POE Officiers

[Carlawarla 1]

Just wondering what people's experience is with this ...I have a boyfriend in US not yet engaged (planning to hopefully soon). Is it crucial to say that Im visiting my boyfriend right off the bat? In any previous visits I've always said I'm visiting friends (which is also true I have friends there too) and if ever asked specifically about boyfriend I would have truthfully said yes. So how important is it to specific boyfriend right off the bat and what do you guys do...anybody say they're visiting a friend/friends?? Thanks!!

You're not brown eyes friend are you?

[zyggy 9]

Any witholding of a fact that could make a difference in the determination of eligibility for entry to the US can be considered a material misrepresentation which brings with it a lifetime ban on entry to the US. In my mind as a CBP officer, there is a difference between visiting a boyfriend and a friend in terms of your ties to the US and immigrant intent which impact a decision on eligibility. There is definitely a difference in your eligibility between your using the term friend vs. boyfriend vs. fiancee vs. spouse. Each term connotates a progressively stronger personal tie to the person and therefore to the US. If you have to ask yourself the question "Is this a problem"... it usually is.

If he is your boyfriend... use the term boyfriend.

[Wishing 1]

Hello

No I'm not Brown Eyes friend, read that post a while back and thought that was a bit much!! I've never had all that many questions at the border I find...always look them straight in the eyes and just follow their lead/mood (cuz its soooo different each time). Was just curious to see what people's experience is with this one. Usually our visits have been 1-2 weeks at most and I want to go for a longer visit in the fall (so that we have some time to figure out things before we send in the paperwork!!) 4-5 weeks so I thought that might draw more questions.

Thanks guys!

[knowledge 0]

in my opinion and experiences at the border, it's less what you say then how you say it, in the sens that they are trained to know if you lie and how much...therefore each title you use corresponds to a status of entry: boyfriend, friend=as a visitor; fiancé=K-1 and so on...so what we say has to be the truth to help them to think quickly in which category you are without any doubt for them....I liked to think (which helped me a lot to understand them and not feeling angry at the process anymore) every time at the border or any contact with officers that they are stuck in complex bureaucracy in addition to the amount of irrationalities that they have to deal on a daily basis internally that we have no clue at all...so being short, minimalistic lol in my answers, and say the truth is the better way, whatever the personal situation is...Once i remember been asked something that had nothing to do with my reality (i had to come and see my hubby in an emergency situation) and feeling frustrated that the officer went fishing in another direction of what my reality was...and him not giving me the time to explain more and letting me in lol...so they have to go to fish as well , even if it's not what we are or experience on the moment....

[Wishing 1]

Very insightful reply, knowledge. You are indeed knowledgable & wise I agree!

[Gypsyangel 11]

I got raked over the coals once for saying "friend" instead of "boyfriend".

On my part, it felt innocent in that we were "dating" , but I didn't really consider him my boyfriend at the time. But when the border dude realized I was visiting a guy (which I wasn't really trying to hide), he was pissed and he told me off. I thought he was going to deny me. But then he said, let's start over. And he started right at the beginning with the questions. When he got to "Who are you visiting?", I responded on cue, "my boyfriend". I felt like a little kid being reprimanded by my Dad.

Of course, I got the same guy the next couple of times through Pearson. What are the chances of that? I made sure I said 'my boyfriend"! That guy plain scared me.

I would say, just tell the truth. There's no point in lying. I don't think it gets you much and the downside isn't worth it. My $0.02!

[knowledge 0]

Very insightful reply, knowledge. You are indeed knowledgable & wise I agree!

aww! that's sweet, thanks, but it's only a bit more 'practice' and more advanced in the researches i had to do, as well as trying to reach the right attitude, for ex understanding or sympathizing with them as well for things we do not know or they being obliged not to tell us...in their respect to security matters, even if they are harsh on us with no apparent reason...if we stay calm, they might hear what we have to say in order to correct the situations...ok i'm too idealistic maybe but i had most of the time interesting contact with them...

I couldn't think straight in the beggining with so much abstract information to absorb and our respective situations to deal with:here and there...sometimes we also do not have the time and this site helped a lot to save it...so i understand what you feel right now.

[brown_eyes 0]

Oof. FYI, my friend is still mad at me about that night.

