Showing Tact in Personal Threads

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Yes, but she has talked to her spouse multiple times and he doesn't. get. it. He doesn't care that they can't afford it. All he cares about is looking good from 6,000 miles away. If she wants to vent when she is on the verge of doing something drastic anyway, I am not going to begrudge her that.

She did say some things in that thread that I had remarkable self control in not responding to though. It seems entitlement goes both ways and I will leave it at that.

[ready4ONE 5,400]

I think the OP which is the basis for this thread, is a fairly serious and all too common issue for those of us who have married third world persons. She was not the first person on VJ to write about the issue of spouses sending money overseas to support family. I imagine it can crop up with spouses from anywhere.

It would be nice to see a bit more civility in threads that are clearly meant to be taken seriously.

[no name 1]

Well, sure, I agree with you, Dev. But what if the topic isn't about their spouse?

I know this is an internet forum, but I would still think that common decency should prevail.

I don't disagree with that. But you are familiar with VJ, no?

Anyone who asks for advice on a public message board opens up a can of worms, as Troll said.

I just can't believe people talk (badly) about their spouse so openly. What if the spouse were to stumble on it one day? Pi$$ed off wouldn't begin to cover it. And this isn't the first time that OP has aired her feelings about her spouse on VJ.

Edited July 14, 2008 by illumine

[Marilyn. 340]

it is not about just posting sunshine and rainbows... geez louise..

it is just about respecting people and like Steven said remembering that their are people on the other side of that computer screen..

[Sinergy 3]

Well, sure, I agree with you, Dev. But what if the topic isn't about their spouse?

I know this is an internet forum, but I would still think that common decency should prevail.

I don't disagree with that. But you are familiar with VJ, no?

Anyone who asks for advice on a public message board opens up a can of worms, as Troll said.

I just can't believe people talk (badly) about their spouse so openly. What if the spouse were to stumble on it one day? Pi$$ed off wouldn't begin to cover it.

That happened already....

I agree, id never talk bad about my husband on a public forum. I love and respect him way too much. If i had an issue about him id talk to him, and if i couldnt, id talk to someone i trust, IN PRIVATE.

[almaty 19]

sister dev., you are correct. sadly, some people do open a thread here, so they can feel good about themselves or at least right ...they get allot of validation from their orginal post and that their spouse is a chopf##k..

does it help the situation..no, they need to go to counseling

[no name 1]

Well, sure, I agree with you, Dev. But what if the topic isn't about their spouse?

I know this is an internet forum, but I would still think that common decency should prevail.

I don't disagree with that. But you are familiar with VJ, no?

Anyone who asks for advice on a public message board opens up a can of worms, as Troll said.

I just can't believe people talk (badly) about their spouse so openly. What if the spouse were to stumble on it one day? Pi$$ed off wouldn't begin to cover it.

That happened already....

I agree, id never talk bad about my husband on a public forum. I love and respect him way too much. If i had an issue about him id talk to him, and if i couldnt, id talk to someone i trust, IN PRIVATE.

Yes, and if I recall correctly, it was quite a different tune....

Edited July 14, 2008 by illumine

[eric&gen 0]

If they rather support there family overseas than make there family first here then they ought to go back home till they grow up. Cant do both unless your rich lol.

[SMOKE 1,426]

i think a lot of the problem. (not w/ the op of the example but in many cases) the recipient of short rude comments in a thread about personal issues, is themselves guilty of doing the same to others. some see it as an opportunity to jab/cut/slam back at the op if they feel they had taken a shot from the op in the past....we're not all angels like me.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Just go to the mall, walk up to the first person you see for advice and spill your guts! Its quite normal really.

[Marilyn. 340]

what people don't realize that some of us consider people on VJ as friends...

I have been a part of VJ for 4 years now and I feel that way...

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Then you should find many many freinds at the mall!

[Marilyn. 340]

Then you should find many many freinds at the mall!

huh?

I haven't known the people at the mall for over 4 years

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

If you go early in the morning and join the seniors on their powerwalks, you will!

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Then you should find many many freinds at the mall!

huh?

I haven't known the people at the mall for over 4 years

You know the ppl here, only as much as they choose to let you know.