Seriously Out of Control...

[brnidokiegurl 0]

be nice

[natty bumppo 297]

be nice

always ....

[Heracles 417]

Just curious,

Are you just naturally rude or do you have to practice?

Just curious, do none of you people ever sit down and discuss financial matters well before you said I DO or even think about money matters before getting married?

My husband sends too much money to his home country. He's done so, in fact, several times where we are not left enough to pay our own bills without overdraft from our credit card. The debt is piling up because he truly believes that his family back home will simply not survive without his monthly donations.

In the meantime, his own family here is under constant financial strain. Everytime this discussion comes up, he becomes ultra defensive and sometimes verbally insulting. He says, "It's a cultural thing...you don't understand..." Blah..blah..blah...

I think the guilt just eats him up. His family in Peru are always telling him how destitute they are. My question is: They survived just fine without his salary before, why can't they do it now?

It's getting worse and worse. We just had a baby and bought a house. Sending several hundred dollars a month to Peru just isn't an option anymore. But he simply won't hear it.

I might just lose my mind

While not worded in the best way it is a valid argument. I know I sat down with my wife prior to getting married and sorted out the finances.

In this case I think she needs to immediately separate the finances. While I do not agree with splitting finances in general, but considering the circumstances I think she needs to get the cash flow situation under control. She has a house and a baby. If #### was to hit the fan, the responsibility would ultimately fall on her shoulders. So I think she needs to protect herself and her child.

[MrsCat 6]

And I am being totally serious when I say this - if talking with him and he doesn't seem to get it, or understand that there are burdens in the USA - I would call or email Suze Orman. She rocks my world.

I am certain that she would talk some sense into your hubby!

[amiquechu 0]

And I am being totally serious when I say this - if talking with him and he doesn't seem to get it, or understand that there are burdens in the USA - I would call or email Suze Orman. She rocks my world.

I am certain that she would talk some sense into your hubby!

You're right. A lot of people don't want to hear what she has to say...but she tells it like it is. If you're a person in financial trouble, swallow your pride and do what Suze says.

[eric&gen 0]

Maybe the husband is a scammer he is sending the money back home to family then he will leave at right time loool. Drama drama drama save the DRAMA for your momma.

WOW, so rude Eric

Not my fault people like to bring personal problem out to the open world.

[amiquechu 0]

That really sucks! I understand his guilt feelings, but you aren't made of money. Unfortunately people in other countries believe that us in the US has money coming out of our ears.

I guess I would be serving Mac and cheese and ramen noodles for dinner, as well as shutting off all satellite/cable tv, cell phones, etc. I would make sure that there are not lights other than one on at a time. I think you get my drift. He needs to suffer some for his actions.

You haven't seen deciduous dollarus? a.k.a. the money tree...the US is one of the few countries with soil and climate conducive to supporting the growth of deciduous dollarus.

[natty bumppo 297]

That really sucks! I understand his guilt feelings, but you aren't made of money. Unfortunately people in other countries believe that us in the US has money coming out of our ears.

I guess I would be serving Mac and cheese and ramen noodles for dinner, as well as shutting off all satellite/cable tv, cell phones, etc. I would make sure that there are not lights other than one on at a time. I think you get my drift. He needs to suffer some for his actions.

You haven't seen deciduous dollarus? a.k.a. the money tree...the US is one of the few countries with soil and climate conducive to supporting the growth of deciduous dollarus.

this particular deciduous tree has lost it's leaves ... he must be thinking it's an evergreen ... big difference.

[amiquechu 0]

That really sucks! I understand his guilt feelings, but you aren't made of money. Unfortunately people in other countries believe that us in the US has money coming out of our ears.

I guess I would be serving Mac and cheese and ramen noodles for dinner, as well as shutting off all satellite/cable tv, cell phones, etc. I would make sure that there are not lights other than one on at a time. I think you get my drift. He needs to suffer some for his actions.

You haven't seen deciduous dollarus? a.k.a. the money tree...the US is one of the few countries with soil and climate conducive to supporting the growth of deciduous dollarus.

this particular deciduous tree has lost it's leaves ... he must be thinking it's an evergreen ... big difference.

You're right! The evergreen dollarus that grows in certain coastal cities. I forgot about that one.

[Mary Lou 681]

Maybe the husband is a scammer he is sending the money back home to family then he will leave at right time loool. Drama drama drama save the DRAMA for your momma.

WOW, so rude Eric

Not my fault people like to bring personal problem out to the open world.

Yeah i know its off topic but can you not be a bit sensitive?

[morocco4ever 63]

That really sucks! I understand his guilt feelings, but you aren't made of money. Unfortunately people in other countries believe that us in the US has money coming out of our ears.

I guess I would be serving Mac and cheese and ramen noodles for dinner, as well as shutting off all satellite/cable tv, cell phones, etc. I would make sure that there are not lights other than one on at a time. I think you get my drift. He needs to suffer some for his actions.

You haven't seen deciduous dollarus? a.k.a. the money tree...the US is one of the few countries with soil and climate conducive to supporting the growth of deciduous dollarus.

Where can I get one?

[amiquechu 0]

That really sucks! I understand his guilt feelings, but you aren't made of money. Unfortunately people in other countries believe that us in the US has money coming out of our ears.

I guess I would be serving Mac and cheese and ramen noodles for dinner, as well as shutting off all satellite/cable tv, cell phones, etc. I would make sure that there are not lights other than one on at a time. I think you get my drift. He needs to suffer some for his actions.

You haven't seen deciduous dollarus? a.k.a. the money tree...the US is one of the few countries with soil and climate conducive to supporting the growth of deciduous dollarus.

Where can I get one?

I've only seen pictures. If I knew where to get them, my yard would be the money tree jungle.

[Nessa 23]

[rclouse 0]

If he feels embarrassed if he doesn't send the money, ask him how embarrassed he'll be if he's out on the street cause you lost the house, or getting divorced cause you couldn't pay the bills?

IMHO it's time for some tough love.

[*JG* 2]

My husband sends too much money to his home country. He's done so, in fact, several times where we are not left enough to pay our own bills without overdraft from our credit card. The debt is piling up because he truly believes that his family back home will simply not survive without his monthly donations.

In the meantime, his own family here is under constant financial strain. Everytime this discussion comes up, he becomes ultra defensive and sometimes verbally insulting. He says, "It's a cultural thing...you don't understand..." Blah..blah..blah...

I think the guilt just eats him up. His family in Peru are always telling him how destitute they are. My question is: They survived just fine without his salary before, why can't they do it now?

It's getting worse and worse. We just had a baby and bought a house. Sending several hundred dollars a month to Peru just isn't an option anymore. But he simply won't hear it.

I might just lose my mind

It is a constant struggle. You will eventually figure out a way for you to live with it.

I had to actually show my husband why he couldn't do it.