I think that the border officials are probably so used to hearing "friends" and knowing that it means "boyfriends" they are going to question you no matter what, so why not just be up front? That night with my friend she said 'friend' and when he uncovered there was a bf that's when all hell broke loose. Friends/boyfriends - I don't think can be treated as simple semantics when here we are sitting here trying to play by their rules. I think they've just heard it too many times.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Like others have stated, POE officers are trained to find people lying. They ask questions a certain way and are listening to see how you answer it. for example when i returned to the USA from Canada this summer, the POE gal asked why i was in Canada? I replied, I'm Canadian! She in a very stern voice stated, "well that doesn't answer my question, now does it?" I said, you are correct, i was visiting my family--always keeping eye contact, as I have nothing to hide. Many of us complain that POE officers are rude and not overly friendly, well they do have an important job to do. How would it feel if you were the POE officer and something horrible were to happen and they traced it back to you? You let the terrorists in? yes some can use a bit more tact,but who is to say they are always that way? they may just be using various techniques.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

I have always said "boyfriend" and never had a problem. I was asked once(going into the States)

"when y'all getting married"? I laughed and said "I don't know yet" I'm not engaged yet, but didn't tell him that. He didn't have a problem with my answer & moved on to other questions.

I agree with the person previous that mentioned eye contact. Body language speaks so loud, and yes, they do look for things like body language/how you answer the questions. Don't lie.

[ChasingAmy 0]

I always said I was going to see my girlfriend. After 4 years they started asking me "Aren't you getting married yet?" A week after they asked that I got engaged and started saying "I'm going to see my fiancee and we have just filed for a K1 Visa but have a while before I get my interview in Montreal" This shows I'm coming back to Canada, legally doing everything properly, and telling the truth.

[ophelia783 0]

I said 'friend' until I was literally going through the POE to move down here.

[antda 13]

Hi Wishing,

Hmm...this question takes me back to memory lane a couple of years...

1)When my boyfriend visited me frequently in Canada, he would always say at the border that he was visiting a friend.

2)When we crossed over the border together when I went to the US for a visit (POE), we said that we were boyfriend/girlfriend, even though we were engaged at that time. No wonder why they questioned us then for 2hrs!

3)At the AOS interview we were married, so we were obviously husband and wife then.

4)We're still married now, and yes, we're still happily husband and wife now.

Hope this helps (or makes you laugh, anyways). Good luck on your immigration situation and have fun visiting your friend/boyfriend.

Ant

Just wondering what people's experience is with this ...I have a boyfriend in US not yet engaged (planning to hopefully soon). Is it crucial to say that Im visiting my boyfriend right off the bat? In any previous visits I've always said I'm visiting friends (which is also true I have friends there too) and if ever asked specifically about boyfriend I would have truthfully said yes. So how important is it to specific boyfriend right off the bat and what do you guys do...anybody say they're visiting a friend/friends?? Thanks!!

Edited August 15, 2008 by AntandD

[zyggy 9]

Hi Wishing,

Hmm...this question takes me back to memory lane a couple of years...

1)When my boyfriend visited me frequently in Canada, he would always say at the border that he was visiting a friend.

2)When we crossed over the border together when I went to the US for a visit (POE), we said that we were boyfriend/girlfriend, even though we were engaged at that time. No wonder why they questioned us then for 2hrs!

3)At the AOS interview we were married, so we were obviously husband and wife then.

4)We're still married now, and yes, we're still happily husband and wife now.

Hope this helps (or makes you laugh, anyways). Good luck on your immigration situation and have fun visiting your friend/boyfriend.

Ant

Just wondering what people's experience is with this ...I have a boyfriend in US not yet engaged (planning to hopefully soon). Is it crucial to say that Im visiting my boyfriend right off the bat? In any previous visits I've always said I'm visiting friends (which is also true I have friends there too) and if ever asked specifically about boyfriend I would have truthfully said yes. So how important is it to specific boyfriend right off the bat and what do you guys do...anybody say they're visiting a friend/friends?? Thanks!!

And were you wearing a ring when you claimed to be boyfriend/girlfriend, perhaps?

[antda 13]

Hi Ziggy,

Answer to your question: No, I wasn't wearing the ring at that time. In fact, I had put it in my bag somewhere, as it was a bit too loose on my finger and I didn't want to lose it when we were packing the stuff into the car (yes, I almost lost it a couple of times before), and it was not so as to hide it from immigration officials. Funny though, when they quickly searched my bag (yes, they actually did that), they didn't find the ring in there either. I guess I had hid it pretty well indeed, without meaning to do so....

Ant

And were you wearing a ring when you claimed to be boyfriend/girlfriend, perhaps?

Edited August 16, 2008 by AntandD