Foreign women vs. American women

[filirican 3]

[DeadPoolX 9]

the problem with american woman is the way american men treat them. i see it hear all the time.

american womans family is poor, american man tells american woman....tell them get off their lazy ### and get a job. foreign womans family is poor and american man sends money.

american woman wants to stay home and take care of the house and family and american man tells her to get a job and help out. he is not going to support a lazy ### woman. foreign woman wants to stay home and do the wifely thing and man says ok.

thats the problem....different set of standards.

That's actually a pretty a good observation. To be fair, however, it's not all the man's fault in that scenario. Women fought long and hard for the "right to work" just like any man, so nowadays, men expect their wives to have careers.

Yes, some women did fight long and hard for the right to work. That doesn't mean every American with a ####### is duty bound to want to work.

No, it doesn't and I don't believe I ever said that. However, the idea that women want to work (whether or not that's necessarily true) has been ingrained into the American mindset. I think being a homemaker and/or a stay-at-home mom is a very important job and one that is usually given very little consideration and respect from both men and women. It's not unusual to hear working women criticize other women who've decided to stay home (for whatever reason they chose), going so far as to sometimes claim that women who do this "set back womens' rights" as well.

In all honesty, I think women -- not men -- are far more critical of women who stay home. Whether this is out of jealousy or due to feminist reasoning, I'm unsure. Whatever the case, I rarely hear negative commentary from a man whose wife has decided to stay home in order to keep the house in order and raise the children, whereas many women won't think twice about badmouthing her.

[morocco4ever 63]

the problem with american woman is the way american men treat them. i see it hear all the time.

american womans family is poor, american man tells american woman....tell them get off their lazy ### and get a job. foreign womans family is poor and american man sends money.

american woman wants to stay home and take care of the house and family and american man tells her to get a job and help out. he is not going to support a lazy ### woman. foreign woman wants to stay home and do the wifely thing and man says ok.

thats the problem....different set of standards.

That's actually a pretty a good observation. To be fair, however, it's not all the man's fault in that scenario. Women fought long and hard for the "right to work" just like any man, so nowadays, men expect their wives to have careers.

Yes, some women did fight long and hard for the right to work. That doesn't mean every American with a ####### is duty bound to want to work.

No, it doesn't and I don't believe I ever said that. However, the idea that women want to work (whether or not that's necessarily true) has been ingrained into the American mindset. I think being a homemaker and/or a stay-at-home mom is a very important job and one that is usually given very little consideration and respect from both men and women. It's not unusual to hear working women criticize other women who've decided to stay home (for whatever reason they chose), going so far as to sometimes claim that women who do this "set back womens' rights" as well.

In all honesty, I think women -- not men -- are far more critical of women who stay home. Whether this is out of jealousy or due to feminist reasoning, I'm unsure. Whatever the case, I rarely hear negative commentary from a man whose wife has decided to stay home in order to keep the house in order and raise the children, whereas many women won't think twice about badmouthing her.

Who is critical of women who stay home? I am a woman that has one time been a stay at home, I am now working. I have always valued a stay at home mom. I have 4 kids and I can tell you how much easier it was to raise them than when I had to work. Luckily my kids turned out fine, but without supervision on a contant basis it is really hard to raise some good kids. Who wouldn't value a woman who can stay at home and raise a successful family?

BTW, for all of the men that are trashing the american woman, and think the foreign woman is better, have you spent much time in the divorce forum? Obviously there are a lot of women that are not satisfied with their American husbands....hmmmmmm

[MrsCat 6]

BTW, for all of the men that are trashing the american woman, and think the foreign woman is better, have you spent much time in the divorce forum? Obviously there are a lot of women that are not satisfied with their American husbands....hmmmmmm

Yup.

[Jenn! 918]

This idea that American women have evolved as though in some vacuum to be the monsters that we are today is very curious to me. As though American men have played no part in the evolution and have not changed themselves! I'm in the mood to read a bit of Mary Shelley....

~ proud feminazi

P.S. is there any difference between a feminazi and a feminist? methinks not...

Edited July 27, 2008 by Jenn!

