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Please Help!! Confused and Don't Know Where to Begin...

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Huh? What? Lurking very presumptive statements.... are you responding to the right thread or person, is this informative :blink: piece of information (judgement) meant for the original poster or Louis from the other thread ?

The captain of the scammer police brigade..... :wacko: (on duty) always ready to save the day....

Something else that is concerning that has not been mentioned is the time you spent talking online. It is extremely expensive to get online in Nigeria. Only people with money have it at home that have to contend with the power outages to boot.

If he was trying to scam you, he is online trying to scam others while he maintains this relationship with you.

So even if your relationship has turned legit there is a good chance he is scamming other people. Scammers do not fall in love and just stop scamming. This is his way of life and if he found his way to it he will continue until another form of money is available. Would you want to be with someone who scams for a living? Even if it is there only way of making a means?

If someone is sick in the hospital in Nigeria you are not chatting online at all unless you are rich. Internet cafe's are expensive and per minute use. Some are owned by scammer so that is when a scammer is set up for free, because they are bringing in an income. Mutual people will pretend to be one person so that if one is in the cafe they can correspond for the person who might not be able to make it in.

I only wish you the best. No one doubt you or your capabliities or mean to insult you. These scammers are educated people with degrees and no place to use them.

You will get support with your journey no matter what you chose so keep comming back. It works if you work it! *wink

Naturalization

7/14 Mailed Packet

7/19 NOA

8/14 Biometrics

8/17 In line for Interview

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You could be right. trying to quickly read the posts I might be in the wrong thread. Oops. I had a ahuh moment and came back to the wrong place.

Presumptive statements. Sorry they are. But it doesnt take a rocket scientist to know that if you meet someone who is trying to scam you he doesn't just pack up and quit.

I am the captian. Thank you we_destiny! I wish I could change my profile name.

Huh? What? Lurking very presumptive statements.... are you responding to the right thread or person, is this informative :blink: piece of information (judgement) meant for the original poster or Louis from the other thread ?

The captain of the scammer police brigade..... :wacko: (on duty) always ready to save the day....

Something else that is concerning that has not been mentioned is the time you spent talking online. It is extremely expensive to get online in Nigeria. Only people with money have it at home that have to contend with the power outages to boot.

If he was trying to scam you, he is online trying to scam others while he maintains this relationship with you.

So even if your relationship has turned legit there is a good chance he is scamming other people. Scammers do not fall in love and just stop scamming. This is his way of life and if he found his way to it he will continue until another form of money is available. Would you want to be with someone who scams for a living? Even if it is there only way of making a means?

If someone is sick in the hospital in Nigeria you are not chatting online at all unless you are rich. Internet cafe's are expensive and per minute use. Some are owned by scammer so that is when a scammer is set up for free, because they are bringing in an income. Mutual people will pretend to be one person so that if one is in the cafe they can correspond for the person who might not be able to make it in.

I only wish you the best. No one doubt you or your capabliities or mean to insult you. These scammers are educated people with degrees and no place to use them.

You will get support with your journey no matter what you chose so keep comming back. It works if you work it! *wink

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My sister, please don't get upset and take my words as a personal attack. One thing you will know about me is that I will always be honest and speak my truth, even about the dumb choices I made. Now you said you don't know what in what you wrote makes us think, feel or believe ( don't want to quote you directly ' cause I for got the exact words) but you are dealing with lots of people who for years and many months have been there done that and are doing that, and our eyes have and will see a lot when it comes to these type of relationships. My journey started in 2003. So when these knowledgeable people come and say your words are making the hair on their neck stand up, that is not to put you down, but that is to give you something to work with on ALL FRONTS and ANGLES. Being successful at EMBASSY HELL in Lagos is not making sure that your paperwork is in order and you got enough pictures. It takes a hell of a lot more than that, and if they smell a rat, FORGET IT!!!! They will put you through HELL!!! THEY TRAIN CO's in LAGOS to ship them to other countries to work because they know that it is scam central!!!! I know people high up in MBC and they say it is SOP. You my sister are the first person I have ever known who has not been like a school girl when she falls in love. Can you find a way to bottle that up and sell it? I think we could all benefit from a potion that allows us to love without limits and still keep our senses about us.

