Showing Tact in Personal Threads

[no name 1]

Just go to the mall, walk up to the first person you see for advice and spill your guts! Its quite normal really.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I'll take one of those donuts, Amby.

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

ruh roh... I shouldn't talk aboot hubster throwing his dirty undies on the floor...

your husband wears undies?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

ruh roh... I shouldn't talk aboot hubster throwing his dirty undies on the floor...

your husband wears undies?

That reminds me, when my wife started her job at the school, among the materials she got from the school administrative office was a document titled "dress code" - it stated clearly that all teachers were required to wear underwear I can't imagine (well, yes I can) the circumstances that led to the need to explicitly spell that out!

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I guess it means that the Sharon-Stone leg-crossing move, as a means to get the classes attention and regain order is probably a no-no...

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I guess it means that the Sharon-Stone leg-crossing move, as a means to get the classes attention and regain order is probably a no-no...

[Sister Fracas 5]

ruh roh... I shouldn't talk aboot hubster throwing his dirty undies on the floor...

your husband wears undies?

well he doesn't wear panties... silly!

[no name 1]

I think people should be a little wary of being too specific on the internet with personal problems. This is an open forum and we are not psychiatrists/psycologists or counsellors.

People with the issues that are sensitive should be seeking help from a specialist because any responses they recieve on this type of forum will at best give the OP a little temporary relief and at worst make things far worse. They are going to be feeling negative or angry or frustrated and an online discussion is not going to do anything that will alleviate these feelings, particularly because not everyone is going to sympathize with whatever the OP's problem are.

While I agree that the annonymity is comparable with visiting a councellor, the advice/information given is really not.

Well this is true too - but I think part of the motivation esp. from the foreign spouse in this regard is not having too many friends to rely on to talk to if there are problems. After all once you move to this country you more or less give up on day to day contact with your friends and relatives. I've certainly found it hard - in both CA and NJ to establish a new social circle. Its not easy - especially when you hit your 30's... I can quite understand falling back on social networks like this one in lieu of that - after all people do form connections here, even in those formed over the internet are vague and somewhat nebulous.

Clearly there are risks with doing this. Yes you will probably make an existing problem worse if your spouse discovers that you've been publishing personal information over the internet discussing "private" things with strangers. Yes it provides validation to momentary anger - but sometimes venting is all that people want. At the end of the day our favourite cliche phrase "personal responsibility" has to come into play somewhere.

On VJ?!?! This is a place where you hang all your dirty laundry out for people to see, both truth & fiction....

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

At the end of the day people can decide to do that or not. Just as people can decide to ridicule them for it. Or not.

[no name 1]

At the end of the day people can decide to do that or not.

People *DO* do it, weekly, if not daily....

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

At the end of the day people can decide to do that or not.

People *DO* do it, weekly, if not daily....

So what? Its a public forum - they have that choice.

[chri'stina 190]

At the end of the day people can decide to do that or not.

People *DO* do it, weekly, if not daily....

So what? Its a public forum - they have that choice.

[no name 1]

At the end of the day people can decide to do that or not.

People *DO* do it, weekly, if not daily....

So what? Its a public forum - they have that choice.

Um, I'm well aware.

But they can't expect all sunshine & rainbows blown up it, either. It's their can of worms they opened....

[Marilyn. 340]

geez, what is with the sunshine and rainbows shtick... ? I don't think anybody here expects sunshine and rainbows all the time ...

why does it have to be one way or the other.... mean and rude or sunshine and rainbows?? where is the middle ground...??

there is a way to tell people the truth without coming off all mean etc...

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

At the end of the day people can decide to do that or not.

People *DO* do it, weekly, if not daily....

So what? Its a public forum - they have that choice.

Um, I'm well aware.

But they can't expect all sunshine & rainbows blown up it, either. It's their can of worms they opened....

There's nothing wrong with what Steven is saying. When it comes to jeering at and and ridiculing people who are seeking honest advice that seems a little "off" to me.