Husband's divorce papers

[palilover 1]

My husband called the court where they had his divorce paper. They told him today that unlike they told him before, since no one (not my husband or court) has a photocopy of the divorce paper that the court must make him a new divorce certificate. What this means is that it will have today's date as the original divorce date, not the date that he actually divorced his wife in 2003. My husband told me to call the consulate and ask them if they'd accept that as we were trying to avoid that and get the original date on it, not make it look like he got divorced today. The consulate is closed:( (they close early too..they work for the US government:/

Anyone know if the consulate would accept this?? What if they don't? This is all my husband can get in Palestine is this:( He does not have his photocopy of the divorce for them to go on and apparently they don't keep records. If they make a new one, it'll have today's date on it, not the actual divorce date:(

((((((

[chaishai 1]

  palilover said:

My husband called the court where they had his divorce paper. They told him today that unlike they told him before, since no one (not my husband or court) has a photocopy of the divorce paper that the court must make him a new divorce certificate. What this means is that it will have today's date as the original divorce date, not the date that he actually divorced his wife in 2003. My husband told me to call the consulate and ask them if they'd accept that as we were trying to avoid that and get the original date on it, not make it look like he got divorced today. The consulate is closed:( (they close early too..they work for the US government:/

Anyone know if the consulate would accept this?? What if they don't? This is all my husband can get in Palestine is this:( He does not have his photocopy of the divorce for them to go on and apparently they don't keep records. If they make a new one, it'll have today's date on it, not the actual divorce date:(

((((((

I know you didnt ask for questions but I just have to ask, if you didnt see the divorce paper yourself, and you just found out about the second round of wife and kids he divorced, with the language barrier and all, how can you be sure that he was really divorced? Im sorry I know you dont want to be challenged but all of the things you mention are just making me nervous for you.

[palilover 1]

  chaishai said:

  palilover said:

My husband called the court where they had his divorce paper. They told him today that unlike they told him before, since no one (not my husband or court) has a photocopy of the divorce paper that the court must make him a new divorce certificate. What this means is that it will have today's date as the original divorce date, not the date that he actually divorced his wife in 2003. My husband told me to call the consulate and ask them if they'd accept that as we were trying to avoid that and get the original date on it, not make it look like he got divorced today. The consulate is closed:( (they close early too..they work for the US government:/

Anyone know if the consulate would accept this?? What if they don't? This is all my husband can get in Palestine is this:( He does not have his photocopy of the divorce for them to go on and apparently they don't keep records. If they make a new one, it'll have today's date on it, not the actual divorce date:(

((((((

I know you didnt ask for questions but I just have to ask, if you didnt see the divorce paper yourself, and you just found out about the second round of wife and kids he divorced, with the language barrier and all, how can you be sure that he was really divorced? Im sorry I know you dont want to be challenged but all of the things you mention are just making me nervous for you.

He had the one divorce translated. The second divorce I did not know about, you're right. I did not see and have not seen yet.

BUT when I went through Israeli security this time around from Jordan, my husband and I went through Allenby Bridge. They asked me my purpose for visiting and I said see my husband. Since my husband was there (in another line), they asked me to see his id. I went and go thim and got his id. She ran it rhgough the computer (and it says on the id as well) and said "I see he is not married. he is divorced"

Had I known what I know now, I woulda asked how many times:) But if he was still married to someone other than me, the Israelis would have picked up on that I think. And they would not have made an issue (albeit small) of his divorce being in the computer when I am married to him.

Thanks to the Israelis for helping me with that or else I'd be thinking the same thing as you.

Although.....I call him and especially when he first went back anytime. And he always answered. Did not matter what time of day/night. No screaming kids (and if you had that many kids, you'd hear them) and of course when you have another woman calling you at 2-3AM, do you think if he had a wife that lived with him would like that? Everytime I call him, he is at home where the only noise you hear is the fan or tv (same as when I was there), he may be with his brothers in the store (the ones who do work anyways), or at his family's house. (and yes you do hear kids there but usually if I call there, the motehr asks to say hello to me so I know he's at his family's house for real).

So with the Israelis attitude and what I've observed of him in the past year and a half, no evidence points to another wife.

Plus if he had another wife, dont you think the consolate would have made an issue out of that?

[Donna A 4]

when they make up the new papers is there a way they can put in them this divorse was back in 2003. it still might have todays date but the official date was earlier. also, maybe the lawyer who did the divorse might have a copy of his papers.

just some ideas.

[palilover 1]

  Donna A said:

when they make up the new papers is there a way they can put in them this divorse was back in 2003. it still might have todays date but the official date was earlier. also, maybe the lawyer who did the divorse might have a copy of his papers.

just some ideas.

Thats what I am thinking, but I tried to ask him and he says no it has today's date. He has not gotten the papers yet as he just found out from Nablus that theyw ont do it from the original date. So he got his money back from that and then it is going to cost 800 sheckels to get his marriage/divorce papers that the consulate needs but it will have today's date on it supposedly. He wants me to call the consulate to confirm if it is ok and they will accept before he pays the money.

