When A Member Posts a Personal Thread

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Sometimes it does get a bit personal but sometimes they have no one else to talke to i think and there is a difference is stateing something they are having a prob with as a way for them to work it out within themselves vs saying hey guys i have this prob can someone give me some ideas of help...i believe when you really want help you will ask for it, then of course you will always get varied opinions both good and bad

[LoriLawless 0]

When you post, you have to keep in mind that other people have different opinions.

I think most of the problem is due to being sensitive, I have pretty thick skin, so anything Platy might say won't bother me.

I also don't post personal stuff, I either deal with it, or I look up information.

I don't like my personal issues on the Internetz.

[PlatyPius 5]

VJ isn't the place I'd post really personal stuff. My own board, in the "protected" forum, yes. VJ? No. The best ones though, are the ones where one person posts about their SO and how much they annoy them, abuse them, ignore them, or whatever. Then the SO turns up and says "Wot?" If it's in certain forums, and the OP is female, all of the women will have posted saying what a scum the husband is, how it's all his fault, and how she needs to "empower" herself and "take control". If the man then joins and tries to defend himself, he's dismembered by a pack of ravenous felines. When I read those, I often wonder..... How many of those fights/posts were started because the guy did something like forget to pick up the milk from the store that day?

Edited July 14, 2008 by PlatyPius

[Jenn! 918]

How many of those fights/posts were started because the guy did something like forget to pick up the milk from the store that day?

Wow. You say that as if it's no big deal.

Unforgivable.

[Mags 112]

[brnidokiegurl 0]

How many of those fights/posts were started because the guy did something like forget to pick up the milk from the store that day?

Wow. You say that as if it's no big deal.

Unforgivable.

maybe experience talking

[Marilyn. 340]

I have posted personal stuff here in the past and I usually get good support from my fellow VJer's....

I don't really have any IRL friends so you guys are all I got

[almaty 19]

respect..unless a troll........

[DairyFarmer 1]

I said earlier if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

I guess I should have maybe add "something constructive to say".

Answers don't have to be happy-happy fluffy just respectful.

[chri'stina 190]

Platy-I agree about when someone comes on to complain about their SO, especially about a silly thing, and then that OP shows up wondering. It's slippery ground if you do that!!!

In a case like what I guess inspired this thread, some things are more easily related to on a place like VJ with all international couples. So while I may not get deep into my personal issues, some people have no one else that can hear about a problem they are having b/c of their cross cultural relationship. Of course you will get all different opinions and that should be expected. I have given my opinions on many things but I try to do it in a way that doesn't make the OP feel stupid or insulted even if I don't agree with them.

[bora bora 1]

People deserve respect.

I don't post anything really personal, though I have made comments about how I missed my (then bf) husband while we were apart. But I understand that some people want to hear from others who may be in similar experiences and/or who may be more objective since they don't live with them. VJ is good for that. I do "see" a lot of support in the "moving to the US" forum.

I'm a female USC/regular poster.

[DARUMA07 25]

Male USC/Regular Poster

I won't post personal issues, but I try to have a listening ear to someone that has a issue.... When the day comes that I can't have empathy for other posters here, then it will be time for me to move on and leave VJ.. I think sometimes we forget what this site is all about.... Family and Immigration.........

[jundp 191]

No and yes...I have written threads in the past feeling bummed out when Sujeet and I were separated and people were supportive and shared how they felt too. I have vented in threads too about personal situations. Some things though, I wouldn't bring up on VJ.

While OPs deserve respect from fellow Vjers, I wouldn't trust all of VJ enough to write a very personal topic since I see how they turn out a lot of the time.

Exactly, Stina. Well, except I've been bummed out about Patrick and not Sujeet Everything else you said, I agree 100%

[keltic 1]

They deserve respect from fellow VJ'ers

Female - regular poster and USC

Everyone deserves respect, that includes respect for their diversity. For the folks who don't understand why someone would seek personal advice and support - you don't have to understand. If it meets someone's need to seek emotional support online, let them do it. You can't change their needs. You can attribute it to whatever reason you like, weakness, stupidity, whatever (these are reasons I have seen as speculations). It doesn't matter. Just leave them and their threads alone. Noone is going to make you post your personal issues or try to change your mind about it.

[HighwayStar 0]

They deserve respect from fellow VJ's, because everyone deserves respect. That's how I see life anyway.

Female - regular poster/foreign spouse (actually fiancée).

No - if I want advice on personal issues, I'll post on other, dedicated forums, or just keep the issue to myself.