Foreign women vs. American women

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Radical western feminists need to address the issue of women who are still repressed in the world and stop writing self help books to mop up the tears of women who now have it all and can't deal with it.

I agree with this completely - but I also think that men are equally myopic and guilty of not seeing past their own nose when it comes to their grievances versus all oppressed people in the world.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Radical western feminists need to address the issue of women who are still repressed in the world and stop writing self help books to mop up the tears of women who now have it all and can't deal with it.

Many of them are doing just that--they just don't get as much attention. Unfortunately, fighting for social justice and gender equality abroad isn't sexy enough for U.S. mainstream media.

I dunno---I think it's easy to ridicule and dismiss what many term "radical" (while misinterpreting the word in this context of supposed frivolous causes) feminism and connect it to privileged but angry b!tches who are "overwhelmed," "want it all," etc., and who come unglued when things suddenly aren't as they should be. Or maybe younger angry girls with a victim complex and an aversion to make-up. And these women have to hate men, of course. These people constitute a tiny minority of those sympathetic to true dictionary-definition feminism, and yet they get tons of attention. I think this is because it’s easier to poke fun at angry women who don’t shave their armpits than really examine the issues.

Women have made such great strides over the last couple of generations, so it's easy to think that feminism is somehow passe and only now preached by rabble-rousers who don't know how good they have it. That's a scary and regressive position to take. I think the activist component of any relatively recent movement is important, especially when the new situation is such a significant departure from the old one. Activism is a good thing generally. Trying to change things, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, is an important component of a civilized society. So what if someone wants to protest beauty contests? One could say that campaigning for animal rights is frivolous when you consider how many people are starving in the world. Who's to determine what cause is worthy and what's just silly?

Another thing that kinda pisses me off is the often-stated position--usually by people of both genders who are simply bored with the entire issue--that these "feminazis" give the whole feminism movement a bad name and distort the concept of feminism by taking extreme positions. Distort the image to whom? Feeble-minded mouth-breathers who can’t distinguish one clear-cut position from another?

As with a lot of modern social issues, the fringe positions are given a lot of attention. I suppose this is based on entertainment value and partly because expecting any kind of informed, nuanced thinking is just asking too much of the public. Who gives a sh!t if someone wants to write a book aimed at women who are experiencing existential crises? There's a market for everything, and "I'm a victim" issues across the board.

[Mrs D. 13]

I was married to a strong feminist thinker/activist several years ago.

You have my condolences. That's a fate I wouldn't wish on anyone!

Y'know I majored in Feminist Studies and became very unpopular when I refused to support and join my class in protesting at a beauty contest in London...what I learnt the most from the 3 years of study is that western feminism struggles these days in finding a relevant "cause"....there are, however, women in the world worse off today, if not more, than we were back in the Victorian ages, and I just didn't have the time or care to worry about some pretty young thing who decided to take a year out of Uni to try out for a beauty contest....because that was her choice, and she had that choice because radical feminists fought for her to do that years ago...

Radical western feminists need to address the issue of women who are still repressed in the world and stop writing self help books to mop up the tears of women who now have it all and can't deal with it.

good one

[LaGreenEyes 0]

I've said it before a million times, and I'll say it again....we cannot talk about any country's women like they are a breed of dog....especially America's (since we are a young nation of mostly immigrants and there are so many different cultures within). If one finds love overseas, great...say 'hey I fell in love with my woman because SHE'S this that or the other' People need to STOP from adding '....and American women are....' or saying 'this country's women are...' because the Foreign woman's traits should be good enough to stand on her own without needing to quantify them by comparing her in a better light than 'ALL American women'. And isn't each and every foreign woman her own individual self? Imo, statements like the above belittles the foreign woman as if she's chattel. Like she had no part in becoming who she is...it's her culture that is the selling point...and any woman from that country will do. It's quite sad.

FWIW, I'd just like to point out that it's not only American men who talk like this on VJ, but some American women as well. It's just as horrible.

I totally agree...and I was remiss in not pointing that out.

Another good point. When my Viktoria arrives here in the US, I hope she finds all American women to be this circumspect, but I doubt it. Most likely the attitude will be "only one reason that young woman would be with that guy". I already hear some of that - and it is the other side of the coin we are duscussing, no? I have tried to prepare her for this, but she may have to see it to believe it.

