That leap of faith...

[JenT 0]

Laura, I want you to know that your post (in red text) actually brought tears to my eyes when you were speaking in defense of your relationship with Ian. I feel as passionate about my David, and I have felt equally intensely about defending my relationship with him to others when I have been challenged. For the most part though, my defensiveness has brought me nothing but frustration. Trying to convince someone, who already had a pre-conceived notion about long distance relationships, that yours is going to succeed where perhaps their personal (or peripheral) experience has shown them otherwise, tends to make you sound like you are trying to convince yourself, as well, that things are going to work out.

No one likes to feel backed into a corner about anything we feel so strongly about. The ONLY people who I choose to discuss this with anymore are those who understand my history... who know me for who I am... those in my 'inner circle'... and well, now all of you, because people on this board have more of an understanding about what we go through on a daily basis as a result of this process. I just choose to remain strongly, and quietly (for the most part) convicted in my choices. I have earned the right to make my own decisions and the rest of the world be damned.

I, too, have had some difficulty with my family accepting my choice (I was the perfect first-born who fell HARD from the pedestal when I divorced myself from the 'perfect' marriage 3 years ago), but they have not gone so far as to ostracize me because of it. I am deeply sorry for you in your situation and can clearly see why this topic brings such an intense reaction from you.

Jenn... I appreciate your comments for your directness and clarity. You have made some thought provoking remarks and I, for one, always appreciate another perspective. That's how I learn... and if and when I disagree with a post or remark, it sometimes serves as a validation my own beliefs, if that makes any sense. That's one of the things that makes this country such a great one... freedom of speech.

There are times when I've learned that it's ok to agree to disagree on a subject... as several others have mentioned, expressing feelings is one thing, but expecting everyone to agree is another.

Jen

[Sister Fracas 5]

SHe has a right to be bothered by it.

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

[Mand 1]

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

I agree, we've all probably got enough to worry about in our own day to day lives without being bothered what others think.

[Jenn! 918]

SHe has a right to be bothered by it.

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

A lot of people.

Ask any opponent of gay marriage or abortion...

[Sister Fracas 5]

SHe has a right to be bothered by it.

I suppose if you want to let what other people do bother you...*shrug* My point is WHY be bothered? Who the frick cares what anyone else does?

A lot of people.

Ask any opponent of gay marriage or abortion...

then that's their hangup.

I don't give a rat's ####### how other people choose to either seek out relationships or carry them out. And ya know...if they only meet for a week and file for the K1...I'm not nervous or worried for them either. If they are adults, that's their choice, bottom line.

I did the unpopular (on VJ) thing by waiting out the CR1, when a K1 and K3 would have been the much quicker in terms of the K1 and slightly quicker in terms of the K3, method to go. pfft...it was our choice...right for us and came with a whole lot less of post immigration headaches. Some people I remember thought I should just want to reunite with my husband the fastest way. Oh, well...I couldn't really be bothered what they thought as I was confident in our choices. Again, I'm just saying...this is all about what makes you most comfortable.

[Mand 1]

I left this thread yesterday and everything had been sorted out amicably.

What happened in my opinion was that there was a miscommunication and things went haywire from there. These kinds of mis-understandings are common with online threads, as some people speak with their eyes, facial expressions, hands etc and so their point is often picked up wrong or lost.

[Fandango 1,440]

Why is Catharine Tate in my head now? lol

Anyways, Laura...my intention wasn't to insult you. But I cannot apologise any more & cannot put up any more disclaimers how I am not trying to insult anyone, etc.

People are going to disagree...and I agree with those who say that outside opinion shouldn't matter a damn if you're happy, We're not all going to agree on everything, but that doesn't mean a thing.

Everyone has a right to a differing opinion...that's why they make so many flavors of ice cream

[Sister Fracas 5]

People are going to disagree...and I agree with those who say that outside opinion shouldn't matter a damn if you're happy, We're not all going to agree on everything, but that doesn't mean a thing.

Everyone has a right to a differing opinion...that's why they make so many flavors of ice cream

I understand that.... but what is there to disagree when it comes to someone else's relationship? How can you (not you personally, but anyone who can't understand an online relationship where people haven't met "enough") disagree or agree for that matter that what they are doing is right? Because for every person disagreeing that you can't really know someone well enough with such limited physical time, there are just as many people disagreeing that people from different countries and cultures can't possibly make marriages work. No?

