Insight needed!

[forchika 4]

I am so jealous. Nearly everything you've mentioned here I've tried cooking for my husband and he won't eat it. My life would be so simple if my husband was as agreeable with food as yours. lol. One of the places I love is the Chinese Buffet here and he is afraid to eat there. He thinks that chinese food is snakes, lizzards, etc. HUH??? I told him if that's how it is in 9gia.....its not that way here. He reluctantly agreed to go one day but he only picked at a couple things....(shrimp and some of those sugary donut things). It was a waste of $12. My husband has a good stature. He's 6'4 and came here weighing a little over 200, very much an athletic build. I can only hope that he will not lose that due to the limited food he eats here. He ate so much in Nigeria. But here, he doesn't eat as much as back home. We too shared from the same plate while eating. They would serve us one plate, two spoons/forks, it was so cute.

Wow Akinstacey he is really picky!!!!! Some of the things on the Chinese buffett at least resemble some of the food that I can remember eating in Nigeria when we went out to eat. Like the rice and the fish, that's too funny that he thinks the chinese food looks like snakes and lizzards (that would probably be the seafood )Can not blame him , not too crazy about the seafood. Maybe he would like Jamaican food, has he tried that? I told my hubby that some of their food reminds me of Jamaican food.

[Asante Maroon 0]

Wow Akinstacey he is really picky!!!!! Some of the things on the Chinese buffett at least resemble some of the food that I can remember eating in Nigeria when we went out to eat. Like the rice and the fish, that's too funny that he thinks the chinese food looks like snakes and lizzards (that would probably be the seafood )Can not blame him , not too crazy about the seafood. Maybe he would like Jamaican food, has he tried that? I told my hubby that some of their food reminds me of Jamaican food.

I can vouch for that! Most Africans that I know LOVE Jamaican food... Especially my step father who is Nigerian and all my Ghanian friends. The popular items seems to be Oxtails (which are made in a brown stew) Jerk Chicken, and Escovich Fish (Usually made from Fried Red Snapper or Red Fish [as they call it in Ghana] topped with peppered and pickled sliced onions and carrot strips. Other types of fish are sometimes used but red snapper is the most popular and the most tasty (in my opinion). Rice and peas are also a big hit as the starch in the meal. And of course most Jamaican dishes usually comes with a side of fried sweet plantains

Kobby wanted nothing but Oxtails when he first got here. It is still by far one of his favorite meals.

As far as breakfast goes...We (Caribbeans) eat fish for breakfast too So if your hubby is big on fish, there are many types of fish dishes typically served for breakfast. Jamaican Porridges are also pretty popular amongst my closest African family and friends. Most popular types: Cornmeal porridge. But there are various other types which are just as great!

Stacey...I would try him on some Jamaican food...I'm sure he will like it.

[Zi Zi 0]

Wow Akinstacey he is really picky!!!!! Some of the things on the Chinese buffett at least resemble some of the food that I can remember eating in Nigeria when we went out to eat. Like the rice and the fish, that's too funny that he thinks the chinese food looks like snakes and lizzards (that would probably be the seafood )Can not blame him , not too crazy about the seafood. Maybe he would like Jamaican food, has he tried that? I told my hubby that some of their food reminds me of Jamaican food.

I can vouch for that! Most Africans that I know LOVE Jamaican food... Especially my step father who is Nigerian and all my Ghanian friends. The popular items seems to be Oxtails (which are made in a brown stew) Jerk Chicken, and Escovich Fish (Usually made from Fried Red Snapper or Red Fish [as they call it in Ghana] topped with peppered and pickled sliced onions and carrot strips. Other types of fish are sometimes used but red snapper is the most popular and the most tasty (in my opinion). Rice and peas are also a big hit as the starch in the meal. And of course most Jamaican dishes usually comes with a side of fried sweet plantains

Kobby wanted nothing but Oxtails when he first got here. It is still by far one of his favorite meals.

As far as breakfast goes...We (Caribbeans) eat fish for breakfast too So if your hubby is big on fish, there are many types of fish dishes typically served for breakfast. Jamaican Porridges are also pretty popular amongst my closest African family and friends. Most popular types: Cornmeal porridge. But there are various other types which are just as great!

