What has been your experience

[JaHoney 3]

Hey Ladies, i was hanging over in Sub saharan for awhile, because by the time i got off work and got back online everyone was gone and saw this post... i found it to be quite interesting and wanted to know if any of the yaadies, had experienced or heard of fellow yaadies who have experienced this: Here is the thread copied and pasted in its entirety:

I went to an interesting party Friday night . I wasn't sure what kind of party it was. Here the Nigerias have at least 2 partys going on each week-end. I just made sure to pick up the mandatory case of beer on the way. Being a female I am suppose to bring food. But the Nigerian women here can cook circles around me so I don't even attempt to compete.

It was a going back home party for a family friend from Nigeria. Six years ago ( at age 24) he had won the immigration lottery and came to the USA. I still remember his first day here. I drove him to the SS office to pick up paperwork. He couldn't stop smiling he was so happy to be here and thought everything was beautiful. He found work right away...started on his American dream. He got a apartment , became a American citizenship. He had a couple of girlfriends but nothing serious. Because of the type of visa he had there was no pressure to marry to stay in the country. I asked him why was he moving home. ....in his words.

"Life is no good here. I work like a dog they give me money...but then they take more back(bills)"

He said that after visiting home last year he saw that his friends and family were living a better life then him. Yes things are harder in Nigeria but unless you actually lived there ( not just visited ) it hard to explain.. I guess that there is just no where like home. I know that when I do go home to visit .. I might feel stressed at the time, but I alway miss it and can't wait to return.

His cousin told me that he really missed the culture in Nigeria and felt that his life had more joy in Nigeria.

It was a bittersweet party, because I could tell some people thought he was crazy to leave while most really envied him. One of the older men said that if he didn't have a mortgage, wife and kids to support he would go home also. Alot of others where nodding in agreement.

After your SO rose colored glassed come off do they want to return home. If so after how long?... and do they feel like they can go home again to live not visit?

Are any of the couple here making actual plans to return home one day to live..(not just wishful thinking) We have a business that we want to run in Senegal and have started working on business plans and contacts. It might never happen because we must save up the money or/and find financing, but it is definitely a goal.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hey Honey;

It's always been my plan to go back and live once I'm 50. My parents go back and forth now from they were in their 40s for long period of time. I had the opportunity to work in Jamaica for a year back in the early 90s and I loved it. I didn't want to leave, but my parents were not there and I missed them and my siblings baddddddd, so I returned to the states. It took me about a month to get adjusted. Our plan is to build a house where he's from. When my dad came to the states in 1973, the first thing he started working on is building a house back home. He told me under no circumstances to bury him in the states when his time comes. He wants to be in his backyard under the breadfruit tree.

[JaHoney 3]

Hey Honey;

It's always been my plan to go back and live once I'm 50. My parents go back and forth now from they were in their 40s for long period of time. I had the opportunity to work in Jamaica for a year back in the early 90s and I loved it. I didn't want to leave, but my parents were not there and I missed them and my siblings baddddddd, so I returned to the states. It took me about a month to get adjusted. Our plan is to build a house where he's from. When my dad came to the states in 1973, the first thing he started working on is building a house back home. He told me under no circumstances to bury him in the states when his time comes. He wants to be in his backyard under the breadfruit tree.

Lawny, i see many people in JA build houses, is it that cheap or easy to build a house in JA as opposed to how expensive it is to build one in the States?

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hey Honey;

It's always been my plan to go back and live once I'm 50. My parents go back and forth now from they were in their 40s for long period of time. I had the opportunity to work in Jamaica for a year back in the early 90s and I loved it. I didn't want to leave, but my parents were not there and I missed them and my siblings baddddddd, so I returned to the states. It took me about a month to get adjusted. Our plan is to build a house where he's from. When my dad came to the states in 1973, the first thing he started working on is building a house back home. He told me under no circumstances to bury him in the states when his time comes. He wants to be in his backyard under the breadfruit tree.

Lawny, i see many people in JA build houses, is it that cheap or easy to build a house in JA as opposed to how expensive it is to build one in the States?

