Overwhelming sadness

[Ontarkie 14,304]

Why are you waiting for him to give you an answer, of course he's not going to say hes leaving hes got you where he wants you. He can do what he wants and say a few sweet words later and you will accept it over and over. You may not think you are accepting his behavior but you are every time you let him back or tell him your willing to work on your marriage that tells him he's off the hook.

You say you have the proof but yet your still there, he does still have control over you cause your sitting there yet again waiting on his decision. Be safe and see what hes doing to you soon you wont be able to think for yourself.

[amiquechu 0]

I'd say you've earned the right to do some stuff like this.......

good ideas

[Mags 112]

He won't alter his ways - you will never be able to change him or "cure" him.

Move on.

You're better than him and deserve someone who will love you and can be trusted.

Good luck.

[DairyFarmer 1]

I think like most of us when faced with issues, you already know the answer, when you are ready you will acknowledge it. In the mean time, my thoughts are with you.

Edited August 1, 2008 by DairyFarmer

[tom&tata 2]

If he does not want to change his way, what do you expect from "trying to make the marriage work"? It might be good for a while but the same problem will happen again.

[deadwood 0]

I will find out this weekend whether my husband is going to leave me or whether he is actually going to try and make this marriage work.

My breaking point came when I found out about his inappropriate interactions with a third "other" woman in the space of eight weeks, despite the fact that I had asked him repeatedly not to disrespect me and our marriage in that way. He says I am smothering him, making him feel trapped, caged and that I'm being overly-sensitive, overly jealous and overly possessive (just because I called him on it). (that's what I want to do to him right now) Actually he doesn't even know that I know about the third woman!! Oh and yeah.... he has no idea that I contacted two of the women so I have "the evidence"....

So the ball is in his court now. I will know by the end of this weekend if I am worth anything whatsoever to him or whether he is going to just walk away.

I know now that he suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is a pathological liar and a serial womaniser. Not looking so good - he doesn't want to be held accountable for his actions.

Why are you the one who's waiting around to "find out". ? His loser ### should be waiting to find out if you're gonna keep him. Don't wait, you tell him what YOU are gonna do.

I agree 100%

[chri'stina 190]

Maybe you already know everything people are saying but just wanted to see it here too. I agree with a lot of what people have said. I don't know if you don't believe you should end the relationship for a reason like not believing in divorce or something. This is not just his marriage, it's yours too and you should have control over what you do about it, you can't control what he does. And waiting to let him give the verdict on whether he wants to continue or not does not sound good for your health. I have said in your others threads that you don't deserve to be treated this way. I hope you realize it soon.

[raphael7546 0]

It is better to have loved & lost then to live with a jerk the rest of your life!

I had a control freak for 16 yrs in my previous marriage and He lowered my self esteem so much that he had me believing everything was MY fault. Only when a true friend pointed out all the problems did I realize I was worth more than living a false Lie of a marriage did I get out.

It was hard, I'll admit it, ( my ex was /is a millionaire and I gave up everything ( all money, homes, just took a few items that were mine from before I met him, and my childs things) I went from living in a 5000 sq ft home with inground pool on estate property to a 700 sq ft apartment in a seedy area of town ( my daughter's playroom at our house was bigger than the whole apartment)

Someone will come along (when the time is right) who will cherish you for who you are. Not try to control you, lie to you and belittle you.

You are worth it!! Remember that!!!

If you need to talk PM me and I'll give you my number.

Stay Strong!

Lily

[Jenn! 918]

I'm so sad for you. I really don't understand how people can be like this. Where is his conscience?

So you've confronted him, but didn't tell him yet about the evidence you have?

I'm so sorry. Take care.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I think the best advice to the OP, is to re-read your post, and pretend your best friend wrote it. What would you tell her to do? Cause that's what you know is in your heart, the right answer and what you should do.

Excellent advice.

To the OP, I'm sorry for what you are going through. May you find peace in your life.

Edited August 1, 2008 by Jabberwocky

[franklie 0]

Don't you dare fall for that BS he is spewing. Make him take responsibility for his actions and stop trying to make you feel like it is your fault.

IMO, he is not worthy of you. Be strong.

Amen! My sentiments exactly. It sounds like all the blame lies with him. It sounds like he wasn't ready to be married, and dragged you into a bad situation. Why spend the rest of your life in a miserable relationship? Dump the f*cker.

To add to SKTEAMO's post, get yourself checked for STDs and IF you should feel the crazy need to get intimate with him make sure that his tallywacker is covered.

Be safe!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Not to be glib, but dump that zero and get yourself a hero!

Or at least dump that zero. Life is too short to put up with that kinda $#it.

[Ken y Leidys 20]

This is terrible. I had to deal with a similar situation in my own life. 2 years ago, my marriage ended after 4 years of dealing with;

1. My ex-wifes decision to join an Eastern Cult - which I had to know EVERYTHING about.

2. My ex-wifes decision for us to adopt a child for $25,000.00 cash from Guatemala.

3. My ex-wifes frustration that I was unhappy spending time with her angry/catty friends every Friday night.

2 years later, I know that I am definitely in a better place. She was sick with Systemic Lupus and Cancer, and I no longer have to worry about where she is, or how she is doing.

2 years later, I no longer have to cook her meals, and put up with her demanding to, "Get Up and Put Away the Food AND WASH THE DISHES!".

2 years later, I get to go to Colombia and be with someone completely new, that is happy to be with me, and doesn't put me down in front of her friends and family, etc. She knew how to bring out the worst in me, and it really taught me how to control my anger, not give in to dangerous Religious Cults, and focus on the future rather than dwell in the past.

You too can make it through this difficult time. PM me if you need more help with this. I have been to hell and back, and life certainly is much better for me now.

-Ken

[Welshcookie 17]

Not to be glib, but dump that zero and get yourself a hero!

Or at least dump that zero. Life is too short to put up with that kinda $#it.

I you, Big Agnes

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Not to be glib, but dump that zero and get yourself a hero!

Or at least dump that zero. Life is too short to put up with that kinda $#it.

I you, Big Agnes

Ricki Lake was one of my guilty pleasures...