One'st again, when you are in love with that intial passion, oh yeah, the physical desire for that person is great, and that is just the physical side of expressing that love and passion, so encouraging you to enjoy him physically was not my saying you are desperate. Determined, YES, but not desperate. Again you are grown. Do Yo' Thang!!! Let me clarify something else, to me it does not matter if your situation is domestic or abroad, a man is a man PERIOD, and if you came on here and wrote that you were going to marry or get engaged to man you met here after spending physical time with him for a week, I would say WHOA!!!!! That what be kinda one of those What Happens in Vegas.......The difference in this journey is that there are higher stakes and consequences to your actions. One'st more again, YOU'RE GROWN! Your decisions and consequences are your own. You will find here that people may not like or agree with those choices. Some will say so, some will not, but we do support each other no matter what. Same thing with me. My family and friends wanted to have me committed, but they knew that it was my choice and decision, so they supported me when I started smoking the pipe to when I went to recovery. Never said I told you so, they just helped by loving me through the pain and withdrawal.

One'st again lastly, Do yo' THANG!!!!!! I believe in being my sisters keeper even when the words may sting. Some people won't care enough to tell you that you got a stalk of broccoli in your teeth, or that you need a tic tac, but I will. Not to demean, degrade or pour hatorade ( DAMN I made a rhyme), but to give you another piece to consider. Take care my sis. I'll see you around on the block later.

UNO, after I finish my book, you and I need to write one called: P.H.A.T. Sisters Wisdom From the Ghetto. I smell best seller ......MO MONEY MO MONEY!!!!!!

Thank you for your response.

Honestly, I am not upset by your post nor did I take it as a personal attack. Just because I addressed the comments made in your post does not mean I am upset by what you say. If I respond to things someone writes in their post, I am on the defensive and "crazy in love" and if I don't respond I am not listening to what is written. So, I have made the decision from this point forward to no longer respond to comments that do not answer the question posed in my initial thread.

Yes, I am determined to meet E and see what happens. Some people want to view their investment portfolio before fully commiting to it. I want to see early if E and I have a connection worth investing in. I don't want to wait a long time to know that much. What's the point of going through months of time and money if when we finally meet each other and we aren't connecting.

I think it is a generalization to say that when a person is in the initial stages of love, the physical desire is great. Not true in every case and it doesn't apply in mine. Unlike what you write, E and I rarely talk about sex. I don't have to talk to someone in Africa to express my sexual desire. I am very attractive (not to say un-attractive people have to) and I always get approached by the opposite sex, for sex, so the last thing that is going to influence my decision to jump on a plane to meet someone at this stage in my life is his candy stick. In fact, I am a bit hesitant to partake in such activity with E until we have undergone a full panel of std testing. We have discussed this and we both agree that it is necessary. I for one am a person that is against any kind of generalizations being made about any person, group (a man is a man, all black women have attitudes) or thing because this is the very thinking that breeds prejudice and injustice in the world. Each persons experience is unique and I think we all need to remember that. Your circumstances, red flags, emotions, and outcome was your story. Not everyone that has what sounds like a similar situation make the same choices you made and have the same outcome.

Prior to coming to this forum, I researched scams and read hundreds of stories/warnings. I'm still getting them and E and I already know that this is something that we will have to hear for as long as we are together. There will always be naysayers and we are not trying to stay in the tunnel of bad news. In the end, I am comfortable with my decision and that's why I asked for advice on what route we should take. Since my initial post, I have said once or twice to myself that maybe I shouldn't have posted that E initially tried to scam me but I have nothing to hide and I wanted to be honest about our situation so that we could get honest advice on what route we should take to be together.