[Fandango 1,439]

the problem with american woman is the way american men treat them. i see it hear all the time.

american womans family is poor, american man tells american woman....tell them get off their lazy ### and get a job. foreign womans family is poor and american man sends money.

american woman wants to stay home and take care of the house and family and american man tells her to get a job and help out. he is not going to support a lazy ### woman. foreign woman wants to stay home and do the wifely thing and man says ok.

thats the problem....different set of standards.

That's actually a pretty a good observation. To be fair, however, it's not all the man's fault in that scenario. Women fought long and hard for the "right to work" just like any man, so nowadays, men expect their wives to have careers.

Yes, some women did fight long and hard for the right to work. That doesn't mean every American with a ####### is duty bound to want to work.

No, it doesn't and I don't believe I ever said that. However, the idea that women want to work (whether or not that's necessarily true) has been ingrained into the American mindset. I think being a homemaker and/or a stay-at-home mom is a very important job and one that is usually given very little consideration and respect from both men and women. It's not unusual to hear working women criticize other women who've decided to stay home (for whatever reason they chose), going so far as to sometimes claim that women who do this "set back womens' rights" as well.

In all honesty, I think women -- not men -- are far more critical of women who stay home. Whether this is out of jealousy or due to feminist reasoning, I'm unsure. Whatever the case, I rarely hear negative commentary from a man whose wife has decided to stay home in order to keep the house in order and raise the children, whereas many women won't think twice about badmouthing her.

No you didn't say that, I was just pointing out the flaw where you piggybacked off of what Donna said and then said that because of the women's rights movement, that men expect women to work. It shouldn't be expected, as every individual's choice is her own. While I believe that if you're single and an adult (barring some sort of exception like schooling, traveling, being ind. wealthy), you should be working...regardless of gender. But after a marriage, children...it is up to the individual couple to decide how they want their household run...and I know lots of American women who have chosen to be SAHMs.

[Fandango 1,439]

This idea that American women have evolved as though in some vacuum to be the monsters that we are today is very curious to me. As though American men have played no part in the evolution and have not changed themselves! I'm in the mood to read a bit of Mary Shelley....

~ proud feminazi

P.S. is there any difference between a feminazi and a feminist? methinks not...

Just a way to disparage women imo.

I always find it so sad when this topic comes up because if you look at it objectively, every single one of these comments trashing the American woman has been born out of some personal pain.

[Donna A 4]

anyway....there are still far more american men who dont go overseas for love. theres nothing wrong with american woman at all since american men are still marrying them more then overseas ones. after all....my foreign born man dont have a problem with his american wife.

until i see every man in america going overseas to find a wife then there is nothing wrong with american woman!!!!

[Brad and Vika 129]

In Western nations, we tend to identify ourselves by our jobs more often than we realize. What's one of the first things people ask when meeting? "What do you do?" When someone is getting to know you, whether that person will end up being a friend, future family or your spouse, they're going to ask about your job very early on if you live in a Western country.

Countries that aren't as industrialized tend to place a lesser overall value on career and stronger emphasis on family. These nations rarely ask this question as often as we're used to hearing it. If and when someone does, it's unusual for it to be one of the first questions asked.

This has certainly been my experience. My fiance' and her family mostly asked questions about my family and friends. There seems to be a strong tendency to develop an opinion of a person by how they interact socially rather than what they do for a living.

[Fandango 1,439]

Has anyone ever thought that the question is asked only because since mostly everyone works, it's a good way to start a conversation?

When I was in college, amongst my college peers, the first question asked was 'what is your major?' Obviously if you're devoting your life to pursuing a certain field, whatever that field is sheds a bit of light on your interests/personality.

I don't get it...are these foreign women just not working? If they are adult, single, not going to school, not taking time off to travel, or some other exception...don't people work? And if they don't, why not and what are they doing with themselves all day long?

And if they don't work even though they are adult and single, why is it seen as somehow better? I really don't get it.

Edited July 27, 2008 by Happy Bunny

[Brad and Vika 129]

Has anyone ever thought that the question is asked only because since mostly everyone works, it's a good way to start a conversation?

