My wife get frustrated from waiting and want to divorce

[araba 0]

THE REASON WHY I AM FRUSTERATED IN THIS MARRIAGE IS CUZ I OFFERED TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING HERE IN USA TO GO AND LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND IN MOROCCO BUT HE DID NOT WANT THAT HE TOLD ME NO!!! HE JUST WANTS TO CVOME TO USA WITH ME AND I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENS IF HE CAN NOT COME HERE AND HE SAID THAT WE WILL HAVE TO LIVE APART AND STILL BE MARRIED I JUST CAN NOT LIVE THAT WAY. AND I HAVE ASKED HIM SEVERAL TIMES TO GET A JOB AND HELP ME OUT BUT HE SAID NO HE CAN'T DO THAT HE EXPECTS ME TO DO ALL THIS ALL ON MY OWN WE ARE ALSO FIGHTING ALL THE TIME AND THAT IS TOO STRESSFUL ON ME SO WHAT DO I DO I CAN NOT DO?? Edited July 15, 2008 by araba

[NOandJO 0]

Sorry to hear that. If I were you I would file for the divorce. You are better off with out her. She doesn't sound like the type for you to settle down with anyways....

Good luck...

hello JV members

we got married on 21, january 2007, and our process still waiting to shedulde an appointment for a standard interview for the petitioner in SF california, my wife get sad and she thought all the time from waiting is just like time wasted from her life....!!

and our process need just some patience to done , 13 months and we are waiting (california service center).

and also she says that her income not let her to continue our process and want me to help her for get her ticket plane like +2000$ and money for her to get transport to go to SF... and last night she sent me email told me that not call her anymore and want to file divorce soon and want to back to her ex-boyfriend...she did that 2 times now, she did on 2007 she want to find her way for life (find other man), and we back normal to our relation and now look what she is doing to me...

this is the message that she sent me:

" salam i wanted to let u know that this is not work out with our marriage i have decided to work thjngs out with my ex boyfirend i am not gonna continue with the stress sorry but this is how i feel so plz don't call me anymore well i this is not working out with u there and me here so i will be filing soon and sending u the papers soon"

so i wrote this topic for discuss about our problem and thanks.

[NOandJO 0]

THE REASON WHY I AM FRUSTERATED IN THIS MARRIAGE IS CUZ I OFFERED TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING HERE IN USA TO GO AND LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND IN MOROCCO BUT HE DID NOT WANT THAT HE TOLD ME NO!!! HE JUST WANTS TO CVOME TO USA WITH ME AND I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENS IF HE CAN NOT COME HERE AND HE SAID THAT WE WILL HAVE TO LIVE APART AND STILL BE MARRIED I JUST CAN NOT LIVE THAT WAY. AND I HAVE ASKED HIM SEVERAL TIMES TO GET A JOB AND HELP ME OUT BUT HE SAID NO HE CAN'T DO THAT HE EXPECTS ME TO DO ALL THIS ALL ON MY OWN WE ARE ALSO FIGHTING ALL THE TIME AND THAT IS TOO STRESSFUL ON ME SO WHAT DO I DO I CAN NOT DO??

Divorce. That is the only solution for you guys...

NOandJO

[nunyab 0]

THE REASON WHY I AM FRUSTERATED IN THIS MARRIAGE IS CUZ I OFFERED TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING HERE IN USA TO GO AND LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND IN MOROCCO BUT HE DID NOT WANT THAT HE TOLD ME NO!!! HE JUST WANTS TO CVOME TO USA WITH ME AND I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENS IF HE CAN NOT COME HERE AND HE SAID THAT WE WILL HAVE TO LIVE APART AND STILL BE MARRIED I JUST CAN NOT LIVE THAT WAY. AND I HAVE ASKED HIM SEVERAL TIMES TO GET A JOB AND HELP ME OUT BUT HE SAID NO HE CAN'T DO THAT HE EXPECTS ME TO DO ALL THIS ALL ON MY OWN WE ARE ALSO FIGHTING ALL THE TIME AND THAT IS TOO STRESSFUL ON ME SO WHAT DO I DO I CAN NOT DO??