Peoples views on marriage also differ. Not everyone believes in a love marriage.... love marriages fail at a far greater rate than arranged or faith based marriages. So while some may be shocked to hear that a person met someone and a week later got married people in other countries don't find it shocking at all. I am okay with arranged marriages because I don't base the success of a relationship on length of time, what stage of love you are in, how good the sex is, or any other superficial reason. For me, a relationship is about mental, emotional, and spiritual compatibility and the couple's commitment to staying in the relationship through thick and thin. Sex is the icing on the cake because for some the level of sex you have will lessen with time. I know for certain that this is 1 difference in how Americans and non-Americans view love and relationships.

If the Embassy should have a problem with our file......no problem. As I keep saying if things don't happen in a reasonable time E and I will remain friends but I am not looking to marry the Nigerian Embassy.

Seriously, I would really like to know what are these higher stakes and consequences for your actions?

If it has to do with the government or legally I really want to know.

However, if it involves tales of heartache and E getting a green card I am not afraid of that and I am okay with seeing how things play out.

IMO it is the same as marrying someone, the marriage failing and they take everything you worked hard for in a divorce. You still gone be pissed off and feel betrayed. All failed relationships suck but one thing I have learned from being in a relationship is that in time there will be a light at the end of the tunnel and the only person standing between it taking YOU 1 day, 1 year or a lifetime to step into the light is YOU and how long YOU allow yourself to stay stuck in the tunnel.

Thanks again for your time and advice :)

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Hey We_Destiny,

Yes the tranformation is still on track, however I am stuck at 48lbs lost. What's my method? I stopped eating all that stuff that made me BIG in the first place. I got diagnosed with diabetes last year, and I HATE sticking my finger everyday, so I am determined to get it into remission, and weight loss will help achieve that. So, I spend the extra money for prepackaged calorie controlled snacks, and single serving meals for when I can't cook myself, the majority of my meat intake now is fish, turkey and chicken, but occassionally will still rock a hamburger like WHOA!!!!!! So its been a lot of changes to my emotional ties and habits with food that have helped me to be successful so far. So I have a mini goal to lose 20lbs before summer is over, so we'll see what happens. Slow and steady wins the race I've been told! Thanks for asking, Girl. :ot2:

3/14/06 - ACTED A FOOL 1 month to the day GC received!!!

9/21/07- Went to the LAUNDROMAT. Visa Journey OVER FOR GOOD!!!!!

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Imnop123,

Even though I personally think your situation got more red flags than all those that will fly in Bejing for the Olympics :wow: , I gotta say, "Do yo' Thang, GIRLFRIEND!!!!!" Life is too short, and sometimes we do have to take a chance, but if you are a religious woman, is your decision led by God, or is your desire to be with the man at all costs? Oh I knew mine was from God, otherwise how did I meet the perfect man more than 8,000 miles away? What I have always said from the day I first posted my story is that we are all grown A$$ women, makin' grown A$$ decisions whether they are good or bad. The key is to make sure that you don't invest more than you can afford to invest financially or emotionally. Because if it works, you will get a return on your investment tenfold, and if it don't, you will have enough strength to survive and become an even better woman than you started, 'cause you stared Satan in the face and whooped his A$$!

Angelic, where in the HELL where you when I needed to hear YOUR story? Same script, different cast! That is another thing I have always said that brought on some struck nerves. If yo' man or wo MAN ain't investing anything in the relationship besides good ding ding or good meow, then you got a problem. It's sad for me to say, but the best and consistent thing about my marriage was the daily supply of BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!!!!!!A good man will be a good man in ALL seasons, and just because his A$$ gets transplanted in God's own country does not automatically make him a responsible man! So if he is on the internet and the phone with you during work hours EVERYDAY, don't think he's gonna come over here and work like the valliant young boys and men selling LaCasera and sausage rolls on the streets of Lagos to support their families! It AIN'T GON' HAPPEN!!!

Now another thing I found quite amusing was when I was going through my visa journey, I was everybody's DAMN WIFE!!!! I think it was OUR IYAWO? If I'm wrong my Yoruba bros and sis' correct me. But when his A$$ acted a fool, I was no longer Morenike Iyawo, but the ex wife in America!!! Now when my Nigerian friends here in the states and in Nigeria saw what went down between us they started singing like canaries!!!! " You should neva trust Nigerians!!!!! (their words to me, not mine, so don't get touchy). I said, " then why the hell you tell me this NOW and not THEN!!!!? " We just pray that God will be wit you and 'im". RIGHT!!!!