Stacey...I would try him on some Jamaican food...I'm sure he will like it.

My father (who is Nigerian) favorite place to eat out is a Jamaican restaurant where he orders curried goat with rice

He also likes the ox tails.

[xoxo 0]

all the advice u recieved was excellent....i just want to add that it takes time to really get into the groove of things..patience patience patience....being in a long distance relationship has taught me that...

[/quote

It is hard at FIRST in any marriage/relationship some easier than others, but we all have disagreements one way or the other. Growing up around culture all my life, Men love respect Especially african men. They will do anything for you if you give them respect,Keep good communication and pray together even over the phone. You have to keep asking god everyday to help you and your fiance. ask him sweetheart what can I do better and then you tell him the same try that .Also try and be a little more toned when you get heated.

[Asante Maroon 0]

Wow Akinstacey he is really picky!!!!! Some of the things on the Chinese buffett at least resemble some of the food that I can remember eating in Nigeria when we went out to eat. Like the rice and the fish, that's too funny that he thinks the chinese food looks like snakes and lizzards (that would probably be the seafood )Can not blame him , not too crazy about the seafood. Maybe he would like Jamaican food, has he tried that? I told my hubby that some of their food reminds me of Jamaican food.

I can vouch for that! Most Africans that I know LOVE Jamaican food... Especially my step father who is Nigerian and all my Ghanian friends. The popular items seems to be Oxtails (which are made in a brown stew) Jerk Chicken, and Escovich Fish (Usually made from Fried Red Snapper or Red Fish [as they call it in Ghana] topped with peppered and pickled sliced onions and carrot strips. Other types of fish are sometimes used but red snapper is the most popular and the most tasty (in my opinion). Rice and peas are also a big hit as the starch in the meal. And of course most Jamaican dishes usually comes with a side of fried sweet plantains

Kobby wanted nothing but Oxtails when he first got here. It is still by far one of his favorite meals.

As far as breakfast goes...We (Caribbeans) eat fish for breakfast too So if your hubby is big on fish, there are many types of fish dishes typically served for breakfast. Jamaican Porridges are also pretty popular amongst my closest African family and friends. Most popular types: Cornmeal porridge. But there are various other types which are just as great!

Stacey...I would try him on some Jamaican food...I'm sure he will like it.

My father (who is Nigerian) favorite place to eat out is a Jamaican restaurant where he orders curried goat with rice

He also likes the ox tails.

yes! ZiZi...how could i forget the goat!!!! definitely a fav :lol:

Edited July 21, 2008 by Asante Maroon

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

Wow Akinstacey he is really picky!!!!! Some of the things on the Chinese buffett at least resemble some of the food that I can remember eating in Nigeria when we went out to eat. Like the rice and the fish, that's too funny that he thinks the chinese food looks like snakes and lizzards (that would probably be the seafood )Can not blame him , not too crazy about the seafood. Maybe he would like Jamaican food, has he tried that? I told my hubby that some of their food reminds me of Jamaican food.

I can vouch for that! Most Africans that I know LOVE Jamaican food... Especially my step father who is Nigerian and all my Ghanian friends. The popular items seems to be Oxtails (which are made in a brown stew) Jerk Chicken, and Escovich Fish (Usually made from Fried Red Snapper or Red Fish [as they call it in Ghana] topped with peppered and pickled sliced onions and carrot strips. Other types of fish are sometimes used but red snapper is the most popular and the most tasty (in my opinion). Rice and peas are also a big hit as the starch in the meal. And of course most Jamaican dishes usually comes with a side of fried sweet plantains

Kobby wanted nothing but Oxtails when he first got here. It is still by far one of his favorite meals.

As far as breakfast goes...We (Caribbeans) eat fish for breakfast too So if your hubby is big on fish, there are many types of fish dishes typically served for breakfast. Jamaican Porridges are also pretty popular amongst my closest African family and friends. Most popular types: Cornmeal porridge. But there are various other types which are just as great!

Stacey...I would try him on some Jamaican food...I'm sure he will like it.