It depends...when my dad built his house in 1982 he paid $7500/US to have it done. 4 bedrooms, 2 bath, 2 kitchen front and back varanda and the robbed him because he was not their to supervise the work. The house was suppose to be 2 level, but they made it a flat and took the rest of the materials. My father settled in court with the guy in 1989, because the Judge was going to lock him up.

It also depends on if you already own the land. If you need to find property to build the house that's where it's going to cost you. But it is a lot less expensive that building in the states. My aunt paid $150,000/US for her 10 bedroom house with 10 bathroom...whyyyyyyyyy. If I had the money I would build a house up in the hill in Mobay near Coral Gardens. I have a few friends in that area and the view of the sea is breath taking.

Honey;

My friends in Jamaica live 100% better than I do. They have helpers at their house. All the have to do is come home from work and relax. They don't even have to cook or wash or clean. They save more money in a month than I can in 6 months. All of my friends in Jamaica own their homes and have a few cars. When I tell them how much I pay for mortgage they tell me I'm crazy. You kow what you can do with that kind of money in Jamaica. When they come to the states to visit the can take a holiday for 6 weeks or more at a time. My cousin is here now and her job allowed her to take 8 weeks off with pay for VACATION....I only WISH my job would do that. The bark at 2 weeks leave.

[JaHoney 3]

Hey Honey;

It's always been my plan to go back and live once I'm 50. My parents go back and forth now from they were in their 40s for long period of time. I had the opportunity to work in Jamaica for a year back in the early 90s and I loved it. I didn't want to leave, but my parents were not there and I missed them and my siblings baddddddd, so I returned to the states. It took me about a month to get adjusted. Our plan is to build a house where he's from. When my dad came to the states in 1973, the first thing he started working on is building a house back home. He told me under no circumstances to bury him in the states when his time comes. He wants to be in his backyard under the breadfruit tree.

Lawny, i see many people in JA build houses, is it that cheap or easy to build a house in JA as opposed to how expensive it is to build one in the States?

It depends...when my dad built his house in 1982 he paid $7500/US to have it done. 4 bedrooms, 2 bath, 2 kitchen front and back varanda and the robbed him because he was not their to supervise the work. The house was suppose to be 2 level, but they made it a flat and took the rest of the materials. My father settled in court with the guy in 1989, because the Judge was going to lock him up.

It also depends on if you already own the land. If you need to find property to build the house that's where it's going to cost you. But it is a lot less expensive that building in the states. My aunt paid $150,000/US for her 10 bedroom house with 10 bathroom...whyyyyyyyyy. If I had the money I would build a house up in the hill in Mobay near Coral Gardens. I have a few friends in that area and the view of the sea is breath taking.

Honey;

My friends in Jamaica live 100% better than I do. They have helpers at their house. All the have to do is come home from work and relax. They don't even have to cook or wash or clean. They save more money in a month than I can in 6 months. All of my friends in Jamaica own their homes and have a few cars. When I tell them how much I pay for mortgage they tell me I'm crazy. You kow what you can do with that kind of money in Jamaica. When they come to the states to visit the can take a holiday for 6 weeks or more at a time. My cousin is here now and her job allowed her to take 8 weeks off with pay for VACATION....I only WISH my job would do that. The bark at 2 weeks leave.

Okay so im clear, that is 7,500 dollars to build a house!!!!! back in 82...lawd... maybe...lawd willing me and D, last into retirement we can move to JA, and build a home.

[TYMOORE 0]

Honey,

My SO owns his own home, his car, and has animals that he tends to daily. I once asked him why he wanted to leave and what if he comes to the U.S. and its not what he's expecting it to be? His answer was that he just wanted to be where ever I was and that he would adjust. He had orginally asked me if I would move there but that isn't something I could even consider at this time. There's no place like home. I really love JA and there's things I enjoy there that I don't get here. But when I'm there I do start to miss home. I don't want to leave him but I start to miss my things that I'm use to doing and having on a daily basis. His family is going to look after his home and car for him. Then he says whenever we go to JA to visit we will have somewhere to stay. Which is a plus. I'm praying that he doesn't have a hard time adjusting once he's here...