Now I call my visajourney period my Crack Period, 'cause when I put that crack pipe down, and my lasik eye surgery kicked in and I got 20/20 vision, I saw EVERYTHING crystal clearly! I can't tell you what made me take leave of my senses, and believe me, I am a strong, beautiful, intelligent and self sufficient young woman who became Dumb & Dumber when I met my ex..... Yes I can tell you what made me trip... it was the draw of the Candy Stick!!!! So anyway girl, go get yo' love on! Let your heart and inhibitions go, and drop it like it's hot AMERICAN STYLE, but don't let go of your common sense and your female intuition, because as women we like to ignore it when it's whispering something we don't want to hear. Now go get the Red Light Special, and work it like a champion, 'cause either you will walk away having the best DAMN Smack Down of your life, or you will have a good partner who will dish up Red Light Specials on a daily basis for life, AND without the aid of VIAGRA!!!!!! Peace!!! :thumbs:

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Imnop123,

Even though I personally think your situation got more red flags than all those that will fly in Bejing for the Olympics :wow: , I gotta say, "Do yo' Thang, GIRLFRIEND!!!!!" Life is too short, and sometimes we do have to take a chance, but if you are a religious woman, is your decision led by God, or is your desire to be with the man at all costs? Oh I knew mine was from God, otherwise how did I meet the perfect man more than 8,000 miles away? What I have always said from the day I first posted my story is that we are all grown A$$ women, makin' grown A$$ decisions whether they are good or bad. The key is to make sure that you don't invest more than you can afford to invest financially or emotionally. Because if it works, you will get a return on your investment tenfold, and if it don't, you will have enough strength to survive and become an even better woman than you started, 'cause you stared Satan in the face and whooped his A$$!

Angelic, where in the HELL where you when I needed to hear YOUR story? Same script, different cast! That is another thing I have always said that brought on some struck nerves. If yo' man or wo MAN ain't investing anything in the relationship besides good ding ding or good meow, then you got a problem. It's sad for me to say, but the best and consistent thing about my marriage was the daily supply of BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!!!!!!A good man will be a good man in ALL seasons, and just because his A$$ gets transplanted in God's own country does not automatically make him a responsible man! So if he is on the internet and the phone with you during work hours EVERYDAY, don't think he's gonna come over here and work like the valliant young boys and men selling LaCasera and sausage rolls on the streets of Lagos to support their families! It AIN'T GON' HAPPEN!!!

Now another thing I found quite amusing was when I was going through my visa journey, I was everybody's DAMN WIFE!!!! I think it was OUR IYAWO? If I'm wrong my Yoruba bros and sis' correct me. But when his A$$ acted a fool, I was no longer Morenike Iyawo, but the ex wife in America!!! Now when my Nigerian friends here in the states and in Nigeria saw what went down between us they started singing like canaries!!!! " You should neva trust Nigerians!!!!! (their words to me, not mine, so don't get touchy). I said, " then why the hell you tell me this NOW and not THEN!!!!? " We just pray that God will be wit you and 'im". RIGHT!!!!

Now I call my visajourney period my Crack Period, 'cause when I put that crack pipe down, and my lasik eye surgery kicked in and I got 20/20 vision, I saw EVERYTHING crystal clearly! I can't tell you what made me take leave of my senses, and believe me, I am a strong, beautiful, intelligent and self sufficient young woman who became Dumb & Dumber when I met my ex..... Yes I can tell you what made me trip... it was the draw of the Candy Stick!!!! So anyway girl, go get yo' love on! Let your heart and inhibitions go, and drop it like it's hot AMERICAN STYLE, but don't let go of your common sense and your female intuition, because as women we like to ignore it when it's whispering something we don't want to hear. Now go get the Red Light Special, and work it like a champion, 'cause either you will walk away having the best DAMN Smack Down of your life, or you will have a good partner who will dish up Red Light Specials on a daily basis for life, AND without the aid of VIAGRA!!!!!! Peace!!! :thumbs:

You are right......Iyawo Mi is My Wife........(my hubby's Yoruba). Thanks for the laugh!!!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Something else that is concerning that has not been mentioned is the time you spent talking online. It is extremely expensive to get online in Nigeria. Only people with money have it at home that have to contend with the power outages to boot.

