How strong is your relationship?

pinktulips2012 · August 2, 2008

Ten Tips for a Healthy Relationship

by Tomas and Joan Heartfield, Ph.D.

Relationship Counselors for singles and couples; authors of Talking Hearts, a weekly column on relationship issues; originators of Tantra For Autonomous Beings and creators of Conversations That Matter for the conscious singles community

Keeping love alive requires more than a few blessings. It requires an awareness of how very fragile love is. Every thought, word and gesture either makes love grow, or dims its brightness. This brightening process is a mystery worth knowing. One of the more practical ways to know love is through relationship. Here are Ten Tips for a Healthy Relationship:

1. Take care of yourself. Be responsible for your own health and do what you need to do to stay healthy. This means getting the right kind of exercise. We need to stay strong, be flexible, and make our hearts strong. Do yoga, tai chi, walk, jog, swim, play tennis, dance. Move your body in ways that are fun for you! Spend time in nature absorbing the blessings of the earth. Nature helps us relax and tune into the elements. We need to feel the earth under our feet, the wind in our hair and get in the water whenever possible. Eat right. Find the balanced diet that appeals to you. Most studies keep finding that a diet heavy in fresh veggies and fruits, and light on heavy protein creates the best health.

2. Take time to nurture the love. Be generous in your appreciation of your partner. Make sure you explore the many ways to express it. The way love is felt is: through loving, kind touch; through spending quality time together where you put the total focus on nurturing each other; through words of affirmation where you express the deep appreciation you have for each other; through acts of service where you do things for each other; and through thoughtful gifts that you give one another. Be creative. Have fun!

3. Inspire each other. Bring new and fresh ideas into the relationship. Try new things together. Discover what inspires you and share it with your partner.

4. Be committed to intimacy. Allow passion and the joy of being alive and having someone to share it with enliven you. Be fearless in your honesty but temper it with kindness. Spend quality time together massaging, being sensual and playing!

5. Use relationship as a way for you to understand yourself. Meet each other when challenged and share what is true for you without blame or judgment. We are all learning and growing. Be compassionate with yourself and each other

6. Use sexual loving as a way to enhance the intimate connection between you. Allow it to flow beyond the boundaries of expectation. Look into Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving. Know that the fire of passion that brought you together must be nourished and stoked.

7. Share your dreams and visions. Imagine your future and move toward it with courage and grace. Look for miracles. Stay positive as much as possible.

8. When you disagree, don't argue or bicker. Communicate carefully. Look at each other in the eye while talking. Listen to each other with respect. Acknowledge what is said. Sometimes when you listen carefully, long enough, you will find a place of agreement. If you can't agree, let the disagreement rest and talk over the problem with a trusted friend or counselor who might bring in a fresh perspective, and pray together for the highest option. When you both know you want what's best for you individually and for the relationship, you will relax and let that highest option percolate into your hearts and minds.

9. Do thoughtful things for one another. When your partner asks you for a favor, do it with a happy heart, if you possibly can.

10. Pray and ask God/Goddess for guidance daily - alone and together.