Wow, you guys must be sending signals to me because before I even read this.....last night I cooked something that my 'ex' used to cook. He is from St. Vincent & the Grenadines and he used to make an awesome batch of curried chicken soup with plaintain (green) and 'ground food' as he called it which was basically sweet potato, cassava, bread fruit, carrot, etc. he also used to cook something called palau. It was so good. So last night I tried to make the chicken soup. It didn't come out quite as good as when my 'ex' used to make it but my husband liked it. Tonight I think I'll try making the palau. wish me luck

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

That's part of it all communication, clarification and choosing which battles are worth pursuing. I've been reading up and trying to ask lots of questions to the Africans in my area and so far I feel that concerning the African women, it's not that she's quiet and will take more stuff off her spouse, but if she feels strongly about a situation she will address that situation in a calm manner, then if necessary get others involved ( cousins, sisters, mother, father, even the chief ) to help smooth out the situation.

Idocare...

this is a very good point. It is very common for a Nigerian husband/wife to involve the family when problems occur. I have experienced this first-hand. We as Americans usually don't like to involve our families when there's trouble in a relationship so it through me for a loop when my husband called home and asked his parents to talk to me. There is usually an elder sibling in a Yoruba family who is called Olori Ebi. This is the person who has "taken charge" of most family matters. In my husband's case, it is his elder brother, Sesan. So it would be very common for my husband to have Sesan speak with me if there is any mis-understandings.

I was actually assigned a a "representative" so to speak from his tribe. He calls and checks on me regularly and Bassi speaks to him with great respect. Bassi has to answer to him if he "wrongs" me in anyway and I'm to go to him with any problems. He explained to me that it's an embarassment to their tribe if I am hurt or upset in anyway and go to my family to complain. They have to resolve the problems and keep me happy as they promised my father. But if Bassi is upset, he's talks to his older brother Isaka. But Isaka never speaks to me about an issue directly, he counsels Bassi essentially on how to proceed. But the one time I called on Yussif, he intervened and took Bassi and I out for lunch and then we had a LONG talk. He told me why I was wrong, then he told Bassi why he was wrong, then he warned us about letting anything come between us and encouraged us to listen more closely to each other. Before we left the restaurant, the issue was resolved.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

My hubby loves salads. Dressing were overwhelming for him. Selection is very limited in Ethiopia. So I always keep his fav in the house and then I'll buy other just to see. Also when we go out to eat, well ask for two types of dressing both on the side.

I usually order for him in restaurants. Since the preparation methods a very different here. Now that he's been here a while he'll order for himself occasionally. I have noticed that once he's had a dish prepared/served one way, its difficult to get him to eat it differently. For example, he thinks I'm backwards when I want to eat grits for dinner.

Bassi has only been home for about three weeks now. But he pretty much eats everything. He didn't like the lasagna either, but he felt it had too much tomato sauce and I think the sauce was a little sweet. (we were at the Olive Garden) It's amazing the quantity of food he eats, but he definitely likes everything that I cook. I think that the fact that I'm west indian helps because the food from our cultures are really very very similar so he's accostumed to the flavors already. He's adjusted well to pasta dishes. He LOVES salad and ate a lot of salad in Ghana, but like Asante was saying the mayo and ketchup this is hard to break. So he usually eats Thousand Island dressing and I always order the dressing on the side in restaurants so he has to opportunity to try something different. Now, he's also fond of ranch and tried to swipe the left over container from the diner last Sunday. So, I can buy that now too. Bassi doesn't seem to "get" breakfast though. Generally, he'll have some tea and bread in Ghana. So here, he's all confused with the choices and doesn't know what to do, so he skips it. One morning he was heating up leftover BBQ chicken and cornbread for breakfast. He'll eat rasin bran, but feels like it's a snack and he needs something else with it.

Do you all order for both of you in the restaurants? I wondered about this because I remember someone posting about the idea of letting your man be independent and not "mothering" him. So, usually I tell him what different stuff on the menu is and he chooses which he wants, but he doesn't want to speak to the waiter AT ALL. I'm not sure why he does that. He just looks at me and even refuses to respond to direct questions. It seems wierd to me. So, I order everything, including telling them not to put ice in his iced tea.