Hi Araba... well there are always two sides to every story.... I don't believe in "siding" this is between you and your husband. I too am married to a MOroccan... he didn't want me to move there with him for a variety of reasons that can I say Pissed me off. However in time I realized what he was saying as much as I didn't like it I understood his point.

fast forward.. my husband now is working in Spain and is working on an option in case the application doesn't go through and I will move to Spain to be with him insha'allah if/when it is necessary. I am not sure the sitation but are you aware how very difficult it is to get a job there??? For my husband when he did have one it paid very little and he has two degrees!

Please feel free to PM me... not sure how much I can help but at least I can lend an ear and a shoulder.

[MsZ 6]

Does he refuse to get a job or can he not find work? Do you believe he is lying to you about what he can and cannot do?

And what about this other man you've thrown in his face? How is that helping matters?

You married him. You knew the immigration process was daunting. You've accepted responsibility for yourself in this process. Nobody forced you into marriage, did they? Nobody forced you to submit an I-130. So you are where you put yourself. And you need to think about things realistically.

What is the backup plan if his moving to the US is out? You have to have a backup plan. Living apart indefinitely is unworkable for most people. So there has to be a Plan B.

But the bottom line is that you are punishing him now for something that hasn't happened and may never happen. You can "what if" one another to death and never get anywhere. It is realistic to want a Plan B in your back pocket. But flipping out over it doesn't help. And you could always divorce him later if he's denied and there is no chance of a Plan B that works for you both. Divorcing him now over "what ifs" is a huge overreaction.

So what I'm sensing is that you really have doubts about him as a husband in general. Is that the case? If it is, it isn't easy, but there are online marriage counselors and you might want to try to find one that would work with you via phone and internet. You have both logistical and emotional issues to deal with. And dealing with them now would be much better than waiting. And it might provide some clarity for you.

You've been through a divorce before and you know it isn't fun or cheap or easy. Past that, it'd make you a two-time loser (which is what I would be if I didn't last in my current marriage so please don't take offense.) Who wants to be a two-time loser? Try to break down your problem into discrete issues and address them in some kind of priority order. Use a therapist to help you clarify what you want and to help you to avoid injecting more emotion into a situation than it warrants. I think you owe it to yourself above all else to try to make this work. At least then you could say that you really tried your best and that you know beyond all else that the marriage simply could not last.

Good luck to you both.

[bhajishah 4]

Mornmph same as with women in your country. Brother and yes Salams. Gas azz grass NOBODY rides for free. what are you a man ####### help your wife out. quit whining because you not gettting paid for what you need. be grown up azzz mulim man. and dont talk about your wife dpn meds and etc mental. does that make you feel better to put her down publically. Where is your heart with your wife and ALLAH??????

[bhajishah 4]

ARABA get an annullment and set this child loose. find a grown azz muslim man. go towards Jordan, Iraq, Pakistan, and maybe even egypt. stay away all points south....players mind and body

[MaxOnline 0]

Divorce her... she's NO good!

[mormp3 0]

ARABA get an annullment and set this child loose. find a grown azz muslim man. go towards Jordan, Iraq, Pakistan, and maybe even egypt. stay away all points south....players mind and body

*******************************

we started our process before and normal without problem about it (help)

in concerning the help, or can't find job, she not understood me or she not want to understand, i am graduating good diploma like Technician specialized in the management companies/entreprises here, but it is hard to find job like that kind of diploma, other job or normal job here isn't enought to help her to go to the inteview in SF for do a standard interview for take bus+hotel, i told her to save 50$ per month then it won't any problem and she says i can't i want u to help me and i have bills to pay

[nunyab 0]

Mornmph same as with women in your country. Brother and yes Salams. Gas azz grass NOBODY rides for free. what are you a man ####### help your wife out. quit whining because you not gettting paid for what you need. be grown up azzz mulim man. and dont talk about your wife dpn meds and etc mental. does that make you feel better to put her down publically. Where is your heart with your wife and ALLAH??????

Salams... we are told not to do this, by dishonoring your wife publically it does dishonor to you. I understand how hard it is to find a job and a job that pays well is even harder. However I agree take one thing at a time, pray and do your best. Even if you have a job that pays little is better than nothing at all. I think you two should take this off line and sit down and talk this alll out between you too and have a plan of action. Either way you two are going to have to talk so do it now and try to stay calm.