If he was trying to scam you, he is online trying to scam others while he maintains this relationship with you.

So even if your relationship has turned legit there is a good chance he is scamming other people. Scammers do not fall in love and just stop scamming. This is his way of life and if he found his way to it he will continue until another form of money is available. Would you want to be with someone who scams for a living? Even if it is there only way of making a means?

If someone is sick in the hospital in Nigeria you are not chatting online at all unless you are rich. Internet cafe's are expensive and per minute use. Some are owned by scammer so that is when a scammer is set up for free, because they are bringing in an income. Mutual people will pretend to be one person so that if one is in the cafe they can correspond for the person who might not be able to make it in.

I only wish you the best. No one doubt you or your capabliities or mean to insult you. These scammers are educated people with degrees and no place to use them.

You will get support with your journey no matter what you chose so keep comming back. It works if you work it! *wink

Thank you for your post.

I am confused as to who this post was addressed to but I never said that E and I talk on the internet. We rarely email or talk on the internet. We only use the internet/webcam when I really want to see him. He has limited his visits to the internet cafe and most of the time he only goes when I have specifically told him I emailed him something. We do plan to increase our emailing though to create a trail for our case.

Another thing we need to remember is that everyone is not blessed with the same opportunities and blessings that we have. Where you and I may feel like it is beneath us to do a certain job to survive we aren't living in a 3rd world country to know or experience that person's level of desperateness. Every person out there scamming, prostituting (Africa/Asia/So.America to name a few), selling drugs, robbing etc.. aren't doing it because they want to. Some of us know that in Nigeria there can be thousands of people applying for 1 job and it is very competitive. Not everyone can afford to go to college and even when they can they still have to compete for limited admission. No one on here would want to walk a day in the shoes of someone on the streets of Nigeria selling fruit or using whatever God gave you to barter for food and money. Why judge? If we as Americans were so willing to do whatever it takes to survive we wouldn't subscribe to the ideology that we NEED immigrants in this country to do the jobs Americans don't want to do.

I am in no way okaying what a scammer does (I am a lawyer so I wouldn't okay illegal activity) but I am not in a position to judge or generalize either.

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Something else that is concerning that has not been mentioned is the time you spent talking online. It is extremely expensive to get online in Nigeria. Only people with money have it at home that have to contend with the power outages to boot.

If he was trying to scam you, he is online trying to scam others while he maintains this relationship with you.

So even if your relationship has turned legit there is a good chance he is scamming other people. Scammers do not fall in love and just stop scamming. This is his way of life and if he found his way to it he will continue until another form of money is available. Would you want to be with someone who scams for a living? Even if it is there only way of making a means?

If someone is sick in the hospital in Nigeria you are not chatting online at all unless you are rich. Internet cafe's are expensive and per minute use. Some are owned by scammer so that is when a scammer is set up for free, because they are bringing in an income. Mutual people will pretend to be one person so that if one is in the cafe they can correspond for the person who might not be able to make it in.

I only wish you the best. No one doubt you or your capabliities or mean to insult you. These scammers are educated people with degrees and no place to use them.

You will get support with your journey no matter what you chose so keep comming back. It works if you work it! *wink

Thank you for your post.

I am confused as to who this post was addressed to but I never said that E and I talk on the internet. We rarely email or talk on the internet. We only use the internet/webcam when I really want to see him. He has limited his visits to the internet cafe and most of the time he only goes when I have specifically told him I emailed him something. We do plan to increase our emailing though to create a trail for our case.

