One more question...this time on commitment

[SpiritAlight 1]

Hello Again Wonder-Full VJ Community,

So here's another rolling around in my head and heart:

What does commitment mean to you?

And how can anyone know what they'd like to be doing or where they'd like to be in say 10 years...let alone 40.

What exactly are you committed to?

Do you live for the moment or are you in constant planning mode?

Ah yes, I am on some path that feels like asking the world.

I observe the ebb and flow of life and how people evolve.

Have at it.

Have fun!

I will throw in my comments on this subject later...off to play. Will check in late tonight.

Edited August 4, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[Marilyn. 340]

I have no idea what the future will bring but I plan to stay committed to my hubby till the day I die... (not sure if that is what you are talking about ..lol)

[SpiritAlight 1]

That is definitely part of it.

Keep going...

What else *Marylin*, what else are you committed to?

And can you see the future?

Hee, hee.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sheesh Spirit, what did you have for breakfast? Zen Cereal? He he --- good points!

We are committed to grow.

To know that who we are today is not who we were when we got married. Does that make sense?

I don't think you can know you will be here or there in 10 years; it is all part of how the grow happens.

I try, sometimes with little success, to keep a balance in living for Today and planning for tomorrow. I do tend to futurize though

[Marilyn. 340]

no, I can't see the future.. I thought I covered that with I have no idea what the future will bring ...lol

I guess for the most part I kind of fly by the seat of my pants.. unless it's money then I like to make sure and plan to have enough to cover the bills etc...

[aravis227 1]

For me commitment means that I don't know where I'll be in 10 years or 40 years...but knowing that wherever it is I want Dennis to be there with me. It means knowing that the world is going to change and that we'll both grow and be different people in 20 years...but wanting to make those changes together and trusting each other to be there no matter what.

[Ontarkie 14,218]

Hmm well I feel I'm commited to my children, hubby and myself. I try to make everything I do count for something. Like make some silly new cake just because. Go out into the pool with the kids and tickle the ####### out of my daughter, cause shes a pain and wont stop hanging on me. I love her giggles.

As for the future, I see it sneaking up on me too fast kids are growing up faster then i'm ready for. planing on having a baby if God is willing. Then helping my kids grow into the ppl they are meant to be. And during that time I plan on having a long loving life with my man. Maybe take some dance classes the tango would be fun hehe.

Ok thats what I think you wanted to know but I could be off.

[thetreble 19]

Well this may throw some of you for a loop but here it goes.

I am a writer, but more accurately a poet. During my four years at university I operated under the notion, which seemed to be what my other poet friends also operated on, that I could never commit to anything but my art. And to fuel that art, there had to be an intensity that could not be matched by just one person. Therefore, the object of my life was that I never committed to anything or any one for very long. I would only commit to a lover as much as I could get out of him; I only committed to the sun for as long as it was day time. Does that make any sense? There had to always be a sense of the "new" and the "extraordinary" for my poetry to flourish. I'm sure many of my old poet friends still run their lives by this philosophy, but I also see many of them now in serious relationships and settling down.

When I met my husband, I had committed to no one as much as I found myself doing anything and everything for him. In fact, I went through a hard time because it felt like I had betrayed who I was and my writing. Writing for me was my one true love up until that point. (Don't get this confused with me not loving friends or family because that was not the case)

Any way, I got married because I only want one person for the rest of my life. My old ways never possess me to cheat, because I have in fact never done that. I do reflect back on my old loves, one in particular, but I stand to be committed to my husband. As for my art, i think it might be awhile before it truly speaks to me again

[MissStacey 1]

I'm committed to cleaning up my dog Coopers poo.

It is a huge commitment- it is a lot of poo.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Poo, huh?

Very funny...and so true.

I'm sure.

Yes taking care of doggie is a full time and long commitment.

One I was not prepped for...my affections are for the feline species.

No longer an issue as my sweetie's pup needed to be put to rest.

I am digressing.

Thanks for your responses every one.

Yes, Len...it is Vancouver. It brings out quite the philosopher in me.

Nature and great connected conversations.