To me it's just about accepting that people have different comfort levels with the "non-traditional"

Edited May 19, 2006 by Frances

[Fandango 1,440]

People are going to disagree...and I agree with those who say that outside opinion shouldn't matter a damn if you're happy, We're not all going to agree on everything, but that doesn't mean a thing.

Everyone has a right to a differing opinion...that's why they make so many flavors of ice cream

I understand that.... but what is there to disagree when in comes to someone else's relationship? How can you (not you personally, but anyone who can't understand an online relationship where people haven't met "enough") disagree or agree for that matter that what they are doing is right? Because for every person disagreeing that you can't relly know someone well enough with such limited physical time, there are jsut as many people disagreeing that people from different countries and cultures can't possibly make marriages work. No?

Yeah that didn't come out the way I'd intended.

Meaning, you might do one thing Frances, but it doesn't work for me....neither of us are saying our way is better, it's just what works for each individual.

Hrmm, hope that's coming out right. I'm multitasking atm, haha

[Sister Fracas 5]

Yeah that didn't come out the way I'd intended.

Meaning, you might do one thing Frances, but it doesn't work for me....neither of us are saying our way is better, it's just what works for each individual.

Hrmm, hope that's coming out right. I'm multitasking atm, haha

Dang straight.... I'd NEVER multi-task at work...

[Fandango 1,440]

Like, it's not for ME (or anyone else) to say what's RIGHT for someone else. Doesn't mean we can't have a discussion where each of us can discuss our views.

Yeah that didn't come out the way I'd intended.

Meaning, you might do one thing Frances, but it doesn't work for me....neither of us are saying our way is better, it's just what works for each individual.

Hrmm, hope that's coming out right. I'm multitasking atm, haha

Dang straight.... I'd NEVER multi-task at work...

yeah sometimes I don't necessarily type what Im thinking exactly

[Sister Fracas 5]

yeah sometimes I don't necessarily type what Im thinking exactly

Your fingers have minds of their own too then, huh?

Stop larfing at chavs...they can't help it...they were born that way!

Edited May 19, 2006 by Frances

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

I do respect everyones opinion and if I come across doing the oposite then I do sincerley apologise. As far as convincing myself my marriage will work out, no, I have no need to do that. I know in my heart that Ian is the one. I just don't agree with anyone getting special treatment due to how their own relationship started. That is what I honestly got out of Jenn as her belief. Lets face it, all of us here have our own stories to tell. God knows I do. IF I were to go on about my whole life, we would all be here for months. I have seen so much and been through so much in my own life and often wondered what the hell I did wrong to deserve this #######. Then I started growing as a person and realised that things do happen for a reason. What has happened to me in my own life has made me stronger it just took me a while to see that. For once in my life, I am at peace and I am happy. It doesnt mean to say that things like this arent going to upset me. I may come across as being upset for now but at the end of the day when I lay my head down, I know that I have made the right choices and for all those that talk ill about me, they don't matter. Ian is my heart and soul. I would never put him on a pedestol because it would be too far to reach him. TOgether we walk through this marriage side by side, hand in hand, hearts intertwined. If you see us, you wouldnt be able to tell that we had met online. Its like we have known eachother all our lives. Even then we still pleasantly surprise one another.

To Jenn, I do apologise if I seemed catty. That wasn't my intention at all. I just dont think you should feel as if one relationship deserves a green card any other way over another. (hope that makes sense lol). Part of growing as a person means that you are open minded to what others think. Surely you can understand that without taking offense. I truly know where my heart is regardless of how we met. And I would hate for anyone to take away our chance of being together merely because of how we met.

Thanks..

Laura Mitchell

Also (edit here lol), when I am upset..ask anyone that knows me..i do get over it pretty quick. Life is to ###### short to let things bring you down..~

Edited May 19, 2006 by ljwinquist

[Fandango 1,440]

yeah sometimes I don't necessarily type what Im thinking exactly

Your fingers have minds of their own too then, huh?

Stop larfing at chavs...they can't help it...they were born that way!

me and a friend were looking at chav pics last night & next thing I knew, it was midnight.

I said 'omG where has the time gone?'

and that was her answer

[JenT 0]

Well said, Laura.