How much does your SO miss home!

[Imua 0]

Another outsider here but I can relate to a lot of these issues big time. Govi has said he definitely does not want to stay in the USA long term and as for my own feelings I am very conflicted - I love Nepal and could see us living there(especially if we want to adopt a child, which would be unaffordable for us here in the US) but yes the health care situation is a big consideration - it is on a par with some of the poorer sub-Saharan countries. Last year on Nepal news I saw a scene from a hospital that was so overcrowded that patients were actually sleeping two to a bed.... Another Nepal VJer said that before someone is admitted to the hospital that they or their family member actually has to stand in line and pay for all of their supplies: syringes, gloves, medicines, etc.... Basic medicines such as antibiotics are cheap and easy to get but if you need more extensive care then it is hard... I know that some expats fly to India or Thailand for care but who knows if we can afford that - I am not of the illusion that we are going to go back to Nepal rich. I also wonder how long-term expats deal with the water situation - I have gotten sick the last 3 times I traveled to Asia despite taking precautions.

[Perseverance 1]

My SO is not really happy here in this country, the truth is I dont know if he ever has been. He is here because of me and that is the ONLY reason, he knows I cant go anywhere else because of my kids. So here we are, sometimes I think it will tear my marriage apart, but we are still together, not easy not easy, hense my resent absence. I can really relate to this topic, because I live it, often.

P

[LovinLiberia 0]

My SO is not really happy here in this country, the truth is I dont know if he ever has been. He is here because of me and that is the ONLY reason, he knows I cant go anywhere else because of my kids. So here we are, sometimes I think it will tear my marriage apart, but we are still together, not easy not easy, hense my resent absence. I can really relate to this topic, because I live it, often.

P

[happyinlove012408 0]

That is a good question. Once my husband gets here I want to ask him that question after a month. This way he will be getting used to all his surroundings here and he can tell what he wants to have. When I went there to visit I felt like living there but the 3rd time I went the standard of living was so high and everything was not easy after getting used to living in the USA for over 18 years. I don't know if I can live there permanently but I don't know what the future holds for us either.

[Asante Maroon 0]

My SO is not really happy here in this country, the truth is I dont know if he ever has been. He is here because of me and that is the ONLY reason, he knows I cant go anywhere else because of my kids. So here we are, sometimes I think it will tear my marriage apart, but we are still together, not easy not easy, hense my resent absence. I can really relate to this topic, because I live it, often.

P

P, I don't know how long your hubby has been here but I can tell you that most of the immigrants that I have come across through out my life time are excited to come here, but soon after getting here they miss home. They end up hating the very place they were dying to come to. I had so many family members that went through it. BUT it gets better with time.

Time may not eradicate the feeling but it does improve it. This is a whole knew world to them. As they adjust they feel better.

Black immigrants especially have a hard time here because they have never faced racism until coming here. Of course they may have been exposed to classism or prejudice relating to their skin color or the area from which they stem in their home countries, but they have never faced the many issues our country still deals with in regards to race. I speak of race specifically because of your prior posts.

I just want to tell you and everyone else to hang in there. There is still a long road after our SO's get here. It is not easy to see your once happy and optimistic SO go through depression and homesickness. It definitely takes away from the relationship that both parties have worked so hard on to build.

Try to hang in there guys. We all are or have gone through this in some shape or fashion.

If there is any a time to pray and stay strong, now is the time....this is the foundation.

Love you all .... Hang in there, P. I say a prayer for all of you every night because we are truly each others support system (F) (L)

[soon~tobe 0]

My SO is not really happy here in this country, the truth is I dont know if he ever has been. He is here because of me and that is the ONLY reason, he knows I cant go anywhere else because of my kids. So here we are, sometimes I think it will tear my marriage apart, but we are still together, not easy not easy, hense my resent absence. I can really relate to this topic, because I live it, often.

P

P, I don't know how long your hubby has been here but I can tell you that most of the immigrants that I have come across through out my life time are excited to come here, but soon after getting here they miss home. They end up hating the very place they were dying to come to. I had so many family members that went through it. BUT it gets better with time.

Time may not eradicate the feeling but it does improve it. This is a whole knew world to them. As they adjust they feel better.

