Divorce after US Citizenship?

[NickD 202]

On the way to the field office yesterday, we went through all 96 questions and answers twice. On the way back, my wife says, let's get a divorce, shocked to hear that, asked her why. Then she replied, than we can have a real wedding and marriage without going through all this immigration stuff.

A lot of truth to that statement, over six years of this stuff with big brother peering into our very private lives ever since my wife and I started get serious. Just about every part of our relationship dealt with the USCIS, making copies of love letters, phone calls, trips, when and if we could get married, copying anything that proves we are together for the USCIS. Wonder if when this is over, if I can do our taxes next year without making an extra copy, paying our property taxes, or just tossing something in from the mailbox in the trashcan without saving it as proof of our relationship for the USCIS?

See my hard disk has 230 MB of immigration data and perhaps over a hundred immigration related bookmarks, can I delete those? Does the USCIS offer a detraining program so we can learn to live together as normal people without them?

Or maybe we should just get divorced and start all over again, but this time without the USCIS. How about you, are you brainwashed too? Should we form a group therapy program? Or just look for something else in the USCIS archives to apply for. The USCIS as become very much apart of our lives, we have to learn to live together without them now.

[FVA 0]

oh yeah i'm brainwashed! for 4 years i've been collecting everything that proves that we are honest normal people, crazy in love and who want to be together...but had the bad luck to be from different countries.

proving yourself to be honest gets pretty annoying after a while, too!

we were just talking about how after we are done with USCIS it will feel great to shred all those boxes full of papers in our closet - bank statements, pay stubs from 2003, all that cr_p that we only keep because of uscis.

i'll definitely need to be 'deprogramed' when we'll be done! if anything, this process made me a lot more obsessive-compulsive than i ever used to be.

i wish i would've seen your face when she told you to get a divorce after her interview!

[Flames9_RN 358]

There only part if you make them part of ur lives! I dont sit and stress and wait for NOA,1, 2, biometrics, oh my god, no touches,lol it happens when it happens. Congrats on ur wife obtaining her citizenship.

[Kiv 32]

oh yeah i'm brainwashed! for 4 years i've been collecting everything that proves that we are honest normal people, crazy in love and who want to be together...but had the bad luck to be from different countries.

proving yourself to be honest gets pretty annoying after a while, too!

we were just talking about how after we are done with USCIS it will feel great to shred all those boxes full of papers in our closet - bank statements, pay stubs from 2003, all that cr_p that we only keep because of uscis.

i'll definitely need to be 'deprogramed' when we'll be done! if anything, this process made me a lot more obsessive-compulsive than i ever used to be.

i wish i would've seen your face when she told you to get a divorce after her interview!

I know what you mean, I think the best part of leaving these procedures behind, is to stop saving every single piece of paper just in case you need it to prove that you love your spouse.

My husband asked me if I was going to divorce him now that I have a passport, but is easier to be Naturalized than to find a good man to be married. Is not going to be that easy to get ride of me.

Nick congratulations to your Wife.

[*JG* 2]

Those are some funny statements. True; but funny. No one understands till they go through it. Never will.

[Staashi 371]

Those are some funny statements. True; but funny. No one understands till they go through it. Never will.

So freaking true...until you've felt like a criminal because you fell in love with a foreigner you will never be able to understand. And for all those people who give you this attitude like you deserve to go through this because your relationship should be completely vetted by USCIS - I want to say F### YOU!!!

Just my two cents.

[wifey246 0]

Edited July 18, 2008 by wifey246

[wifey246 0]

As much as I hated keeping a big drawer of old bills and other stuff, filing joint income tax returns when it was more practical to file separately, and constantly trying to get us both in pictures, I somewhat enjoyed some part of it. I enjoyed looking at our marriage from different perspectives. I was overwhelmed with memories on the day I went through our "INS drawer". I am thankful that we took a lot of pictures.

But I look forward to the day when I can continue to enjoy these things without the pressure - much like enjoying learning new things without the pressure of grades and teachers.  I'll keep a "memento drawer" instead, I'll keep taking hundreds of pictures of my family and every once in a while stop to look at our marriage from a stranger's point of view.

[beejay 123]

A lot of truth to that statement, over six years of this stuff with big brother peering into our very private lives ever since my wife and I started get serious. Just about every part of our relationship dealt with the USCIS, making copies of love letters, phone calls, trips, when and if we could get married, copying anything that proves we are together for the USCIS.

I felt that same way when I was first gathering stuff for the K1. My husband and I use to keep a book where we would write things to each other (started before either one of us had ever heard of a K1 visa) and I remember going through it trying to pick a page here and a page there but feeling totally conflicted. I wanted to show that my husband (fiance at the time) and I had a legitimate relationship but I also remember feeling like it was none of their business. A few people I expressed this to even responded with 'well what do you expect?'.

I've learned to accept that a certain amount of privacy is lost but it is weird to have a sort of secret hovering 3rd party involved in your relationship and that it can make life easy or hard for you. How many non-international couples have had to sit down and practice dates and times of places they were and where they met, knowing their answers will be used to judge the validity of their relationship?

I knew I wasn't the only one who felt this way but it's nice to see it expressed by someone else. Yeah for validation.

Thanks NickD and congratulations!