How is your spouse adjusting

[sarahaziz 0]

If I were in your place I'd speak up without being scared that he will leave.

and then say here is he door

arab men are stubborn ommmgg he will actually try to leave and sleep in the street or something i swear they have too much pride

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Pride is good, but women can also have just as much pride and should

[Jenn! 918]

Yeah....about pride....I always get confused whether it is a good or bad thing. You should be proud of who you are, but pride cometh before the fall....

[brnidokiegurl 0]

and to be so stubborn when it is damageing is usually what causes the fall, there is good pride and bad pride...to know who u are and be proud of yourself i think is good but not proud to the point of putting yourself so far above others that you have made yourself superior mix that with stubborness and its usually someone no one wants to be around

[nu7015 0]

Yeah....about pride....I always get confused whether it is a good or bad thing. You should be proud of who you are, but pride cometh before the fall....

Is pride a Moroccan thing, an Arab thing or a Muslim thing or a combination of all three???

I agree with your last sentence.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Yeah....about pride....I always get confused whether it is a good or bad thing. You should be proud of who you are, but pride cometh before the fall....

Is pride a Moroccan thing, an Arab thing or a Muslim thing or a combination of all three???

I agree with your last sentence.

pride i would think is ALL perons thing not a country, place religion, gourp or any of the above, it would be within each person

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Yeah....about pride....I always get confused whether it is a good or bad thing. You should be proud of who you are, but pride cometh before the fall....

Is pride a Moroccan thing, an Arab thing or a Muslim thing or a combination of all three???

I agree with your last sentence.

If there were no Moroccans, no Arabs, no Muslims, there would still be pride.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

sorry so long but interesting

Pride is a lofty view of one's self or one's own. Pride often manifests itself as a high opinion of one's nation (national pride), ethnicity (ethnic pride), or appearance and abilities (vanity). Pride is considered a negative attribute by most major world religions, but some philosophies consider it positive. The opposite of pride is humility.

According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary, Proud comes from late Old English prud, probably from Old French prude "brave, valiant" (11th century), from Latin prode "advantageous, profitable", from prodesse "be useful". The sense of "having a high opinion of oneself", not in French, may reflect the Anglo-Saxons' opinion of the Norman knights who called themselves "proud", like the French knights preux.[citation needed] Other names for pride include superciliousness and overweeningness.

Judaism, using Pride in the sense of hubris or arrogance, denounces it - the phrase "Pride goes before a fall" is a paraphrase of a passage from the book of Proverbs, in the Old Testament. Many more verses of the Tanakh/Old Testament speak of Pride and arrogance. "Blessed is that man that makes the Lord his trust, and looks not to the proud, nor to those that turn aside to lies." (Psalm 40:4) "Talk no more exceeding proudly, nor let arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed." (I Sam. 2:3)

Christianity

In Christianity, Pride (also Vanity or arrogance)[citation needed] is the essentially competitive and excessive belief in one's own abilities that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God, or the worth which God sees in others;[citation needed] for example: "In his Pride the wicked does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God." (Psalm 10:4) Pride the greatest of the seven deadly sins. (Pride, envy, lust, wrath, sloth, gluttony and greed)[citation needed]

According to Sebastien Michaelis, humans are seduced by Pride by the great demon Belial, who is also known as The Lord of Arrogance.[citation needed]

Saint Thomas Aquinas wrote that "inordinate self-love is the cause of every sin." In this he followed St. Gregory.[1][2]

The well-known English maxim, "Pride goes before a fall," is itself an adaptation of Proverbs 16:18.[3]

Pride is listed as one of the Seven Deadly Sins, alternately named Superbia.[citation needed]

Islam

In Islam, Pride is also forbidden. According to a narration from Muhammad, he said: "He in whose heart there is as much as an atom of arrogance will not enter paradise," and a man remarked: "A man likes his garment to be beautiful and his sandals to be beautiful." Then Muhammad replied: "God, Most High, is beautiful and likes beauty; arrogance is disdaining what is true and despising people." (Sahih Muslim).

Asian religions

Buddhism

In Buddhism, Pride is seen as illogical as no one person or thing can be better or worse than something or someone else.[citation needed]

Hinduism

In Hinduism, Ravana, an evil king who was killed by Rama, avatar of Vishnu, exhibited the sins of Pride and Lust.[citation needed]

Taoism

In Taoism, according to the Tao Te Ching, Pride and Greed are human errors.[citation needed]

Philosophical views

Ancient Greek philosophy

Aristotle identified pride (megalopsuchia, variously translated as proper pride, greatness of soul and magnanimity[4]) as the crown of the virtues, distinguishing it from vanity, temperance, and humility, thus:

Now the man is thought to be proud who thinks himself worthy of great things, being worthy of them; for he who does so beyond his deserts is a fool, but no virtuous man is foolish or silly. The proud man, then, is the man we have described. For he who is worthy of little and thinks himself worthy of little is temperate, but not proud; for pride implies greatness, as beauty implies a goodsized body, and little people may be neat and well-proportioned but cannot be beautiful. On the other hand, he who thinks himself worthy of great things, being unworthy of them, is vain; though not every one who thinks himself worthy of more than he really is worthy of is vain. The man who thinks himself worthy of less than he is really worthy of is unduly humble, whether his deserts be great or moderate, or his deserts be small but his claims yet smaller. And the man whose deserts are great would seem most unduly humble; for what would he have done if they had been less? The proud man, then, is an extreme in respect of the greatness of his claims, but a mean in respect of the rightness of them; for he claims what is accordance with his merits, while the others go to excess or fall short. [5]

He concludes then that

Pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character. [6][7]

By contrast, Aristotle defined hubris as follows:

to cause shame to the victim, not in order that anything may happen to you, nor because anything has happened to you, but merely for your own gratification. Hubris is not the requital of past injuries; this is revenge. As for the pleasure in hubris, its cause is this: men think that by ill-treating others they make their own superiority the greater.[8]

Thus, although many religions may not recognize the difference, for Aristotle and many philosophers hubris is altogether an entirely different thing from pride.

[edit] Nietzsche

Nietzsche saw Pride as an example of a previous, master set of morals that had been replaced with slave moralities. In this, Pride was good, because it acknowledges the good and the noble, rejecting the weak and insipid. Without pride, we will remain subservient.

[edit] Objectivism

Objectivism is among the few modern philosophies and/or religions that list pride as a virtue. According to Ayn Rand, pride is one of the seven main virtues. In The Virtue of Selfishness, Ayn Rand wrote

The virtue of Pride can best be described by the term: “moral ambitiousness.” It means that one must earn the right to hold oneself as one’s own highest value by achieving one’s own moral perfection—which one achieves by never accepting any code of irrational virtues impossible to practice and by never failing to practice the virtues one knows to be rational—by never accepting an unearned guilt and never earning any, or, if one has earned it, never leaving it uncorrected—by never resigning oneself passively to any flaws in one’s character—by never placing any concern, wish, fear or mood of the moment above the reality of one’s own self-esteem. And, above all, it means one’s rejection of the role of a sacrificial animal, the rejection of any doctrine that preaches self-immolation as a moral virtue or duty.[9]

Pride is thus seen as a positive, correct life-affirming attitude to have, as it celebrates one's achievements and promoted selfworth.

It is achieved by consistently practicing productiveness, rationality, independence, honesty, integrity, justice and all of the other virtues, and the end result is one of the three cardinal Objectivist values: self-esteem.

[Jenn! 918]

I really do find it confusing. Isn't pride one of the 7 deadly sins? But yet we are always encouraged to be proud of our accomplishments, our country, etc.

[chaishai 1]

First off to say that a marriage won’t last is way off, there are so many factors and just because the man is homesick is not a sign of divorce. Sometimes the happiest couples are the ones that end in divorce, not always, but I am sure the BTK killer’s wife had no clue that she was married to a serial killer. So never think you have all the answers, your own marriage could be in trouble and you have no clue. Marriage is hard enough without someone telling you that your marriage is not going to make it. No one knows, unless you are a wonderful psychic. If you are indeed a psychic, should I just throw in the towel on my life? Just wondering, cause right now it looks very dark in here.

I just stopped into work because I cannot post from home and I am picking up some papers but all in all I have done the best I can. In the face of being sick, I patiently waited for 2 months for my husband to get to see his mom.. even though I had a medical expedite. I have dealt with family infighting. Homesickness. I now have pre eclampsia to boot. I am working full time until I give birth as well as taking classes. I have put every single drop of blood into making things work. He has his greencard, his ss and his id and can get a job at any time. I have gotten up to take kids to school, cleaned the house, driven myself to every ob appointment, spent thousands on immigration and phone bills, put up with more than could ever be imagined. I have just done everything I can at this point. I am now 31 weeks pregnant and not one time have I felt catered to or taken care of. If our marriage doesn't last and I am abandoned with this baby sick and alone and working full time and keeping my life afloat, I can say I did the best I can. In all good faith, I will not be surprised if he returns home, nor will I fault him. He has had a difficult time adjusting. I have bent over backwards 15 hours a day to make things halal.. to make things right... to drive him to English school.. to have arabic tv for him. To buy his special foods... all along with ankles 4 inches thick and I cant breathe. I am not even free to use my home computer as I want. Still I face constant criticism that I am not as good as , as smart as , as clean as women back home. All the while I have to somehow keep a job when I am told I am not attractive to him anymore, do something about that hair, your food doesnt taste good... etc. I have done the best I can. If I cant tell you guys .. I cant tell anyone.... this is the end of the road for me and the sadnes has just gotten overwhelming.

I am deeply sad and starting on tranquilizers tonight to help me sleep because my heart is beating out of my chest at this point. I love him. Maybe I am not good enough. But I didnt need to go through all of this to find out. I needed a little love to compensate for all the #### I have had to put up with. At the end of the day< I take responsibility for my stuff but when You hear someone talking about you in Arabic to their mom and they say horrible things when all you do is cater

KHANZA MOUSSA MAHBOULA and you have given all your money and all your love, your credit cards are maxed out and your health is failing. You reach your breaking point. I have reached mine.

