Interracial Marriage Challenges

[brokensmile 0]

Interracial Marriage Challenges From One Another

Expectations:

It can be very romantic and exciting to love someone different. However, don't let the attraction of forbidden love distract you from dealing with the issues that your interracial marriage may have to face.

Don't fall into the myth of thinking that your love for one another can overcome anything life throws at you. Every married couple needs to develop and use effective communication skills so that difficult times can be handled in healthy ways.

Children: You and your spouse need to discuss how you will raise your children and help your kids to understand and appreciate their mixed identity. Make sure that you provide your children will positive stories of both of your family histories.

As your children grow up, listen to them share their concerns, stereotypes, doubts, and possible prejudices. Answer their questions.

Holidays: All married couples face stress during holidays. Talk about your cultural differences in how holidays were celebrated when you were kids. Realize that holidays give the two of you a chance to discuss how your family will handle both the differences and similarities in your backgrounds.

Be proud of your cultural traditions and work together to create ways to celebrate them that will be meaningful to you both.

Know Yourself: If you want to have a strong interracial marriage, believe in who you are. If you feel confusion about your own life, deal with your own issues before trying to merge your life with someone else.

Know Your Differences: Discuss your cultural differences regarding topics such as religion, diet, birth control, parenting preferences, grief, finances, sex, extended family relationships, gender roles, communication styles, and traditions.

Bottom Line

The racial and cultural differences in your interracial marriage won't necessarily cause your relationship to fail. What can cause an interracial marriage to fall apart is the inability of a couple to handle their differences and a failure to talk about stress and prejudice created by others.

[*JG* 2]

I'll say it over and over and over again, we have no racial differences. If others would just stop trying to point out how we should, it would be just peachy!

[DanielParul 50]

Daniel and I have no differences of the racial kind. We, just like any normal married couple, are loving and dedicated to each other. I have never really understood what kind of racial differences could be?

(I asked Daniel that question online - his reply was - what do you mean, like do we look different???)

[baxxy 0]

Daniel and I have no differences of the racial kind. We, just like any normal married couple, are loving and dedicated to each other. I have never really understood what kind of racial differences could be?

(I asked Daniel that question online - his reply was - what do you mean, like do we look different???)

Its NOTHING to do with looking different, so dont be naive here. What Brokensmile is trying to say is that different countries have their traditions and cultures, NOTHING is going to change that no matter how you try, so obviously there will be challenging times when it comes to this, if not right away, they surely will come to the surface eventually. And if there's a different religion thats another issue altogether.

[*JG* 2]

Daniel and I have no differences of the racial kind. We, just like any normal married couple, are loving and dedicated to each other. I have never really understood what kind of racial differences could be?

(I asked Daniel that question online - his reply was - what do you mean, like do we look different???)

Its NOTHING to do with looking different, so dont be naive here. What Brokensmile is trying to say is that different countries have their traditions and cultures, NOTHING is going to change that no matter how you try, so obviously there will be challenging times when it comes to this, if not right away, they surely will come to the surface eventually. And if there's a different religion thats another issue altogether.

For some, maybe. I do get tired of people telling me we SHOULD have racial issues. I've been married to him for over 2 years now. When exactly should I expect these issues to surface?

I don't think she was being naive. She was repeating what her husband said to her. I thought it was funny. Andre and I always talk about how much alike we are that we are practically twins. We often look in the mirror and say it. She was talking in that same vein.

[Sinergy 3]

Daniel and I have no differences of the racial kind. We, just like any normal married couple, are loving and dedicated to each other. I have never really understood what kind of racial differences could be?

(I asked Daniel that question online - his reply was - what do you mean, like do we look different???)

Its NOTHING to do with looking different, so dont be naive here. What Brokensmile is trying to say is that different countries have their traditions and cultures, NOTHING is going to change that no matter how you try, so obviously there will be challenging times when it comes to this, if not right away, they surely will come to the surface eventually. And if there's a different religion thats another issue altogether.

For some, maybe. I do get tired of people telling me we SHOULD have racial issues. I've been married to him for over 2 years now. When exactly should I expect these issues to surface?

I don't think she was being naive. She was repeating what her husband said to her. I thought it was funny. Andre and I always talk about how much alike we are that we are practically twins. We often look in the mirror and say it. She was talking in that same vein.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The cultural and familial differences are something most couples international couples have to deal with. Just some examples for us - my wife thinks it's rude to answer with 'yeah' while I find it more friendly and less harsh sounding than 'yes.'

But just in the year and a half that both my wife and stepson have lived here in the states, they have already grown accustomed to many of the nuances and differences.

Ordering food at a restaurant or communication is still something that my wife has a little trouble....mainly just in her choice of words that often confuse the server just what it is she wants. Then she gets angry when they didn't prepare her order the way she asked. She doesn't complain to them though...just me. I think she's aware that she needs to learn American slang and the ways we talk.

