How have others dealt with name issues?

[venusfire503 54]

I'm not sure if this is where I should post this.

Anyway, my husband has been here about a year and a half. Most people have problems spelling and pronouncing his name. Also, he suspects that this has interfered with his attempts to get a job. Not just the spelling/pronouncing thing, but also (hate to say it, but...) possible prejudice.

How have others dealt with this issue? We haven't been able to come up with any good nicknames for his real name. I know some of my kids' friends from other countries go by "American" names (like David) to make things easier. He's considering legally adding an American middle name (he doesn't have a middle name now) and just using that on his resume (first initial of real name, adopted middle name, real last name). The problem is that he'd have to change his name on his foreign passport, drivers license, PR card, etc. Not sure if we'd have to change the title for the house and car, or things like that.

Is it legal to use a name (alias) on things like resumes, as long as an employer (or anyone official) is given his legal name? I hope we don't have to actually go to the courthouse and change his name.... I told him if he really wants to do it later, that might be a better idea (after getting citizenship, or even after removing conditions).

I feel silly not knowing this, since I'm the USC... but I always used my given name... (not even a nickname as a kid)

[Jenn! 918]

Sorry I don't really have any advice about the process/legality of changing one's name. I just wanted to say that my husband had mentioned the same thing on several occasions. He wanted to change his name from Wadi (with the impossible spelling of Ouadia on official documents) to Wade. He's since gotten over that. I think it's part of the adjustment here.

Hope you get the info you need...

[venusfire503 54]

Sorry I don't really have any advice about the process/legality of changing one's name. I just wanted to say that my husband had mentioned the same thing on several occasions. He wanted to change his name from Wadi (with the impossible spelling of Ouadia on official documents) to Wade. He's since gotten over that. I think it's part of the adjustment here.

Hope you get the info you need...

My husband seems to be pretty well adjusted, and he's been here more than 18 months now. Even my family members have difficulty pronouncing his name. My youngest can't even say our last name, and won't even try.... well, she's only 5...

Did your husband have any problems getting a job? I think that's his main concern. He's trying to find ANY kind of job, ANYWHERE right now - full or part time. He's only been able to find a few temporary things (like stuffing envelopes for a few hours one day).

I don't want to know how to legally change his name. I was just wondering if he could unofficially use a 'middle' name on things like resumes without any problems. I know several people go by their middle names instead of their first names (like "R. John Smith"). It's just that my husband doesn't actually have a middle name, and wants to use one anyway....

[Jeraly 4]

I know my other half works with someone from Laos who is known as Nang in work - it is on all the official documentation and things and doesn't have a problem - of course, in terms of social security etc the full name is probably used but I can't see a problem if he were to put perhaps his full name on an application and put his "adopted" name in brackets after like (name)

Ok - I just checked with my other half (who is a manager) and he said that on the application using brackets with a preferred name is fine, but on a resume he would leave it as a real name. For dealings with HR and other departments, the employee needs to be referred to by their legal name, but that he has plenty of people working for him who have a nickname or given name that is different from their legal name. (He works with someone known as "The Kid" - no joke... but then his real name is Herman Noel so you kinda gotta feel sorry for him )

[Jeraly 4]

Also - if he really wants a middle name then it would be great because he can choose it... In terms of legality I am not sure how it would work and what you would need to change, but if he were to just adopt it for work and personal purposes, I don't see why he would have to get it changed by deed poll...

[Mononoke28 135]

I think this all goes back to how ignorant some people here in the States really are, and in this day and age is unacceptable in my book. Back in the 80s when we first came here people had a very hard time with my last name and I had to correct them on how to pronounce it over and over, it wasn't a big deal until I saw them making faces and saying stupid comments about me being latina. My sister had a harded time since her first name is Salome, she hated it but now that she's an adult she pretty much has an "I don't care what you think about my name" attitude and moves on.

I also went to school with a few chinese girls who hated their names and had them changed when they became US citizens. Hong Dai became Mindy, Hong Ching became Maria and Ching became Amy. I didn't get then and I still don't get it now since I think we should all embrace our culture and where we come from. It's not about us adjusting to society and the dumb people out there, it's about them adjusting to us.

Diana

[venusfire503 54]

I think this all goes back to how ignorant some people here in the States really are, and in this day and age is unacceptable in my book. Back in the 80s when we first came here people had a very hard time with my last name and I had to correct them on how to pronounce it over and over, it wasn't a big deal until I saw them making faces and saying stupid comments about me being latina. My sister had a harded time since her first name is Salome, she hated it but now that she's an adult she pretty much has an "I don't care what you think about my name" attitude and moves on.

I also went to school with a few chinese girls who hated their names and had them changed when they became US citizens. Hong Dai became Mindy, Hong Ching became Maria and Ching became Amy. I didn't get then and I still don't get it now since I think we should all embrace our culture and where we come from. It's not about us adjusting to society and the dumb people out there, it's about them adjusting to us.

Diana

I understand what you're saying. Just want to mention - people have had difficulty with my name, too. Like my husband, I just kept correcting them or ignoring it.

He doesn't really care so much either, except for the fact that he thinks it's contributing to his lack of employment. He's been using an American first name for a few days now (with strangers/employers) and has already had different/better results.... Sad, yes. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do. And he really wants a job.

[dolphin1 5]

my name is abderrahim , and i chose abdou as a nickname, it is famous as a nickname for names that start with abd....