MENA Men and Money

[nunyab 0]

I realized (stupid me) my husband and I have not talked about money... ie seperate bank accounts or one, who pays what bills and sending money home. I know Islmaically how it is supposed to be but traditionally I made more money than my ex...Always

I am planing to talk to him about it but was looking for some back ground on what other's do and how it works for you. I know mine has his pride so I want to make sure I don't offend either.

Rajaa

[brnidokiegurl 0]

when here we prob will put together, now he has his and i have mine and i dont send to him

[polarbear 0]

I realized (stupid me) my husband and I have not talked about money... ie seperate bank accounts or one, who pays what bills and sending money home. I know Islmaically how it is supposed to be but traditionally I made more money than my ex...Always

I am planing to talk to him about it but was looking for some back ground on what other's do and how it works for you. I know mine has his pride so I want to make sure I don't offend either.

Rajaa

I had to put my name on my husband's bank account for him to get one, but I have one I use as a savings that's in my name only

I make more than my husband as well, but he's doesn't read or write english ... so he just gives me his paychecks and I leave a certain amount in his acount for spending and I pay bills ect..

[nunyab 0]

lol that works.....

[amal 4]

We had an issue with banking. I didn't see the problem in having a joint account but he thought of it as me "mothering" him too much and not allowing him to be a man. We do have a joint account now but it was a struggle to begin with. Definitely talk to ur man about banking/money expectations BEFORE he gets here.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Well, I will say that it may depend on the situation when your spouse arrives. My husband brought what money he had with him but he arrived on a k1 and we made the decision that I work until he receives his EAD and he watches our son. So, currently I am supporting the family but only until he gets employment to contribute.

He wants to be able to care for the family and states that he hopes to one day do as he was taught, the man cares for the home and family with his money and my money is to save or do what I wish for. This was something that I had a hard time swallowing because I have always been independent and never put myself in a situation where I relied upon a man for anything. But I realize that it's my husband's beliefs and that if this is what he chooses to do I can build myself a little nest for a rainy day and for my kids future.

We opened up a joint account because we read that for immigration purposes this was what was suggested. We pay bills out of this account for our home only. I have my account and he has his own. That way once the bills are paid neither one of us will not complain that the other has spent too much. If he sent money home, it would be his money. If I decided to buy purses and shoes its my money. Things for our son we will put money in together on.

Good luck figure it out! We had a few spats over it but finally have it worked out!

[Jenn! 918]

I handle the finances, but we have a joint account. Both of our money goes in there every week and I pay the bills from it. He usually uses his cash tips for pocket money. I have a personal account for my own pocket money.

[polarbear 0]

There was a good point made about him maby not wanting to be babied and wanting to be independant and feel like his contributing the houshold ect...

I should add that we have a joint account to pay bills with ect... we have another joint account that my name is on just so that he could get an account. I don't have a check card and his name alone is on the checks.

It works out bc I can get online and manage the account for him and I have acces to the money if I need it, but I would never do anything with it unless he asked me to and he knows it. I use my personal account as a savings.

The joint account for bills he really views as my account and doesn't like using it without talking to me even though he deposits paychecks there as do I. It makes him feel like he is contributing to bills ect. but he's also independant with his own money. He just leaves it up to me how to distribute it as long as he can get food and gas - but he has access to the joint if he wants and I leave alot in there.

Probably too much info - but I wanted to explain that my husband and I have found a way for joint accounts, a rainy day fund for myself, and he feels like he is contributing and independant financially.

[Nagishkaw 510]

A word of advice, if I may. A lady should always tuck some money aside without anyone knowing about it. You never know what can and will happen, and that money might just save your butt one day.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I handle the finances, but we have a joint account. Both of our money goes in there every week and I pay the bills from it. He usually uses his cash tips for pocket money. I have a personal account for my own pocket money.

Ditto. I am learning to handle finances (in Mexico I had an accountant who took care of all this annoying ####### like payments and the like); but all accounts are in our names. Cuz I luv' im and hes da man

Seriously, because it makes it easier; besides we live in a community property state so half is half; and also this is evidence for RC people

So far, so good.

[caybee 21]

We have just sort of fallen into something that works well for us so far. We have joint checking and savings accounts. I deposit my paycheck and some of his, and I pay household bills from that. He cashes his check and generally pays cash for groceries, clothes, etc since we usually go shopping together. I keep track of how much we have in the bank, and he keeps track of how much cash we have on hand. His income is increasing, and we hope to start putting most of his check into our savings account. We didn't really discuss any part of this except for the joint accounts. The cash arrangement sort of came about on its own, but it works well so far. There are so many different ways to do this, depending on the couple and their individual personalities. The main thing is to discuss it and to leave things open for adjustment later if needed. My parents went maybe 20 years with my mom balancing their joint checking account, and then they decided to switch roles. It's also important to make sure both partners know how to access the accounts and what needs to be done, step by step, if the other person is incapacitated for whatever reason at some point.

[*JG* 2]

A word of advice, if I may. A lady should always tuck some money aside without anyone knowing about it. You never know what can and will happen, and that money might just save your butt one day.

I could not agree more with this.

[nunyab 0]

money is money and I don't know why but it always seems uncomfortable to talk about it. But i have to see past the rainbows and unicorns (as some would say lol) and face these things head on. I've always tucked money away.... even from myself i'll find money in an old jacket. Love it when that happens.

[doodlebugg 10]

So far everything's in my name but only due to sheer laziness on our part to add him. (coupled with a really bad experience at the bank which might be contributing to our lack of urgency in the matter )

I really need to add him to everything else though like the bills. Guess I'll do a few of those during lunch if they can be done via the phone.

[mybackpages 0]

We have joint accounts too and I also handle all the finances. I opened one account specially for us when he arrived and this is truely our joint account for the household etc. but I am always transferig money inand out fo the accounts as I save and pay bills.

Joint accounts are one way to show entanglement of assest for immigration purposes, but it is not necessary. it all depends on the couple's situation. It's also always a good idea to keep a personal account especially if you have a significant amount of money or assets prior to the marriage.