Jump to content

3,107 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Posted
But after getting the news yesterday from him and now knowing he lied to me those few days ago that he was coming to me while really he was still trying to find a way to make it work with his obligation he felt to his Sister leaves me heart broken. After everything I have been through with this man - loving him - standing by him - going through this miserable visa process for him. The truth of knowing that I am not important enough to him and that he is willing to go behind my back and email the embassy taking these risks and not believing what I tell him and possibly ruin any chance of ever coming here now with them and ruin our entire future to save face with his family makes my heart bleed.

Slow down and let's think about this.

Maybe, just maybe, what he's doing is trying to get an answer from the source. It's a safe bet there's someone else with their mouth to his ear, telling him conflicting information. All he's done is email the Embassy and ASK. It's not like he DID something he shouldn't only to suffer consequences later. Maybe, just maybe, he's thinking better safe than sorry, which makes sense.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
Timeline
Posted

He said something along those lines as well. That he was asking for formal information giving them the situation by email and letting them take the final decision and advise him. It's been over three days and he hasn't heard back from them. Before that I had told him that it wasn't possible for him to do what he was thinking and he needed to address the issue with his sister or I would do it for him. That was the twisting of the arm I was talking about. That's around the time when he wrote the embassy I think. I guess I got confused because he never said he'd dropped the issue with his sister. He just told me he would handle it with his sister and is making plans to come to me now. This lead me to believe it was a done deal and I had him and my Mom talking about flight schedules and prices to come here. Three days after the email to the embassy he tells me "he's done something" which that statement sets it up for "it's not a good thing what he's done" and then he tells me about emailing the embassy. I got upset because it felt like he lied to me but it was me that was under the belief from assumption. This is what LDR's get you in ways of communication. So after taking some liberties and indulging in much beer and pity partying and riding the bus were I can't sleep what it comes down to is I need him more. I need him more than his Sister or anyone else does and maybe I'm selfish but I don't like losing and him going against my wishes. He's finally coming here but it may not be to me first and while my mind knows all the pro's and con's and can rationalize the whole situation my young heart is throwing a fit. I've put up with a lot and I'm finally getting my man with me but then he's got his own ideas and won't listen to you and it's like having your present taken away the day before Christmas. Sometimes I forget about the child inside me and my abandonment issues and forget to nurture her. She wants what she wants and she got hurt not getting her way and feels she is being punished when she doesn't deserve that. :blush: That's a very old wound from emotional child abuse too and it really hurts to go there again and feel that pain all over when you think your done with it. So in a way this was a sort of processing, reflection, learning and healing as well.

He showed me his love is endless and to wipe my tears everything is ok. I believe him and feel better at least even though I still don't know what's going to happen.

Still no movement on the DHL today.

paDvm8.png0sD7m8.png

mRhYm8.png8tham8.png

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: France
Timeline
Posted
He said something along those lines as well. That he was asking for formal information giving them the situation by email and letting them take the final decision and advise him. It's been over three days and he hasn't heard back from them. Before that I had told him that it wasn't possible for him to do what he was thinking and he needed to address the issue with his sister or I would do it for him. That was the twisting of the arm I was talking about. That's around the time when he wrote the embassy I think. I guess I got confused because he never said he'd dropped the issue with his sister. He just told me he would handle it with his sister and is making plans to come to me now. This lead me to believe it was a done deal and I had him and my Mom talking about flight schedules and prices to come here. Three days after the email to the embassy he tells me "he's done something" which that statement sets it up for "it's not a good thing what he's done" and then he tells me about emailing the embassy. I got upset because it felt like he lied to me but it was me that was under the belief from assumption. This is what LDR's get you in ways of communication. So after taking some liberties and indulging in much beer and pity partying and riding the bus were I can't sleep what it comes down to is I need him more. I need him more than his Sister or anyone else does and maybe I'm selfish but I don't like losing and him going against my wishes. He's finally coming here but it may not be to me first and while my mind knows all the pro's and con's and can rationalize the whole situation my young heart is throwing a fit. I've put up with a lot and I'm finally getting my man with me but then he's got his own ideas and won't listen to you and it's like having your present taken away the day before Christmas. Sometimes I forget about the child inside me and my abandonment issues and forget to nurture her. She wants what she wants and she got hurt not getting her way and feels she is being punished when she doesn't deserve that. :blush: That's a very old wound from emotional child abuse too and it really hurts to go there again and feel that pain all over when you think your done with it. So in a way this was a sort of processing, reflection, learning and healing as well.

He showed me his love is endless and to wipe my tears everything is ok. I believe him and feel better at least even though I still don't know what's going to happen.

