Fil/American Woman Speaks Up About Mail Order Brides

[franklie 0]

In the process of applying for a mail order bride, "the husband holds all the cards." The women are told virtually nothing about the male customer, only what he provides. The ads often advertise "seeking one special woman." The rest is to satisfy that need.

After a man responds to the ad, correspondence takes place until he chooses to meet her. Some IMO's set up packaged tours to the foreign countries to meet a wide selection of women.

The men who purchase these women are financially secure, but seek a woman from a poor country because it makes him look more attractive to her.

Many of these women live in emerging or turbulent countries where jobs and education for women and girls are little. The movies make American men look like the perfect game. The opportunity to leave the country looks twice as tempting, to be able to leave and pursue their dreams.

Often there is a push from home to support the family. By being married she relieves the strain at home. The woman is often searching for a better life.

"The perception of American men, by the women, is that they make good husbands, that the men are faithful to their wives. That the American men are like 'movie stars.' The men perceive the women (as having) traditional values. The American woman is not seen as traditional. These brides are homemakers. That all they want is to be a wife."

The men who order brides are generally white, with at least two years of college education. (True dat)

A couple of comments from the perspective of a white male, who has travelled a bit. The comments above are pretty stereotypical thoughts from both sides of the relationship. There are threads on the VisaJourney forums that support what was written above.

The countries that I see in terms of "Mail Order Brides" are Phillipines, Colombia, Russia. Mexico with its proximity to the US border has females coming to the border cities (Tijuana, Ciudad Juarez, Nogales among others) where they are more likely to find a "gringo" husband.

My wife and I recently had dinner with a friend of ours who lives in Mexico and our friend reiterated the part about "gringos" making good faithful husbands and loving dads.I secretly rolled my eyes at that because I know that there are American men just like men anywhere in the world who can be a-holes to their wives, who can be lazy-a$$ SOBs.

But OTOH from my limited experience, those men that actively seek out foreign brides generally are NOT those bottom of the barrel type guys.

[David-and-Mae 15]

When I was still a young lady, I saw a movie about Mail Order Brides in the Philippines. The American men literally pay for their future brides. In that movie, the marriage didn't work because the USC turned out to be an abusive, saddist, SOB husband. I also have heard stories about some Americans who will only marry their women thru Mail Order Bride so that they can insure them and then kill them. Growing up with all these things made me scared about Americans, hence, I didn't think I'd be marrying one.

I met David thru Cherry Blossoms, which is - I think - considered as International Marriage Broker due to the fact that male members have to pay for membership just so they can correspond with their prospects. We knew that some people will raise eyebrows on us but heck, we didn't care. Before we have decided to apply for a visa for me so I can be here in the US, we made sure we have spent enough time to know each other better. We also wanted to make sure that we were doing it because we truly love one another and not because I needed a rich, American guy so that I can escape Philippines or he needed a Filipina wife who will be submissive and devote herself just to him. It is all about how well we get along and how much love, care and trust we can give to each other. I believe we did the right thing. And with all the harships and trials that we had to pass, it makes us not to take our relationship for granted.

--Mae

[one...two...tree 2,762]

When I was still a young lady, I saw a movie about Mail Order Brides in the Philippines. The American men literally pay for their future brides. In that movie, the marriage didn't work because the USC turned out to be an abusive, saddist, SOB husband. I also have heard stories about some Americans who will only marry their women thru Mail Order Bride so that they can insure them and then kill them. Growing up with all these things made me scared about Americans, hence, I didn't think I'd be marrying one.

I met David thru Cherry Blossoms, which is - I think - considered as International Marriage Broker due to the fact that male members have to pay for membership just so they can correspond with their prospects. We knew that some people will raise eyebrows on us but heck, we didn't care. Before we have decided to apply for a visa for me so I can be here in the US, we made sure we have spent enough time to know each other better. We also wanted to make sure that we were doing it because we truly love one another and not because I needed a rich, American guy so that I can escape Philippines or he needed a Filipina wife who will be submissive and devote herself just to him. It is all about how well we get along and how much love, care and trust we can give to each other. I believe we did the right thing. And with all the harships and trials that we had to pass, it makes us not to take our relationship for granted.

--Mae

That's awesome, Mae! Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure there are many many success stories from couples who used an international dating service.

Edited July 31, 2008 by Jabberwocky

[macutelit 0]

When I was still a young lady, I saw a movie about Mail Order Brides in the Philippines. The American men literally pay for their future brides. In that movie, the marriage didn't work because the USC turned out to be an abusive, saddist, SOB husband. I also have heard stories about some Americans who will only marry their women thru Mail Order Bride so that they can insure them and then kill them. Growing up with all these things made me scared about Americans, hence, I didn't think I'd be marrying one.

