MENA Men and Money

[Muh and me 18]

Thats all we seem to fight over is money. He makes more than me, i work part time. Now that he is working and making good money, i lost my ssi, so i don't have anymore cushion. And i try to show him just how much we need every week and i give him so much a week out of his check and he gets so much a week to pay back his brother and sends that to morocco. But now the over time money is starting to come in and i know there is gonna be arguements over that. I need tires for the car, and for some odd reason, he don't feel its all that necessary. He wants to save for a car for himself when he don't even drive now. Omg i dread this.

[LRA 0]

A word of advice, if I may. A lady should always tuck some money aside without anyone knowing about it. You never know what can and will happen, and that money might just save your butt one day.

Very wise! And same for men The problem is if something happens to you...what will become of the $. Kinda like those bills hidden in walls of old homes. Inform someone you trust about that account if you choose to tuck it away that way. I have many power of attorney for "hidden" accounts with my brothers or they are just on the account. Also one between my mom and I....that no one but us, not even my dad, knows about.

[hitchoo 0]

A word of advice, if I may. A lady should always tuck some money aside without anyone knowing about it. You never know what can and will happen, and that money might just save your butt one day.

Very wise! And same for men The problem is if something happens to you...what will become of the $. Kinda like those bills hidden in walls of old homes. Inform someone you trust about that account if you choose to tuck it away that way. I have many power of attorney for "hidden" accounts with my brothers or they are just on the account. Also one between my mom and I....that no one but us, not even my dad, knows about.

wise WOMEN lol

[Nagishkaw 510]

I speak only from experience.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

been there done that also but dont you think now as american women we all know this fact and are not completely dependent on anyone else. I know i say we may have joint account but i still have access and ways to (take care) of myself if the situation warrants, i just cant see a woman in these days not being prepared for anything....

[sweet_peach 0]

We talked about this a long time ago.

When were in his country he handles the money

When he gets here I handle it....

Its worked so far. Hopefully it continues to.

[allousa 1]

From the get go, when Hicham got here, he insisted that I keep my own accounts because I have a considerable amount from my father's estate that Hicham won't touch for any reason and is adamant that is my money. I think it's very smart for any woman to know what her assets are and how to get a hold of them when needed and for the man as well. Like someone said...what if something happens to either one of you.

Right now, I make a good bit more than Hicham does. I added up all of our household bills, groceries and included the cost of our son's daycare. I put in 2/3 of that number into the account we use to pay household bills and for now Hicham will give me cash that equals the other 1/3. We have agreed upon a set day of each month that he gives me the cash. We also try and split up who picks up the tab when we eat out every so often...but who can afford to do that anymore!

I have made Hicham the beneficiary on all of my accounts and investments with specific instructions in my will that these funds be set up in trust for our son for a certain dollar amount. I cannot convey the importance to any of you that have children how IMPORTANT it is to have a will in place for your children...especially if your children are from a different spouse.

I do think that for some of these SOs coming here, having to be finicially dependent on the wife really does something to their pyshce. Hicham turned from night to day once he got his job and any squabbles we had about money pretty much stopped. We've hit a happy medium with the finances....WHEW!!!!!

Good luck to ya! Lots of good advice on here!

[Donna A 4]

we have our checks deposited in the same checking account and i write out the checks for the bills and whats left at the end of the month goes into our joint savings. there is no problems at all. the only thing is im going to make him start paying the bills one....to take some of the chores off my shoulders and two so i dont have to hear him ask how much did we pay for electric...water....etc last month. who remembers things like this anyway?

[maggieNomar 0]

Our biggest thing was my dh not being used to having money so even buying groceries was a big deal. We got a joint acct right away, and I have a separate for the same reason as many of you. Everything has worked out with time and experience. Do talk to your SO before he comes here. One less thing to hassel with during the adjustment period.

[nunyab 0]

OK... so they won't be working right off the bat... do you give them an allowance sort to speak or free access (mine will hate the very thought of any of this but not sure he has a choice?) He is working now and I know him saving is key but this is also his first "real" job too. I guess I am not sure how to start the conversation is all.

[amal 4]

Well, if he comes on the CR-1, he can work once he gets his green card. The main problem is that its hard to get that first job due to lack of experience in the USA. Mine applied for roughly 3 months to everywhere imaginable and finally Wal-mart hired him (only coz I knew a lady that was in well with the higher ups and she was a reference for him). It was verrrrrrrrrrry difficult for him to accept that I paid for everything in the beginning and he made many references to the fact that he felt like a child having to ask for this or ask for that.

I recommend letting him know that it may be a while before he gets to start work so you want to figure out what will make both of you the most comfortable until he starts getting a paycheck. That way he will see that you are interested in him and not just urself. It is definitely best to get a good idea of this before he gets here.

good luck ensha'allah

Amal

[LRA 0]

Well, if he comes on the CR-1, he can work once he gets his green card. The main problem is that its hard to get that first job due to lack of experience in the USA. Mine applied for roughly 3 months to everywhere imaginable and finally Wal-mart hired him (only coz I knew a lady that was in well with the higher ups and she was a reference for him). It was verrrrrrrrrrry difficult for him to accept that I paid for everything in the beginning and he made many references to the fact that he felt like a child having to ask for this or ask for that.

I recommend letting him know that it may be a while before he gets to start work so you want to figure out what will make both of you the most comfortable until he starts getting a paycheck. That way he will see that you are interested in him and not just urself. It is definitely best to get a good idea of this before he gets here.

good luck ensha'allah

Amal

Great idea on how to kick off the convo Amal! I always count on hearing your wisdom in these types of situation.

[nunyab 0]

I decided to send an email with all my questions and suggestions numbered out and bulleted lol... not warm and fuzzy but hay it's in writting and will get it going.. all questions and suggestion so I can understand what he's thinking and he can understand what I am thinking....

[Nothing1234 2]

A word of advice, if I may. A lady should always tuck some money aside without anyone knowing about it. You never know what can and will happen, and that money might just save your butt one day.

I could not agree more with this.

Amen to that!

[S and S 12]

My husband and I talked about this as well. I have a savings account with my grandfather that will of course stay with me only. I have a checking account that I will continue to keep for myself, but name him as the benificiary on it. Once he is here we plan on opening a joint checking account together that he will put his money in. My husband is very traditional about wanting to support me. It is nice to know I will have the option of staying home eventually though I insist on paying my car off on my own. He will initially recieve money since he is coming as a refugee but that doesn't last longer than three months. At least it will give him some financial independence until he gets some work though.