Well Ya'll look like a very nice couple together there should be no question why you are together...but I understand..it seems there is a stigma that when an American woman like myself marries a man from Latin America..that he only wants a green card blah blah blah..

I'm always like Puh-leeze! Not to brag but my husband's family in Panama has always been well off and he's had a great life, he certainly didnt marry me for financial gain! If it hadn't been for a chance meeting at a New Year's party with me..he wouldn't be in the USA right now. Ignorant people will always think ignorant thoughts I've discovered.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Radical western feminists need to address the issue of women who are still repressed in the world and stop writing self help books to mop up the tears of women who now have it all and can't deal with it.

Many of them are doing just that--they just don't get as much attention. Unfortunately, fighting for social justice and gender equality abroad isn't sexy enough for U.S. mainstream media.

I dunno---I think it's easy to ridicule and dismiss what many term "radical" (while misinterpreting the word in this context of supposed frivolous causes) feminism and connect it to privileged but angry b!tches who are "overwhelmed," "want it all," etc., and who come unglued when things suddenly aren't as they should be. Or maybe younger angry girls with a victim complex and an aversion to make-up. And these women have to hate men, of course. These people constitute a tiny minority of those sympathetic to true dictionary-definition feminism, and yet they get tons of attention. I think this is because it's easier to poke fun at angry women who don't shave their armpits than really examine the issues.

Women have made such great strides over the last couple of generations, so it's easy to think that feminism is somehow passe and only now preached by rabble-rousers who don't know how good they have it. That's a scary and regressive position to take. I think the activist component of any relatively recent movement is important, especially when the new situation is such a significant departure from the old one. Activism is a good thing generally. Trying to change things, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, is an important component of a civilized society. So what if someone wants to protest beauty contests? One could say that campaigning for animal rights is frivolous when you consider how many people are starving in the world. Who's to determine what cause is worthy and what's just silly?

Another thing that kinda pisses me off is the often-stated position--usually by people of both genders who are simply bored with the entire issue--that these "feminazis" give the whole feminism movement a bad name and distort the concept of feminism by taking extreme positions. Distort the image to whom? Feeble-minded mouth-breathers who can't distinguish one clear-cut position from another?

As with a lot of modern social issues, the fringe positions are given a lot of attention. I suppose this is based on entertainment value and partly because expecting any kind of informed, nuanced thinking is just asking too much of the public. Who gives a sh!t if someone wants to write a book aimed at women who are experiencing existential crises? There's a market for everything, and "I'm a victim" issues across the board.

Great post. Well said. Alan Alda would be proud.

[Fandango 1,439]

Radical western feminists need to address the issue of women who are still repressed in the world and stop writing self help books to mop up the tears of women who now have it all and can't deal with it.

Many of them are doing just that--they just don't get as much attention. Unfortunately, fighting for social justice and gender equality abroad isn't sexy enough for U.S. mainstream media.

I dunno---I think it's easy to ridicule and dismiss what many term "radical" (while misinterpreting the word in this context of supposed frivolous causes) feminism and connect it to privileged but angry b!tches who are "overwhelmed," "want it all," etc., and who come unglued when things suddenly aren't as they should be. Or maybe younger angry girls with a victim complex and an aversion to make-up. And these women have to hate men, of course. These people constitute a tiny minority of those sympathetic to true dictionary-definition feminism, and yet they get tons of attention. I think this is because it’s easier to poke fun at angry women who don’t shave their armpits than really examine the issues.

Women have made such great strides over the last couple of generations, so it's easy to think that feminism is somehow passe and only now preached by rabble-rousers who don't know how good they have it. That's a scary and regressive position to take. I think the activist component of any relatively recent movement is important, especially when the new situation is such a significant departure from the old one. Activism is a good thing generally. Trying to change things, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, is an important component of a civilized society. So what if someone wants to protest beauty contests? One could say that campaigning for animal rights is frivolous when you consider how many people are starving in the world. Who's to determine what cause is worthy and what's just silly?

Another thing that kinda pisses me off is the often-stated position--usually by people of both genders who are simply bored with the entire issue--that these "feminazis" give the whole feminism movement a bad name and distort the concept of feminism by taking extreme positions. Distort the image to whom? Feeble-minded mouth-breathers who can’t distinguish one clear-cut position from another?

As with a lot of modern social issues, the fringe positions are given a lot of attention. I suppose this is based on entertainment value and partly because expecting any kind of informed, nuanced thinking is just asking too much of the public. Who gives a sh!t if someone wants to write a book aimed at women who are experiencing existential crises? There's a market for everything, and "I'm a victim" issues across the board.