Still no movement on the DHL today.

I'm selfish like that too. My husband has one week in France between his tests and before I left he said he wasn't going to go visit his family in Morocco and then last week he says he wants to and then I said no, blah blah and then finally i gave up telling him no and he books his ticket to Morocco for one week. I was and still am very mad because before he was supposed to come and spend Eid with me and now he's going to Morocco and spending some days of Ramadan and Eid with the family and not with me.

Olivia, inshallah I hope everything works out and I pray inshallah the visa gets to him SOON! I will be so excited that day inshallah. Take care (hugs) :luv:

Met: 2004-07-18

Islamic marriage: 2006-07-31

Marriage : 2008-12-27

Entry San Fran 2009-09-27

Hubby is HOME!!!!

Received SSN 2009-10-06

Received welcome letter 2009-10-10

GREEN CARD!!! 2009-10-13

Driver's License 2009-10-26

HUBBY FOUND A JOB!!! after about 4 months of being here :)

Posted
He said something along those lines as well. That he was asking for formal information giving them the situation by email and letting them take the final decision and advise him. It's been over three days and he hasn't heard back from them. Before that I had told him that it wasn't possible for him to do what he was thinking and he needed to address the issue with his sister or I would do it for him. That was the twisting of the arm I was talking about. That's around the time when he wrote the embassy I think. I guess I got confused because he never said he'd dropped the issue with his sister. He just told me he would handle it with his sister and is making plans to come to me now. This lead me to believe it was a done deal and I had him and my Mom talking about flight schedules and prices to come here. Three days after the email to the embassy he tells me "he's done something" which that statement sets it up for "it's not a good thing what he's done" and then he tells me about emailing the embassy. I got upset because it felt like he lied to me but it was me that was under the belief from assumption. This is what LDR's get you in ways of communication. So after taking some liberties and indulging in much beer and pity partying and riding the bus were I can't sleep what it comes down to is I need him more. I need him more than his Sister or anyone else does and maybe I'm selfish but I don't like losing and him going against my wishes. He's finally coming here but it may not be to me first and while my mind knows all the pro's and con's and can rationalize the whole situation my young heart is throwing a fit. I've put up with a lot and I'm finally getting my man with me but then he's got his own ideas and won't listen to you and it's like having your present taken away the day before Christmas. Sometimes I forget about the child inside me and my abandonment issues and forget to nurture her. She wants what she wants and she got hurt not getting her way and feels she is being punished when she doesn't deserve that. :blush: That's a very old wound from emotional child abuse too and it really hurts to go there again and feel that pain all over when you think your done with it. So in a way this was a sort of processing, reflection, learning and healing as well.

He showed me his love is endless and to wipe my tears everything is ok. I believe him and feel better at least even though I still don't know what's going to happen.

Still no movement on the DHL today.

I'm pretty sure Lisa posted something to this effect already...but, isn't the whole reason he was granted a visa to come to the US was so that he could live with his wife? The fact that he's not going to be living with his wife - won't that constitute fraud in some way? I'm no expert, just wondering. It seems odd at best, incredibly suspect at worst. THe husband's a doctor, right? If I'm a govt employee looking at and evaluating the situation, I'd be wondering why he's living near one of the best hospitals in the country, with his sister (also a doctor?) and not his wife. It seems like false pretenses all the way around - to you; to the govt, etc. He wasn't approved for a visa to be a nanny to his sister, but to be a husband to his American wife.

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: France
Timeline
Posted
I'm pretty sure Lisa posted something to this effect already...but, isn't the whole reason he was granted a visa to come to the US was so that he could live with his wife? The fact that he's not going to be living with his wife - won't that constitute fraud in some way? I'm no expert, just wondering. It seems odd at best, incredibly suspect at worst. THe husband's a doctor, right? If I'm a govt employee looking at and evaluating the situation, I'd be wondering why he's living near one of the best hospitals in the country, with his sister (also a doctor?) and not his wife. It seems like false pretenses all the way around - to you; to the govt, etc. He wasn't approved for a visa to be a nanny to his sister, but to be a husband to his American wife.

:thumbs: Liv I wish you the best! (L)

Met: 2004-07-18

Islamic marriage: 2006-07-31

Marriage : 2008-12-27

Entry San Fran 2009-09-27

Hubby is HOME!!!!

