That leap of faith...

[pax 0]

I'm just bothered in general, does that count for anything?

[Jenn! 918]

SHe has a right to be bothered by it.

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

clearly you are bothered that she is bothered...

i mean, we could do this all day.

Let's!

Are you bothered that she's bothered that I'm bothered???

[CarolineM 0]

I'm bothered that your bothered that I'm bothered that she's bothered that you're bothered that I'm botehred that we are all bothered!

bother - what a strange word

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

Ok, I guess I can see where you are coming from at that angle. I know that I can get pretty frustrated at times when I can't understand ppl of my own language lol. I did date a foreign exchange student from Mexico once when I was in high school, and although he was alright in speaking English, I still had a hard time once in a while understanding him and it was very frustrating. He was a very nice guy and actually continued to call me when he went back him. But I know in my heart that it wouldnt have worked out for me personally because I have a hard enough time as it is getting my own thoughts across to someone of my own language. Even being in the UK, I have had Ians family tell me or friends of his tell me that when they call on the phone and talk to me that they find it hard to understand me.

SO with that being said, I can say that on that angle...for me personally, no way jose.. But..as someone else had said, if you are two consenting adults, and are acting like adults and not two teenage kids in lust, then I will still say that it isnt for us to decide or to have reservations. At the end of the day it will be them that have to deal with the aftermath if it doesnt work out. So where does that leave the question as a whole? I don't know honestly. You have raised a very valid point and my hat is off to you for asking it. How does it effect those of us who do have a relationship where we understand one another and so on? How should it effect our immigration process? I dont know that either. I want to be on the fence if you will because I can see both sides of the story. Love doesnt know any boundaries...love doesnt know race, colour, age..etc...hmmm me thinks I need to think more on that.

Laura Mitchell

I'm just bothered in general, does that count for anything?

LMAO...I think it depends on what sort of "bothered" you are talking about...hahahaha

Laura Mitchell

SHe has a right to be bothered by it.

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

clearly you are bothered that she is bothered...

i mean, we could do this all day.

Let's!

Are you bothered that she's bothered that I'm bothered???

HMMM are you BOTHERED that I am BOTHERED and sitting here waiting patiently for my husband to get home??? oooooo I so did just go there lol. Sorry...but sometimes I just can't help myself lol

Laura

[Fandango 1,440]

Ok, I guess I can see where you are coming from at that angle. I know that I can get pretty frustrated at times when I can't understand ppl of my own language lol. I did date a foreign exchange student from Mexico once when I was in high school, and although he was alright in speaking English, I still had a hard time once in a while understanding him and it was very frustrating. He was a very nice guy and actually continued to call me when he went back him. But I know in my heart that it wouldnt have worked out for me personally because I have a hard enough time as it is getting my own thoughts across to someone of my own language. Even being in the UK, I have had Ians family tell me or friends of his tell me that when they call on the phone and talk to me that they find it hard to understand me.

SO with that being said, I can say that on that angle...for me personally, no way jose.. But..as someone else had said, if you are two consenting adults, and are acting like adults and not two teenage kids in lust, then I will still say that it isnt for us to decide or to have reservations. At the end of the day it will be them that have to deal with the aftermath if it doesnt work out. So where does that leave the question as a whole? I don't know honestly. You have raised a very valid point and my hat is off to you for asking it. How does it effect those of us who do have a relationship where we understand one another and so on? How should it effect our immigration process? I dont know that either. I want to be on the fence if you will because I can see both sides of the story. Love doesnt know any boundaries...love doesnt know race, colour, age..etc...hmmm me thinks I need to think more on that.

Laura Mitchell

But the foeign exchange student was THERE with you....

so if you don't have communication

and you don't have close proximity

what is it? and do you think that your relationship, (or any other that is not hindered by these two things TOGETHER) should be held to the same scrutiny for fraud?

Oh and for karo, jenn & pax and everyone else:

[chri'stina 190]

I think most people on VJ (at least the people that I know of) are able to communicate with their fiance/spouse and it's very rare to find a couple who admits they can hardly talk to eachother because of a language barrier.