Another thing we need to remember is that everyone is not blessed with the same opportunities and blessings that we have. Where you and I may feel like it is beneath us to do a certain job to survive we aren't living in a 3rd world country to know or experience that person's level of desperateness. Every person out there scamming, prostituting (Africa/Asia/So.America to name a few), selling drugs, robbing etc.. aren't doing it because they want to. Some of us know that in Nigeria there can be thousands of people applying for 1 job and it is very competitive. Not everyone can afford to go to college and even when they can they still have to compete for limited admission. No one on here would want to walk a day in the shoes of someone on the streets of Nigeria selling fruit or using whatever God gave you to barter for food and money. Why judge? If we as Americans were so willing to do whatever it takes to survive we wouldn't subscribe to the ideology that we NEED immigrants in this country to do the jobs Americans don't want to do.

I am in no way okaying what a scammer does (I am a lawyer so I wouldn't okay illegal activity) but I am not in a position to judge or generalize either.

I don't really want to jump in the middle of this, but I just wanted to say that I think Lurking was either referring to Lois or not realizing that this thread is trying to deal with two different stories at the same time and mixed everything together.

K-1 (more detail in profile):

05-25-05 - Applied for I-129F

06-07-05 - Approved

12-01-05 - Picked up visa!!

AOS:

12-25-05 - Flight lands at JFK - EAD stamp

05-15-06 - Green card received!! Woo-hoo!!!

05-09-07 - Our first son born!

Removal of Conditions

01-29-08 - Mailed Removal of Conditions Application (overnight)

02-07-08 - Check Cashed

02-08-08 - NOA1

03-12-08 - Biometrics

12-12-08 - Card production ordered! Yay!

12-30-08 - 10 year card received! Yay!

Naturalization

01-12-10 - Mailed application

01-20-10 - NOA

02-16-10 - Biometrics

04-21-10 - Interview

04-21-10 - Oath ceremony - US CITIZEN!!!

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UNCLE, UNCLE, UNCLE, I said UNCLE already!!!!!! Imnop123, can you bring me back some LaCasera? Boy do I miss that drink!!!!!!! I am a good paying customer. When you get there try it and let me know if you like it.

Edited by BESANGIN

3/14/06 - ACTED A FOOL 1 month to the day GC received!!!

9/21/07- Went to the LAUNDROMAT. Visa Journey OVER FOR GOOD!!!!!

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Huh? What? Lurking very presumptive statements.... are you responding to the right thread or person, is this informative :blink: piece of information (judgement) meant for the original poster or Louis from the other thread ?

The captain of the scammer police brigade..... :wacko: (on duty) always ready to save the day....

Something else that is concerning that has not been mentioned is the time you spent talking online. It is extremely expensive to get online in Nigeria. Only people with money have it at home that have to contend with the power outages to boot.

If he was trying to scam you, he is online trying to scam others while he maintains this relationship with you.

So even if your relationship has turned legit there is a good chance he is scamming other people. Scammers do not fall in love and just stop scamming. This is his way of life and if he found his way to it he will continue until another form of money is available. Would you want to be with someone who scams for a living? Even if it is there only way of making a means?

If someone is sick in the hospital in Nigeria you are not chatting online at all unless you are rich. Internet cafe's are expensive and per minute use. Some are owned by scammer so that is when a scammer is set up for free, because they are bringing in an income. Mutual people will pretend to be one person so that if one is in the cafe they can correspond for the person who might not be able to make it in.

I only wish you the best. No one doubt you or your capabliities or mean to insult you. These scammers are educated people with degrees and no place to use them.

You will get support with your journey no matter what you chose so keep comming back. It works if you work it! *wink

I agree, these are generalizations and judgements. We can not possibly look into the heart of anyone's SO and say that.

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There are good people in this world and bad people in this world. Only God can judge the heart but that is why God gave us the ability to use our perspective powers of reasoning, logic, and understanding.