Edited July 31, 2008 by TYMOORE

[Marlita 0]

MY husband and I plan on returning to Jamaica too. He has property there in Negril and we went to visit it. He recently had it cleaned up before he left. He's planning on getting a loan from the National Housing Trust to build. He knows lots of builders in the area. Actually the house we stayed in was getting worked on while I was there. These guys have been building houses for his folks for awhile and are very trust worthy. I hear that stealing an scamming is pretty common there when building a house.

Currently my husband needs schooling and training here in the US to be more marketable there in JA. Thats one of the main reasons we are starting out here. I own my house here and can rent it for enough to supplement our income in JA, plus I can work there easily. But my husband would not have the education or skill to get a decent job there without having to work from the bottom up. We made a 5 year plan to be able to go back there. We would both like to raise our child there so they learn the culture and speak patois. Thats a big concern for me.

I find that life is easier here in the states for me, just cause I am use to it here. I make a decent living and I am familiar with everything. Its harder in JA, but I am "internally" happier. I dont know what it is but I am at a peace when there. I feel like its a long lost place of familiarity that I am getting reacquainted with. I have never felt like I belong to the "American" culture, and even though I dont belong to the JA culture from birth I belong there from my heart.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

MY husband and I plan on returning to Jamaica too. He has property there in Negril and we went to visit it. He recently had it cleaned up before he left. He's planning on getting a loan from the National Housing Trust to build. He knows lots of builders in the area. Actually the house we stayed in was getting worked on while I was there. These guys have been building houses for his folks for awhile and are very trust worthy. I hear that stealing an scamming is pretty common there when building a house.

Currently my husband needs schooling and training here in the US to be more marketable there in JA. Thats one of the main reasons we are starting out here. I own my house here and can rent it for enough to supplement our income in JA, plus I can work there easily. But my husband would not have the education or skill to get a decent job there without having to work from the bottom up. We made a 5 year plan to be able to go back there. We would both like to raise our child there so they learn the culture and speak patois. Thats a big concern for me.

I find that life is easier here in the states for me, just cause I am use to it here. I make a decent living and I am familiar with everything. Its harder in JA, but I am "internally" happier. I dont know what it is but I am at a peace when there. I feel like its a long lost place of familiarity that I am getting reacquainted with. I have never felt like I belong to the "American" culture, and even though I dont belong to the JA culture from birth I belong there from my heart.

Lita; I'm so glad you typed this. So, many Jamaican get offended if you ask them "are you comming to the states to better you life"...there's nothing wrong with that. My best friend left Jamaica in '97 went to nursing school here in D.C. made a ton of money (because we have a nursing shortage)...went back to Jamaica, strated working then opened a nursing training program in Kingston and is doing DAMN well. Lita, my son was born here and has a Jamaican accent and he speaks and understand PATWAH with no problems. So, does my neice. Everytime they here reggae he'll ask me if it's Bob Marley. Lita, you're not a born Jamaica or did I missunderstand?

[*JG* 2]

We have discussed this over and over again. For us, it just doesn't make sense.

I think part of the problem is that his family and friends are driving us crazy. If we didn't have this complete hatred of everything Jamaica right now, I think our opinions would be different at this point. I do think that will change. I hope the change is for the better.

We talk of going back to visit next summer. I think that will make or break how we are currently thinking. For everyone's sake, I hope it's a make kind of thing.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

We have discussed this over and over again. For us, it just doesn't make sense.

I think part of the problem is that his family and friends are driving us crazy. If we didn't have this complete hatred of everything Jamaica right now, I think our opinions would be different at this point. I do think that will change. I hope the change is for the better.

We talk of going back to visit next summer. I think that will make or break how we are currently thinking. For everyone's sake, I hope it's a make kind of thing.