I think it's really beneficial also to embrace your spouses culture reciprocally - enjoy their foods and their customs.

[Sheriff Uling 3]

I think it's really beneficial also to embrace your spouses culture reciprocally - enjoy their foods and their customs.

Very true.

However, there are racial and cultural differences that are managed even if it's at a very low level in every interracial relationship. The fact the couples love and respect one another and have worked beyond those barriers doesn't mean that those lines don't exist. As individuals we deal with them everyday in our interactions with others who are foreign to us. It's just part of being in a multicultural and global society.

Overall, I say it's a good thing...

Cheers!!!

Sheriff Uling

p.s. I wish that this type of interaction and respect between people would have exited long ago such that I too could truly have a culture, language, and trackable lineage of my own.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

p.s. I wish that this type of interaction and respect between people would have exited long ago such that I too could truly have a culture, language, and trackable lineage of my own.

Amen, brother.

[*JG* 2]

The cultural and familial differences are something most couples international couples have to deal with. Just some examples for us - my wife thinks it's rude to answer with 'yeah' while I find it more friendly and less harsh sounding than 'yes.'

But just in the year and a half that both my wife and stepson have lived here in the states, they have already grown accustomed to many of the nuances and differences.

Ordering food at a restaurant or communication is still something that my wife has a little trouble....mainly just in her choice of words that often confuse the server just what it is she wants. Then she gets angry when they didn't prepare her order the way she asked. She doesn't complain to them though...just me. I think she's aware that she needs to learn American slang and the ways we talk.

I think it's really beneficial also to embrace your spouses culture reciprocally - enjoy their foods and their customs.

I guess I just don't see that as cultural. My husband cooks almost 100% of the time. We eat things he's eaten all his life. It's the same food I've always eaten just prepared a little different.

[brokensmile 0]

The cultural and familial differences are something most couples international couples have to deal with. Just some examples for us - my wife thinks it's rude to answer with 'yeah' while I find it more friendly and less harsh sounding than 'yes.'

But just in the year and a half that both my wife and stepson have lived here in the states, they have already grown accustomed to many of the nuances and differences.

Ordering food at a restaurant or communication is still something that my wife has a little trouble....mainly just in her choice of words that often confuse the server just what it is she wants. Then she gets angry when they didn't prepare her order the way she asked. She doesn't complain to them though...just me. I think she's aware that she needs to learn American slang and the ways we talk.

I think it's really beneficial also to embrace your spouses culture reciprocally - enjoy their foods and their customs.

I guess I just don't see that as cultural. My husband cooks almost 100% of the time. We eat things he's eaten all his life. It's the same food I've always eaten just prepared a little different.

guys relaxxxxxxxxxx......

[edmon59 0]

Funny thing, but I have never thought of my wife as being black.....but I never forget she's Jamaican!

We lived in JA for 3 years before coming to the US, so I'm completely familiar and comfortable with their culture. She has had to make some adjustments to US (white american) culture though......I think we enjoy the best of both worlds. Third and First.

-Ed

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but in my opinion the racial and cultural differences between the US and Phils is pretty small. It's a very westernized contry, they're mostly Roman Catholic and English speaking (mostly). I look at it objectively all the time and am really surprized! Not by how different we are though, but by how very much alike we are. I know other countries and cultures are far different but not the Phils from what I've seen and learned. Different yeh, WAY different..no

[GuardianAngel 1]

We encounter cultural differences everyday as we talk almost 24/7, even if we are both at work we make the effort to contact each other even for 1 minute.

There are a lot of things to point out when it comes to this matter but I'll only name two (It doesn't hold true for all relationships though.) My fiance used to say Filipinas always pour out emotions while most american guys use logic in whatever decision they have to make. Second, Filipinas tend to do pasikot-sikot in what they say while most americans say whatever they want regardless of the persons they are dealing with. And theres more and more and more...

We have been together for almost a year now, but so far we're able to resolve indifferences and worked it through. All of us who are separated from our loved ones while waiting for our petitions just have to double our effort as Long Distance Relationships aren't easy to handle.

[sachinky 465]

I'm an Indian (ethnically and nationality-wise) and my husband is a white, American. In our two years of dating and now four months of marriage, we've not come across any racial/cultural differences in our relationship. We're similar in more important ways.

The only difference I've encountered is in our sense of humor. Mine is more caustic and sarcastic. I joke and poke fun at him often in jest. He doesn't get that. He doesn't understand, as he puts it, why I'm being mean to him. I can't explain to him that the only reason I poke fun at him is BECAUSE I love him. Sounds odd, I know, but it's how I judge familiarity and closeness. Like eating fries off his plate without having to ask. When you can pull each other's legs. He prefers my "topical" humor, though.