Now I know alot of people do not like my opinions but they are just that, "my" opinions. I have never said that my word is "the word" or that I know more than anyone else on this board. I give my opinion and suggestions on matters based only on my own reasoining and understanding and also on my own experiances in life. Am I always right? NO. Am I always wrong? NO. Just becuase I give my opinion does not mean I think I am perfect or that I cannot learn anything from anyone else. This forum is like a good stew. Someone gave us the recipe but all of us have a new ingrediant to add. One persons choice may not be to the liking of the other but that does not mean that the person should be made to feel that they cannot freely add their own. It is the variety in all of us that gave us this very informative and wonderful site in the first place. I can tell you that I have learned somthing from everyone on this site. I have gained so much knowledge here. Knowledge on the world, knowledge on life, and knoweldge on ways to improve charachter. I value everyones thoughts and opinions becuase I know that there is always something that I can take away from it.

With that said, I am asking all of us to try to find value in each other becuase we all have something to offer. We all hold value here. There is not one of us that does not have somthing to offer or somthing we can learn. If we can respect everyones opinion whether we agree with or not will keep this forum where its supposed to be instead of a mud slinging fight. And before anyone misreads what I am trying to say, this post is not directed at any one person here. I have posted this to all of us in hopes that we can always strive to move past the bad feelings that are bound to appear from all of our diffrent perspectives.

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That is a good post 4theloveofhenry and I agree.

But once in a while someone throws too much salt in the stew and then the stew takes on a different taste. And then some voice their opinions that the salt is too heavy to make it palatable and that is ok too and their opinion to say nope too much salt here ;)

We need to keep it respectful with opinions of generalizations.

Bon apetite , grab a spoon and pull up a chair :)

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
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I have some goat meat to add to the stew :unsure:

Enough with the doomsday....People here are grown and I can tell you the pot is hot and that you should not touch it. But, if you decide to touch it even if I disagree it is your choice. All I know that I said to you what was in my heart to say, and will be able to move on. You may get burned you may not, but either way I will be three to walk with you whatever path choosen.

If someone would have told me my husband was scamming me I would not have believed them, I know that anything is possible and I can only make decisions from what I feel is right for me. I have made some wrong ones but, I have made more right one using the same logic. It is my opinion that we should not nag and harras people all repeating the same scammer comments. There has been a many of times I have typed something and walked away, I will come back and copy my thoughts and see what the last post pointed to. Alot of times I would read my exact same thoughts posted by someone else or the flow of the conversation might take a turn, so I don't post those thoughts. I lost my window to comment or the relevancy of the point..... so be it.

I am merely saying that it does not take 35 people saying the exact same thing making the exact same warning. If maybe, you see someone has already posted your sentiments maybe the thumbs or diitto or just silence knowing your point was already made by someone else might suffice. JMHO

Edited by We_Destiny

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
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I don't really want to jump in the middle of this, but I just wanted to say that I think Lurking was either referring to Lois or not realizing that this thread is trying to deal with two different stories at the same time and mixed everything together.

Yes thank you Kanyiri. I didn't realize that there were two stories going on. Some people are not familiar with the lack of internet access in Nigeria or the expenses associated with the use.

I do not judge scammers or agree with, but if I can prevent someone from getting scammed that would be good. Yes, I will be in every forum that discuss is scam possibilities. To help not and not to harm.

My post was made quickly (while at work) and I should have thought it out more quickly before I typed it. I apologize. I forget that you are not safe when you post in African Sub Sahara forum. Regular people like to analyzing, assign meaning and criticizing your post with out asking for a clearer explanation.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
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You are so right. I love your way with words and illustrations. I also have to say to that disagreaing with someone and insulting them personally is two diffrent things. Expressing to someone that maybe they have been a bit harsh or judgmental is fair. We all have done it, but when we insult someones personal charachter or call them derogitory names and throw out insults then we have forgotten what it means to have differing opinions on a forum and turned it into somthing personal. You said it perfectly. We need to be respectful.

That is a good post 4theloveofhenry and I agree.

But once in a while someone throws too much salt in the stew and then the stew takes on a different taste. And then some voice their opinions that the salt is too heavy to make it palatable and that is ok too and their opinion to say nope too much salt here ;)

We need to keep it respectful with opinions of generalizations.

Bon apetite , grab a spoon and pull up a chair :)

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