JG a friend of mine just came back from Jamaica last night with her hubby. He was the one that left without telling anyone in his family and he didn't call them until he got to Baltimore. Well, for the last 5 years it's been hell for them. She would change the house number and her husband would give it out again. I told him, when he goes to Jamaica he better have a pocket full of 20s to hand out. They were suppose to be there for 2 weeks. The ended up spending 5 days. First mistake, they stayed with family. I would not, because of all the issues they were having. His brothers came from St. Elizabeth and took all of his clothing and shoes while he was visiting other relatives in the Mobay area. They also took a lot of my girlfriend's things. Like her extra handbag, earing, lotion and perfume. Do you think I would have stayed an extra night there. Then the SWARM of family members asking for this asking for that...why didn't you bring me thing. It could have easily fit into your suitcase. I need outfit for wedding. I need outfit for funeral. She said she got so fustrated that she called the Decameron Hotel, changed their flights and enjoyed the rest of the time by herself. She told him to stay with them if he wants. He was out the house before she was. She tried to explain to his family that it took them 5 years to save for this vacation, but they didn't want to hear that.

[*JG* 2]

That's it, Tre. If we even get the chance to go next year, it would be 3 years of hell to get there. I forsee everyone having their hand out and I forsee everyone wanting us to bring something.

We have the opportunity to stay in Half Moon with his "surrogate" mother. This or a hotel will be the way we go because at this point, I really want to push my MIL into the sea. I'm better off staying far away and keeping my mouth shut when we visit.

I have heard many stories of Yardies who have gone back and cut trips short or moved farther away when in JA for these very reasons. It is happening to me now, why would it be any different when we are in the same vicinity?

[Marlita 0]

MY husband and I plan on returning to Jamaica too. He has property there in Negril and we went to visit it. He recently had it cleaned up before he left. He's planning on getting a loan from the National Housing Trust to build. He knows lots of builders in the area. Actually the house we stayed in was getting worked on while I was there. These guys have been building houses for his folks for awhile and are very trust worthy. I hear that stealing an scamming is pretty common there when building a house.

Currently my husband needs schooling and training here in the US to be more marketable there in JA. Thats one of the main reasons we are starting out here. I own my house here and can rent it for enough to supplement our income in JA, plus I can work there easily. But my husband would not have the education or skill to get a decent job there without having to work from the bottom up. We made a 5 year plan to be able to go back there. We would both like to raise our child there so they learn the culture and speak patois. Thats a big concern for me.

I find that life is easier here in the states for me, just cause I am use to it here. I make a decent living and I am familiar with everything. Its harder in JA, but I am "internally" happier. I dont know what it is but I am at a peace when there. I feel like its a long lost place of familiarity that I am getting reacquainted with. I have never felt like I belong to the "American" culture, and even though I dont belong to the JA culture from birth I belong there from my heart.

Lita; I'm so glad you typed this. So, many Jamaican get offended if you ask them "are you comming to the states to better you life"...there's nothing wrong with that. My best friend left Jamaica in '97 went to nursing school here in D.C. made a ton of money (because we have a nursing shortage)...went back to Jamaica, strated working then opened a nursing training program in Kingston and is doing DAMN well. Lita, my son was born here and has a Jamaican accent and he speaks and understand PATWAH with no problems. So, does my neice. Everytime they here reggae he'll ask me if it's Bob Marley. Lita, you're not a born Jamaica or did I missunderstand?

No, I'm not from Jamaica so I dont have the accent and there isnt a big J'can population here where I live. My children will definitly not learn enough patwah living here. Yes we would be able to speak it in the home, but thats about it. I dont want to speak patwah to them I want in to be in them. So I cant really give them Jamaica, like Jamaica can give it to them.

[Marlita 0]

We have discussed this over and over again. For us, it just doesn't make sense.

I think part of the problem is that his family and friends are driving us crazy. If we didn't have this complete hatred of everything Jamaica right now, I think our opinions would be different at this point. I do think that will change. I hope the change is for the better.

We talk of going back to visit next summer. I think that will make or break how we are currently thinking. For everyone's sake, I hope it's a make kind of thing.

