Changing your name

[SonoranSongbird 3]

Well we are getting married in 11 days, but I've already had a similar experience. I asked at my bank about opening a joint account with my fiance as soon as he gets here rather than waiting for the marriage certificate in case we cannot get that right away, and the woman said yes, that was fine, I can open a joint account with anyone even if they are not my spouse, but I'd need to keep it in my maiden name until we got the marriage certificate. I explained that this wasn't an issue since I was not planning to change my name, and she STILL felt the need to explain that after the marriage we would need to bring in a copy of the certificate to change my name on the account. #######?

I'd guess that about half my friends either kept their own names or added their husband's name to their own name, maybe slightly less than half. But among younger women, the trend seems to be much more toward just taking your husband's name.

[TheATeam 0]

I was so happy to take his name when we got married. I, like Mephys, never really had a solid relationship with my dad. In fact, I consider my stepdad to be more of a father than my real dad ever was. So, because of that, and because I love Andrew, I decided to change my name. For me, moving to the States is a chance to start over, to reinvent myself, to be better than I was before and what better way to start than with a brand new name?! I know a lot of my girlfriends who decide to keep their maiden name or hyphenate. I suppose I'd feel different if I felt strong family ties to my last name but I don't.

[Scott'n'Natalie 0]

Heh..names..I'll keep this short but I've also been having problems with that.

My birth certificate has my name read as follow:

(1)GRANDMOTHER's NAME - (2)GODMOTHER's NAME - (3)MY FIRST NAME - (4)SURNAME

French Catholic tradition (as per my parents) is to have the actual child's name just before the surname. I'm not sure how common or not this is as I never thought any different until now but all my documentation (IDs, provincial and federal gov accounts and whatnot) is using my own first name and surname.. dropping the first two as they are considered "middle names".

The US Courts refused to do anything different when we got our marriage license and forced us to use the order on the birth certificate. Which meant that any application I-130 and I-129F was using this to keep things coherent.

Guess what? My passport (driver's license, medical card...) doesn't use that and I just got the NVC package which requires me to explain why..again, even though we supplied affidavits and all. And now I'm also being asked why I'm not using my married name..

[Emancipation 2]

I guess i should have said I am one of the masses who changed my name. I've had 3 different last names now (2nd marriage). I guess I grew up "old school" and always knew i'd be changing the old last name. I'm not a fan of hyphens at all, so i changed it fully

I have 2 brothers so my family name will continue. I think sometimes that's a factor as well in not changing your name.

I had friends once who BOTH changed their names when they got married, to a new hyphenated name!

[BH45 0]

For 46 years I've gone by my name - Gordon. I'm not sure, now, that I want to give that up. My family is very close and although most of my sisters took their hubby's name, I'm thinking that if I do, it will be hyphenated. Besides I believe there are already 2 other Mrs. Knight's out there - do I really want to be the 3rd?????

By keeping my maiden name, it would be easier on my daughter as she carries her dads name and all her documents have my maiden name on them.

Guess I should talk to Larry about it. I don't think he'll mind me keeping my name. If I do, then we can go a apply for my SSN and DL rather than waiting until after we are married.

So many things to consider and decide on.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I had friends once who BOTH changed their names when they got married, to a new hyphenated name!

I have friends who did something similar. She took his last name and added it as a hyphenated name before her own last name name, and he took her last name and added it as a hyphenated name before his own last name. A very interesting couple! I'm sure they have the post man very, very confused!

Edited July 15, 2008 by Kathryn41

[Necrotica 0]

My maiden name rhymes with a whole bunch of naughty/swear words, so I certainly wasn't crying over changing my name to a sexy French one! It is a real pain in the @ss to switch everything over to the new name, though.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

My maiden name rhymes with a whole bunch of naughty/swear words, so I certainly wasn't crying over changing my name to a sexy French one! It is a real pain in the @ss to switch everything over to the new name, though.

Uh... so now you're Madame Necrotique??????????????

[KarenCee 3]

I changed my name to my husband's for two reasons: 1) I was ready to shed my former married name - yes, I do have a child but we discussed this and she's fine with it and 2) I just love my hubby to bits and love his last name as well...an old French Acadian (yes, Acadian...not Canadian) name. Funny though, I didn't find it any trouble at all changing my name over...the only thing that I had to go physically do is to the SSN office and to the bank with my marriage license/certificate...wasn't that big of a deal. My employer did mine without me even being there (school's out in summer) and all I had to do was mail in a copy of my marriage license/certificate. When I had to renew my DL, I showed them my SS card with my new name...no problemo!

[Sprailenes 47]

I remember when I first met my husband when he was just my bf and in secret I would sign his last name next to my first and gigglesnort with glee.

However I kept my married name once married. Go figure.

[SapphireDreams 71]

I plan to change my name to his, but I would like to keep my name professionally... so I'm not sure how that will work. I'd like to change all my document, SSN, Driver's licence etc., but just have my business cards and work email have my maiden name... but we'll see, I'm not really too attached to my maiden name, even though it's pretty nice sounding. Luckily my future married name sounds good with my first name too.

[Necrotica 0]

My maiden name rhymes with a whole bunch of naughty/swear words, so I certainly wasn't crying over changing my name to a sexy French one! It is a real pain in the @ss to switch everything over to the new name, though.

Uh... so now you're Madame Necrotique??????????????

Not quite.

[trailmix 77]

Interesting conversation!

I have been married before and I changed my last name. I too wasn't very close to my Father and after giving it a little thought I decided - why would I keep that name!

When I divorced I changed back to my maiden name. Now married again, I still have my name.

First of all I found I actually missed my name - my Mother put a lot of thought in to it and my initials are MMM

Secondly - it was MY name and I quite like it

Edited July 16, 2008 by trailmix

[Mephys 2]

I had friends once who BOTH changed their names when they got married, to a new hyphenated name!

And then they give their children hyphenated names...

Marie-Laure Tremblay-Duboischatel

I'd love that, seriously....

[rae_and_scott 1]

I had friends once who BOTH changed their names when they got married, to a new hyphenated name!

I've also heard of people both changing their names to a combination of the two (not hyphenated). I liked that but Scott wasn't into it.

My mom made an interesting point. My parents were married for 26 years before they got divorced. I asked her why she wasn't changing back to her maiden name and she said, "Well, I've been a Riggs for longer than I'd been a Desmarais." I was like... oh, that makes sense.