Black immigrants especially have a hard time here because they have never faced racism until coming here. Of course they may have been exposed to classism or prejudice relating to their skin color or the area from which they stem in their home countries, but they have never faced the many issues our country still deals with in regards to race. I speak of race specifically because of your prior posts.

I just want to tell you and everyone else to hang in there. There is still a long road after our SO's get here. It is not easy to see your once happy and optimistic SO go through depression and homesickness. It definitely takes away from the relationship that both parties have worked so hard on to build.

Try to hang in there guys. We all are or have gone through this in some shape or fashion.

If there is any a time to pray and stay strong, now is the time....this is the foundation.

Love you all .... Hang in there, P. I say a prayer for all of you every night because we are truly each others support system (F) (L)

I do worry about the racist issue in America, and worry about how it will effect Allan. (and of course all African-Americans, it's just up close and personal now) Ugandan's are so nice to all foreign visitors, I feel bad for him coming to a country that can be so hostile to immigrants (regardless of race). I will be a HUGE adjustment for him that is for sure!

[reeses16 8]

My hubby has adjusted pretty well to the US. Unfortunately he has had to deal with racism and other difficulties since coming to the US. It took him a while to find a job that he liked and where he was treated fairly. He works much harder here (full-time job +school), but he enjoys knowing that we have enough money to buy the things we need and looks forward to taking upper level courses.

My hubby definitely misses home, especially his mom (they're close and she's ill). But he tries not to dwell on it and I think he's dealing with it pretty well. We hope to build a home in Ethiopia but we don't plan to make a permanent move, a few months here and there. It will really be a family house with a few rental units.

[We_Destiny 1]

My husband cannot possibly miss anyone in Nigeria , he constantly talks family aand friends everyday . They call one another back and forth everday. We just had it out about that recently. In April I was in Ethiopia for 3 weeks and for the whole month of June I was in Ghana. On both occassions we spoke mostly everyday for a few minutes sometimes more, but, he would say I dont have a phone card (yadda, yadda, yadda) and I would fuss. Because, he talks to people in Nigeria everyday; I would say yeah you used your phone calls up talking to everyone else .

But seriously at least 5 people a day........they have not had a chance to miss each other.

[Perseverance 1]

My husband has been here for 18 months, I would say his he is still adjusting.

He talks to his family and friends often, possibly daily, it just depends what is going on with them.

My husband did not really ever dream of coming to the US, he never had the desire. He only came because I am here.

Racism is a recent problem that he incountered, he works in North redneck Dakota. I told him about racism here, but really you dont grasp what American racism is until you have been a victim of it. Watching Black in America helped to open his eyes, we have not watched the second show yet that focused on the Black American Male, I have it recorded, I did not want to overload him, I think he needed time to think about things.

When he came home last from his job, he did not want to go back, I have really worked on him to put up some sort of fight for his rights. I am happy to say that this Sunday he will go back to work, but I know that he will not stay with the company for much longer.

Everyone thinks when there SO gets here that the hard times are over. I am sorry to say that is not always the case.

We as the USC really need to have patience with thier situation because it really is a shock to them, we have lived here our entire lives and we think that the US is so great, but take the time to look at it from the eyes of someone of another country.

I am sure there are some people who immigrate here with no adjustment issues, that is not hte case with us.

P

[Simply_Uno 1]

DEDICATED TO THE SO's of USC'S

hey y'all, this particular thread does not pertain to me ...my SO is an (well, ya' know) .

but to those of you having issues with your SO adjustments to american life,

please feel free to enjoy this video for encouragement.

it is kinda long, but I chose it because its a live performance and.....

1) stephie can sang the gates of heaven open

2) the song is entitled "home"

3) it has so much meaning and depth to it, no matter how old this song is, when stephie sangs it, its always brand new

p.s. check her out at 4:55 to 5:00, I had to rewind it a couple of times.

just be encouraged and fight the good fight, cause true love conquers all

UNO

p.p.s yo "P" hang in there girl(((((HUGS))))))

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[We_Destiny 1]

Is that SINBAD?

Yeah... Uno... Great Song

[We_Destiny 1]

just remembered to look at (4:55) in the video....OOOOOOOOOOOps

[Ta Ta 1]

Great clip...... and she handled the 4:55 very gracefully.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Is that SINBAD?

Yeah... Uno... Great Song