I dont think they have divorce lawyers in palestine. Just divorce sheikhs who work with the court. And he has alrady talked to the high sheikh at the court while I was there.

I would love to call the court myself, but he said no one there speaks english cuz its in his village !!(((

[*Maureen* 0]

wouldnt the ex-wife have a copy of the divorce too?

[palilover 1]

  77Maureen said:

wouldnt the ex-wife have a copy of the divorce too?

he said he tried to get that as he knows she does. But she erfused to get it for him.

[Staashi 371]

Pali - I, like Chaishai, am not trying to judge your situation, but there were many times I had Arabic friends who were LPRs dating women here, with wives and children at home. The girls would get really involved with the guys and then when you thought they would get married, inevitably it came up that he had a "specific situation" at home. I say this with personal experience, as it happened twice to my best friend - she was unbelievably devastated. Something with his situation doesn't smell Kosher to me...and I'm sorry, but I have major doubts of the veracity of his claims. To read that he can't produce a divorce certificate with anything other than today's date seems bizarre. Furthermore, has he called his ex-wife to ask her for a copy of the certificate?

One other thing, I’m not sure if the USE will accept it with today’s date, because they and USCIS work on prima facie evidence, which means what is first presented is what is accepted. By him presenting a divorce decree that is dated today, it would represent a false claim to your CIS case as you’re applying based on marriage; stating that your marriage was last year, but by having a divorce decree for today would mean that he had been a bigamist with multiple marriages. Do you get my drift?

One of my ideas is that you have him cancel his petition, have him get the new divorce decree, divorce you and then reapply on either a K1 or K2, where he can declare everything – all kids, all ex-wives – including you and see where it goes from there. My advice is to start everything fresh – on the right and honest foot.

[RAKASA 0]

Granted, I have not had time to read all the pages involved in your original thread abt your situation b/c I've been out of town, but I'm just blown away that you're actually still going through w/ this.

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. If you can't trust someone now, can you trust them later?

Edited July 21, 2008 by ME~n~HIM

[Nasturtium 500]

I cannot imagine that there is not a way to get a divorce date that is more accurate. This kind of thing could screw up and 'iddah or something it seems, so they would do a better job at keeping it more accurate.

[~Jackie~ 30]

I would find someone that DID speak arabic and have them call. Give this person a list of the questions you want asked...and get you some answers!

It is totally going to look like he divorced today if they leave it dated like that.

Not that comments were asked for, but it is the kids I feel bad for. Being introduced to the american as a nephew or niece when they in fact are his flesh and blood? I know you love him,,,I know you want to be his wife forever, but there are red flags waving all over this one. I'll shut up before you all hate me.

Good luck in what's coming. I want to be your vj buddy 4eva but I can't sit on my fingers much longer without typing what I feel. I want to be all sunshine and rainbows for you pali,,but it's gettin hard. (((huggsss))) and hang in there. You are much stronger than me. I think I would have bolted by now.

I found out #### about my man too...but it didn't involve other wives and kids. I forgave him so I cant judge you.

Jackie

[Staashi 371]

  just_Jackie said:

I would find someone that DID speak arabic and have them call. Give this person a list of the questions you want asked...and get you some answers!

It is totally going to look like he divorced today if they leave it dated like that.

Not that comments were asked for, but it is the kids I feel bad for. Being introduced to the american as a nephew or niece when they in fact are his flesh and blood? I know you love him,,,I know you want to be his wife forever, but there are red flags waving all over this one. I'll shut up before you all hate me.

Good luck in what's coming. I want to be your vj buddy 4eva but I can't sit on my fingers much longer without typing what I feel. I want to be all sunshine and rainbows for you pali,,but it's gettin hard. (((huggsss))) and hang in there. You are much stronger than me. I think I would have bolted by now.

I found out #### about my man too...but it didn't involve other wives and kids. I forgave him so I cant judge you.

Jackie

Amen, Sister!

Pali, Pali, Pali - I tell this to all my friends in relationship situations where they can't see the forest through the trees, if it was one of your girlfriends who was going through this – would you tell her – "it’s cool, stay with him…you love him – or, would you be like “Girl, #######!!!!????!!!! Get the hell out of there!”

OK – and y’all can be ticked at me because I’m gonna go there, but someone needs to –

The more I look at your situation, I’m beginning to think that you should flee the F’ing scene. Get out while you can…this is a major, major red flag, and I’m thinking that your husband is a bigamist, and in his religion, that is allowed – is it allowed in this country? – HELL NO! I’m also thinking that the reason why you don’t get any respect from his family is because they don’t see you as his wife – they see you as his girlfriend – a means to get to the USA and they’re all playing along…like, yeah, these are his nieces and nephews – who the hell does that?