I told my mom today that I want my aunt to take the kids when I am induced and I want to be alone when I give birth. I no longer even want him with me in the hospital or in the drs office. I just want to end this journey alone because when you can t take care of the things that matter and you arent getting sleep or help and you really did the best you can it kills you

can you take tranquilzers when pregnant? is this for real?!

[nu7015 0]

Yeah....about pride....I always get confused whether it is a good or bad thing. You should be proud of who you are, but pride cometh before the fall....

Is pride a Moroccan thing, an Arab thing or a Muslim thing or a combination of all three???

I agree with your last sentence.

pride i would think is ALL perons thing not a country, place religion, gourp or any of the above, it would be within each person

Yeah....about pride....I always get confused whether it is a good or bad thing. You should be proud of who you are, but pride cometh before the fall....

Is pride a Moroccan thing, an Arab thing or a Muslim thing or a combination of all three???

I agree with your last sentence.

If there were no Moroccans, no Arabs, no Muslims, there would still be pride.

Ummmmmmmmmmm yes I am very well aware of that!!!! There seems to be a lot of pride among Arabs. Sometimes too much.

[nu7015 0]

I really do find it confusing. Isn't pride one of the 7 deadly sins? But yet we are always encouraged to be proud of our accomplishments, our country, etc.

I feel that pride is a sin when it is used to make someone else feel less than you or to make someone feel bad period. This was actually a lesson a taught a couple weeks ago to my class of 8 year olds at church. It is considered a sin. Pride is the opposite of humility and humility is one of the greatest attributes a person can have.

I explained to my class that when your parents tell you they are proud of them, that is a good kind of pride. But if they were to go and talk with other parents and brag about how proud they are of their kids because they are so good at whatever to make the other parents feel less than them, then that is bad pride.

To be full of pride and to not be able to admit you are wrong or to just hold onto being right whether you are or not, only creates resentment to those around you.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I will also try to be kind, but also direct. I agree with what sarahaziz said about teaching people how you want to be treated, Wahraina, but I have to add that I see a pattern here. The anti-Arab, anti-male tendencies in your posts tell me that you have a mind set that creates what it fears. Such deep-seated stereotyping can't help but carry-over in some form in your relationship that breeds resentment in your man. Relationships thrive with respect, and that goes both ways.

You also seem to expect Arab men to be disrespectful and misogynist, so you may choose someone that exhibits those traits, making it a self-fulhilling prophecy. The dynamics you describe do not come about in a vacuum; they may have been anticipated, playing out what you have been long transferring into the relationships of others here who have expressed any volitility in their marriages, and feared out loud that would be the state of your own relationship. I have to say that, sadly, I am not surprised that this is your current state of affairs.

I hope you will be open to change, or the mistakes you have already made you will repeat. In the meantime, nix the drama and begin to set boundaries, find calm, and see your husband as a man, the man you choose, the father of your child, not an Arab. Then, you may be ready to deal with your situation in a rational manner.

Best wishes to you both. We all love a happy ending.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Ummmmmmmmmmm yes I am very well aware of that!!!! There seems to be a lot of pride among Arabs. Sometimes too much.

As an Arab, I see loads of pride in non-Arabs.

[SaadBell 0]

Arab men, well let me say that Latino men are just as stubborn and bullheaded and maybe more so. Now back to the problem at hand, to be pregnant and not have the support of your husband is awful. I agree with Charles on this one, it is time for him to put his big boy pants on and be a freaking man, husband and father. The cleaning part really got me; Americans are over the top germ phobic, so I don’t know what the hell he is talking about. It makes me angry to see a pregnant sick woman treated like #######, you don’t deserve that. Now if you want to have a little fun, and maybe get a few laughs, start reading true crime books, one where the wife slaughters the husband. Make sure you leave the book lying around and that you get one with pictures, always a nice touch. Also turn on TV and watch the show called Snapped, good stuff, make sure he watches it with you. The last time I saw my husband I had the serial killer bible with me, makes my husband crazy with my love of crime. He really has to get his self together, he is not the first man to come to America, and won’t be the last. Of course you miss you home country, that is only natural, but he has some responsibilities here that he needs to act like a grown man and support his wife. Saying things about the way you look is not acceptable EVER, not the way he said it. You should be pampered and spoiled and loved during your pregnancy. Next time, marry a man with some money and knows how to handle himself and make a good life for you and your children. I am kinda of mad thinking of this guy right now, he needs a good kick in the ###. I know my Grandfather came to America and didn't speak a word of english, he worked very hard to get a good life here. He would never allow my Grandmother to work, he took care of her, and really always looked after her. In my culture it is a dishonor for a man to live off a women, big shame. Hang in there and you come on here and vent all you want. You are not alone, you have friends right here who do care about you.