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

quote]

Do you all order for both of you in the restaurants? I wondered about this because I remember someone posting about the idea of letting your man be independent and not "mothering" him. So, usually I tell him what different stuff on the menu is and he chooses which he wants, but he doesn't want to speak to the waiter AT ALL. I'm not sure why he does that. He just looks at me and even refuses to respond to direct questions. It seems wierd to me. So, I order everything, including telling them not to put ice in his iced tea.

100%. Even when he knows what he's going to order (b/c he orders the same thing often), he still lets me know before the waiter/waitress comes that I should tell them what he wants. It's a little embarrassing especially cuz the waiter will then look at him and ask.....how do you want your steak (but then I answer)...and then he'll look at him and ask what sides do you want (but then I answer). It's quite funny. I always wonder what the waiter/waitress is thinking. Well, at least I know now that I'm not alone in this. lol

[ForeverAmen 0]

My hubby loves salads. Dressing were overwhelming for him.

My husband also loves salads. BUT ... without the salad dressing. Nevertheless, he does love the way I prepare toss salads. In addition to the usual items (onions, cucumber, etc., etc.) I also add slices of a green apple, or a mango. He loves it!

[ForeverAmen 0]

Do you all order for both of you in the restaurants? I wondered about this because I remember someone posting about the idea of letting your man be independent and not "mothering" him. So, usually I tell him what different stuff on the menu is and he chooses which he wants, but he doesn't want to speak to the waiter AT ALL. I'm not sure why he does that. He just looks at me and even refuses to respond to direct questions. It seems wierd to me. So, I order everything, including telling them not to put ice in his iced tea.

Initially I would order for the both of us. However, I started feeling as though my efforts would end up being a handicap. My husband's accent, and choice of words are not always 'on point'. So whenever the opportunity presents itself so that he can take charge, I try to step to the side and watch him in action. Sometimes it does become a bit frustrating for him and the waiter; but IMO, we learn by trying, falling down, and getting up and trying again. Of course I am always there in case things get to be a bit much.

[reeses16 8]

I never really pay attention to the waiter/waitress when we order. I've probably missed some funny moments. I usually do my hubby's order first. I don't feel like ordering for him is mothering (especially since, we talk about whats on the menu and he tells me what he wants).

I remember being in Ethiopia and all the menus were in Amharic. So I needed help ordering. And even when people described it to me...it never was quite what I expected. Lol.

[ForeverAmen 0]

I never really pay attention to the waiter/waitress when we order. I've probably missed some funny moments. I usually do my hubby's order first. I don't feel like ordering for him is mothering (especially since, we talk about whats on the menu and he tells me what he wants).

I remember being in Ethiopia and all the menus were in Amharic. So I needed help ordering. And even when people described it to me...it never was quite what I expected. Lol.

I agree. As a matter of fact a while ago (here on VJ) someone made a statement in reference to food situations (especially away from home). They stated that often times when our SO are telling us to 'order', or 'whatever you decide' it's because it may be something new to them. Just as it would probably be for us when we are visiting their country.

By the way - sometimes you may notice a funny moment when paying attention to the waiter/waitress.

[forchika 4]

Wow Akinstacey he is really picky!!!!! Some of the things on the Chinese buffett at least resemble some of the food that I can remember eating in Nigeria when we went out to eat. Like the rice and the fish, that's too funny that he thinks the chinese food looks like snakes and lizzards (that would probably be the seafood )Can not blame him , not too crazy about the seafood. Maybe he would like Jamaican food, has he tried that? I told my hubby that some of their food reminds me of Jamaican food.

I can vouch for that! Most Africans that I know LOVE Jamaican food... Especially my step father who is Nigerian and all my Ghanian friends. The popular items seems to be Oxtails (which are made in a brown stew) Jerk Chicken, and Escovich Fish (Usually made from Fried Red Snapper or Red Fish [as they call it in Ghana] topped with peppered and pickled sliced onions and carrot strips. Other types of fish are sometimes used but red snapper is the most popular and the most tasty (in my opinion). Rice and peas are also a big hit as the starch in the meal. And of course most Jamaican dishes usually comes with a side of fried sweet plantains

Kobby wanted nothing but Oxtails when he first got here. It is still by far one of his favorite meals.

