Fear of it not working out

[MichelleN 0]

I actually understand what you're feeling. I just sent off the I-129 today and even now I still worry. I'm not worrying because I don't know if I really love him, I worry about the future because that's the kind of person I am. I worry about what can go wrong much more than I dream about what will go right. On a daily basis I go through feeling elated at the idea of spending my life with him and then later, scared to death at the thought of it. I think a little apprehension about making such a huge life choice isn't unusual. But you need to be careful about how you handle those fears and what choice you make. For me, I'm trying to push away the worries and focus on the fact that soon he'll be out here and we'll be a family together

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

You are not alone. Almost everybody felt that way before getting married. Imagine you are going to tie knots with somebody you do not know that much and you never know what will happen next. There are many aspects to have a healthy relationship. Both of you have different personalities, culture and beliefs. But isn't love the reason why you are about to get married? In love, you will have to look of making each other happy. Relationship may not be perfect but I am sure you could be mature enough to handle everything. God should always be the center of the relationship and everything would be just fine.

Good luck.. Congrats in advance.

[tallcoolone 102]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

[ManilaIdaho 2]

Forget the stats and the odds.. There is no 100% guarantee for a happy marriage based on stats.

Another reason I'd like to see some stats is because there are SO many filipina women that have been married before and have difficulty getting out of the previous marriage(s), (as witnessed on here) based on that fact alone the success rate doesnt seem to be too high, im a little concerned that a lot of these women (mine included) just want a green card. From what I can see, she loves me very much, but i cant help but have a little doubt. I'm very sceptical when it comes to this, I have one failed marriage already (not a foreigner) I certainly dont want another one.

This is my first time to post because it's always my fiancee who's posting here but i just like to share some insights regarding this topic.

When a filipina decided to get married they didnt think that they will be separated from their husband and get an american for a greencard.it just happened that their previous marriage didnt work out and fall in love to a man not from their own country.the reason why there are lots of filipina who had difficulty in getting out of the previous marriage was because of the high price they need to pay let alone the long wait before they finally get the decision and finality.and im sure if they have the means to pay for it,they will do it just like what my fiancee did,more than a year before i met her,she already filed and paid in full(from her own pocket) for her declaration of nullity,it was just the waiting that really S***S.but im glad now it's over and just recently we got our K1 approval.i only came over there once but it was the best ever in my life.i have doubts and fears too like you,and it's just normal.i know somebody who've been enggaged for 11yrs,after just a year of being married,they separated.so knowing somebody for a long time is not really a guarantee that you already know the person that well.

Life is a risk and each one of us deserves to be happy,if you have doubts and afraid to give yourself a chance then stay out of it.but if you truly love your fiancee and would like things to work out for the both of you,then take your time,little by little you'll discover the answer to your questions and im sure that'll be the right time to decide if you'll go forward or backward.

good luck and i wish you all the best

[KimandRuss 0]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

[Sherri and Matt 1]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

[KarenCee 3]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Meh, he's just trying to stir the pot y'all...I wouldn't pay him any attention. This sentiment has spun around VJ before. There isn't one nationality or culture any better than another.

[kaush 0]

Its been almost two months since he moved here and we are living together now. Its not all been rosy I must say because only when you live together, you learn of all the habits you find annoying in your SO and vice versa. The first 2-3 days were great but we fought a whole lot the next 2-3weeks and I almost started questioning myself if we had rushed into it. On my part, I didn't realize that he had just given up a successful career in India, left his entire family, the lifestyle and everyone he knew for me. I am sure he was frustrated. We talked things over trying to figure out why we were fighting so much. I have started to become more patient with him adjusting here and he has started to take my annoying habits in his stride and its really great now!

But first when we was moving here, it was the gut feeling. The gut feeling that told me it will work out. Kudos to you for being honest with yourself. There maybe adjustment issues but give yourselves more than a few weeks before deciding if its good or bad after you have actually started living together. Sounds mushy and all but really its love that matters in the end, with a little bit of practicality, common sense, and compromise ofcourse :-) my two cents.

[bora bora 1]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Meh, he's just trying to stir the pot y'all...I wouldn't pay him any attention. This sentiment has spun around VJ before. There isn't one nationality or culture any better than another.

I was a bit offended too - I'm a female USC and a wonderful wife

[KarenCee 3]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Meh, he's just trying to stir the pot y'all...I wouldn't pay him any attention. This sentiment has spun around VJ before. There isn't one nationality or culture any better than another.

I was a bit offended too - I'm a female USC and a wonderful wife

Yes, it *is* an offensive statement...and I can just bet he was looking for a reaction like this. My initial reaction was the same. It's just this particular sentiment has been thrown around VJ for a long time now. I'm the USC and according to my husband, he is extremely happy with his American wife. There's certainly more I could say to his comment, but it's better to keep it to myself.

Those of us who are the USC half know exactly what we are...wonderful wives...otherwise we wouldn't be wives! Kinda blows his theory out of the proverbial water, yes?

[Sherri and Matt 1]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Meh, he's just trying to stir the pot y'all...I wouldn't pay him any attention. This sentiment has spun around VJ before. There isn't one nationality or culture any better than another.

OH I am not offended at all by the implication that a certain nationality or culture is better, because that is all very dependant on what you are looking for. I feel bad for these women, and my offense is on their behalf. I will be marrying a man that expects to have a wife that is his partner and his equal, not a servant with no mind of her own. In some cultures. it is very easy to control a woman and smack her around if she gets out of line, and get away with it, unlike here where many American women actually fight back. I guess men who want that sort of thing know where to go to get it don't they?

[bora bora 1]

Well, .... I think you have to have a lot of faith and be as sure as you can that you want to spend the rest of your life with your fiancee. We know that the K1 visa is not a tourist/"let's try this out" visa, yet USCIS gives us 90 days in case.

I suggest spending as much time as you can with your fiancee, do a lot of talking to her, praying (if you believe), and some soul searching if you're unsure about your future together. I think it's normal to be nervous, even if you lived with your fiance in his/her country before applying for the K1.

I lived with my husband in Brazil for months before he came here, and I still worried that he wouldn't like living in the U.S., would miss Brazil, would have too much trouble with the language/culture/etc. I asked him to try it out here for a year since I lived in Brazil for a year, and if he didn't like it then we'd go back to Brazil to live. I never doubted his love for me, nor mine for him, it was always just a matter of where we would live.

We're happily married now and enjoy our life together in the U.S. However, we plan on eventually moving back to Brazil - together.

[KimandRuss 0]

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Meh, he's just trying to stir the pot y'all...I wouldn't pay him any attention. This sentiment has spun around VJ before. There isn't one nationality or culture any better than another.

Yeah, it just never ceases to amaze me that people can be so ignorant as to generalize like that... it really makes you wonder what the basis is for the marriage is for some.

I'm not marrying a foreigner becuase he is 'better marriage material' than any American man i've met. I'm marrying him because he is who I fell in love with. By the standards set above....

1.) Not because ....he wont divorce me even if i'm an @sshole because it's not considered 'ok' in his Country.

2.) Not because ....he will agree to everything I do and like in life without comment. That would bother me greatly actually!

3.) Not because ....someone once said... hey NZ guys make really great husbands!

I wouldn't dare generalize an entire culture / sex of my own Countrymen, or any others, because of my experiences with my ex husband or any other man i've known. It's ludicrous really.

There are certain sterotypes that i'm sure many pinoy/us couples are trying to detract from and I don't think this post helps the cause.

[KimandRuss 0]

I think this discussion is ON TOPIC.... he is telling the OP that he'll be ok because he's marrying a woman from a particular Country. That is simply untrue.