No title Im braindead

[Totallylost 0]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

Hi.. Maybe you should talk things out first. Clarify all the issues between your relationship. I guess you should at least try to be together and spend some quality time in each others arms before finally ending it. Who knows the relationship and the love will flourish again.

Goodluck!

[Completely 3]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

I think I can relate with this topic.. Whenever me and my husband argued for stupid things.. Sometimes I say I think this will not going to work.. This is over and over again.. I am getting tired of it.. And my husband will say , why are you thinking negative..Couple do argue sometimes but this does not mean anything unless you dont love me... What I am trying to say is that this is just the opposite on what you posted..

I love my husband very much but sometime he gets on my nerve sometimes because probably we are totally opposite.. But we talk and agree that everything will be okay..

You and him should talk maybe something on him you need to know...Better be ready. come what may..

Edited July 28, 2008 by Completely

[Mononoke28 135]

Well, the fact that you've only been intimate once in three years speaks volumes. Time to do some serious soul searching.

Diana

[Jeraly 4]

I don't think the intimacy needs to be such a huge issue, but the communication does.

Jeremy and I have had our ups and downs - I have lost count of the amount of times I told him I couldn't cope anymore, that I was giving up, that I wanted to break up... We've been together for three years (and granted, only living together for a month so far) but there have been intimacy issues with us too - it peaks and troughs and that was never the actual problem...

Sounds to me like the relationship has gone a bit stale - it needs life back in it, refreshing as it were. Maybe set time aside for a "date" night, where you get dressed up for each other, no ulterior motives, but just to go out to the movies, or out for a meal and to go dancing - relive the moments that brought you together in the first place- I mean there must have been something there, right?

Talk a lot - find out why it isn't working, why he is getting itchy feet - does he miss his home country? Is he bored? That might be a big factor in things. Do you have kids? Is that an issue?

As someone already mentioned, counselling would definitely be worth looking into, especially if you want to save the marriage and nothing else seems to work. It seems a pity to have come so far only to let it all go

Good luck with everything and try to keep smiling

[peejay 327]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

It sounds as if you have a roommate instead of a husband. Only you can decide if that arrangement is acceptable. Not to be flippant, but hubby might consider going to the doctor to find out why the libido is dead. It's either dead or he is using it somewhere else. It's not normal for a man not to ejaculate for that long of a time. I'm in my 50's and I can't imagine going years without ejaculating. Ditto for most other men too. Sorry to be so blunt or graphic, but that is the truth. Something ain't right or something is going on you don't know about.

If things don't change, aren't likely to change, and you are unhappy with the situation...it's time to move on. Life is too short and time on earth is too precious to waste driving in circles.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

Well, is it that your husband doesn't express interest in you physically, or is it that neither of you are expressing intimately?

[Carlawarla 1]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

When you haven't been intimate in almost 3 years, and you're living together, and your husband is making statements to the above...yes, something is going on. What? We have no idea. Maybe it is time to move on...however we have no idea what's going on! I'm sure your husband's statements aren't coming out of the blue. There's been things going on for awhile now, and if you're looking for guidence on whether to leave or not, firstly think about marital counselling. Seems he's willing to "give it a go"...whatever that means! Are you?

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

I agree about this looking like a roommate living arrangement. Not being intimate for 3 yrs in a marriage is real odd. You have your ups & downs in a marriage, but you do make up eventually, right? I'm not sure what he means by 'this isnt working out and wont, but lets give it a try". Its like he doesnt want you to leave (like dont leave good roommate, I like the way you help keep the house), but at the same time he's saying this isnt going to work out as a marriage (and showing it with no intimacy in 3yrs).

I kinda agree with peejay, either something's wrong with him, or if he's lost interest in you, has he gained it in someone/something else?

Seems this relationship issue has been going on a while, maybe its time to have a real honest & open conversation about what's going on between you. Get all the cards out...

[diadromous mermaid 36]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

Well, if someone that I was married to said this to me, I would deduce (if I was not already acutely aware, that is) that the relationship had issues for some time; the parties knew that there were some basic incompatibilities; that the relationship lacled the spark or passion it might once have had and that the party was willing to give it one more shot, but that he didn't hold out much hope that this last shot would work, as if there had been other times when the couple had tried to improve the situation but they too failed. Them's my .02

[Nutty 2]

It doesn't sound good.

[NickD 203]

What does getting intimate mean in a marriage?

Am I missing something?

[DairyFarmer 1]

What does getting intimate mean in a marriage?

Am I missing something?

My understanding is intimate = sexual relations. But I think intimacy can be broader.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Well, the fact that you've only been intimate once in three years speaks volumes. Time to do some serious soul searching.

Diana

i'm thinking someone needs viagra.

[Mrs.J06 4]

When a husband says to you "I dont' see this working out .. but I'm willing to try". When he says "This isn't working .." and "I don't see this working ... we're just not getting along" ... and "It's been like this for four and a half years and I can't see it working out ... but I'll give it a go" ..

And on top of that when you' ve only been

intimate with your husband once in almost three years ..

Oh we've been married four and a half years ...

Time to move on???? Ask a silly question I suppose ..

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but to me "this isn't working... but I'm willing to try" means really "this isn't working, but I'll stick with it until I find something else/better".

I would prepare for the end of the relationship. Sad, but what kind of a marriage is it anyway?

I wish you good luck whatever you decide.