As far as breakfast goes...We (Caribbeans) eat fish for breakfast too So if your hubby is big on fish, there are many types of fish dishes typically served for breakfast. Jamaican Porridges are also pretty popular amongst my closest African family and friends. Most popular types: Cornmeal porridge. But there are various other types which are just as great!

Stacey...I would try him on some Jamaican food...I'm sure he will like it.

Thanks for the suggestions, sounds so tasty, I am going to try the fish dishes!!! I always get the same thing when I order Jamaican.

[ose_n_me 0]

I been reading this thread...and ya'll are cracking me up!... I been so busy, and it's been hectic since Ose got home...and I don't get much time to come online anymore...but I thought I would reply to this topic cuz it's so funny how our hubby's are adjusting.

I was sooooo paranoid before he got here that the food would be a huge issue. He always told me how picky he was, and how he was a light eater, and was worried about gaining weight when he got here. (dang...the man weighs the same as my 13yr old son..he NEEDS to put on some meat! haha) Plus he said he didnt like sweets, milk, butter, and only ate certain things if they were cooked a certain way. So a few days after he got here we drove 2 hrs to an African market and bought a bunch of his food. We agreed early on..that he would cook his food, so I have never really learned any recipes yet.

Well...let me just say all that went right out the window when he got here! He absolutely loves almost everything I've cooked for him. (He's been here almost 3 months now) At first he couldnt watch me cook because if he saw it had milk or butter..he would not want to eat it! But now he is crazy for American food! He especially loves pork; bacon, sausage, ribs. He wasn't fond of pasta at first...but he's liking it more and more. Cheese was an issue, cuz he'd never really had it before...but now he loves it. Although he did comment on "the leaves" (salad) he likes it, especailly cuz I add lots of other stuff. He loves all the salad dressings too...especially honey mustard and catalina dressing.

The funny thing is that I have to ask him to cook his beans, rice, pounded yam etc....otherwise he says he wouldnt even be thinking about making it! There's too many other choices of food! Even he is surprised how he has taken to the food...He is still perplexed when we go to the store...cuz he thinks its ridiculous all the brands there is to choose from. He's wanting really bad to learn how to cook stuff...so next on the agenda is finding a very simple and easy cookbook for him. The hardest thing will be for him to learn what everything is...ingredient wise.

But I am proud to say, my wonderful husband has gained 8lbs... (and u know he tripping...u know dem athletic types who think their six-pacs gonna disappear if they gain some meat!...oh brother!...lawd knows he doing them sit-ups and push-ups like crazy...lol)

He is doing amazingly well at adjusting to our lifestyle and the "yankee" way he calls it!... He is now studying for his learner's permit (he never had a driver's license)which will be an interesting experience teaching him to drive And he starts school for "Pharmacy Tech" in a couple weeks. The daily boredom was difficult for him at times...but he kept busy around the house and in the yard, and I dragged him to work with me alot until he got sick of all the ladies in the office giving him so much attention and wanting to know everything about Nigeria, how he is adjusting etc. He now begs me not to make him go to work with me....

Plus I have sons who keep him busy playing soccer, video games, etc. (omg is he ever competative! For someone who has never bowled before...he trying to dominate the kids on the Wii!)

I guess as someone else mentioned...I feel lucky that my hubby is so easy-going, open-minded, and willing to try and experience new things. When I spent 3 months in Naija he was amazed how easily I adjusted and accepted life there without any problems...and now we feel the same about his being here. We are so fortunate. We pray daily and thank God for our beautiful life together. We know we can make it thru anything since the worse part is over. But its a continuing learning experience every day.

And there have been small "misunderstandings" cuz of words/meanings getting lost in translation..lol...but we never ever let it get too far without talking it out. We adore each other, and still feel like we will be on our honeymoon forever

Dang...I wrote a flipping book Got carried away...sorry guys!

Wishing everyone a long, happy and healthy life together.

God Bless