My wife get frustrated from waiting and want to divorce

[mormp3 0]

she is using her meds about depress and mental

[gogo 6]

no, I just go cut my hair.. then I show her that I got a haircut.. and she says "yay" :dance: (this is all on the webcam too).. seriously, if you do something she doesn't like, she will get mad.. try to think of it in her shoes.. why she feels that way.. maybe you and her can agree on something to do with your hair.. but to tell you the truth, that's a big argument coming from a small one.. it is not worth it.. especially when you are still on this rough visa journey together.. besides, you can argue so much later too , hehe.. there's better things to do now than argue..

Edited July 14, 2008 by gogo

[daisychain 0]

i almost forgot that i'm in the company of the likes of me, starved for affection from the love of their lives half a world away. i should be careful about my unsuspecting innuendos. hehehe.

I want some "lip service" from my wife..

mmorp3, your wife's behavior is a conundrum. she goes berserk over your hair, wielding power over you as if you were a puppet to her every whim and yet she wants to divorce you? hmm.. but then again, maybe little things set her off because she's getting increasingly frustrated with the situation. *sigh* i think you'd have better luck unearthing the lost atlantis than figuring her out....

[kishmar 0]

hello JV members

we got married on 21, january 2007, and our process still waiting to shedulde an appointment for a standard interview for the petitioner in SF california, my wife get sad and she thought all the time from waiting is just like time wasted from her life....!!

and our process need just some patience to done , 13 months and we are waiting (california service center).

and also she says that her income not let her to continue our process and want me to help her for get her ticket plane like +2000$ and money for her to get transport to go to SF... and last night she sent me email told me that not call her anymore and want to file divorce soon and want to back to her ex-boyfriend...she did that 2 times now, she did on 2007 she want to find her way for life (find other man), and we back normal to our relation and now look what she is doing to me...

this is the message that she sent me:

" salam i wanted to let u know that this is not work out with our marriage i have decided to work thjngs out with my ex boyfirend i am not gonna continue with the stress sorry but this is how i feel so plz don't call me anymore well i this is not working out with u there and me here so i will be filing soon and sending u the papers soon"

so i wrote this topic for discuss about our problem and thanks.

Im so sorry for your lost and how you must be feeling right now. Words i know wont be able to explain.

All i can say is maybe its for the best...this is not the first time she did this to you so may be this is the red flag that says.....move on.....

you are in my prayers,

[Waiting4Wifey 0]

I'm sorry to hear your situation my man. I have some experience with woman and I can tell you she has alterior motives possibly getting a green card or just to come to america. So you need to figure out maybe divorce is the right option you can not beg someone to be with you especially if she's always threatning you to be with other boyfriends. Doesn't look like shes a keeper. Don't get played man just trying to look out for you

[Paris' Husband 0]

I'm sorry to hear your situation my man. I have some experience with woman and I can tell you she has alterior motives possibly getting a green card or just to come to america. So you need to figure out maybe divorce is the right option you can not beg someone to be with you especially if she's always threatning you to be with other boyfriends. Doesn't look like shes a keeper. Don't get played man just trying to look out for you

You mentioned she said this waiting is a waste of time??/ Waste of time??, its not a waste of time when your going to spend the rest of your life together, we all wait for approvals, but its never a waste of time. When Paris Heart and I cancelled our petitions, words flew back and forth, but nothing was ever mentioned of divorce or one of us returning to a EX BF or GF. We knew we will spend our life together as soon as we get over this hurdle. Im sorry but I think she is playing games with you, and no heart is built for game playing. I wish you the best. True love get you through anything.

[gogo 6]

hi Paris' husband :jest:

Edited July 14, 2008 by gogo

[Paris' Husband 0]

hi Paris' husband :jest:

Hey GoGo, Paris has mentioned you and your situation, I've read some your your postings to each other, and my heart also goes out to you.

You hand in there , you and your wife know its worth the wait , true love always is worth the wait.

[gogo 6]

Thanks Paris_Husband, I hope that your "problem" isn't really a big one and that you guys can get it solved.. You guys will be together soon enough.. You might even get approved ahead of me..

Edited July 14, 2008 by gogo

[rmncm 0]

hello JV members

we got married on 21, january 2007, and our process still waiting to shedulde an appointment for a standard interview for the petitioner in SF california, my wife get sad and she thought all the time from waiting is just like time wasted from her life....!!

and our process need just some patience to done , 13 months and we are waiting (california service center).

and also she says that her income not let her to continue our process and want me to help her for get her ticket plane like +2000$ and money for her to get transport to go to SF... and last night she sent me email told me that not call her anymore and want to file divorce soon and want to back to her ex-boyfriend...she did that 2 times now, she did on 2007 she want to find her way for life (find other man), and we back normal to our relation and now look what she is doing to me...

this is the message that she sent me:

" salam i wanted to let u know that this is not work out with our marriage i have decided to work thjngs out with my ex boyfirend i am not gonna continue with the stress sorry but this is how i feel so plz don't call me anymore well i this is not working out with u there and me here so i will be filing soon and sending u the papers soon"

so i wrote this topic for discuss about our problem and thanks.