[caybee 21]

ARABA get an annullment and set this child loose. find a grown azz muslim man. go towards Jordan, Iraq, Pakistan, and maybe even egypt. stay away all points south....players mind and body

*******************************

we started our process before and normal without problem about it (help)

in concerning the help, or can't find job, she not understood me or she not want to understand, i am graduating good diploma like Technician specialized in the management companies/entreprises here, but it is hard to find job like that kind of diploma, other job or normal job here isn't enought to help her to go to the inteview in SF for do a standard interview for take bus+hotel, i told her to save 50$ per month then it won't any problem and she says i can't i want u to help me and i have bills to pay

Do you mean your USC wife needs to go to San Francisco for an interview, or where is SF? What kind of interview is this?

[caybee 21]

ARABA get an annullment and set this child loose. find a grown azz muslim man. go towards Jordan, Iraq, Pakistan, and maybe even egypt. stay away all points south....players mind and body

*******************************

we started our process before and normal without problem about it (help)

in concerning the help, or can't find job, she not understood me or she not want to understand, i am graduating good diploma like Technician specialized in the management companies/entreprises here, but it is hard to find job like that kind of diploma, other job or normal job here isn't enought to help her to go to the inteview in SF for do a standard interview for take bus+hotel, i told her to save 50$ per month then it won't any problem and she says i can't i want u to help me and i have bills to pay

Do you mean your USC wife needs to go to San Francisco for an interview, or where is SF? What kind of interview is this?

Based on mormp3's timeline and signature and what they both have posted, he is still in Morocco, and he is waiting to be scheduled for his interview in Casablanca. His wife would not have an interview in San Francisco. Or am I completely confused?

[Jenn! 918]

ARABA get an annullment and set this child loose. find a grown azz muslim man. go towards Jordan, Iraq, Pakistan, and maybe even egypt. stay away all points south....players mind and body

*******************************

we started our process before and normal without problem about it (help)

in concerning the help, or can't find job, she not understood me or she not want to understand, i am graduating good diploma like Technician specialized in the management companies/entreprises here, but it is hard to find job like that kind of diploma, other job or normal job here isn't enought to help her to go to the inteview in SF for do a standard interview for take bus+hotel, i told her to save 50$ per month then it won't any problem and she says i can't i want u to help me and i have bills to pay

Do you mean your USC wife needs to go to San Francisco for an interview, or where is SF? What kind of interview is this?

Based on mormp3's timeline and signature and what they both have posted, he is still in Morocco, and he is waiting to be scheduled for his interview in Casablanca. His wife would not have an interview in San Francisco. Or am I completely confused?

I may be wrong, but I think that they mistakenly believe that the petitioner will have a separate interview stateside for the I-130.

[kishmar 0]

ARABA get an annullment and set this child loose. find a grown azz muslim man. go towards Jordan, Iraq, Pakistan, and maybe even egypt. stay away all points south....players mind and body

*******************************

we started our process before and normal without problem about it (help)

in concerning the help, or can't find job, she not understood me or she not want to understand, i am graduating good diploma like Technician specialized in the management companies/entreprises here, but it is hard to find job like that kind of diploma, other job or normal job here isn't enought to help her to go to the inteview in SF for do a standard interview for take bus+hotel, i told her to save 50$ per month then it won't any problem and she says i can't i want u to help me and i have bills to pay

Do you mean your USC wife needs to go to San Francisco for an interview, or where is SF? What kind of interview is this?

Based on mormp3's timeline and signature and what they both have posted, he is still in Morocco, and he is waiting to be scheduled for his interview in Casablanca. His wife would not have an interview in San Francisco. Or am I completely confused?

Me toooo im completely lost! but whatever the situation i dont think it is for a public forum as this....they should try to work it out probably with professional help.

All the best to both of them

[Nutty 2]

Araba and MORMP3.....

After reading some of the posts from both sides I see neither of you is completely right or wrong.

The process of immigration is stressful.

MORMP3, being a new immigrant in USA is not easy. Don't think that when you come to USA you will find a job right away and make lots of money. More than likely you will work very hard and make just enough to pay for your apartment and food. Often immigrants think that they will makes lots of money to spend as they wish, but what they don't realize everything in USA is expensive in comparison to their life back in their home country. Especially in California.

Araba, do not get frustrated if your husband does not send you money. I see where he said that even if he was denied a greencard and could not come to USA he would not give up on his marriage to you. That is good sign. However, he should have some idea of a place where you can live as man and wife.

MORMP3,

If you can not get greencard, then where do you intend to live with you wife? This is for you to suggest.