When I was in college, amongst my college peers, the first question asked was 'what is your major?' Obviously if you're devoting your life to pursuing a certain field, whatever that field is sheds a bit of light on your interests/personality.

I don't get it...are these foreign women just not working? If they are adult, single, not going to school, not taking time off to travel, or some other exception...don't people work? And if they don't, why not and what are they doing with themselves all day long?

And if they don't work even though they are adult and single, why is it seen as somehow better? I really don't get it.

I have been told by my Eastern European friends that the question is just considered rude. Like asking what your bank balance is. We also tend to attach character traits to our occupational choices (accountants are boring, lawyers are crooked, nurses are compassionate). They do not, and prefer to judge based on your reputation and what they see. So it is cultural, in my opinion.

Edited July 27, 2008 by Brad and Vika

[Fandango 1,439]

Has anyone ever thought that the question is asked only because since mostly everyone works, it's a good way to start a conversation?

When I was in college, amongst my college peers, the first question asked was 'what is your major?' Obviously if you're devoting your life to pursuing a certain field, whatever that field is sheds a bit of light on your interests/personality.

I don't get it...are these foreign women just not working? If they are adult, single, not going to school, not taking time off to travel, or some other exception...don't people work? And if they don't, why not and what are they doing with themselves all day long?

And if they don't work even though they are adult and single, why is it seen as somehow better? I really don't get it.

I have been told by my Eastern European friends that the question is just considered rude. Like asking what your bank balance is. We also tend to attach character traits to our occupational choices (accountants are boring, lawyers are crooked, nurses are compassionate). They do not, and prefer to judge based on your reputation and what they see. So it is cultural, in my opinion.

Of course it's cultural, that's my point too...while it's considered 'rude' in other countries...it's not considered rude here. We can speculate as to what the question connotates...but imo, when I ask 'so what do you do for a living'...it is NOT to discern how much money a person makes.

There ARE character traits in our occupational choices....and stereotypes become stereotypes for a reason. I would say that accountants do tend to be ####### retentive, lawyers do tend to be verbose and argumentative, nurses do tend to be compassionate. I am a realtor®...people in my line of work tend to be gregarious, outgoing, and friendly...

Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but as a whole, I believe our personalities and interests guide us to choosing a profession in which we are receiving some form of fulfillment. If we all spend 8+ hours a day doing something, doesn't that mean we personally have an interest in it? Doesn't the occupation we choose shed a little light on who we are?

I believe it does...so when I say 'what do you do?' I am not asking how much someone makes...I'm asking to learn more about the person and his/her interests. So while it can be looked at from another culture as rude...perhaps that's making an incorrect assumption based on a cultural misunderstanding.

I lived in another country, and when I tried looking at things thru my American eyes and couldn't understand them, I then allowed myself to see it from that culture's POV, it made perfect sense.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Has anyone ever thought that the question is asked only because since mostly everyone works, it's a good way to start a conversation?

When I was in college, amongst my college peers, the first question asked was 'what is your major?' Obviously if you're devoting your life to pursuing a certain field, whatever that field is sheds a bit of light on your interests/personality.

I don't get it...are these foreign women just not working? If they are adult, single, not going to school, not taking time off to travel, or some other exception...don't people work? And if they don't, why not and what are they doing with themselves all day long?

And if they don't work even though they are adult and single, why is it seen as somehow better? I really don't get it.

They're working to find a suitor.

[Jenn! 918]

They're working to find a suitor.

Mhmmm, looking this good is a full-time job, let me tell you!

[Fandango 1,439]

Has anyone ever thought that the question is asked only because since mostly everyone works, it's a good way to start a conversation?

When I was in college, amongst my college peers, the first question asked was 'what is your major?' Obviously if you're devoting your life to pursuing a certain field, whatever that field is sheds a bit of light on your interests/personality.

I don't get it...are these foreign women just not working? If they are adult, single, not going to school, not taking time off to travel, or some other exception...don't people work? And if they don't, why not and what are they doing with themselves all day long?

And if they don't work even though they are adult and single, why is it seen as somehow better? I really don't get it.

They're working to find a suitor.

What does that entail? And how do they survive with no money?