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A Little Biblical humor

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brnidokiegurl Grand Master

brnidokiegurl   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
 Timeline
Posted

It doesn't hurt to have a little Biblical humor

to start the day....

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?

A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a

little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph

was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles

were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Middle East was especially wealthy?

A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?

A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?

A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?

A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan.)

PS... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?

Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . 'He-brews'

KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.

TIMELINE

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BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   13,619

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph

was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles

were all in one Accord.

:lol:

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

Saddle Bronc Grand Master

Saddle Bronc   124

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Timeline
Posted

Amend: also a sin for a woman to make a cuppa (tea) ==>"He Brews".

:lol::rofl:

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As long as the LORD's beside me, I don't care if this road ever ends.

chri'stina Veteran

chri'stina   190

Posted
Filed: Other Country: India
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

I have heard some of those growing up in church...the one about cars in the bible I have heard a lot.

What about this one:

Where was baseball mentioned in the bible?

Gen 1:1

In the beginning....(pronounced like big inning, har har) :D

Edited by Parivar CSK

Married since 9-18-04(All K1 visa & GC details in timeline.)

Ishu tum he mere Prabhu:::Jesus you are my Lord

Saddle Bronc Grand Master

Saddle Bronc   124

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Timeline
Posted

What is the first state (US) mentioned in the Bible?

Gen 8:13 "...Noah removed the covering of the Arkansas that the surface of the ground was dry" :lol:

2005/07/10 I-129F filed for Pras

2005/11/07 I-129F approved, forwarded to NVC--to Chennai Consulate 2005/11/14

2005/12/02 Packet-3 received from Chennai

2005/12/21 Visa Interview Date

2006/04/04 Pras' entry into US at DTW

2006/04/15 Church Wedding at Novi (Detroit suburb), MI

2006/05/01 AOS Packet (I-485/I-131/I-765) filed at Chicago

2006/08/23 AP and EAD approved. Two down, 1.5 to go

2006/10/13 Pras' I-485 interview--APPROVED!

2006/10/27 Pras' conditional GC arrives -- .5 to go (2 yrs to Conditions Removal)

2008/07/21 I-751 (conditions removal) filed

2008/08/22 I-751 biometrics completed

2009/06/18 I-751 approved

2009/07/03 10-year GC received; last 0.5 done!

2009/07/23 Pras files N-400

2009/11/16 My 46TH birthday, Pras N-400 approved

2010/03/18 Pras' swear-in

---------------------------------------------------------------------

As long as the LORD's beside me, I don't care if this road ever ends.

franklie Enthusiast

franklie   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Mexico
 Timeline
Posted
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

A. Ruthless.

Warning!!! Thread Hi-jack

Many of you have heard of Dr. Ruth.

My question is: If you are making love w/ your SO without utilizing the advice of Dr. Ruth, is that considered "RUTHLESS SEX"? :unsure:

End Thread Hi-jack

Si me dieran a elegir una vez más_____ Nos casamos: el 01 de Julio 2008

te elegiría sin pensarlo _______________ Una cita con una abogada para validar la info de VJ: el 24 de Agosto, 2008 (Ya ella me cree)

es que no hay nada que pensar_______ El envio del I-130: el 26 de Agosto 2008

que no existe ni motivo ni razón ______ Entregado a las 14:13 PM en el 26 de Agosto, 2008 en CHICAGO, IL. Firmado por V BUSTAMANTE.

para dudarlo ni un segundo ___________ La 1ra Notificación de Acción (NOA1): el 29 de Agosto 2008

porque tú has sido lo mejor ___________ El cheque al USCIS cobró: el 2 de Septiembre, 2008

que todo este corazón ________________ Un toque el 19 de septiembre, 2008

y que entre el cielo y tú

yo me quedo contigo

-Franco deVita

 

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