hanging in there are you ok??

[kerewin21 2]

Kat you are in my thoughts. Do you have family or friends you can turn to at this time? Someone who can help you out with the 3-year old? Someone who can help a little with some of the bills? I am just so worried for you and your baby with all this stress. Your health is really important.

Ignore desert fox, s/he just likes to stir the pot. This thread is about Wahrania and supporting her.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

[MrsAmera 41]

Wahrania,

It is super stressful getting pregnant or being pregnant after your SO comes, we were pregnant 2 1/2 months after my husband came and he only got his work permit 3 weeks before our son was born. I also had a 1 1/2 year old when he came. It was suuuuper stressful and he was sooo depressed and I was so emotional. He was 21 when he came and I was 20 so age is really not an excuse. There are times when I have had to remind him regardless of his age he is no longer a child and he has a family and children. The sending money home issue has come to rear its ugly head a few times. However we have compromised and budgeted in $300 a month that gets sent to his family. This might sound like too much (trust me I second guess it too) BUT we had to compromise or it would be a constant battle. Not to mention that his brothers and sisters abroad (3 of them) all do the same thing to help the 6 in Morocco. Don't resign yourself to divorce yet, people handle adjustment different ways and I think it's way too early to know what will come. My husband has been here almost 3 years now and we still have our funks and issues. Wait to see what will happen when the baby comes. If you want to chat anytime feel free to PM me.

[nunyab 0]

Get this.... I married my first husband at 19 because he was in the service and it had better benefits if we were married...... I was young and stupid I know did it better our lives yep... more money more support and Pssssst NO GREENCARD was involved. So it happens all the time for whatever reason I am SICK and tired of hearing this...

Sorry guys tired... just tired

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Get this.... I married my first husband at 19 because he was in the service and it had better benefits if we were married...... I was young and stupid I know did it better our lives yep... more money more support and Pssssst NO GREENCARD was involved. So it happens all the time for whatever reason I am SICK and tired of hearing this...

Sorry guys tired... just tired

I u, Rajaa.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Wahrania,

It is super stressful getting pregnant or being pregnant after your SO comes, we were pregnant 2 1/2 months after my husband came and he only got his work permit 3 weeks before our son was born. I also had a 1 1/2 year old when he came. It was suuuuper stressful and he was sooo depressed and I was so emotional. He was 21 when he came and I was 20 so age is really not an excuse. There are times when I have had to remind him regardless of his age he is no longer a child and he has a family and children. The sending money home issue has come to rear its ugly head a few times. However we have compromised and budgeted in $300 a month that gets sent to his family. This might sound like too much (trust me I second guess it too) BUT we had to compromise or it would be a constant battle. Not to mention that his brothers and sisters abroad (3 of them) all do the same thing to help the 6 in Morocco. Don't resign yourself to divorce yet, people handle adjustment different ways and I think it's way too early to know what will come. My husband has been here almost 3 years now and we still have our funks and issues. Wait to see what will happen when the baby comes. If you want to chat anytime feel free to PM me.

I agree. My Husband and I are not only family planning, we're financially planning, and we both agree to plan to take care of both sets of our parents.

[maggieNomar 0]

Whatever you do Kat, take care of your kids and yourself. He is a big boy.

[nunyab 0]

Get this.... I married my first husband at 19 because he was in the service and it had better benefits if we were married...... I was young and stupid I know did it better our lives yep... more money more support and Pssssst NO GREENCARD was involved. So it happens all the time for whatever reason I am SICK and tired of hearing this...

Sorry guys tired... just tired

I u, Rajaa.

(((((( Olivia))))))

Whatever you do Kat, take care of your kids and yourself. He is a big boy.

kids always come first

[maggieNomar 0]

Get this.... I married my first husband at 19 because he was in the service and it had better benefits if we were married...... I was young and stupid I know did it better our lives yep... more money more support and Pssssst NO GREENCARD was involved. So it happens all the time for whatever reason I am SICK and tired of hearing this...

Sorry guys tired... just tired

I u, Rajaa.

(((((( Olivia))))))

Whatever you do Kat, take care of your kids and yourself. He is a big boy.

kids always come first

((((Olivia, Rajaa, heck EVERYbody))))

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I'm getting overly sentimental now.

[amal 4]

I agree with ...i think it was MrsAmerah. Granted some of the things he has done are uncalled for and just plain "not ok" but that doesn't mean it has to be over. Get thru ur pregnancy and have a healthy baby first. Then it will be time to calmly sit down and discuss both yours and his expectations on the relationship. Wether u knew each other well before he got here or not, he is here now so it is time to start getting to know how each other "ticks". It is very hard to adjust to each other. Some ppl have no trouble at all but honestly, the majority of these relationships have many difficulties that are not spoken of on VJ. You should have my yahoo id so please feel free to email or message me anytime.