The secrets you should find out about your husband are: he doesn’t like the same foods as you do but he made it up that he did, or that he really does like bacon and alcohol even though his religion forbids it – seriously happened to my friend – haha, or he lost his virginity when he was 22 instead of 17 – something that shouldn’t make a difference to you. But this stuff is beyond compare.

[LRA 0]

  Staashi said:

Pali - I, like Chaishai, am not trying to judge your situation, but there were many times I had Arabic friends who were LPRs dating women here, with wives and children at home. The girls would get really involved with the guys and then when you thought they would get married, inevitably it came up that he had a "specific situation" at home. I say this with personal experience, as it happened twice to my best friend - she was unbelievably devastated. Something with his situation doesn't smell Kosher to me...and I'm sorry, but I have major doubts of the veracity of his claims. To read that he can't produce a divorce certificate with anything other than today's date seems bizarre. Furthermore, has he called his ex-wife to ask her for a copy of the certificate?

One other thing, I’m not sure if the USE will accept it with today’s date, because they and USCIS work on prima facie evidence, which means what is first presented is what is accepted. By him presenting a divorce decree that is dated today, it would represent a false claim to your CIS case as you’re applying based on marriage; stating that your marriage was last year, but by having a divorce decree for today would mean that he had been a bigamist with multiple marriages. Do you get my drift?

One of my ideas is that you have him cancel his petition, have him get the new divorce decree, divorce you and then reapply on either a K1 or K2, where he can declare everything – all kids, all ex-wives – including you and see where it goes from there. My advice is to start everything fresh – on the right and honest foot.

I will chime in on the divorce decree. Mine is from Jordan and from the local sharia court. The divorce process is as follows: you go in front of the judge/sheik. He asks each party if they want to get divorced. Then he asks if everyone has received what is "due" to them (money, gold, etc.). Then you repeat after him and then you are home free. My divorce decree is a single piece of plain white paper printed on a laser printer. With the ugly purple stamp used all over Jordan. That is all there is to it. I got a copy and so did my ex. If I didn't know any better I would think it was a receipt for something.

So when I got married this time a few months ago in Jordan, I tell them I am divorced. They ask about my decree...my copy was in the US and I thought surely they have a copy or can get one or have it in their "system". They go crazy about me not having it with me. After pulling some strings and getting into the head judges office..they ask me about the date of divorce. Everything is manual in these courthouses (if you want to even call them that). In Amman I am sure the ministry has it all computerized, but out in the sticks its manual. So at this courthouse they have huge books they keep all the records in. It took them over 1 hour to find my decree in their book. Afterwards, after paing big bucks (they had to get it out of the courthouse and down the street to the copy center. I didn't ask and they didn't tell) for them to make a copy of it to put with the new marriage certificate paperwork. They would not even give me a new one and if I lose my copy in the US I am SOL. Even though it's a flimsy piece of paper the ministry responsible for all the sharia courts would have it recorded somehow somewhere so maybe not entirely SOL....but it wolud cost a pretty penny to get another.

I think it's time for your husbands dad to go down to the office and use some of his "influence". The elders can usually make something happen. You should see my gramps in action. Sometimes at the banks my mom's had to drop the name of her dad, and he's been dead for 25 years to get things done. Your husband needs to find a "wasta" (someone to act as connection to help; like so and so's cousins brothers sisters husbands uncle who knows the court director/manager). If it is a matter of a legit date, then someone can make it happen. Or have his dad go to the office manager/directors office and explain to him what is needed, have him take some village elder or family friend who is government official. In these small communities everyone knows everyone. Might be they are after a little pursuasion...they're probably thinking that he's coming his "rich" American wife...and well you get the jist.

[morocco4ever 63]

Oh gf, I just can't believe this. I have read both threads and the situation reeks. I have advice, but I know you don't want to hear it. Think twice about this. Don't put on rose colored glasses. I know you love him, that is obvious. But he lied. And this was not a simple lie, this was major. Do you honestly think it will change down the road now that he was caught once?

[amal 4]

I have a lot I'd like to say about this situation. As a friend, I want to tell you to run fast, far, and furiously away from this situation ASAP coz nobody lies to their wife about what he has lied to you unless they have an alterior motive in mind.

That is what I WANT to say but instead, I'm gonna say this. You know what is in your gut vs. your mind. You know what's gonna happen if you continue with this and you know the consequences. It is ultimately your choice if you want to put yourself through hell or not and wether or not I agree is gonna mean absolutely nothing to you.

What I CAN do, however, is be here for you. I'm here for all my friends when they rise and I'll be here when/if ever they fall. (I hope they'd do the same for me) I'll do the same for you. I will be here for you wether you stay or leave no matter what I think is best for you and then when/if ever things fall, I'll be here to help pick you back up if need be.

I wish you much luck in whateve you choose but please, please think with your mind and not your heart right now. I don't want to see you become more hurt than you already have been. You are way too good to be taken advantage of.

We love ya

Amal