Did you or will you change your name after marriage?

[SWA2 1]

Hey all,

I have been thinking a lot about whether or not I want to change my name. I recently married in March and have not changed my name. First off, it seems like a big pain in the butt to change it when you're in the middle of all this immigration stuff... but secondly, I'm not sure if I want to. I know a lot of people do, and a lot of people add the married name to their maiden name, but I am curious as to why... why did you change your name, or not change your name?

I have been doing a lot of research on the subject and I thought these links were interesting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiden_name

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,280574,00.html

It seems horribly sexist to me though, that in some States a man cannot change his name upon getting married as a woman can, and instead has to go through the courts and dish out money to make the change.

Right now I'm leaning toward not changing my name. Or changing both our names, maybe we could make up our own unique last name. The only benefit I see at this point in having the same name is if we had children.

What are your thoughts? I'm curious.

Janny

My wife did not change her name when we married. She is from China and traditionally Chinese women do not change their name when they marry. Unlike some other Chinese names her name is short and very easy to pronounce. Her first name is only 3 letters and her family name is only 2 letters. In English it's pronounced exactly as it's spelled. At first she thought it was required that she change her name to mine in this country. When I told her she had the option she decided to keep her own name. Actually, she asked some of my friends and most of them thought she should keep her own name because her first name combined with my last name sounded a little strange.

[Cdn_Ali 11]

I have no particular attachment to my maiden name and when I married my first husband, I happily took his name. It was easy to say & easy to sign. However, after the divorce I didn't want any part of 'him' so I went back to my maiden name. It was such a pain to change it back because I had to deal with Canadian immigration as well as the regular stuff & there was considerable expense involved.

Now I have a new husband (and another immigration process) - I will not be changing my name again. I will use my married name to keep my husband happy for non-official things only. It doesn't mean I love him any less. I think each person should do what feels right to them and I wouldn't cave in to pressure from other people.

[bora bora 1]

I changed my surname because I wanted to and then I found out my husband liked that (he never said either way before). I was looking forward to becoming Mrs. *******. My maiden name is very common and simple. My married name is not hard, it rhymes with a common food brand in the U.S., but people here don't find it as easy as I thought. But I don't care.

Now my complete name is long and I like it. I have a Portuguese last name and I think it fits me.

[Jenn! 918]

I did not change my name. I wasn't making any particular statement, it was just our decision. But some people really can be so judgmental about it - I often detect a hint of the "oh god not another feminazi" eye roll.

Edited July 12, 2008 by Jenn!

[ED*Riza 0]

I used my hubby's family name. I love it.

[bora bora 1]

I did not change my name. I wasn't making any particular statement, it was just our decision. But some people really can be so judgmental about it - I often detect a hint of the "oh god not another feminazi" eye roll.

Why do people care so much about what others do... jeez.

[AHC_2015 130]

I changed my name when I got married. It wasn't all that important for me to keep my maiden name and besides, people would have just buthered it over here.

[KarenCee 3]

I changed my name to my husband's. Reason? I wanted to get rid of my ex's name. It was also a way to honour my husband and not for some traditional whatever. Besides, I like my husband's name!

[angie007 0]

i dont like my fiance's last name,i like mine,but i'm taking his last name when we get married simply because we are going to be as one....we are going to share everything we have....

[Gemmie 142]

I've been thinking about it but I'm not sure.

On one hand, I want to take his surname because as the poster above says, I want to share everything with him. I also like tradition.

However, my mum and gran have passed away in the past few years and I'm the only female in the family (except for extended family), and it almost feels like I'm betraying them by changing my last name - my dad and brother will obviously stay with this name, and my mum had it too...

I know that's more about my own issues though, so who knows what I'll decide.

[Chamy and Gatita 3]

Check out these interesting links on the topic of name change after marriage.

http://www.slate.com/id/2097231

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy_Stone

http://www.lucystoneleague.org/

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2..._last_name.html

http://www.tangomag.com/20085623/the-name-game.html/1

I'm reading through this thread quite a bit after it was posted, but this is great information. Thanks for sharing so many super links! How wonderful to learn about Lucy Stone- that's a name we should all know!!

[Kevin&Leilei 1]

Interesting. My fiancee and I have not yet decided what to do. I have no problem if she keeps her maiden name, as traditionally women in China don't change their name when they get married. But, in China, the surname comes first. She doesn't like how her name sounds with her surname at the end. There is also the issue that Chinese names are largely incompatible with American English speakers. We've tossed around the idea of her taking my last name, and adopting her unofficial English name as her legal first name, and keeping her Chinese given name as her middle name. I don't know if we will encounter any difficulty in changing her entire name.

[Chris & Mara 0]

I will be taking Chris' name, personally I like my madien name, and our family only has 2 girls so it will be sad to see that Dad's name stops with him.

However, My mum took my dad's name and has lived quite happily with it for the last 28 years, in fact, on both my mothers and fathers side they have always taken the name of the husband. Having grown up with this I see it as traditional to take the husbands name.

But I also like the idea of being one and a family, plus at first my name sounded funny with his, but after saying it a few times it feels right (plus it gets rid of the silly little "my intials spell my nickname" that my parents thought was such a good idea). I think Chris is happy that I will be taking his name, I will have to ask to be certain tomorrow when I talk to him though lol....

[tom&tata 2]

No name change - not a culture where I come from. All paperwork in US also carry maiden name. I am just too lazy to change everything.

[Laura+Tom 2]

I will be taking Tom's surname which is a very English name anyway. With regards to difficulty changing names whilst going through the immigration process, I don't think it makes any difference whether I was or wasn't going through it as you just show your marriage certificate to change things. I'm having a new life so I might as well have a new name to go with it! Even if I got married to an Englishman I would still take his surname.