept it. Same goes for us of course. Why live on the idea that when they get here they will change? Maybe they will, maybe they won't, but it is wrong to expect it.

You are right. It's a shame that so many people go into a marriage (and I'm not talking just MENA, but many people that I know not MENA) thinking they are going to change a person and usually one of two things happen:

a) The person never changes and the marriage ends in bitterness because of all the ####### spent trying to "change" the person

or

B) They do change the person into what they "think" they want them to be and find that they don't love them anymore because they aren't the person they fell in love with.

I know that it's impossible to discuss every little thing that might arise in the future, but when you know what you aren't willing to compromise on, you know what to expect and whether the relationship is worth moving forward on.

[tetyana and ahmed 0]

Hi all. Here's why I ask this question. The other day a neighbor/good friend knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to come over and have a beer. Normally I wouldn't, but my kids are away, I was home alone and bored. So one beer leads to six and a mixed drink ...and by the time I get home I'm a bit tipsy. My fiance isn't here in the US yet(soon though), so in my drunken silliness I buzz him on yahoo and try to wake him to chat (he leaves yahoo and his cam on at night). He doesn't wake up, but my typing looked something like this "hiiiiiiiiii bbay. wkae up..oh negvfermind icant type im drunk"

So I woke up I saw what I had written, was a little embarrassed, and figured he might be upset that I had one(or a few) too many. Well, he was more than a little upset. It bothered him to the point he didn't speak to me for most of the day. He cooled off and we discussed it. Turns out he would rather I didn't drink at all. Now he's not insisting I don't, he wouldn't do that, just asking me not to. For all of you non-muslim women with muslim husbands, how does your husband feel about alcohol? Does he mind if you have some wine? Do you refrain from drinking at his request?

My husband knows than i'm drinking once in a wile. Sometimes he tells me to stop drinking, but i drink only 2-3 beers(i don't get drunk). As long as i tell him where i am and got home save, than he is okay. When i go to Egypt to see him, he is drinking with me(1-3 beers), but he get drunks with 1 beer

[Henia 11]

Hi all. Here's why I ask this question. The other day a neighbor/good friend knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to come over and have a beer. Normally I wouldn't, but my kids are away, I was home alone and bored. So one beer leads to six and a mixed drink ...and by the time I get home I'm a bit tipsy. My fiance isn't here in the US yet(soon though), so in my drunken silliness I buzz him on yahoo and try to wake him to chat (he leaves yahoo and his cam on at night). He doesn't wake up, but my typing looked something like this "hiiiiiiiiii bbay. wkae up..oh negvfermind icant type im drunk"

So I woke up I saw what I had written, was a little embarrassed, and figured he might be upset that I had one(or a few) too many. Well, he was more than a little upset. It bothered him to the point he didn't speak to me for most of the day. He cooled off and we discussed it. Turns out he would rather I didn't drink at all. Now he's not insisting I don't, he wouldn't do that, just asking me not to. For all of you non-muslim women with muslim husbands, how does your husband feel about alcohol? Does he mind if you have some wine? Do you refrain from drinking at his request?

I seriously think most Muslim men would not tolerate their women drinking, esp being drunk. It would be offensive and degrating of themselves as men (meaning they cannot control their women) ... And personally, if the man a real practising Muslim man did allow the woman to drink freely, I would think the marriage was fraud.

[Carolyn 1]

To me, the question is: does your husband have different expectations for you and for himself regarding drinking (or anything else)?

[LRA 0]

One of the questions she asked me when we first met was if I drink or if I ever had. All people in Jordan hear about is how Arab Americans go crazy when the get here or if they are raised here how wild they are (booze, drugs, and s3x). R and I won't allow alcohol to be brought into our home. I have on very rare occasions let my friends bring it over if they come over to my place...but in my parents home they respect their religious beliefs enough they can come over for dinner and not bring it. When R gets here we won't allow it in our home either. Of course we won't mind other drinking in our presence if it's at their house or when we go out. I am definitely glad we talked about it and discussed it so there are no surprises.

[polarbear 0]

Hi all. Here's why I ask this question. The other day a neighbor/good friend knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to come over and have a beer. Normally I wouldn't, but my kids are away, I was home alone and bored. So one beer leads to six and a mixed drink ...and by the time I get home I'm a bit tipsy. My fiance isn't here in the US yet(soon though), so in my drunken silliness I buzz him on yahoo and try to wake him to chat (he leaves yahoo and his cam on at night). He doesn't wake up, but my typing looked something like this "hiiiiiiiiii bbay. wkae up..oh negvfermind icant type im drunk"

So I woke up I saw what I had written, was a little embarrassed, and figured he might be upset that I had one(or a few) too many. Well, he was more than a little upset. It bothered him to the point he didn't speak to me for most of the day. He cooled off and we discussed it. Turns out he would rather I didn't drink at all. Now he's not insisting I don't, he wouldn't do that, just asking me not to. For all of you non-muslim women with muslim husbands, how does your husband feel about alcohol? Does he mind if you have some wine? Do you refrain from drinking at his request?

I seriously think most Muslim men would not tolerate their women drinking, esp being drunk. It would be offensive and degrating of themselves as men (meaning they cannot control their women) ... And personally, if the man a real practising Muslim man did allow the woman to drink freely, I would think the marriage was fraud.

That's a little harsh... i think it just depends on how religious the guy is. Kinda like with christians, and just about any religion.

[Jenn! 918]

Hi all. Here's why I ask this question. The other day a neighbor/good friend knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to come over and have a beer. Normally I wouldn't, but my kids are away, I was home alone and bored. So one beer leads to six and a mixed drink ...and by the time I get home I'm a bit tipsy. My fiance isn't here in the US yet(soon though), so in my drunken silliness I buzz him on yahoo and try to wake him to chat (he leaves yahoo and his cam on at night). He doesn't wake up, but my typing looked something like this "hiiiiiiiiii bbay. wkae up..oh negvfermind icant type im drunk"

So I woke up I saw what I had written, was a little embarrassed, and figured he might be upset that I had one(or a few) too many. Well, he was more than a little upset. It bothered him to the point he didn't speak to me for most of the day. He cooled off and we discussed it. Turns out he would rather I didn't drink at all. Now he's not insisting I don't, he wouldn't do that, just asking me not to. For all of you non-muslim women with muslim husbands, how does your husband feel about alcohol? Does he mind if you have some wine? Do you refrain from drinking at his request?

I seriously think most Muslim men would not tolerate their women drinking, esp being drunk. It would be offensive and degrating of themselves as men (meaning they cannot control their women) ... And personally, if the man a real practising Muslim man did allow the woman to drink freely, I would think the marriage was fraud.

That's a little harsh... i think it just depends on how religious the guy is. Kinda like with christians, and just about any religion.

I'm thinking that she means unless the man is very religious, then he's not a "real" Muslim.... Not a new sentiment around here...