Sujeet is from India where a lot of people learn english while growing up, so communication was never an issue for us. Even though some people might not know that about India(people who know little about India possibly) and wonder how we talked. Day to day I don't even think of it that he has an accent. He sounds like a mix of Indian/British to me, since they learn British english in India.

I think most people on VJ have a similar experience...either both from English speaking countries, or both have English in common, or sometimes they can have a different common language like Spanish or French, or anything really.

I'm not sure about the fraud question and language barrier...while I do think anything that would raise a red flag, and if that could be having no common language to talk to eachother in, should probably be put under more scrutiny.

Edited May 19, 2006 by stina&suj

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

I dont think it should be classed as fraud because fraud is where you maliciously with intent fool someone into thinking that you are someone that you are not, or trick them for your own well being and self purpose. If you know someone is from a foreign country speaking a different language...you know basically what you are contending with (god i hope you understand that lol) As far as scrutiny goes, yes I will give you that. I can see why you would scrutinse a relationship when their is no proper communication. PHEW THANK ###### FOR THIS FINAL AGREEMENT...can we rest now masta??? lol..

AND RIGHT NOW...I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOVERED...GOD WHERE IS MY PRINCE??? weeeep

Laura

[CarolineM 0]

I'm sorry but I think Indian/British accents are HOT.

This guy my family knew had that accent and I used to drool.

Ok...just my two cents. I'm a total accent #######.

[almaty 19]

I'm bothered that your bothered that I'm bothered that she's bothered that you're bothered that I'm botehred that we are all bothered!

bother - what a strange word

a great word..used by a great brit..."oh, bother" winnie the pooh

[chri'stina 190]

I'm sorry but I think Indian/British accents are HOT.

This guy my family knew had that accent and I used to drool.

Ok...just my two cents. I'm a total accent #######.

Yes I do love it also!

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

OK OK OK...SO I TOO AM AN ACCENT #######!! jesus..am i going to go to hell now???? if so...AM I BOVERED???? THank god I am out of the closet on that one. The first time I heard Ian talk...WOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY!!!!!!! I still get week in the knees when he says my name..hmmmmmmmm

Laura Mitchell

[CarolineM 0]

I, too, go weak when Stewart talks. That Aussie accent is the BEST...

Accent Whores unite!

[rebeccajo 14]

O man I can't believe we are all still here....

The only way this could be changed (procedurally) would be for USCIS to stipulate that the couple has to have met MORE than once and the relationship would have to have been 'ongoing' for a certain amount of time.

So who's gonna decide how many times? And what kind of proof? And who's gonna decide what the acceptable length of time would be?

And...if somebody is gonna fraud the US Govt - don't you think that no matter WHAT is stipulated, they will figure a way around it?

That's probably why the bar is set so 'low' - there's only so much the government can do to protect people from themselves.

Edited May 19, 2006 by rebeccajo

[Sister Fracas 5]

SHe has a right to be bothered by it.

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

clearly you are bothered that she is bothered...

i mean, we could do this all day.

nope, you clearly misread...could give a rat's #######...was just asking a question... *shrug*

[JenT 0]

OK OK OK...SO I TOO AM AN ACCENT #######!! jesus..am i going to go to hell now???? if so...AM I BOVERED???? THank god I am out of the closet on that one. The first time I heard Ian talk...WOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY!!!!!!! I still get week in the knees when he says my name..hmmmmmmmm

Laura Mitchell

I'm right there with you on that one, Laura. David is from E. London... I could listen to him all day... the first time I heard him speak, I was hooked. And it's quite the bonus that we have to talk so much... I get to listen A LOT

BUT... we also joke about who is 'really' speaking English... and we have had a few misunderstandings due to differences in definitions of words we each use, but we have learned to recognize when we may not be 'on the same page' about something we're talking about and stop for clarification.

I could not imagine trying to develop a long distance relationship with someone if there were no common language... What would have brought a couple like that together? Physical attraction? We've talked some on this board about how that can only sustain a relationship for so long... having the ability to communicate is so fundamental to a relationship, I'm not sure it would be possible... would LOVE to hear testimony from someone who was successful at it though.

Jen