Also Eckhart Tolle (Power of Now shtuff) is getting under my skin...bigger now than when I first got acquainted 8 or 9 years ago.

(If I could sit still, I could write such books too! Hee, hee.)

And TheTreble, especially your response as it is exactly what I wonder about.

Especially the part about not being true to your love of your art.

I totally get that.

Hmmmm...

I'm glad to see you have reconciled with yourself in order to be in a one on one committed relationship.

I wonder and I wonder...I am still in an adjustment period.

And I wonder how long it will take; if ever.

This renewed sense of being will help respark my fire my spirit and I will return with a new vigour.

One of the real and true me and all that needs to be in place to keep the creative juices flowing and the passion on super high...on every level.

Ha!

If I sound like some young teen looking for life's answers, know that I am just a child in a woman's body with much life experience and yet...there is always so much to learn.

That is the joy of it.

To be curious.

To not think you know every thing.

I am in school.

It is life.

[Mephys 2]

I'm committed to cleaning up my dog Coopers poo.

It is a huge commitment- it is a lot of poo.

I can relate with my cats....

Anyhow

I am commited to my husband, to make the love we share grow stronger everyday and commited to make everything possible to keep the happiness up I live day by day, with a little planning ahead, like where are we gonna be next year ? House ? Children ? That kind of stuff. Just like to think how I would like things to happen so I can work on it in the present moment.

I would love to have more time on my hands just to be able to take my time and enjoy the good times. But when I do, I don't think about anything else, I just enjoy it.

[Wishing 1]

If I may...

I have a question too related to commitment!!

I am wondering what was/is people's experience of the decision making process of commitment to their significant other ...how did they make the final decision with their significant other? Was it a decision on a whim? Was it talked about and researched for months before the paperwork sent in? Did you or your partner feel you would like to spend more time together on the same side of the border before making that commitment to marriage? And if a lot of discussion ensued what was helpful to talk about...

Any and all answers/opinions are all good!

Thanks:)

[knowledge 0]

wow! now that is a question!!!...i think there are different levels where we have or want to commit: the work (intellectual) level, the intimicy (emotional) level ( husband, friends, kids, etc) and so on...but overall for me commitment means, in all the levels I make promises as a commitment is to do what I say, that there is no disconnection between them. being consistent....If I can not keep a promise, i just say so and explain....therefore I can not cheat or some type of that stuff....which means to me i can not keep the promise but i'm not going to tell you about...the person has the right to know the truth...but even before that i have to speak up about what's going on in the relationship, of any of those levels...i mean if a problem arouses....i believe that finding the person able to hear that is a chalenge but so much rewarding when we find the right one-s...i feel blessed i can do that with my hubby, and those i call friends...(talking about the problems as they aroused, even sometimes it's really not easy)....As for the duration, well, the only thing i can say, i'm not a psychic lol but overal i commit to myself to be truthful, before being able or grownup to commit to somebody else....that way i can be attentive to the wellbeing, creativity, constructiveness to those around me, instead of hurting them...again, commitment begins in my opionion with to oneself...

[melusine 5]

Commitment mean accepting to grow up together without losing sight on each other.... to not have nothing in common in 20/40 years.

I am committed to him and to reach my goals.

I am more in a constant planning mode but when i feel good about knowing what's coming up then i can relax and enjoy the moment (rare, i admit)

So far, when i look back i am overall quite happy with what i did so far, and i don't want to reach 70 and have regrets because i didn't do this or that.

[trailmix 77]

I'm glad to see you have reconciled with yourself in order to be in a one on one committed relationship.

I wonder and I wonder...I am still in an adjustment period.

And I wonder how long it will take; if ever.

This renewed sense of being will help respark my fire my spirit and I will return with a new vigour.

One of the real and true me and all that needs to be in place to keep the creative juices flowing and the passion on super high...on every level.

Ha!

Interesting treble and spirit - about excluding commitment to everything except your art (sorry if that is a bit simplistic...but you get what i'm saying )

I find it interesting that someone would feel that having a commitment, for instance to a SO, would somehow take away from that when I would think it would only add to the richness.

So Spirit, you haven't yet answered your own question - what does commitment mean to you?