Showing Tact in Personal Threads

[Marilyn. 340]

Then you should find many many freinds at the mall!

huh?

I haven't known the people at the mall for over 4 years

You know the ppl here, only as much as they choose to let you know.

and I do the same thing.. your point is???

even if you have friends IRL you only know them as much as they want you too...

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Then you should find many many freinds at the mall!

huh?

I haven't known the people at the mall for over 4 years

You know the ppl here, only as much as they choose to let you know.

and I do the same thing.. your point is???

Forget it

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Just go to the mall, walk up to the first person you see for advice and spill your guts! Its quite normal really.

Its not that strange to be honest - when people seek out professional therapy they are essentially going to spill their guts to a total stranger.

I think some people believe that they have a relative degree of anonymity on the web, and indeed you do, or that they can share things with strangers "risk-free" without having to deal with the baggage of talking about the same problems to friends and family.

[Sister Fracas 5]

ruh roh... I shouldn't talk aboot hubster throwing his dirty undies on the floor...

[Marilyn. 340]

ruh roh... I shouldn't talk aboot hubster throwing his dirty undies on the floor...

for shame ... tsk tsk

[Peikko 1,575]

I think people should be a little wary of being too specific on the internet with personal problems. This is an open forum and we are not psychiatrists/psycologists or counsellors.

People with the issues that are sensitive should be seeking help from a specialist because any responses they recieve on this type of forum will at best give the OP a little temporary relief and at worst make things far worse. They are going to be feeling negative or angry or frustrated and an online discussion is not going to do anything that will alleviate these feelings, particularly because not everyone is going to sympathize with whatever the OP's problem are.

While I agree that the annonymity is comparable with visiting a councellor, the advice/information given is really not.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... we are not psychiatrists/psycologists or counsellors.

Brother Dean will resemble that remark.......

[Sister Fracas 5]

Also, someone can get twelvety-five difference opinions, along with the insensitive comments and this is not what I'd imagine would be helpful.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Also, someone can get twelvety-five difference opinions, along with the insensitive comments and this is not what I'd imagine would be helpful.

Pay no attention to the crazy hippies behind the curtain....

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

There is one group that seems to always complain about there spouses and they get extremely angry if anyone dissagrees with them. I know they are looking for validation for their feelings but I agree a public forum is not the place to do this. I know I would feel extreme disrespect and dissapointment if my spouse was telling the world that we had problems or how much they hate certain things about me.

Edited July 14, 2008 by Gaby&Talbert

[Peikko 1,575]

There's a 'group' that do this? Say this isn't so!

[Amby 490]

I have donuts

[Sinergy 3]

what people don't realize that some of us consider people on VJ as friends...

I have been a part of VJ for 4 years now and I feel that way...

That is understandable....however, there are some ppl on here you dont concider friends, or you dont know who they are, and if your spilling your beans for the forum, its not just the friends that will read and comment, you get some #######'s as well.

[Marilyn. 340]

what people don't realize that some of us consider people on VJ as friends...

I have been a part of VJ for 4 years now and I feel that way...

That is understandable....however, there are some ppl on here you dont concider friends, or you dont know who they are, and if your spilling your beans for the forum, its not just the friends that will read and comment, you get some #######'s as well.

yeah I know and I usually don't start a whole new thread if there is something I want to share, I stick to the one or two threads I hang out in.. I do know that anybody can read it still but maybe by not as many people... *shrugs* and I usually don't share overly personal stuff anyways..

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I think people should be a little wary of being too specific on the internet with personal problems. This is an open forum and we are not psychiatrists/psycologists or counsellors.

People with the issues that are sensitive should be seeking help from a specialist because any responses they recieve on this type of forum will at best give the OP a little temporary relief and at worst make things far worse. They are going to be feeling negative or angry or frustrated and an online discussion is not going to do anything that will alleviate these feelings, particularly because not everyone is going to sympathize with whatever the OP's problem are.

While I agree that the annonymity is comparable with visiting a councellor, the advice/information given is really not.

Well this is true too - but I think part of the motivation esp. from the foreign spouse in this regard is not having too many friends to rely on to talk to if there are problems. After all once you move to this country you more or less give up on day to day contact with your friends and relatives. I've certainly found it hard - in both CA and NJ to establish a new social circle. Its not easy - especially when you hit your 30's... I can quite understand falling back on social networks like this one in lieu of that - after all people do form connections here, even in those formed over the internet are vague and somewhat nebulous.

Clearly there are risks with doing this. Yes you will probably make an existing problem worse if your spouse discovers that you've been publishing personal information over the internet discussing "private" things with strangers. Yes it provides validation to momentary anger - but sometimes venting is all that people want. At the end of the day our favourite cliche phrase "personal responsibility" has to come into play somewhere.