Did you or will you change your name after marriage?

[Jan and Steve 0]

Hey all,

I have been thinking a lot about whether or not I want to change my name. I recently married in March and have not changed my name. First off, it seems like a big pain in the butt to change it when you're in the middle of all this immigration stuff... but secondly, I'm not sure if I want to. I know a lot of people do, and a lot of people add the married name to their maiden name, but I am curious as to why... why did you change your name, or not change your name?

I have been doing a lot of research on the subject and I thought these links were interesting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiden_name

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,280574,00.html

It seems horribly sexist to me though, that in some States a man cannot change his name upon getting married as a woman can, and instead has to go through the courts and dish out money to make the change.

Right now I'm leaning toward not changing my name. Or changing both our names, maybe we could make up our own unique last name. The only benefit I see at this point in having the same name is if we had children.

What are your thoughts? I'm curious.

Janny

[Rosie74 0]

I believe the whole name change is a very personal decision. I did change my last name when I got married simply because I always hated my maiden name. Don't get me wrong, the relationship with my parents is awesome, but the last name they gave me is a bit funny, and I went through all sort of pains back when I was a kid.. so that's the main reason why I changed it. Of course I do love my husband and having his last name makes me feel like I'm part of his family too..

Like I said, it's very personal and while some people might like this, others might think it's a sexist thing. I wouldn't see anything wrong if a man would change his last name too, but I know not every state allows this. I think it should be left up to the person on what they want to do with their names.. after all, each individual might have different reasons for wanting to change it, or not

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

My maiden name is French, so it gets butchered often. I'm not changing it to fit into the patriarchal reasoning; I'm doing it because its easier to pronounce...

[Rosie74 0]

My maiden name is French, so it gets butchered often. I'm not changing it to fit into the patriarchal reasoning; I'm doing it because its easier to pronounce...

I hear you... mine on top of being rather ridiculous it's almost impossible to pronounce here in the States!

[pushbrk 13,133]

My maiden name is French, so it gets butchered often. I'm not changing it to fit into the patriarchal reasoning; I'm doing it because its easier to pronounce...

I hear you... mine on top of being rather ridiculous it's almost impossible to pronounce here in the States!

It's a mutual decision for the couple generally.

My first wife always looked forward to changing her name at marriage because her maiden name was long and unusual. I was my second wife's third husband and she definitely didn't want to keep that second husband's name. My third and current wife is Chinese and they don't generally change their name at marriage. Neither of us saw any reason to change her name but she doesn't mind if people refer to her as Mrs. Pushbrk.

Do what works for you.

[Steph0814 1]

That was a big discussion I had with my girlfriends.

My parents didn't give me a middle name (plus I have a french hard to pronounce maiden name) so I used my maiden as middle and added his.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I chose to keep my 'maiden' name. I like my name; I have lived with it for many years; all of my professional accomplishments and publications are in this name; all of my identification . . . I was giving up my country, my friends, my family, my career, my former life - everything I had ever known to move to the States to marry my husband; giving up my name as well felt like giving up 'me', like losing my identity. I chose to keep my name. It reflects nothing about the commitment or lack of commitment to my husband or my marriage. People ask in quiet little secret voices if there is a reason I don't use my husband's name and so I tell them. Some understand and some don't. Some still insist on calling me Mrs. Husband's LastName. That is fine:-) too. My husband had no problems with my decision; in fact he was the one who first brought the issue up and stated right from the beginning that he had no problems if I wanted to keep my maiden name.

Edited July 6, 2008 by Kathryn41

[jundp 191]

Keeping maiden name for professional reasons.

Will take husband's name legally however. I like his name and my name sounds good with his :-)

[Dr. Obvious 49]

My husband didn't want me to take his name and I didn't care. Where it gets sticky is that our daughter does not have his last name either, also his choice. People assume a lot of different things because of that, because even if the wife doesn't take the name, it is customary to give the last name of the father to the children you have together, marriage or not.

[Marilyn. 340]

I changed my name because I was tired of my maiden name

[Jan and Steve 0]

I chose to keep my 'maiden' name. I like my name; I have lived with it for many years; all of my professional accomplishments and publications are in this name; all of my identification . . . I was giving up my country, my friends, my family, my career, my former life - everything I had ever known to move to the States to marry my husband; giving up my name as well felt like giving up 'me', like losing my identity. I chose to keep my name. It reflects nothing about the commitment or lack of commitment to my husband or my marriage. People ask in quiet little secret voices if there is a reason I don't use my husband's name and so I tell them. Some understand and some don't. Some still insist on calling me Mrs. Husband's LastName. That is fine:-) too. My husband had no problems with my decision; in fact he was the one who first brought the issue up and stated right from the beginning that he had no problems if I wanted to keep my maiden name.

My husband comes from a big family and all of his sisters have changed their names after they got married. They all raised their eyebrows and kind of gasped when I said I hadn't changed my name. I think right now, I'd change it mainly because like one of the other VJ people mentioned... my last name sounds funny and I like my husband's name better. I'm just trying to decide if it's worth the hassle of changing it.

One thing that really ticks me though (like I mentioned in my first post) is how men are not as free as women to change their name when they get married. I can't help but still feel like the whole name change thing is somehow archaic and somewhat sexist if we still haven't made it equal in terms of men being able to do the same when they marry. A man should be able to change his name when he gets married as easily as a woman. That's my two cents.

[ELW 5]

I kept my own last name after marriage. I like the idea of keeping to my roots. Plus I always loved my dad and he is gone now and I guess it is my way of holding onto him. Plus it is an easy name. Plus I can't deal with the hassle of changing my name in gazillion places. Plus hubby's name is long and hard to pronounce. Plus he doesn't mind at all that I kept my name.

[Cassie 8]

If we were living in Canada, I would have hyphenated my last name to include his last name, to make life easier when it came to my career. Since we are living in the US, transitioning to just his last name was easy and painless. Either way, I wanted to have his last name as part of mine.

[Ta Ta 1]

I can't wait to take on my fiance's name when we get married..........my maiden name seems strange to me, l I can't relate to it anymore

after being married for a long time to my , whose name I can't wait to lose

[Marilyn. 340]

i didn't change my name because I felt like I had to... I just wanted to change it...