I met David thru Cherry Blossoms, which is - I think - considered as International Marriage Broker due to the fact that male members have to pay for membership just so they can correspond with their prospects. We knew that some people will raise eyebrows on us but heck, we didn't care. Before we have decided to apply for a visa for me so I can be here in the US, we made sure we have spent enough time to know each other better. We also wanted to make sure that we were doing it because we truly love one another and not because I needed a rich, American guy so that I can escape Philippines or he needed a Filipina wife who will be submissive and devote herself just to him. It is all about how well we get along and how much love, care and trust we can give to each other. I believe we did the right thing. And with all the harships and trials that we had to pass, it makes us not to take our relationship for granted.

--Mae

[BJZags 17]

That's awesome, Mae! Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure there are many many success stories from couples who used an international dating service.

Ditto to what Mae said, her story is our story too. Jen and I met on FH, just shy of a mail-order-site. Her rich American turned out to be a teacher, and my submissive filipino does whatever the heck she wants! She frequently jokes that marrying for love was a serious mistake!

[hellifeyeno 0]

That's awesome, Mae! Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure there are many many success stories from couples who used an international dating service.

Ditto to what Mae said, her story is our story too. Jen and I met on FH, just shy of a mail-order-site. Her rich American turned out to be a teacher, and my submissive filipino does whatever the heck she wants! She frequently jokes that marrying for love was a serious mistake!

you know what? This mail order bride stuff is a bunch of bunk. Maybe ten years ago this could happen. but with the internet now there is no reason to pay to meet someone anymore. You can do it on many traditional type dating sites. But the mith continues.

I have been single for 15 years and all of my friends and me also have used dating sites, such as Match .com and others. What about e Harmony.com that site charges a huge fee to match you up with others. but because they just match you up with others within the US they are not concidered a marriage broker. C'mon folks. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE???????

You want to know why men form the USA search other places to find a nice girl to marry. For starteres maybe he dont want t a girl with a ring in her nose. maybe he dont want a girl whom is self centered and so leberated like many american girls. maybe he dont want girls with tattoooos all over thier body. maybe he dont want to listen to rap music. Do I need to say more?

fililpina's are traditional girls, much like the girls I used to know. Lets face it guys. We are very fortunate to have a filipina. Make no mistake about it.

I doubt very much you will find too many people if lucky to have a filipina. would abuse her in anyway. Yes I watch that ####### on TV it makes a good news story. but the fact of the matter is. its a very very small percentage. Most end up in happy marriages. Thats a fact Jack

[I'm Gone 60]

LL Bean or Amazon would have been SO MUCH easier. LOL

[speedo 0]

you know what? This mail order bride stuff is a bunch of bunk. Maybe ten years ago this could happen. but with the internet now there is no reason to pay to meet someone anymore. You can do it on many traditional type dating sites. But the mith continues.

I have been single for 15 years and all of my friends and me also have used dating sites, such as Match .com and others. What about e Harmony.com that site charges a huge fee to match you up with others. but because they just match you up with others within the US they are not concidered a marriage broker. C'mon folks. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE???????

You want to know why men form the USA search other places to find a nice girl to marry. For starteres maybe he dont want t a girl with a ring in her nose. maybe he dont want a girl whom is self centered and so leberated like many american girls. maybe he dont want girls with tattoooos all over thier body. maybe he dont want to listen to rap music. Do I need to say more?

fililpina's are traditional girls, much like the girls I used to know. Lets face it guys. We are very fortunate to have a filipina. Make no mistake about it.

I doubt very much you will find too many people if lucky to have a filipina. would abuse her in anyway. Yes I watch that ####### on TV it makes a good news story. but the fact of the matter is. its a very very small percentage. Most end up in happy marriages. Thats a fact Jack

Filipinas being traditional? in what way? Define traditional? Joining dating sites to me is not being traditional. Online dating is not being traditional. Also, there are tons of Filipinas who are pierced, tattooed, and who listens to RAP. I know this because I was born and raised in Manila. I am not a traditional Filipina nor my friends back in Manila. Some of my friend back there are more liberated than me. When I migrated with my family here in the US about 11 years ago, I fitted right in. Dude, where have you been? Maybe you are talking about Filipinas who live in the sticks and are so naive.

What's wrong being liberated? Not all women in the US has pierced or tattooed or likes to listen to Rap music. There are still plenty of American women or FOB immigrants from other countries that are traditional.