I *seriously heart* Big A.....

I *seriously heart* Welshie as well, mind you, but this post by Big A deserves a round of applause....

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Great post. Well said. Alan Alda would be proud.

Joyce subscribes to the notion of "polyester feminism," but sometimes she's unclear on the definition. Somehow the subject only comes up after she'd had a few G&Ts. But I do know that platform shoes are involved--some kind of metaphor for "standing tall," I think.

[Mrs D. 13]

I have tried to prepare her for this, but she may have to see it to believe it.

Have Vik contact me - I could tell her all about it... It's even worse when there's a double "tag" - we're in the same industry, so I have to deal with "she married him of a GC" and "she married him to make a career" horse s**t.

And while it's p***ing me off, I can certainly see where this stereotype is coming from. Unfortunately, it's our own compatriots who get this tag put on all of us.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I have tried to prepare her for this, but she may have to see it to believe it.

Have Vik contact me - I could tell her all about it... It's even worse when there's a double "tag" - we're in the same industry, so I have to deal with "she married him of a GC" and "she married him to make a career" horse s**t.

And while it's p***ing me off, I can certainly see where this stereotype is coming from. Unfortunately, it's our own compatriots who get this tag put on all of us.

PM me with your contact info. and I will pass it along. Vika tells me that she does read the VJ posts occasionally, and another poster from Ukraine gave her a fiance' web site that she says is good. Looking at your story and timeline, I see that you move around a bit. She would no doubt appreciate the contact.

[Mrs D. 13]

PM me with your contact info. and I will pass it along. Vika tells me that she does read the VJ posts occasionally, and another poster from Ukraine gave her a fiance' web site that she says is good. Looking at your story and timeline, I see that you move around a bit. She would no doubt appreciate the contact.

Done Let me know if didn't come through for whatever reason.

[baxxy 0]

yeah, there's a reason for that.

You're not trying to get opinions... you're trying to start a stupid thread because you think hot-headed American women will come protest in defense... carried over from the 'where did she go thread'

Some of us 'fat, lazy, self-absorbed' American women are a little smarter than that.

It's really not our fault you 'gentlemen' can't get any in America... leave us alone, mmmmk?

You tell him sister!!! he wants a submissive slave, wait till she becomes americanized....

[lgg 2]

Nessa u are like charles mention your name and u come running ha

does charles send you to the kitchen and help sometimes

Um. This is a very helpful site but this post is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever read in my life.

Seriously.

I"m wondering why it's still hanging about.

Disgusting.

[Steve Y Jessica 1]

Nessa u are like charles mention your name and u come running ha

does charles send you to the kitchen and help sometimes

Um. This is a very helpful site but this post is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever read in my life.

Seriously.

I"m wondering why it's still hanging about.

Disgusting.

Because that is where the woman belongs, in the kitchen!!! Now go make your man some food!!!

Edited August 3, 2008 by Steve Y Jessica

[Fandango 1,439]

Nessa u are like charles mention your name and u come running ha

does charles send you to the kitchen and help sometimes

Um. This is a very helpful site but this post is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever read in my life.

Seriously.

I"m wondering why it's still hanging about.

Disgusting.

Really? The worst thing you've ever read in.your.life?

[Ken y Leidys 20]

yeah, there's a reason for that.

You're not trying to get opinions... you're trying to start a stupid thread because you think hot-headed American women will come protest in defense... carried over from the 'where did she go thread'

Some of us 'fat, lazy, self-absorbed' American women are a little smarter than that.

It's really not our fault you 'gentlemen' can't get any in America... leave us alone, mmmmk?

You tell him sister!!! he wants a submissive slave, wait till she becomes americanized....

My ex-wife expected me to be her slave. I was the one who called her at work and asked her what she wanted for dinner. Then, I prepared the dinner, hot on the table when she got home. I put away the leftovers - separate containers for lunch the next day, washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen -NIGHTLY.

She came back in Feb. talking about RECONCILIATION because most guys won't do this.

So, I can't get an American woman?

No problems with GAME in my own country. I don't want to lose my Spanish I worked so hard acquiring this past 12 months, plus I have a new GF back in Colombia that makes a damn good friend, is easy on the eyes, and I want to treat real well once we get the Visa process started in early '09.