When A Member Posts a Personal Thread

[one...two...tree 2,762]

[Nagishkaw 510]

VJ is not the place to find advice and support for personal issues.

Female - regular poster and USC.

No.

[DairyFarmer 1]

I think all people deserve respect from fellow VJ'ers.

There are times when it feels like there is no-one to turn to. VJ always seems to have someone going through the same thing I am and I have derived knowledge / comfort / support from posting.

I feel if you can't have empathy for another humanbeing don't post anything. The old adage if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

Female - regular poster and Foreign Spouse

Yes (especially when having a bad day)

[Zee Bee 61]

They deserve respect (but don't be surprised if some people are going to be critical).

Female, regular poster, USC.

Yes.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I feel if you can't have empathy for another humanbeing don't post anything. The old adage if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

I agree. And I've read posts and thought what the ...... and just moved on. You don't HAVE to post a response, especially when you're just going to say something nasty. A little self control is always nice.

[PlatyPius 5]

If someone posts asking for an opinion, I am going to give them my opinion whether it's one they would like or not. I would expect the same in return.

I've never understood the "say something nice or shut up" saying. Who has the right to tell me what I can and can't say? Why are only happy-happy-fluffy-fluffy replies allowed? How does that help the OP? Phuck happy-happy...

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Phuck happy-happy...

I saw that once on a Vietnamese menu.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

If someone posts asking for an opinion, I am going to give them my opinion whether it's one they would like or not. I would expect the same in return.

I've never understood the "say something nice or shut up" saying. Who has the right to tell me what I can and can't say? Why are only happy-happy-fluffy-fluffy replies allowed? How does that help the OP? Phuck happy-happy...

I find a difference between a reply that's nasty and hurtful and totally unhelpful, and one that is intended to respond to the question though perhaps not the desired answer of the OP.

For example: Should I leave my husband?

A1: Yes, you should leave your husband and protect yourself?

A2: No, work harder to make your marraige work and commit to being married.

A3: You're a ####### and an idiot for asking this question.

Even if you're thinking three, you don't have to type it.

[chri'stina 190]

They deserve respect from fellow VJers...

Female regular poster USC

No and yes...I have written threads in the past feeling bummed out when Sujeet and I were separated and people were supportive and shared how they felt too. I have vented in threads too about personal situations. Some things though, I wouldn't bring up on VJ.

While OPs deserve respect from fellow Vjers, I wouldn't trust all of VJ enough to write a very personal topic since I see how they turn out a lot of the time.

Steven your member thing says it best:

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy

(and some people don't care if they make enemies so their posts in those situations should just be ignored)

[Sassy1natl 0]

If someone posts asking for an opinion, I am going to give them my opinion whether it's one they would like or not. I would expect the same in return.

I've never understood the "say something nice or shut up" saying. Who has the right to tell me what I can and can't say? Why are only happy-happy-fluffy-fluffy replies allowed? How does that help the OP? Phuck happy-happy...

I find a difference between a reply that's nasty and hurtful and totally unhelpful, and one that is intended to respond to the question though perhaps not the desired answer of the OP.

For example: Should I leave my husband?

A1: Yes, you should leave your husband and protect yourself?

A2: No, work harder to make your marraige work and commit to being married.

A3: You're a ####### and an idiot for asking this question.

Even if you're thinking three, you don't have to type it.

(I'm sorry. I giggled when I read "A3". I dont believe I have EVER wanted to call anyone a "#######". Except maybe my ex. But he was more of a sh!t)

edited to remove: removed "lol". He seriously was a sh!t.

Edited July 14, 2008 by sassy1natl

[Jenn! 918]

I think people *should* be able to give an honest opinion with a certain amount of tact - it's just a matter of not being socially, um...slow.

But that will NEVER happen. Seriously, if I could magically make people IRL stop being a$$hats, that would be great too. Not going to happen!

I've posted this here before, but I like it, so I'm gonna post again!