[/quot

Man I am sorry that you are in such a crappy situation. But man you should lose her. It will hurt like hell but in the long run you will be better off. From what it sounds like she is just after the magical green card.

I'm going to state the obvious here. She sound very unstable, very controlling and worst of all a green card digger. Whats not to say once she comes here and gets a green card that she wont up and leave you and with the affidavite of support you filled out, you will be financally responsable for her fow how many years. Then if you have kids it will be a double wammy. I know it is going to be a hard choice you have to make but sometimes you need to use the thing that is between your ears and not the thing that pumps blood through your body.

Good luck in your descission.

[Nita&Assaad 0]

Hi Mormp3 you know my husband also gets very depress and stress about being away from each other, we haven't seen each other in 1 year and 6 months, this is a very long time and we been married over 2 years now.... Yet we are commited and more in love then ever before.. And we work on our marriage everyday....Pehaps, your wife is maybe using excuse about you cutting your hair to get mad at you and want to leave you... Seems she is playing games with you

she is using her meds about depress and mental

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I'm sorry to hear your situation my man. I have some experience with woman and I can tell you she has alterior motives possibly getting a green card or just to come to america. So you need to figure out maybe divorce is the right option you can not beg someone to be with you especially if she's always threatning you to be with other boyfriends. Doesn't look like shes a keeper. Don't get played man just trying to look out for you

You mentioned she said this waiting is a waste of time??/ Waste of time??, its not a waste of time when your going to spend the rest of your life together, we all wait for approvals, but its never a waste of time. When Paris Heart and I cancelled our petitions, words flew back and forth, but nothing was ever mentioned of divorce or one of us returning to a EX BF or GF. We knew we will spend our life together as soon as we get over this hurdle. Im sorry but I think she is playing games with you, and no heart is built for game playing. I wish you the best. True love get you through anything.

I concure!

[mormp3 0]

and she just back from morocco 2 months now, we were together without problem, spending time together, more happier,

we are talking everyday and evernight, chat+cam+mic with long time per day and sometimes i am calling her.

[MsZ 6]

and she just back from morocco 2 months now, we were together without problem, spending time together, more happier,

we are talking everyday and evernight, chat+cam+mic with long time per day and sometimes i am calling her.

It is good that you give her time. But apparently that isn't enough for her.

OTOH, her getting what I'd call, over-the-top insane about a haircut is another major red flag.

Do you really want to spend your life with someone you have to ask for permission to get a haircut? Would she have to go with you to approve the styling as well? It certainly sounds like it.

If she went as far as filing a month after you were married over something as trivial as a haircut, it seems to me that she was looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage. And, she continues to do so. Whether the reason is that she has a depressive problem is immaterial, really. Her behavior is about choice. Her depression may drive her to feel bad about things, but her actions are a matter of a decision process that indicates that she is not able to handle the reality of "we" over "me".

I wonder how many other situations that have occured make you worry about her behavior toward you. How many other issues of control have occured? How many other ways has she tried to make you feel insecure? How many other off-the-wall behaviors have you experienced with her?

And I guess the other question is, how much time have you two spent in person? How long can she maintain what you'd consider to be "good behavior"?

The truth is, the past has this habit of repeating itself when it comes to human behavior unless the individual takes direct step to deal with their own problems. I'd suggest therapy for her and a guarded response from you for the some time. I certainly wouldn't trust her with my heart. And any more of these outbursts and I'd say "adios" to her as she's just not in any condition to be a wife in a long-term relationship.

As for giving up on the process, yeah, I've considered it. The alternative would be for me to move to Canada. It is certainly less desirable for me than him coming here, but I'd do it because the marriage is more important than my desire to stay in the US. And anyway, I believe that the immigration process is basically an excuse given because people can understand it when the reality is, the breakup is for much more serious and personal reasons. I know if my husband and I broke up after being in this process for a couple of years it wouldn't be because we couldn't deal with the wait. It'd be because we didn't see the marriage as worth the wait. And I think that's a fine but important distinction.

[nunyab 0]

interesting is what I have to say.... I think she is at her wits end... the hair cut thing bothers me some. There are obviously other things happening here. Am I understanding you're in Morocco and she is the USC???? or is it the other way around?

I suggest for your peace of mind pray if you don't pray, meditate if you don't mediate, go for a run... anything just do something it will only get harder the more you stare at the computer banging your head on it. In time your true path will be revealed whatever it may be. Best to you.