BTW, I am a tattooed Filipino American and, I used to have 11 ear piercings. I also listens to rap but not my preferred type of music. I love Linkin Park and Green Day!

[hellifeyeno 0]

you know what? This mail order bride stuff is a bunch of bunk. Maybe ten years ago this could happen. but with the internet now there is no reason to pay to meet someone anymore. You can do it on many traditional type dating sites. But the mith continues.

I have been single for 15 years and all of my friends and me also have used dating sites, such as Match .com and others. What about e Harmony.com that site charges a huge fee to match you up with others. but because they just match you up with others within the US they are not concidered a marriage broker. C'mon folks. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE???????

You want to know why men form the USA search other places to find a nice girl to marry. For starteres maybe he dont want t a girl with a ring in her nose. maybe he dont want a girl whom is self centered and so leberated like many american girls. maybe he dont want girls with tattoooos all over thier body. maybe he dont want to listen to rap music. Do I need to say more?

fililpina's are traditional girls, much like the girls I used to know. Lets face it guys. We are very fortunate to have a filipina. Make no mistake about it.

I doubt very much you will find too many people if lucky to have a filipina. would abuse her in anyway. Yes I watch that ####### on TV it makes a good news story. but the fact of the matter is. its a very very small percentage. Most end up in happy marriages. Thats a fact Jack

Filipinas being traditional? in what way? Define traditional? Joining dating sites to me is not being traditional. Online dating is not being traditional. Also, there are tons of Filipinas who are pierced, tattooed, and who listens to RAP. I know this because I was born and raised in Manila. I am not a traditional Filipina nor my friends back in Manila. Some of my friend back there are more liberated than me. When I migrated with my family here in the US about 11 years ago, I fitted right in. Dude, where have you been? Maybe you are talking about Filipinas who live in the sticks and are so naive.

What's wrong being liberated? Not all women in the US has pierced or tattooed or likes to listen to Rap music. There are still plenty of American women or FOB immigrants from other countries that are traditional.

BTW, I am a tattooed Filipino American and, I used to have 11 ear piercings. I also listens to rap but not my preferred type of music. I love Linkin Park and Green Day!

yes and you are one of them. but have a nice day

[shes 0]

this is a warning sign for all of us. girls especially needs to be very sure they know their partner's background, even why they fail marriages before. this is a serious concern obviously, filipinas are very giving to the point of even theres nothing left for her. the Philippine culture and traditions are way too different from the cultures of other western countries.

it sounds hurtful but its true that some filipinas now adays are stepping down to their level in exchange for a rewarding life but there are still filipinas that are very special, somewhat says the modern maria clara. they deserve to be treated best.

[David-and-Mae 15]

That's awesome, Mae! Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure there are many many success stories from couples who used an international dating service.

Thanks, brother! Like what I always tell my husband "If I will be given the chance to make my life different from what I have now or choose another path, I'd still choose the path where I have met you and go through all these hurdles and obstacles again." Meeting David has been and will always be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Who would have thought our long distance relationship will have a happy ending? It's providence... I say it is.

[Donna A 4]

That's awesome, Mae! Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure there are many many success stories from couples who used an international dating service.

Ditto to what Mae said, her story is our story too. Jen and I met on FH, just shy of a mail-order-site. Her rich American turned out to be a teacher, and my submissive filipino does whatever the heck she wants! She frequently jokes that marrying for love was a serious mistake!

you know what? This mail order bride stuff is a bunch of bunk. Maybe ten years ago this could happen. but with the internet now there is no reason to pay to meet someone anymore. You can do it on many traditional type dating sites. But the mith continues.

I have been single for 15 years and all of my friends and me also have used dating sites, such as Match .com and others. What about e Harmony.com that site charges a huge fee to match you up with others. but because they just match you up with others within the US they are not concidered a marriage broker. C'mon folks. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE???????

You want to know why men form the USA search other places to find a nice girl to marry. For starteres maybe he dont want t a girl with a ring in her nose. maybe he dont want a girl whom is self centered and so leberated like many american girls. maybe he dont want girls with tattoooos all over thier body. maybe he dont want to listen to rap music. Do I need to say more?

fililpina's are traditional girls, much like the girls I used to know. Lets face it guys. We are very fortunate to have a filipina. Make no mistake about it.

I doubt very much you will find too many people if lucky to have a filipina. would abuse her in anyway. Yes I watch that ####### on TV it makes a good news story. but the fact of the matter is. its a very very small percentage. Most end up in happy marriages. Thats a fact Jack

hey, im an american woman with nothing pierced but my ears....no tatoos....hate rap music and dont have any problems being a house wife. very traditional i must say.