Love ya girl

amal

[S and S 12]

I agree with ...i think it was MrsAmerah. Granted some of the things he has done are uncalled for and just plain "not ok" but that doesn't mean it has to be over. Get thru ur pregnancy and have a healthy baby first. Then it will be time to calmly sit down and discuss both yours and his expectations on the relationship. Wether u knew each other well before he got here or not, he is here now so it is time to start getting to know how each other "ticks". It is very hard to adjust to each other. Some ppl have no trouble at all but honestly, the majority of these relationships have many difficulties that are not spoken of on VJ. You should have my yahoo id so please feel free to email or message me anytime.

Love ya girl

amal

Thats a good point. I know of lots of relationships where you thought it wasn't worth it and couldn't work. Then the husband and wife slowly worked things out and became happy together. Some people just take a little more time to mature. Maybe once he sees his child and realizes his responsibility then he will start shaping up. No one changes over night, but it doesn't mean it couldn't happen.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I agree with ...i think it was MrsAmerah. Granted some of the things he has done are uncalled for and just plain "not ok" but that doesn't mean it has to be over. Get thru ur pregnancy and have a healthy baby first. Then it will be time to calmly sit down and discuss both yours and his expectations on the relationship. Wether u knew each other well before he got here or not, he is here now so it is time to start getting to know how each other "ticks". It is very hard to adjust to each other. Some ppl have no trouble at all but honestly, the majority of these relationships have many difficulties that are not spoken of on VJ. You should have my yahoo id so please feel free to email or message me anytime.

Love ya girl

amal

I have decided that my husband is the short guy in night at the roxbury

WHAT IS LOVE BABY DONT HURT ME DONT HURT ME NO MORE...with more body hair and a nicer face

[Nasturtium 500]

He already has his conditional greencard and his id and social etc. Its awful hard to prove exactly that he is using me for papers, especially when he has packed his bags several times and wanted to go home. ( I know the whole September 11th thing is messed up ... but so is all the ####### he is doing> I was thinking about hiring the marines to do a gun salute in front of my birthing door... like hey girl we got your back. I just feel so sad but the positive thing is that my kids ( my son and little girl) seem to be doing really ok and are very happy about school starting. If he wants to perv on the computer or even leave me, its better I deal with that reality now than later. I have a new baby coming who means the world to me and a 3 year old little girl in therapy 3 times a week and ESE classes starting in the fall. I cant pay alll my attention to pervert over there and all the internet romances etc. I am horrified at what he s doing. There are so many things wrong on so many levels but I have got to deal with things one thing at a time. I cant get mad about him sending money home. For christs sake, he hasnt even gotten a job yet for me to be mad about. He has NO CONCEPT about how much things cost nor does he see anything really wrong with telling a married woman in Canada that shes so beautiful and hes a rose for you my cherie.. God I wanna hurl

But... it's a conditional card and you two need to stay married or he has to prove that the divorce was unintended or that you were abusing him, etc.... He still isn't really "in" yet. Document as many things as you can. keep proof of this and that becuase you may really need it. If he's usuing you, he shouldn't get to stay!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

He already has his conditional greencard and his id and social etc. Its awful hard to prove exactly that he is using me for papers, especially when he has packed his bags several times and wanted to go home. ( I know the whole September 11th thing is messed up ... but so is all the ####### he is doing> I was thinking about hiring the marines to do a gun salute in front of my birthing door... like hey girl we got your back. I just feel so sad but the positive thing is that my kids ( my son and little girl) seem to be doing really ok and are very happy about school starting. If he wants to perv on the computer or even leave me, its better I deal with that reality now than later. I have a new baby coming who means the world to me and a 3 year old little girl in therapy 3 times a week and ESE classes starting in the fall. I cant pay alll my attention to pervert over there and all the internet romances etc. I am horrified at what he s doing. There are so many things wrong on so many levels but I have got to deal with things one thing at a time. I cant get mad about him sending money home. For christs sake, he hasnt even gotten a job yet for me to be mad about. He has NO CONCEPT about how much things cost nor does he see anything really wrong with telling a married woman in Canada that shes so beautiful and hes a rose for you my cherie.. God I wanna hurl

But... it's a conditional card and you two need to stay married or he has to prove that the divorce was unintended or that you were abusing him, etc.... He still isn't really "in" yet. Document as many things as you can. keep proof of this and that becuase you may really need it. If he's usuing you, he shouldn't get to stay!

I have to go home now from the office so I will see you guys tomorrow. I am all mixed up about all of this. Its easy to give advice when its not you. When its you , it another story isnt it. I love him. But I cant say that I am not really unhappy right now