Received SSN 2009-10-06

Received welcome letter 2009-10-10

GREEN CARD!!! 2009-10-13

Driver's License 2009-10-26

HUBBY FOUND A JOB!!! after about 4 months of being here :)

Posted
I'm pretty sure Lisa posted something to this effect already...but, isn't the whole reason he was granted a visa to come to the US was so that he could live with his wife? The fact that he's not going to be living with his wife - won't that constitute fraud in some way? I'm no expert, just wondering. It seems odd at best, incredibly suspect at worst. THe husband's a doctor, right? If I'm a govt employee looking at and evaluating the situation, I'd be wondering why he's living near one of the best hospitals in the country, with his sister (also a doctor?) and not his wife. It seems like false pretenses all the way around - to you; to the govt, etc. He wasn't approved for a visa to be a nanny to his sister, but to be a husband to his American wife.

:thumbs: Liv I wish you the best! (L)

Ditto. But, it really seems like he's taking a huge risk. I just can't imagine going through this huge process only to have husband say he's going to live with a family member, not his wife when he gets here. Wouldn't that feel risky, careless, and disrespectful of the marriage and the life with wife?

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Syria
Timeline
Posted
I'm selfish like that too. My husband has one week in France between his tests and before I left he said he wasn't going to go visit his family in Morocco and then last week he says he wants to and then I said no, blah blah and then finally i gave up telling him no and he books his ticket to Morocco for one week. I was and still am very mad because before he was supposed to come and spend Eid with me and now he's going to Morocco and spending some days of Ramadan and Eid with the family and not with me.

Olivia, inshallah I hope everything works out and I pray inshallah the visa gets to him SOON! I will be so excited that day inshallah. Take care (hugs) :luv:

no offense sister, but he's going to be coming to you for a lifetime hopefully anyways. and he probably won't be able to see these family members for quite some time...i don't blame him for his decision...not everyone can up and fly halfway across the way just to see family and friends....at least, not most people out there :)

hope it all works out in the end.

Timeline:

Sent in I-130 form: 01/29/09

Interview Date: 11/08/09 (APPROVED!)

Visa in Hand: 11/12/09

POE: 01/30/10 (!!!!) at JFK Airport in NYC... can't wait!

Got the green card maybe 8 weeks after 01/30/10...

TBC....

======================================================================

Posted
I'm pretty sure Lisa posted something to this effect already...but, isn't the whole reason he was granted a visa to come to the US was so that he could live with his wife? The fact that he's not going to be living with his wife - won't that constitute fraud in some way? I'm no expert, just wondering. It seems odd at best, incredibly suspect at worst. THe husband's a doctor, right? If I'm a govt employee looking at and evaluating the situation, I'd be wondering why he's living near one of the best hospitals in the country, with his sister (also a doctor?) and not his wife. It seems like false pretenses all the way around - to you; to the govt, etc. He wasn't approved for a visa to be a nanny to his sister, but to be a husband to his American wife.

:thumbs: Liv I wish you the best! (L)

Ditto. But, it really seems like he's taking a huge risk. I just can't imagine going through this huge process only to have husband say he's going to live with a family member, not his wife when he gets here. Wouldn't that feel risky, careless, and disrespectful of the marriage and the life with wife?

Lots of members report after the receiving the visa the overseas spouse go and visit their families before being reunited. Usually though, its not in the USA. It might be unusual, but its a stretch to call it fraudulent as suggested above.

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: France
Timeline
Posted
I'm selfish like that too. My husband has one week in France between his tests and before I left he said he wasn't going to go visit his family in Morocco and then last week he says he wants to and then I said no, blah blah and then finally i gave up telling him no and he books his ticket to Morocco for one week. I was and still am very mad because before he was supposed to come and spend Eid with me and now he's going to Morocco and spending some days of Ramadan and Eid with the family and not with me.

Olivia, inshallah I hope everything works out and I pray inshallah the visa gets to him SOON! I will be so excited that day inshallah. Take care (hugs) :luv:

no offense sister, but he's going to be coming to you for a lifetime hopefully anyways. and he probably won't be able to see these family members for quite some time...i don't blame him for his decision...not everyone can up and fly halfway across the way just to see family and friends....at least, not most people out there :)

hope it all works out in the end.

True...that's why my husband had to make his "last" trip to Morocco before he flew out here. Maybe I didn't understand everything, but I don't know if the visa workers would believe he went to live with his sister for some time just to babysit her kids...

Met: 2004-07-18

Islamic marriage: 2006-07-31

Marriage : 2008-12-27

Entry San Fran 2009-09-27

Hubby is HOME!!!!

Received SSN 2009-10-06

Received welcome letter 2009-10-10

GREEN CARD!!! 2009-10-13

Driver's License 2009-10-26

HUBBY FOUND A JOB!!! after about 4 months of being here :)

 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
- Back to Top -

Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...