Just doing research

[Zi Zi 0]

Hello..Kedu,

Just wanted to introduce myself. I have been lurking for a while. I have been to Senegal many times for my job , then a year ago I meet someone ......we hung out during my assignment. I wasn't looking for love and basically filtered everything he said to me thru the ...does he just wants a green card. I travel internationally alot and get many marriage offers :-)

My father is Nigerian( I lived both there and here, but consider myself more American) so I have always been attracted to African men, but are well aware of the various scams. And before anyone starts ... I don't think Nigeria is any worst then any other African country. In fact 99% of the Nigerians a I know married to Americans are extremely happy. My parent celebrated there 50 year anniversary a couple of years ago. They have homes in both countries and travel home once or twice a year. Since they are retired now they stay for months.

Any way after a year we decided to get married. We are both in our 40's (he is one year older than me) This will be my second marriage ..divorced for 18 yrs. His first marriage. Heres the thing...I really don't care to live in the USA. I feel like I am not ready to move to Africa yet. I have a son in college and want to save more money to start our business in Senegal . I love Senegal and want to build a home with a oceanview. After my son finishes he's studies I will be ready to relocate. Right now my son if my first priority and my SO knows that.

We talk about money alot, but I know he will not fully understand the cost of living here until he experiences it. I am getting my paper work together and will post time line once I mail it off. My only fear right now is that he will prefer the US to Senegal and will not want to move back. Even though alot of Africans who live here are just here for the money and would prefer to in Africa like my parents.

I have looked at check list for the paperwork.. any other suggestions please let me know. I hope to make the process as smooth as possible. I am a people person and hate working on anything that involve a lot of red tape.

Edited July 7, 2008 by zizi817

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

good luck and best wishes

[Zee Bee 61]

Welcome to VJ

I would say take things one step at time. Since you know, for now, that you want to be here, then the best choice is to have him come here. As time goes on you can decide whether you want to live somewhere else, or split your time. Just talk about it with your SO and keep your options open. Everything will fall into place.

Good luck

[Ta Ta 1]

Welcome !

If you need help with the process let us know, we are here to help.

We also went through the Dakar embassy.

Best wishes for a smooth and speedy visa journey.

[Asante Maroon 0]

Hi ZiZi,

Welcome to VJ!!!

I have a suspicion that your SO would love it here for the opportunities, but once he feels comfortable financially, he may want to go back to Senegal to live. Most Africans that I know are dying to go back home after they finish school and/or makes enough money to live a comfortable life in their home country.

The other percentage of Africans that I know who want to stay in the US rather than live in their home country, are the ones who have been here for a loooooong time and has not visited their home country for a looooooong time (for whatever reason) and they are so accustomed to the US, that they feel almost a disconnect to their home country. They feel that their home country has changed so much since they were last there and they would not be able to handle it enough to go back there and live. There are people that I know who have not been to their home country in 20 years or more!

I say all of this to say: Don't worry!. You can count on him for even being homesick when he gets here (and that is a bit difficult to deal with). You both will enjoy your home with the oceanside view

And just a bit of warning: This process can feel like you are dealing with a lot of red tape. And like you, I am a people person and I found it very difficult at first, to only have the option of communicating to the powers that be through snail mail, e-mail or over the phone. When you feel like the process is overwhelming or jut plain ole driving you crazy, we are all here for you.... We have either been through it, about to go through it, or are going through it.

Good luck to you on your journey and feel free to ask whatever questions you may have....or if you need to vent...we are here!

Take care,

[*JG* 2]

Good luck to you.

[forchika 4]

Hello you have been given some good advice already, just wanted to add my" WELCOME". Good luck with your visa journey.

[Linguere 0]

Welcome!! I wanted to live in Senegal all of my life too. I have also spent a lot of time there. It was only recently that I realized that I won't be ready for a while...dealing with the corruption didn't seem as funny when I had to go through it on a daily basis while my husband and I were trying to go through a process while we were there a month ago. I know what you mean about your SO, but trust me, in most cases, people do want to return at some point as long as you can purchase a home and have a good life. You know that you need money to do that there, so don't worry. Just make sure that you do discuss it. I feel bad that my husband is making such a sacrifice coming here as he has many opportunities at home. I have to finish school and we need to save money before going home for good. So, like you, I want to, but not yet.

This process is indeed daunting, and the Dakar embassy is not particularly friendly. Even my senator's office was not at all happy with that embassy. Still, we made it through and you will too. Just give a shout if you need help. I just took the process on like it was my own project and eventually it was over. Just keep skype close for you and your SO and you will be okay. Those occasional trips to DKR make life wonderful.

Blessings,

Aisha

[Truth be Told 0]

[Zi Zi 0]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the warm welcome. ...TbT is the smiley me filling out all that paper work???

Anyway working on sending in the I-129. As far as the fees I talked to my SO a while back and we decided that he would pay 1/3 and me 2/3 for this first filing. I told him that once he gets his visa that will switch. The rest of this process I pay 1/3 and he pays 2/3 on any fees.

I remember growing up my mother would hardly ever buy us teen-agers things out right. We worked and she always told us our paycheck wasn't fun money. If we wanted something she always made sure that we at least paid a percentage. That way we appreciated everything more.The percentage would vary depending on how much she thought we really need it. The track shoes I wanted I paid 10%, to replace my glasses when I lost them I paid 50% ( Mom paid 100% for the first pair and she felt that I was careless with them..which I was ) The rabbit fur jacket I had to have I paid 90% ( never did get that jacket). The wool jacket mom paid 100%.

I use to hate her percent rules and didn't fully understand them until I had a teenager. I see now that 90% of the things my child asked me for is just foolishness. I hardly ever say... no you can't have that. It just causes a long argument ... I just give him a percentage. My son inherited my knack for loosing glasses. He is on his 5th pair at 100% his treat :-)

Mom says with a husband you cant just hand out the percentages you must come to a mutual agreement. Then she added... at least let him think it was mutual. My parents never mixed their money. Each had their own accounts and responsibility for bills and things. We always knew who paid what bill, and who you asked for certain things. My parents have been married over 50 years so I was listening.

Nice break...back to the grind. Everyone had a good day.

Edited July 9, 2008 by Zi Zi