JG a friend of mine just came back from Jamaica last night with her hubby. He was the one that left without telling anyone in his family and he didn't call them until he got to Baltimore. Well, for the last 5 years it's been hell for them. She would change the house number and her husband would give it out again. I told him, when he goes to Jamaica he better have a pocket full of 20s to hand out. They were suppose to be there for 2 weeks. The ended up spending 5 days. First mistake, they stayed with family. I would not, because of all the issues they were having. His brothers came from St. Elizabeth and took all of his clothing and shoes while he was visiting other relatives in the Mobay area. They also took a lot of my girlfriend's things. Like her extra handbag, earing, lotion and perfume. Do you think I would have stayed an extra night there. Then the SWARM of family members asking for this asking for that...why didn't you bring me thing. It could have easily fit into your suitcase. I need outfit for wedding. I need outfit for funeral. She said she got so fustrated that she called the Decameron Hotel, changed their flights and enjoyed the rest of the time by herself. She told him to stay with them if he wants. He was out the house before she was. She tried to explain to his family that it took them 5 years to save for this vacation, but they didn't want to hear that.

I hear of this stuff happening alot to people. Its so ridiculous. It hasnt happened to me yet, but best believe mi a tun wan cussout if it happen! I dont get why people dont just go the hell off on people. I am one of 7 siblings, and the 2nd oldest at that. I have always had to work hard to help take care of them, myself and everything else. i have ZERO tolerance for people who ask for handouts cause I KNOW their situation is not that bad. I am not the rass ATM and you best believe yuh get wan ear full if you start think i am!

[Marlita 0]

MY husband and I plan on returning to Jamaica too. He has property there in Negril and we went to visit it. He recently had it cleaned up before he left. He's planning on getting a loan from the National Housing Trust to build. He knows lots of builders in the area. Actually the house we stayed in was getting worked on while I was there. These guys have been building houses for his folks for awhile and are very trust worthy. I hear that stealing an scamming is pretty common there when building a house.

Currently my husband needs schooling and training here in the US to be more marketable there in JA. Thats one of the main reasons we are starting out here. I own my house here and can rent it for enough to supplement our income in JA, plus I can work there easily. But my husband would not have the education or skill to get a decent job there without having to work from the bottom up. We made a 5 year plan to be able to go back there. We would both like to raise our child there so they learn the culture and speak patois. Thats a big concern for me.

I find that life is easier here in the states for me, just cause I am use to it here. I make a decent living and I am familiar with everything. Its harder in JA, but I am "internally" happier. I dont know what it is but I am at a peace when there. I feel like its a long lost place of familiarity that I am getting reacquainted with. I have never felt like I belong to the "American" culture, and even though I dont belong to the JA culture from birth I belong there from my heart.

Lita; I'm so glad you typed this. So, many Jamaican get offended if you ask them "are you comming to the states to better you life"...there's nothing wrong with that. My best friend left Jamaica in '97 went to nursing school here in D.C. made a ton of money (because we have a nursing shortage)...went back to Jamaica, strated working then opened a nursing training program in Kingston and is doing DAMN well. Lita, my son was born here and has a Jamaican accent and he speaks and understand PATWAH with no problems. So, does my neice. Everytime they here reggae he'll ask me if it's Bob Marley. Lita, you're not a born Jamaica or did I missunderstand?

No, I'm not from Jamaica so I dont have the accent and there isnt a big J'can population here where I live. My children will definitly not learn enough patwah living here. Yes we would be able to speak it in the home, but thats about it. I dont want to speak patwah to them I want in to be in them. So I cant really give them Jamaica, like Jamaica can give it to them.

I was talking to my cousin (husbands cousin) out there and she was saying that she know people ask their foreign relatives for money and stuff all the time when they come but she would never do that cause you dont know that the foreign person may be having a hard time in their own lives. She was like..people think that you have money just cause you can buy a plane ticket but they dont know your troubles and you may be living a really hard life back home. I was glad to hear her say that cause at least she is taking the time to realize that life is difficult everywhere

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Lita, I agree with what ur saying

U know JG, it never will get better..u have to learn how to say no..and u cannot take something for everyone..i would never go to JA if i was thinking about who is gonna ask me for this or dat..i love my country and so does my husband..so whe nwe go back no one sees us as a money pit ..cause we sure don't act like it..and we are honest when ppl ask friends and family alike..the only ppl we are obligated to in JA are his kids and that's it...if i have extra then they will get...no one in JA can make me hate going cause they ask for stuff..oh well i don't have it