Here is a conversation with people in the real world:

Me: I went to Mel's Diner the other night and got the fish sandwich. They put mayo on it, which I thought was gross.

My Friend: Really? You don't like that? That's one of my favorites. I like their fries, too.

Me: Oh yeah. The thick-cut ones? Those are good.

My Friend: Good times, good times.

Now the same conversation, on the internet:

Me: I went to Mel's Diner the other night and got the fish sandwich. They put mayo on it, which I thought was gross.

Commenter#1: I can't believe you don't like the mayo you must be retarded.

Commenter#2: Why would you forbid them from putting mayo on things! Are you some kind of fascist?!?!

Commenter#3: I would have taken that sandwich and shoved it in the waitress' face if she was ever stupid enough to do that to me!

Commenter#4: It was tartar sauce you dumbass.

Commenter#5: You're wrong. The mayo is what makes that sandwich great. If you're not smart enough to realize that maybe you should stick with McDonalds!

Commenter#6: Then don't eat it. DUH! Nobody had a gun to your head.

Commenter#7: If you bothered to learn about other culture's you would realise that not everyone likes the same thing you do in other countrys they put mayo on all kind of things dont be so closed minded.

[PlatyPius 5]

Me: I went to Mel's Diner the other night and got the fish sandwich. They put mayo on it, which I thought was gross.

Commenter#1: I can't believe you don't like the mayo you must be retarded.

Commenter#2: Why would you forbid them from putting mayo on things! Are you some kind of fascist?!?!

Commenter#3: I would have taken that sandwich and shoved it in the waitress' face if she was ever stupid enough to do that to me!

Commenter#4: It was tartar sauce you dumbass.

Commenter#5: You're wrong. The mayo is what makes that sandwich great. If you're not smart enough to realize that maybe you should stick with McDonalds!

Commenter#6: Then don't eat it. DUH! Nobody had a gun to your head.

Commenter#7: If you bothered to learn about other culture's you would realise that not everyone likes the same thing you do in other countrys they put mayo on all kind of things dont be so closed minded.

Platy sees himself having written #4.....

[trailmix 77]

If someone posts asking for an opinion, I am going to give them my opinion whether it's one they would like or not. I would expect the same in return.

I've never understood the "say something nice or shut up" saying. Who has the right to tell me what I can and can't say? Why are only happy-happy-fluffy-fluffy replies allowed? How does that help the OP? Phuck happy-happy...

I agree that the reply doesn't always have to be fluffy fluffy (and my cat thanks you for mentioning her name )

However it's about intent. What I see is that a responder is having a bad day and therefore decides to vent their frustration on the OP by implying they are stupid etc etc instead of offering any kind of helpful advice.

Or they are tired of typing out the same response to a question that has been asked before - so take a dig at the OP.

That kind of stuff is unwarranted, I think.

[Jenn! 918]

Me: I went to Mel's Diner the other night and got the fish sandwich. They put mayo on it, which I thought was gross.

Commenter#1: I can't believe you don't like the mayo you must be retarded.

Commenter#2: Why would you forbid them from putting mayo on things! Are you some kind of fascist?!?!

Commenter#3: I would have taken that sandwich and shoved it in the waitress' face if she was ever stupid enough to do that to me!

Commenter#4: It was tartar sauce you dumbass.

Commenter#5: You're wrong. The mayo is what makes that sandwich great. If you're not smart enough to realize that maybe you should stick with McDonalds!

Commenter#6: Then don't eat it. DUH! Nobody had a gun to your head.

Commenter#7: If you bothered to learn about other culture's you would realise that not everyone likes the same thing you do in other countrys they put mayo on all kind of things dont be so closed minded.

Platy sees himself having written #4.....

Yeah, that sounds about right. I bet we could come up with the model poster for each one of those responses...

[Sister Fracas 5]

I've posted this here before, but I like it, so I'm gonna post again!

Good stuff! LOL And soooo true.

I'd never ask for very personal advice on VJ. I kinda don't understand when people do.